as you all know, the most important television sports event of the year is happening this sunday, and it’s time for us to choose our favorites and place our bets!

i’m talking, of course, about THE MOTHER-CUSSING PUPPY BOWL!!!!!!! HOLD ON TO YR SQUEES!!!!!! (at least, until after the stupid commercial):

OMGGG!! SOMEONE GIMME A POMPOM AND A PUPPY CUDDLE IMMEDIATELY!!!!!!

now before you make any picks, sports fans, i recommend that you spend at least several hours analyzing the starting line-up. obvs, this is serious business, so don’t be too hasty with yr decisions! (pro tip: to build a greater base of knowledge and thereby increase the accuracy of your choices, check out the puppy bowl historical highlights compiled by the onion).

as a professional puppy bowl enthusiast, i recommend utilizing the following guidelines when selecting yr star players:

• level of cuteness
• floppiness of ears
• size of head compared to body
• strategic placement of spots
• and, most importantly, SWEETNESS OF PUPPY EYES!!!!!!

after careful research and several calls to coaches, i’m excited to announce that my personal pick for MVP is… COCO!!!!

it’ll be funny to yell “TEAM COCO!” in a context that has nothing to do with late night television. but seriously, look at those eyes! that soft nose! those floppy ears! the oversized paws! coco has the makings of a PUPPYBOWL CHAMPION!!!!

as for the game in general, here are my super professional ESPN level predictions:

• average “AWWW!”s per minute = 45
• adorable puppy collisions = 89
• balls destroyed = 5
• times i really, really wish i owned a puppy = 7,498
• moments when i declare myself to be way more qualified than the ref at handling cuteness = 35
• puppy touchdowns = WHO CARES?

and now it’s yr turn, puppy pantsers! submit your picks & predics in the comments, and then get yr massive foam puppy paws ready for a SHOWDOWN OF SQUEE!

RAY AND JULIET GOT ENGAGED!!!! HOLY PANTS!!!

and it was a top secret, super hush hush, hyper-planned surprise!!! known as “operation blue harvest” because ray is a huge nerd, the plan went down as follows:

1. meredith emailed several h-town ladies about having a girlie night in honor of my visit to houston.

2. erin suggested dinner at backstreet cafe, which is juliet & ray’s favorite restaurant.

3. ray called juliet on friday morning to say that he was about to fly to florida on a last minute work trip, something having to do with the shuttle launch* (*this is not as outlandish as it sounds, since ray works for NASA). he even played pre-recorded flight boarding noises from a previous plane trip in order to completely fool juliet (it worked, and yes, he was v. proud of himself).

4. erin, meredith, jill, alex, juliet and i arrived at backstreet and, through some superspy maneuvering, managed to get juliet to sit in the seat facing away from the door.

5. we ordered dinner and all tried to ACT NORMAL even though i thought my pants were going to explode from the dizzying combination of “OMG! impending proposal!” and “what if i accidentally use the verb ‘engage’ and TOTALLY GIVE EVERYTHING AWAY?!”

6. we ordered dessert, which is not only important with respect to the plan but also cos DESSERT!! i got these classy donuts, complete with a little coffee milkshake:

hey mr. donut man? who’s trying to kill you? IT’S ME SARAH PANTS!!!

anyway, um, proposal! right right. ok.

7. the waiters brought out every dessert except for juliet’s, and then ray, dressed as a waiter, appeared at the door (behind juliet). i was tasked with filming the Big Moment cos, duh, flossie is like permanently glued to my hand. in fact, as we joked later, it would have been suspicious if my camera *hadn’t* been out. esp. during dessert time.

8. and then !!!!!!!!! AND I GOT IT ALL ON VIDEO!!! WATCH THE MAGIC HAPPEN!!!!

I KNOW, RIGHT?!!!! how cute is juliet?!!!!!! she was so surprised!!!!

i think this may have been my finest moment as a videographer in the history of my life, rivaled only by the time i filmed josh and henri engaged (it’s ok! i can say it now!!!) in a communion wafer eating contest.

make sure you watch around the 2:25 mark, cos that’s when her shock begins to wear off and juliet starts asking questions like, “wait, so… you didn’t go to florida?!!”

in her own words: “i had to shut down and reboot!” and this, ladies and gentlemen, is why juliet and ray are a match made in heaven.

EEEEE!!!!!! THEY ARE SO HAPPY! I’M SO HAPPY!! happy pants all around!!!!!

and, the best part? juliet still got to eat the creme brulee she ordered. cos, i mean, a diamond ring is great and all, but when a girl wants dessert, she should get dessert.

hee hee, look at that smile on ray’s face. i would say that’s a look of pure unadultuerated joy, but in reality, it’s joy mixed with a healthy dose of engineer pride. as he told meredith, “i’ve planned for every contingency.” aw ray, i’m so glad that geeky boy scout i met back in 1997 is still alive and well! and also, that you found a lady who appreciates yr inner nerd, aka awesomeness!

we spent the rest of the evening celebrating, and i felt so grateful to share in the happiness of a dear friend with other dear friends!

yep, that one’s going on the fridge.

i also loved looking over at ray and juliet every so often and seeing this:

SQUEEMANIA you guys. squee freaking mania.

although the proposal was obvs the most exciting part of my weekend, here are a few other highlights:

a delicious brunch at pico’s, where meredith earned a $20 gift card for writing an essay about “why i love pico’s.” because she’s in the third grade.

a play date with emma g, the delightful offspring of mark and stasha (who are moving to minnesota, so i had to soak up as much crazy aunt sarah time as possible!).

cake and convo with meredith at empire cafe, which is the closest i can get to heaven without the whole death thing.

jill’s totally fabulous birthday party, featuring DIY sushi!!!

brunch at beaver’s, where i feasted upon the “dam good” breakfast…

(yes, that is shredded pork on eggs! because it is v. necessary!)

and “beaver balls,” deep-fried brownies with peanut butter, white chocolate and ice cream WHAAAAAAAAAAA

major props to jordan for recommending beaver’s to me. IT IS AWESOME AND I WILL BE BACK LIKE THE FREAKING TERMINATOR.

so yeah, not a shabby weekend. not. at. all.

congratulations, ray and juliet!! i love you guys!! also p.s. please have deep fried brownies at yr wedding KTHX!!!!

LINKS

not only is the new cass mccombs single totally dreamy, but this video is pretty much the greatest thing ever. i mean, besides ray’s proposal video.

ryan reynolds vs. betty white = FIERCE.

i found this list last week and realized that i actually *haven’t* seen everything on the internet. shocking!

my new dream job: rotus.

dear mandy moore: i can show you how to use kitchen knives, no problem. let’s be friends!!!!!!!

jezebel makes it easy to catch up on the best skits from will ferrell’s SNL gig over the weekend. my favorite is totally doll hands.

speaking of SNL, vulture compliled the top skits from season 34, and oh man, i forgot how much i love mark wahlberg talking to animals.

this link is also from last week but it made me smile so big, i had to share it with you guys cos AWWW! sasha, i know that feeling all too well.

vulture keeps us updated on the song of the summer power rankings. so far, i’m not impressed. come on, summer 2009, you can do better than this!

squee of the day: MINI FOOD BLOG OMGGGGGGG!!!!

our first ride of the day was actually on the monorail, which when i was five seemed like a totally futuristic train but now feels exactly like a subway. still, as henri discovered, it’s really fun to say “monorail.” esp. with a strange european-ish accent.

determined to remain as DRY AS POSSIBLE, i insisted on wearing my poncho. even though it wasn’t raining. and even though henri told me i looked like a huge dork.

but i got the last laugh, cos as we excited the monorail, it was sprinkling (boo). and everyone else was wearing a poncho, so i felt like less of a loser.

but even cloudy skies can’t diminish the sparkle of the magic kingdom. i mean look!!!

we made a beeline for space mountain, cos it’s always been my most favoritist favorite ride in all of disneyworld. even when i was five, i made my dad ride it with me, and HE was the scaredy cat. plus, the bad weather meant that the park wasn’t really crowded yet, so we didn’t even have to use a fast pass! we just walked right on the ride, which is like, wining the lottery. seriously.

see? the poncho is totally not dorky. not at all.

space mountain, in case you’ve never ridden it (hello, what are you waiting for?!!), is a roller coaster that mostly takes place in the dark, and you zoom around stars and planets and go through tunnels that feel totally like tron:

honestly, there is no better theme for a coaster than space. i mean, people have tried, like with aerosmith or naming it after a big snake or adding water, but really, there is no way you can ever improve on the feeling of flying through space. well, space with oxygen.

upon exiting the ride, i ran into my video game archnemisis, the jumpin’ jackpot!!!! i was all, “JJ, what are YOU doing here?!!”

then i noticed the name change and realized that this was merely a cousin of the jumpin’ jackpot, and definitely a lesser cousin, cos you don’t win tickets. uh, SO not worth my time.

wanting to revisit even more of my disney nostalgia, i dragged erica and henri onto “it’s a small world” because, and this has been scientifically proven, it is the Squee-est Ride In The Universe.

i mean, even as you enter the ride, it says this:

(it says “sailed” at the end but i accidentally cut it off)

who wouldn’t want to ride the happiest cruise that ever sailed?!!!!! plus everyone knows the song, so you can sing along with total strangers and feel connected with them and YAY! it really is a small world after all!

sailing through the various “countries,” i suddenly realized that my encounter with this ride as a five year old completely shaped my sense of style, aka MY APARTMENT LOOKS JUST LIKE THIS RIDE. man, it feels good to discover yr roots.

back outside, we ran into some little disney princesses! and i know what i said about the whole marketing monster thing, and i still hate that salon but… LOOK HOW ADORABLE THEY ARE!!!!!!!!

i esp. dig their choice of footwear.

since we were in front of the castle, i of course insisted that we take our required cheesy group photo. and of course it’s totally frameable!!!!

HOW CUTE ARE WE WITH OUR MOUSE EARS?!!!

(also, note the mini cinderella on the left. like i said, they’re everywhere!)

aren’t they fabulous?! we discovered that disney now lets you *customize* yr own mickey ears to match yr taste and personality. so, of course erica went with the classic (cos she’s a disney purist), while henri went with the bling (basically the disney equivalent of a gold chain) while my genetic structure practically FORCED me select the pinkest, fuzziest thing possible.

i swear, wearing mouse ears makes everything a hundred times happier. in fact, if you’re having a bad day, and you need to come over and borrow my pink ears, i will let you.

we decided to keep the old school vibe going with a trip to peter pan’s flight:

i think my favorite aspect of this ride is sitting in a brightly colored, shiny flying ship. there’s even a lady that sprinkles fairy dust over yr boat as you head into the ride!

next stop was the haunted mansion, which is totally the best “scary” ride cos it’s not really scary. which is how i LIKE IT. there’s no one grabbing you, and all of the effects are fake, so it’s got sort of a campy, vincent price feel. still, erica and i pretended to be scared, just for fun.

we went from chills to thrills on the big thunder mountain roller coaster, which is so awesome, we had to ride it twice (seriously, people, january = no lines. it’s almost too good to be true, except you still have to pay seven dollars for a beer, so you know it’s true).

i love that picture.

speaking of great pictures, LOOK AT THIS ONE!!!!

attention, disney: if you need to update yr brochures, you know who to call.

we decided to try out another 3D ride, this one entitled “stitch’s great escape.” i’ve never actually seen “lilo & stitch,” and maybe it’s a great movie, but let me tell you right now: THIS RIDE STUNK.

and i mean that LITERALLY. so the premise is that stitch is being teleported to this alien jail (i know, i didn’t really understand what was going on, either), and then he escapes and is running all around the room, so you hear sounds and the seats vibrate so it feels like he’s right next to you. that’s all fine and good except for this one little detail that i wish i had known before fastening my seat belt: stitch has really bad breath. and guess what? HE BURPS ON YOU.

AND IT IS TOTALLY DISGUSTING. like, i cannot believe disney actually created and tested and manufactured this scent. it is an assult on family decency.

fortunately for stitch, i’m a v. v. forgiving person. cos even though he BURPED IN MY FACE, when i saw him outside, i decided to give him an old school, little sarah style hug.

i am relieved to report to you that his breath in person is not really that bad. whew!

i wasn’t the only one getting some action: check out erica with buzz lightyear!!

i think i kinda won that round, though, cos hard plastic isn’t as cuddley as fur.

we decided to kick it old school again with a visit to the carousel of progress, which is a ride disney created for the world’s fair in, like, the 1950s.

basically, you sit in a theater that revolves around a stage, and the stage is sectioned off into the same scene (a family in a kitchen) but in different decades. so, you start out at the turn of the century, and the dad talks about all of these “new inventions” that you can roll yr eyes at cos at this point, you’re from “the future” and you’re like, “dude, just WAIT until america gets microwaves. just wait!!” and then it goes to the 1920s, and then the 40s, and then the 50s… and then (and this is the best part), it jumps straight to “today.” apparently, today’s families sit around and watch laser discs and play virtual reality games with their power gloves and talk to their ovens.

wow, i had no idea that i was so ahead of the curve. now where’s my hover board?

after emerging back into “today” (and really, as far as the carousel of progress is concerned, we are now in “the future”), i made erica take another cheesy disney pic for me. I COULDN’T HELP IT! there’s a CASTLE! and we were wearing MOUSE EARS! we had to!!!

oh man, i’m gonna have to buy, like, 20 new frames. esp. cos look how cute henri looks in this one!!

henri, i don’t understand why that’s not yr new facebook profile pic. seriously.

after burning so many calories with all of our strenuous ride-riding, it was vital that we stuff our faces with funnel cake. ladies and gentlemen, i proudly present to you my funnel cake face:

OMG I WANT TO RIP THAT OFF MY COMPUTER SCREEN AND EAT IT RIGHT NOW!!

fueled by all of that deep fried tastiness, we paid a visit to donald duck (he’s in frontier land, so obvs he has to blend in with the locals)…

… rode the classic “pirates of the caribbean” ride, which now features johnny depp, which is kiiiinda weird cos it’s obvious that they just tried to stick him in there to tie in with the movie but hello, animatronic johnny depp? i’m not gonna complain.

after the ride, we ran into some real life pirates!!!!!!!!

thankfully, henri has already walked the plank (at last year’s pirate boat party), so he wasn’t scared of captain hook at all.

so, as evidenced by the pirate ride, disney doesn’t really care about preserving the historical integrity of its rides. which can sometimes lead to major disasters like the tiki room, now “under new management,” i.e. they added in two birds from newish disney movies. which totally destroys the charming camp quality of the tiki room! booo!! unfortunately, the new management is not currently accepting comment cards.

fortunately, disney has NOT replaced the jungle cruise ride, even though they now have actual animals in the animal kingdom safari. not only do i love robotic animals, but our cruise director, doug, was seriously my all time favorite person in all of disney. even though he had a script he had to follow, he was actually FUNNY. and not, like, disney funny. REAL funny. henri wanted to hire him on the spot to work at the alamo, but alamo employees don’t get to ride things for free, so henri wasn’t sure if doug would go for it.

I LOVE YOU DOUG! you can be my cruise director anytime!

we couldn’t leave the park without riding the most classic disney ride of them all: the teacups!!!!

i love the teacups!! not only cos they spin, but you get to sit in a giant cup! and i like to think that means there might be giant cookies nearby.

about four seconds into the ride, erica realized that she, in fact, *hates* the teacups, thereby making this video totally awesome:

don’t worry, the ride stopped before erica booted or anything.

as we were leaving the park, guess who we saw!! GUESS GUESS GUESS!!

OMG we saw my old hug partners, chip and dale!!!!!!! it was like destiny!!!!!

not to sound conceited, but i think i’m still as good of a hugger as i was when i was a little poshlet.

seriously, that hug totally made my night. and then we went back to the african lodge where erica used to work, and the dinner we ate there made my LIFE!!!

the restaurant features an african buffet, so not only was it amazingly delicious, but i got to try some dishes i’d never tasted before! it was like, a culinary ride! THOSE ARE THE BEST! (sorry space mountain).

the buffet really was incredible. like, they had five kinds of soup! five! and henri tried all of them.

(that’s him on his fourth one, in case you can’t read his fingers)

and if you’re wondering, “sarah, what was the best part of the buffet?” you are obviously dead to me cos DUH IT WAS THE DESSERT!!!!

those little truffle-looking things are called zebra domes, and oh man, if i ever go on a real african safari, they will be my #1 target.

so yeah, it was a pretty. great. day. that disney ain’t messing around– the magic kingdom really is A MAGICAL PLACE!!

… you knew i was going to say that, didn’t you?

tomorrow: last disney pants post! eeeeeepcot!!!

LINKS

thanks to this site, you can now add bacon to any webpage. PAGING MEREDITH’S DREAM COME TRUE. plus, i’ve always wanted to say: “poshdeluxe: now with BACON!” and now i can! yay!

i haven’t had time to read all of it yet, but talena sent me a HILARIOUS article in time about how facebook is, like, so TMI.

dude! next time i’m in new york, i totally want to explore the brooklyn tunnel. soooo fascinating.

have you guys seen the new oasis video? i agree with vulture’s old school preference– music videos should tell a story (helloo, take on me!), and this one spins a good one.

j. sent me this video of cookie monster doing a little jay-z. which is awesome but also kinda freaked me out. cookie monster ain’t no gangsta!

OMG! i was just talking about candyland yesterday, and today i read that they’re going to make a candyland movie!!!!! tasty business! although the real question is: can they top the deliciousness of willie wonka’s factory?

… which might explain why babysqueekyshoes is my new favorite website.

although, after clicking on it, you’ll realize that i don’t need friday as an excuse- i would love this website ANY TIME IN MY LIFE. BECAUSE IT IS AMAZING.

it has babies!!! in squeaky shoes!! and (here’s the real pay dirt) IN SNOW SUITS.

seriously, this website will reduce yr brain to a melting puddle of squee (i’ll let you decide whether that’s a good or bad thing). in fact, i think i may have suffered brain damage from watching this video alone, appropriately titled “pink nightmare.”

the irony is that, while watching this care bear human mutant, i became extremely baby-like: drooling, blank wide-eyed stare, lack of ability to form words. thankfully, there was no pooping of the pants (GROSS).

in short, i have no explanation for this post except that it’s friday. and also, caitlin sent it to me. THANK YOU CAITLIN! let’s go find some babies and put them in snowsuits! and then eat some cheese fries! and then learn the single ladies dance just like little arianna! oh and maybe eat the cheese fries after that, not before.

whoah, i totally just made my plans for the weekend. score.

HAPPY WEEKEND PANTS WORLD! i hope you all find some squeaky babies!

LINKS

did you think i could actually write an entire post and not mention obama? FOOL! j. sent me this story of obama replacing bush, street art style.

speaking of le squee, check out these baby hedgehogs who were adopted by a cleaning brush! oh man, it’s gonna suck for that brush when those hedgehogs turn 13 (thanks for the link, trish!).

i think this is AWESOME, but if you gave it someone as a gift, would they be offended? maybe it’s more of a buy for yrself kind of thing.

what an incredible day!

what a magical and inspiring and long, long, long-awaited day!

my eyes are full of tears, and my heart is full of hope.

because this man is now our 44th president.

“We remain a young nation, but in the words of Scripture, the time has come to set aside childish things. The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free, and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness.”

today was the best day to be an american, ever. at least, so far! and isn’t it amazing to be able to add that “so far”?!!!

WHAT A FREAKING PARTY!!!!!!

matt wrote: “this feels a little bit like a wedding.” to which i responded, “like a wedding on CHRISTMAS!!!”

also, a v. cold wedding. but who cares about freezing temperatures when our nation is achieving such a magnificent milestone?!

i was actually impressed with how fantastic everyone looked in spite of the cold. and, i apologize in advance for this pun but COOLEST INAUGURATION CROWD EVER?!!

even though jay-z’s hat looks like the warmest thing ever, i have to say aretha wins for Most Overboard Hat. and also with the singing.

and the girls looked so colorful and beautiful!!!!! even the american girl dolls don’t get coats this nice:

and, of course, michelle looked AMAZING and so so so First Lady.

ok but obvs it wasn’t the FASHION that made me tear up constantly for thirty minutes.

* * *

Our challenges may be new. The instruments with which we meet them may be new. But those values upon which our success depends – hard work and honesty, courage and fair play, tolerance and curiosity, loyalty and patriotism – these things are old. These things are true. They have been the quiet force of progress throughout our history. What is demanded then is a return to these truths. What is required of us now is a new era of responsibility – a recognition, on the part of every American, that we have duties to ourselves, our nation, and the world, duties that we do not grudgingly accept but rather seize gladly, firm in the knowledge that there is nothing so satisfying to the spirit, so defining of our character, than giving our all to a difficult task.

This is the price and the promise of citizenship.

This is the source of our confidence – the knowledge that God calls on us to shape an uncertain destiny.

This is the meaning of our liberty and our creed – why men and women and children of every race and every faith can join in celebration across this magnificent mall, and why a man whose father less than sixty years ago might not have been served at a local restaurant can now stand before you to take a most sacred oath.

* * *

yes yes YES!

and i cried not because obama can actually speak in an articulate and dignified manner… nor was it the fact that he’s got good speechwriters. i cried because the people packed into the mall, the people glued to their television and computer screens… they BELIEVE in him. moreover, they believe in *themselves* to make these changes, to roll up their sleeves and get to WORK, because there is much to be done.

i cried because a miracle has happened; we believe in our country again.

and ok, there may have been a tear or two of sheer relief, as in I CANNOT BELIEVE WE SURIVIVED.

which is maaaaybe why this is my favorite picture from today:

KTHNXBAI!!!!!!!

no worries, mr. w. you’ve left the country in good, extremely capable, intelligent hands. now just try to lay low in texas and please for the love of all that is holy do not come near austin.

because there’s a new man in the white house. and he’s AWESOME!!!

plus he goes really well with babies.*

* poshdeluxe requirement

“In today’s sharp sparkle, this winter air, anything can be made, any sentence begun.

On the brink, on the brim, on the cusp — praise song for walking forward in that light.”

SAY AMEN!

p.s. now that i’ve gotten all of that squee out of my system, tell me what today means to you, pants world.

WELCOME TO THE 2008 POSHIES!!!!!

oh man, you guys, 2008 was pretty great. which also means it was really hard to determine the winners of this year’s poshies, cos there was so much awesomeness and tastiness and squee going on!

fortunately, i am totally judgey.

so, without further ado, let us commence with the highly coveted and almost always controversial POSHIE AWARDS! and, just like the oscars, we’ll build up to the evening’s most prestigious awards, including all categories of squee and ending with best celebrity baby.

oh, and *unlike* the oscars, this ceremony will NOT feature movie stars reading cue cards and cracking lame jokes. instead, the transitions and announements will be short and sweet! cos these poshies need to GO!

and, fitting, we will begin with…

MOST COVETED RED CARPET ENSEMBLE

winner: amber valletta’s shimmery goddess dress

you guys, i don’t even know who amber valletta is, except that IMDB tells me that she appeared in transporter 2 (props!). but this dress!! THIS DRESS!! this dress is the epitome of hollywood glamour, and i COVET.

honorable mention poshies go to:

linda evangelista (as you can see, i’m a fan of the glitz)

and heidi klum (i love the red! and the statuesque cut!)

BEST CELEBRITY SIGHTING

although there were several excellent nominees, including tim riggins on sixth street, the winner is a total no-brainer:

bill pullman!!!! my favorite fake president!!

there is no poshie category for it (yet), but that might have been my best night of 2008.

BEST NEW MUSICAL ARTIST

the winner of this poshie not only put out an insanely listenable album that i NEVER get tired of, but she also totally wowed me at sxsw. AND she had back-up dancers.

let’s hear it for santogold!

BEST TELEVISION SHOW

i pretty much spilled the beans on this one yesterday, but MAD MEN!!!

you know when the DVD of season 2 comes out, it’s gonna have a “WINNER OF THE POSHIE FOR BEST TV SHOW” sticker on the cover.

BEST MOVIE

in what is sure to be hailed as an extremely edgey and controversial choice, the poshie goes to…

STEP UP 2 THE STREETS

sorry, dark knight, but there was no dancing in yr movie.

and now comes the portion of the show where we take a moment to recognize the tragedies of the year, most specifically:

MOST TRAGIC CELEBRITY BREAK-UP

it’s so painful, i can barely bring myself to admit it… but (SOB)… this year, the poshie goes to:

rachel mcadams and ryan gosling GAAHHHHHH

SCROLL AWAY FROM THE PICTURE BEFORE YR TEAR DUCTS EXPLODE

moving on from film and into books…

MOST UN-PUTTABLE DOWN BOOK

i read a ton of great books this year, but this series completely enveloped me in a fantastical and apocalpytic land seething with gruesome darkness and unforgettable characters who filled me with hope. even the gorgeous beaches of mexico couldn’t tear my eyes away from these magical pages.

i’m speaking, of course, of the dark tower series by stephen king.

(once again, major thanks to meredith for the introduction!)

WORST BOOK EVER

this has got to be the least shocking poshie of the year:

i mean, A BABY WITH TEETH? a man in love with a toddler? i was 20 pages away from the end when i threw this book on the floor and TRIED TO PUNCH IT OUT OF MY HEAD.

and, on the opposite side of the quality spectrum…

BEST YA BOOK

this year’s nominees were so exceptional, it led to the first ever POSHIE TIE!

this book has it all: a totally smart and awesome heroine, hot private school boys and crazy pranks! seriously, i want to name my first child after frankie. and no i am not kidding.

this is one of those books that you close with a long, sweet sigh, because you can’t quite let go of it, and yet its beauty is so ethereal, you know you must. the story of “sweethearts” echoed in my head for days, and i think the name “cameron quick” will make my heart flutter for the rest of my life.

from food for the brain to food for the tummy…

BEST RESTAURANT

i ate at a TON of fantastic restaurants this year– uchi, wink, parkside, etc. but honestly, this was an easy decision. the 2008 poshie goes to…

magic island!!! duh!!!!!

i mean, those other places have incredible food, and magic island has crappy food. but do they have terrible magic shows? prom photographers? waiters who also server as yr valet? yeah, like i said, DUH.

BEST CUPCAKE

oh MAN this was a tough one. i sampled a ton of delicious cupcakes this year, and the winner was technically reviewed on the second day of 2009 BUT these cupcakes were made available in 2008. so, following the logic of the oscars, this nominee is totally eligible.

i’m speaking, of course, of sugar mama’s “odd couple”!!!

you better be honored, sugar mama’s, cos this is probably the most heavily weighed poshie.

ok, well, in addition to:

BEST MAC ‘N’ CHEESE

oh LORD this was hard. i mean, they say democracy is complicated and frustrating, but making this decision as the sole person in power? ROUGH! in the end, dictator pants had to go with her gut, and by that i mean, tummy.

the winner: wink

i know there’s going to be a backlash about this poshie, and i concede that parkside was THIS CLOSE to winning, but truffle oil, guys. TRUFFLE OIL.

BEST MUSEUM THAT DOES NOT EXIST

winner: the museum of baked goods

BEST PICTURE OF PANSTERS

ok, i have no idea why i created this category, cos it is IMPOSSIBLE TO DETERMINE ONE WINNER. seriously. impossible.

so i decided to give poshies to three photos, but i reserve the right to include more winners the next time i’m surfing through my flickr and realize that i TOTALLY forgot about the photos from that one party.

anyway, the winners are:

the lakehouse calendar shot

the fabulous ladies of SATC

extreme floating at the schlitterbahn

and now we’ve reached the portion of the ceremony where the stakes begin to get v. V. high.

we begin with:

MOST SQUEEABLE ANIMAL PICTURE

this poshie category almost exploded due to the numer of nominees on the table. and by poshie category i mean my head. but in the end, i had to go with the picture that combined the most factors of squee:

different animals being friends

tiny animals

animals that look like they’re having a conversation

animals with a cast

and the winner goes to…

A SQUIRREL BEING FRIENDS WITH A HEDGEHOG WHO HAS A TINY CAST!!!!

MOST SQUEEABLE BABY VIDEO

this one, surprisingly, was a snap. although it was released two years ago, i did not become aware of its existence until this year, and so even though i said the opposite for the cupcake category, my rules don’t have to make sense, cos I RULE THE POSHIES.

MOST SQUEEABLE CHILD VIDEO

yeah, see what i did there? i created TWO DISTINCT categories so that i could also include everyone’s favorite little french girl, capucine!!!!!

MOST SQUEEABLE ANIMAL VIDEO

ha ha! i did it AGAIN! cos if anyone deserves a poshie, it’s MONIFA THE TINY HIPPO!!!!!

we will now pause the ceremony so that everyone can watch that video for a second (and possibly third) time.

and now, finally, we arrive at our last poshie of the evening (DRAMATIC PAUSE):

BEST CELEBRITY BABY

well, i think you guys all saw this coming.

the winner: SURI CRUISE!!!!!!!

this category was SUCH a hot topic that i actually got an email about it from a concerned citizen, who i will call irish john:

Sarah,

I’m concerned this award is just a fix to make sure Suri is recognised.

We need to have competition for these awards to retain their integrity.

John

john, i couldn’t agree more! but trust me when i say that there was STIFF competition this year between the toddlers who were nominated:

violet affleck

matilda ledger

olive cohen

honestly, i don’t think we’ve ever seen a such a high caliber collection of nominees.

with that said, suri cruise basically achieved the perfect score:

eating cupakes: 10

fashion: 10

in fact, suri is SO widely admired, she’s gonna have her own SNL character! according to this article:

Casey Wilson does a fierce Rachael Ray impersonation, and now the “SNL” comedian is ready to tackle one more celeb: Suri Cruise. “I just have to give her a voice,” the “Bride Wars” co-writer tells us. “She’s got a lot to say, a lot of opinions. She’s very smart and she can wear that Burberry coat like no other.” She adds, “But I think I’m going to make her arrive in a spaceship.”

well, folks, that’s the end of our ceremony! meet me at the vanity fair after party so we can drink champers and look stunning together!

feel free to discuss the results in the comments, although claims of any kind of poshie “fixing” will be dismissed as utter foolishness.

LINKS

not only am i in love with these mosaics of celebrities, but i totally wish i was rich enough to have jason mecier make one of me! with, like, tiny fake food!

jezebel investigates the evolution of bret michael’s hair. and yes, it’s fascinating.

FOODS OF THE WEB. best website name ever. plus, convenient!

so thanks, calendar dudes!

last year, henri and i spent NYE in marfa with matt, robin and her friend, ellen. obviously, it was awesome. and v. artsy. however, i think this year’s celebration offered some improvements:

1. we stayed in a place with heat

2. there were no ghosts (ok, that’s probably more of a con than a pro)

3. we actually knew the person throwing the party (henri)

4. i hung out with even MORE people that i love

5. i still got to see matt, but it was the 08 version of matt, who is .02% better (or more) than 07 matt.

6. there was crazy dancing

7. there was even crazier confetti!

our evening began with a DELICIOUS dinner at parkside. unfortunately, the lighting wasn’t that great for food pictures, so you’ll have to trust me when i say that my last meal of 2008 was one of my best. i mean, you can’t end a year with bad food. that’s like, guaranteeing a future of mcribs or something.

everyone was dressed to the nines!!

here’s 08 (almost 09) matt with heather, his lovely date:

i haven’t seen robin since marfa, and i realized that from now on, she HAS to be there for NYE. otherwise it won’t feel as chic and fabulous.

and guess who was sitting to my right?! YOU’LL NEVER GUESS!! ok, no, it wasn’t keri russell. but it was someone just as cool.

OLIVIA!!

yes, olivia! who lives in london! just like matt! which led me to pretend that i had some sort of teleportation device at my disposal. i can’t wait to use it again!!

i hadn’t seen olivia in four years, and yet it felt perfectly natural that she would be sitting next to me at parkside, looking beautiful and giggling.

the OTHER bonus is that we requested skyler, our favorite server, who you may remember as the nerd on halloween. WE LOVE SKYLER! and she’s so pretty without those coke bottle glasses, just like rachel leigh cook in “she’s all that”!

after our tasty business, we crossed the street for the main event of the night: henri’s rockin new year’s eve!!

no really, that was the actual title of the show. because henri can.

more of my favorite people were waiting for me inside the ritz, like john and his lady, jen!

doesn’t john look positively REGAL?

we were also joined by MSW and brian!

and, how could i enjoy a sing-along without trish, chris and their fabulous entourage?!

if there had been any more of pants world in the theater, i probably would have exploded. which would be a tragic waste of a good dinner.

olivia and her bf, david, had obviously never been to a sing-along, so they had NO idea what to expect. in fact, i think they were a little nervous.

never fear, olivia and david! soon we’ll all be singing like divas with beyonce and rapping with coolio and dancing in a v. awkward, crazed fashion on a ten foot stage! that’s nothing to be afraid of, right? eh…

thankfully, there were pros available to show the newbies HOW IT’S DONE.

i cannot express how happy i was to have matt back at a sing-along. no one belts it out like matt. no really. look at this picture.

if someone asks me, “sarah, how was yr new year’s?” i’ll just show them this picture. that’s all i need.

well, that’s all i *need* but i LOVE pictures so here are some more!!

note that the air is smokey from, like, a bazillion confetti cannons. and also from the flashpots that henri filled with “sonic boom” powder that shattered my eardrums and caused the entire audience to believe that we were under attack. nothing like the fear of death to make you appreciate a new year!

like i said, smoky, but look at all of that glitz in the crowd! it totally felt like Singalong Goes To Prom, cos everyone cleaned up so well!

y’all, we got up to some SHENANI-DANCING.

matt and robin have definitely got the groove gene going on in their family.

ditto for olivia and her sister, marisa!

i like olivia’s “invisible microphone” technique, obvs perfected after years of slumber party lip synching.

it was SUCH a fabulous feeling to dance and sing the night away surrounded by so many good friends. like, people say that it’s a good idea to reflect on the year past and think about what you’ve learned, and i didn’t even have to close my eyes and imagine it– my blessings were all around me!

and by blessings i mean CHAMPERS!

after the show, we all headed back to henri’s condo for a classy high rise party. it was obviously THE place to be–  just look at these gorgeous ladies!

it was such a fun, jubilant night, and i’m pretty sure i said “I LOVE YOU GUYS” about a hundred times (conservative estimate).

ok, so as covered above, obviously you need to start a new year with:

friends

dancing

confetti

champers

but there’s something v. important missing from that list… ok, well, a baby or puppy would be good, but what’s even MORE vital?

YOU KNOW THE ANSWER IS CUPCAKES!!

therefore, it was of UTMOST importance that olivia and i, on the second day of the new year, visit sugar mama’s, a cupcake place on south first that will henceforth be known as THE BEST CUPCAKE PLACE IN AUSTIN (cue trumpets and naysaying yelpers).

i mean LOOK at these beauties:

the one on the left is the “southern belle”: red velvet with cream cheese frosting. and the one on the right is the “odd couple,” chocolate with salted caramel cream cheese frosting OMGGGGG.

i couldn’t ask for a better First Cupcake of 2009, not only because of the deliciousness but most especially because of the company.

it felt positively *luxurious* to sit across from this darling lady and just talk talk TALK about important things, silly things, girlie things, whatever we wanted!!! cos we were together! in the same room! being friends!

yeah, it was pretty great.

oh 2009, we just met and you’re already sweeping me off my feet!

LINKS

AUUUGHHHHH

check out this new *eco-friendly* typeface!! <– way easier than recycling (although of course you should still do it)

those different animals just won’t quite making new friends! today, check out an elephant who helped a dog start walking again! GAH the squee!

did everyone have a nice holiday? tell me tell me tell me!!!

well, i have to admit, it was lovely to be offline for the last two weeks, esp. cos i’ve got lots of stories built up to share with you. most of them revolve around pantsers and food… which i guess isn’t really different than my usual entries. but anyway!

i spent the first half of my break at home in round rock with my parents and my uncle scott. it was total suburban bliss– i stayed in my jim jams til ten, shopped with my mom, read comics and went to sleep before midnight. OFF THE CHAIN!

the big news on the homefront is that my dad got a GIANT UNIVERSAL REMOTE which is going to CHANGE HIS LIFE.

note that he is throwing away three annoyingly tiny remotes because THEY ARE DEAD TO HIM.

seriously, though, that is a real remote. i didn’t believe it at first. and now i kind of want one. just so i can wave it around and pretend to switch off, say, people or whatever.

not only was my dad a v. happy camper, he has also learned (after much training) how to pose for my blog. thanks, dad!

another highlight of our wild and free holiday was an extremely intense game of scrabble. granted, it was no greenhouse yahtzee, but there were still some twists and turns, including my dad TOTALLY CHEATING WITH A DICTIONARY. cheaters never prosper, dad! cos guess who emerged as the ULTIMATE VICTOR? watch this video (edited by henri, thank you!) and find out!!!

here’s a shot of our finished game, which i realize doesn’t look *that* impressive. but i totally scored, like, 39 points with “jelly.” it’s on video, suckers!

my dad, being an engineer, kept a meticulous record of the score. LOOK AT ALL OF MY TALLY POINTS!!!!

sorry dad. i wish you could change it all with yr new remote but you can’t.

christmas day was, of course, fabulous, because there are PRESENTS! AND TASTY BUSINESS!

scott was totally stoked over his longhorn shirt.

mom and dad have been married for so long, they accidentally gave each other THE SAME KIND OF LOTION. it’s like the gift of the bath & body works magi!!!

i got really excited about this *massive* xmas bag with my name on it!!!

it was full of new towels!!! which i realize doesn’t sound v. thrilling but in actuality, i really need them. getting older and boring is awesome!

the gift that most surprised me was not one, but TWO dance cards!!!! i’ve probably mentioned this on PD before, but i’ve been collecting them since i was a gilbert blythe-smitten high school girl… not to the point of, say, ebay mania, but more like, discovering one in an antique store once every two years. these new additions were particularly exciting cos they BOTH came with their original pencils!

i also received two YA books i requested, which i immediately began reading even though there were other people present. my mom actually had to tell me to put the book down, just like the old days! la la la!

after prezzies, it was time to make our christmas dinner! my contribution this year was, hold the phone, MAC ‘N’ CHEESE! i decided to follow the example set by miss amber o. and use the recipe in amy sedaris’ hostessing book. y’all, this woman KNOWS her tasty business.

i mean, LOOK AT THIS. LOOK. AT. THIS.

honestly, you could stop right there and i would be happy. but, you know, the macaroni is in the name, so people would notice if i left it out.

the finished result was of course DELICIOUS!!!!!! SWEET FANCY MOSES I WANT TO EAT MORE RIGHT NOW!!

it’s safe to say that a new pitre holiday tradition has been created, mostly likely followed by family obesity. yay!

after the *insanity* of christmas day, we returned to our relaxed schedule of movies (i liked “benjamin button” but wish i could sue adam sandler for 1.5 hours of MY LIFE BACK STUPID BEDTIME STORIES), eating, reading and shopping.

during the latter, i made a STARTLLING discovery that i just *had* to share with you guys.

no really, you will not believe this. esp. if you were a junior high girl in the early 90s.

5-7-9 IS STILL OPEN!!!

I KNOW!!!!!!! I COULD NOT BELIEVE IT!!

ufortunately, they no longer carry oversized bejeweled t-shirts with brightly colored leggings. JUST KIDDING! YES THEY DO!

it’s good to know that my seventh grade outfits are finally, FINALLY cool like i knew they would be. eventually.

so now it’s yr turn! i want zany family stories! favorite presents! the works!

LINKS

check out the humble beginnings of all of yr favorite sesame street characters. does miss piggy know that this info is public?!

if you’re looking for some good YA (as i always am), check out this exceptional list from not yr mother’s book club. i’ve read about half of them already, so i can say with confidence that this represents the best of 2008.

cakespy posted their top 25 sweet moments of 2008, and i think i just ate my hand off. no seriously.

another squeeable installment of different animals being friends: a bassett hound and an owl!!!! p.s. beryl = best name ever.

i saw this on the news right before christmas and was immediately SO SAD that i don’t travel via the houston airport anymore. AIRPORT KARAOKE WAVE OF THE FUTURE!!!!

randy sent me this fantastic list of top ten worst media moments of 2008. and then i realized that i am not so sad to see 2008 go.

thanks to john for sending me this ridiculous movie, which i am only posting due to its brilliant name: attack of the killer pants!!

thanks to a fabulous suggestion from katie, i will be summing up 2008 by giving out POSHIES to all of my favorite things.

but i need yr help!

although i already have some clear winners in mind, i would love to get yr suggestions for both categories and/or nominees.

here are some examples to give you an idea of the tremendous scope of the poshies:

best celebrity baby

best cupcake

most coveted celebrity outfit

most tragic celebrity break-up

most squeeable animal picture

best picture of pantsers

best celebrity sighting

best mac ‘n’ cheese

most squeeable video

and, just so you know, there’s a LOT at stake here– not only do the winners receive eternal glory on this esteemed blog, but they also win the incredibly sparkly POSHIE cupcake!

that is WAY better than the oscar statuette, y’all.

so please leave yr category/nominee suggestions in the comments!

LET THE POSHIE RACE BEGIN!

i hope you didn’t have any scary run-ins with santa last night.

yeah, you gotta watch out for that guy.

but if you did have the misfortune of running into him, i hope you followed my life-long mantra: take the candy and run.

even when i was one, i  had an instinct for the quickest route to tastiness.

i also hope that you’ve had an absolutely marvelous day filled with magic, tasty business and lots of squee. you know this already but I LOVE YOU GUYS!

now excuse me, i need to make sure i didn’t miss any presents in the bottom of my stocking.