i’m actually still reading it, because apparently i have to actually *work* at my job (WHAT?), so i’m not here to spoil it for those of you who have not yet picked up the books I MEAN SERIOUSLY YOU HAVEN’T READ THEM YET AND WE’RE STILL FRIENDS?!

so in lieu of a post, i’m directing you to an entry i just published on FYA about the super fierce midnight release party we held in the bookpeople parking lot. even if you have no idea what the hunger games are (I MEAN HONESTLY?!!), i have the feeling that anyone can appreciate a party involving champ cans, cupcakes and nerf weaponry.

esp. trish.

TEAM PEETA 4 LIFE!

GOOD AFTERNOON, BOOK CLUB PANTSERS!

let me begin by saying that today’s meeting is not for the faint of heart. so, if you came here to talk about amish romance novels, you might want to skip out on this one (but OMG PLEASE COME BACK so i can hear all about the hot bonnet action).

i just finished reading two fantastic books, and when i sat down to convene this meeting, i realized that they’re both about… death.

yay!

so, throw on yr best funeral garb and let’s get to it!

there’s something about summer that makes me ACHE for a good mystery. maybe it’s the memory of countless nights in junior high when i stayed up far too late, scaring myself silly with agatha christie (seriously, ten little indians? STILL gives me nightmares). or maybe it’s the desire, arising out of far too many lazy saturdays by the pool, to actually Do Something Important. you know, like catch a murderer!

alan bradley’s debut novel, “the sweetness at the bottom of the pie,” was EXACTLY the kind of satisfying, clever mystery i was hoping it would be, and MUCH more. and no, it’s not just cos the word “pie” is in the title (yeah, ok, it helps).

the best way i can describe this book is that it’s… eccentric. and i mean that in a totally charming, absolutely bewitching way. set in 1950, the story is narrated by eleven-year-old flavia, who lives in a huge house with her widowed father and her two older, tyrannical sisters (ophelia and daphne). flavia is ridiculously precocious, and her main passion in life is chemistry. i know, that’s crazytown, but bradley fleshes out flavia so fully, so masterfully, that i totally wanted her to invite me into her fancy pants lab so we could make poison together (and y’all, i *hated* chemistry in HS, so that’s saying a lot. plus, poison?! scary!). flavia basically lives for two things: 1) chemistry 2) tormenting her sisters with chemistry (she brews up a poison ivy concentrate and puts it in ophelia’s lipstick). in other words, she is hardcore. you do NOT want to eff with flavia.

however, her priorities quickly shift from torturing her sisters to detective work after she discovers a dead body in the garden and begins to untangle her father’s mysterious history. ooooOOOOhhhh!!!! and i shall SAY NO MORE except that things get REALLY REALLY twisty turny and terribly intriguing.

my favorite aspect of the book is flavia, straight up. her voice is so unique, so hilarious, so eleven-going-on-seventy.

here are a few of my favorite examples:

“Back in my room I paced up and down for a while, as I often do when I’m thwarted.”

“So that was it. As at a birth, so at a death. Without so much as a kiss-me-quick-and-mind-the-marmalade, the only female in sight is enlisted to trot off and see that the water is boiled. Rustle up something, indeed! What did he take me for, some kind of cowboy?”

[note: i am totally inserting "kiss-me-quick-and-mind-the-marmalade" into my everyday vocabulary]

“I hated Mrs. Mullet’s seed biscuits the way Saint Paul hated sin. Perhaps even more so. I wanted to clamber up onto the table, and with a sausage on the end of a fork as my scepter, shout in my best Laurence Olivier voice, ‘Will no one rid us of this turbulent pastry cook?’”

WILL NO ONE RID US OF THIS TURBULENT PASTRY COOK?!! obvs, flavia and i totally have the same priorities when it comes to baked goods.

this book is utterly fantastic, and i’ve heard that bradley is making it into a series, which is the most delightful news cos i can’t wait to spend more time with flavia! in fact, i’m so enamored of her, i named my new bike (yay!) after her bike in the book: gladys (actually, the full name of my bike is gladys p. raptor cos it says “raptor” on it in pink, and the p. stands for princess cos my dad kept calling it princess raptor. anyway!).

like i always say: read it. i KNOW you’ll love it.

now that we’ve covered poison and murder, let’s move into… ZOMBIES!!!!!

ok, i admit, when i first heard about this book, i was kinda like… really?

i mean, i have nothing against zombies (unless they’re trying to eat my brains. then i have a problem), but i was worried that this revamped version of jane austen’s MOST BELOVED BY SARAH PANTS CLASSIC would mostly just poke fun at THE ROMANCE I HOLD MOST SACRED.

so yeah, the stakes? they were high. but after hearing a few positive reviews from some friends (oh yeah, and waiting on the library hold list for FOREVS– did you know the list goes up to #96? it does), i decided to take the plunge into austen zombieland.

y’all THIS BOOK IS SO FUN!!!!! i mean, it’s ridiculous, obvs, but i had a blast reading it. ironically, i realized that the more familiar you are with the original book, the more you’ll enjoy this walking dead version. if you haven’t read P&P, i imagine you might tire of the whole zombie schtick about halfway through the book. but if you know EVERY LINE BY HEART like some people (ahem), you’ll be v. entertained by the slight twist in the dialogue and, moreover, the plot (i don’t want to post any spoilers here but some AWESOME BLOODBATH SHIZZ GOES DOWN).

seth grahame-smith did a pretty great job of sliding in the zombie references without disturbing the elegant tone of the book, with a few exceptions that were ridiculously outlandish (and therefore highly enjoyable).

here’s an example:

[after the bennet girls have listened to mr. collins go on and on about lady catherine de bourge]

To the girls, who could not listen to their cousin without taking a silent inventory of the countless ways they could kill him, the interval of waiting appeared very long. It was over at last, however. The gentlemen did approach, and when Mr. Wickham walked into the room, Elizabeth felt as if she had just been stunned by a devastating roundhouse kick.

um… YES?!!!

instead of feeling offended by this reinterpretation of my fave book of all time, i found myself endlessly entertained by the transformation of passages i know LIKE THE PALM OF MY HAND into violence, mayhem and encounters with the unmentionables (also known by other charming names like satan’s legions and spawn of hell).

in case i haven’t yet convinced you (zombies? romance? darcy? come ON), here’s one of my all time favorite passages (the first of several confrontations between elizabeth and lady catherine):

lady catherine: Mr. Collins tells me that you are schooled in the deadly arts, Miss Bennet.

elizabeth bennet: I am, though not to half the level of proficiency as your Ladyship has attained.

lc: Oh! Then– some time or other I shall be happy to see you spar with one of my ninjas. Are your sisters likewise trained?

eb: They are.

lc: I assume you were schooled in Japan?

eb: No, your ladyship. In China.

lc: China? Are those monks still selling their clumsy kung fu to the English? I take it you mean Shaolin?

eb: Yes, your ladyship; under Master Liu.

lc: Well, I supposed you had no opportunity. Had your father more means, he should have taken you to Kyoto.

eb: My mother would have had no objections, but my father hates Japan.

lc: Have your ninjas left you?

eb: We never had any ninjas.

lc: No ninjas! How is that possible? Five daughters brought up at home without any ninjas! I never heard of such a thing.

UM HOLLA!!!! zombies, romance, mr. darcy and NINJAS?!!!!! i have the feeling that jane austen’s ghost just did a roundhouse kick of joy.

i give pride & prejudice & zombies three and half lethal warrior pants!!!!

now what about you guys? it’s club time! share!

LINKS

aerogel is officially the coolest substance i have ever seen. like, even more than brownie batter.

this video made me giggle hysterically, especially at the DOOKIE! moment.

vulture interviews smash! it’s like cabo in my pants!!

it gives me great pleasure and lots of !!!!! to introduce you to a brand new site that will CHANGE YR LIFE!!

ok, well, maybe “change yr life” is a bit of an exaggeration but i am not lying when i say IT IS AWESOME! especially if you like to read! books for teens! that are good!

man i really wish i had the money and time to invite y’all to a fancy pants gala with mini-quiches and a chocolate fountain and champers so i could give this site the introduction into society it deserves!

but… i don’t. SO just pretend like you’re wearing a totally swank outfit and nibbling on baked brie while you watch me (wearing vintage chanel, obvs) pull a red velvet blanket off of a computer to unveil…

FOREVER YOUNG ADULT!

EEEE I’M SO EXCITED I ALMOST SNORTED CHAMPERS UP MY NOSE ACCIDENTALLY!

basically, i created “forever young adult” (i know, i’m clever, right? RIGHT? or does it just remind you of a cheap but fabulous clothing store?) for two types of people: 1) people who love reading YA lit 2) people who love reading YA lit but *don’t know it yet* cos there’s too much crap floating around, not to mention the common misconception that books for teens “aren’t real literature.” basically, i want this blog to be a place where i can rave about my favorite books, rant against heinous atrocities (ahemtwilightahem) and go blah blah blah and !!!! with other like-minded pansters. you can read more about my motivation here.

the best part? i’m not doing this alone! i’ve recruited (lured?) erin and jenny, two lovely ladies who also happen to enjoy gabbing about peeta vs. gale and the RIGHT kind of vampire, to join me as contributors on FYA! you can read more about all of us (and see our totally sweet profile pics) here.

now, i realize that there’s a TON of book review sites out there, and you may be all, “but SARAH, my google reader is SO maxed out already! GAH!” let me assure you that, if you like to read, period, this site is gonna be worth yr time. first of all, our standards for grading books are V. high, so we will not lead you astray with our recommendations. second, in spite of my lack of capitalization and overuse of “OMG!” etc., i am an actual adult, as are erin and jenny, so we’re not gonna be dishing out any disney channel type shizz here (although obvs sweet valley high has its rightful place in YA history). third, and most importantly, we don’t take ourselves seriously, so this site is really just gonna be about us entertaining ourselves and, hopefully, YOU.

we’re just getting started, of course, but you can already see a sampling of the kind of stuff we’ll be doing– book reports, news items (everything from school reading curriculum to whether or not the “hunger games” movie is gonna get made) and, of course, LOTS of rants and what i would affectionately call “slumber party talk.”

the pants world opinion obvs matters a LOT to me, so i hope you’ll check it out and let me know what you think (i.e. leave me comments cos I LOVE COMMENTS YOU GUYS).

and, in case you were worried, poshdeluxe will remain alive and kicking, cos i believe in treating all of my children equally.

c’mon, posh d., let’s get you a big sister t-shirt and an ice cream!

LINKS

this video is the best thing i’ve seen in weeks. also i really hope that kid gets his own reality show.

puppies dressed as cats!!!!!

dear book club members:

i have some shocking news for you.

seriously, prepare yrselves. grab a cookie and sit down.

today’s review… IS NOT YOUNG ADULT FICTION.

I KNOW, i know!!!!!! even the library was confused!! it was all, “wait, we only put YA books on hold for sarah… WHAT IS THIS? some kind of MISTAKE?!!”

well, library, i can tell you EXACTLY what this is. THIS is a super magical, brain-tingling, ADULT book:

first of all, i wanna give major pants to meredith, for recommending “ghost in love” at our last meeting. thanks for sharing the book love, lady!

so, it’s kind of hard to explain this book, not cos i’ll get too spoilery (don’t worry, i hate giving too many spoilers in a review) but cos it’s just… well, it’s kind of a weird book. but in the most utterly delightful way! basically, the main character, ben, falls and hits his head in what was supposed to be a fatal accident. BUT he doesn’t die. so, the angel of death sends ben’s ghost, ling (ghosts have chinese names, cos that’s where ghosts were invented), to earth in order to watch over him and basically see what happens. cos apparently this has never happened before, and the “natural order of things” is like totally EFFED UP.

the story centers on ben’s struggle to deal with the increasing weirdness surrounding his life, not to mention the strained relationship with the woman he loves, german (that’s her name, and yes, she is fantastic) and his surprising friendship with the coolest dog ever, pilot.

this is the kind of book where every other page makes yr brain go like this: “?!!!!!!!?… awesome.” jonathan carroll has no qualms about making a TON of random stuff up and then completing shifting the picture the minute you think you’ve figured it out. there were a few times when his whimsicality got a little too ridiculous in my opinion (like, ridiculousness for the sake of ridiculousness, which only works if there are dance parties and champers involved) but even when that happened, he wrapped it up in beautiful language that made it not only palatable but absolutely delicious.

for example:

“Like a spider web that you walk into, it is not so easy to get all the tendrils of real love off after you have passed through it.”

his imagination, paired with a sweet yet masterful grip on the art of description, birthed so many lovely, strange and fantastical concepts that i kept hoping, in the back of my head, that maybe they were real, after all.

* * *

When any current moment is over, it immediately begins to lose all shape and color. Like a fish pulled out of water and left to die on land, its colors pale and it flops helplessly around until its life energy ebbs beyond a certain point and it dies. However, there are some moments that refuse to die. As they weaken, they stumble and lurch through the now, wreaking havoc. Colliding with lives and events, they leave their mark, aroma, their scales, on everything they touch.

Human beings cannot see or sense these rebellious pieces of dying time, but again, animals can. They try to avoid them because they know any moment other than the present is at best a distraction and, at worse, treacherous.

* * *

in particular, one scene from the book keeps waltzing around in my brain. danielle (another main character) goes to a bbq picnic and realizes that everyone there is a past version of herself– like, there’s a six-year-old danielle with food all over her face and a 17-year-old danielle with her nose in a book. there’s even a ten-minutes-ago danielle who encourages “now” danielle to ask her past selves questions:

“Don’t you want to remember who you were? Or what it was like back then? Don’t you want to remember details you forgot? It’s your life: Don’t you think it could help you now?”

spurred on by this advice, “now” danielle proceeds to visit with each version of her self, asking questions like, “what did you dream about last night?” and “how was yr date with dexter?” through this process, she realizes how much she’s forgotten– not just memories, really, but how much of *herself* she has lost with age.

of course, i couldn’t read this scene without wondering what it would be like to have a picnic with all of the past sarahs. first of all, i can tell you right now that there would be NO DESSERT LEFT. seriously, though, it’s made me think a lot about faded moments that i wish were sharp and clear. so, i made a list of questions i’d like to ask at my pinic with the selves:

to my four-year-old self: what did you get for christmas?!!

to my six-year-old self: draw me a picture of yr dreams for the future.

to my seven-year-old self: you just got biscuit, yr new dog! tell me all about her!!!

to my ten-year-old self: what’s it like to sleep over at nana and pawpaw’s house?

to my 13-year-old self: how was the pigbutt banquet at ms. marek’s house?!!

to my 16-year-old self: what were yr favorite moments at the duke young writer’s camp?

to my 18-year-old self: you just asked jeff to the prom and he said YES! how did you get up the nerve?!! what was it like?!

to my 22-year-old self: you just got back from yr graduation dinner at the melting pot with the powersuite girls. what did you talk about?!

to my 22-year-old summer self: last night you went to a party with ellen after the spoon show. TELL ME EVERY DETAIL!!!

to my pushing 26-year-old self: how was paris?

obviously, when a book makes you reflect this much, this deeply, you know it’s worth the read. i give it three and a half pants!!

and now, book club members, i have to inquire: what would YOU ask yr past selves?

LINKS

as we all know, michael jackson’s memorial service took place today, and who better to memorialize him then youtube commenters debating about the existence of his ghost? oh, wait, you know what’s an even BETTER tribute? his face on a tree trunk (no seriously. scroll down).

squee of the day: BABY HEDGEHOG!! GET IN MY HAND!!!

i am experiencing some serious WANT after viewing this slide show from the latest dior couture show. i don’t care what YGM says– these hats are NO mistake.

if you haven’t seen the new documentary on britney spears fans (uh, amazing), here’s a great collection of highlights. my favorite part? the coasters.

the trailer for “big fan” is out and dang, it looks dark. i never thought i could say that about a movie starring patton oswalt but… yowzas.

as mentioned previously on le blog, the austin public library has become my own personal crack den this summer. you guys, i’m like a whirling dervish of reading!!! which does not make sense cos reading requires you to sit still!!!! that is how crazy fiendish i have become!!!!! like i can’t even talk about it without using copious amounts of !!!!!!!

except ha ha i do that all of the time anyway.

let’s just say that, at this point, even levar burton would be a little afraid of me.

consquently, i have a TON of books to share with you guys, although i’ll spare you the ones that i really didn’t enjoy, cos a) i can’t use v. many !!! in bad reviews, except for the time i wrote about the “twilight” series and b) i have better things to do with my time, like READ MORE BOOKS.

and YES, there is actually a GROWN-UP BOOK on this list. be amazed, be amazed.

and so, without further ado, i call today’s meeting of the poshdeluxe club to order!! ordery order order!

some of you guys have probably read this book, cos as you can see by the pink sticker, it’s a national bestseller. and you know why? cos it has THE MOST BEAUTIFUL COVER I HAVE EVER SEEN.

seriously, major pants for that cover alone. note to publishers: i am a sucker for pie, also.

obvs i picked it up cos of the delectably melted ice cream (with sprinkles!), and i was happy to discover that what’s inside is actually just as good as a tasty sundae (high praise indeed!). basically, this book centers around three women: a mother (janice) and her two daughters, margaret (20something) and lizzie (teenager) as they deal with the sudden departure of paul, the husband/father. paul just made a shizzload of money in the stock market, and he’s decided to take it all and start a new life with janice’s best friend, beverly. obvs, he is a jackhole. janice immediately slides into a v. v. bad drug habit (this part of the book made me squirm almost as much as “requiem for a dream” minus the nightmarish ending), while margaret tries to deal with the mountains of debt she’s piled up as a consquence of trying to publish her own magazine out in LA. lizzie, poor thing, was already having problems with popularity in high school, esp. given the route she chose (here’s a hint: her name is on the boy’s bathroom wall).

i think what i loved most about this book is the believable and completely relatable perspectives offered by these three women. when you read about lizzie’s high school anguish, yr heart will whisper, “it gets better!” when you watch margaret slowly lose her idealism as everyone else around her succeeds, you’ll shake yr head and say, “gah, that was SO my 20s.” when you start to understand janice’s need for absolute control, you’ll probably make a mental note: “never, ever, EVER buy meth from the pool boy.”

janelle brown has written a funny, dark and absolutely compelling novel that will leave you emotionally exhausted… and triumphant. oh yeah, i totally pumped my fist in the air while reading SEVERAL TIMES.

ok, that’s enough with the grown-up stuff. let’s move on to the YA, shall we!

i read “perfect fifths” a little while ago, but i never got around to reviewing it, which is ridiculous because I LOVE THIS SERIES SO MUCH. beginning with “sloppy firsts,” megan mccafferty created my favorite YA heroine of all time (no, seriously), jessica darling. JESSICA DARLING, I WANT TO WEAR A T-SHIRT WITH YR NAME ON IT. that’s how much i love you.

and, it just so happens that mccafferty ALSO created my possibly #1 YA crush of all time, marcus flutie. OH MARCUS FLUTIE YOU DRIVE ME TO DISTRACTION.

i wish i actually owned these books so i could force them onto anyone in my near vicinity. here’s why this series is perfect:

1) the dialogue is totally believable and made me laugh out loud, like, a lot.

2) the series spans from high school into jessica’s mid 20s, and the character development is pitch perfect. as i went through the books (at break neck speed), i felt like i truly got to know jessica, marcus and the other characters. like, i’ve had several moments where i’ve thought, “i need to text jessica about this!” and yes, i realize this is a sign of mental illness.

3) the third and fourth books were, honestly, hard to read. but i *liked* that, because while yr early 20s can be super fun and crazy, they can also be really hard and confusing and just, well, the suck.

4) did i mention that marcus flutie is like the hottest thing ever?

5) one of the characters, sara, uses quote fingers (and says “quote” and “unquote”) just like the girl in “say anything.” anytime sara graced a page, i laughed super hard.

anway, READ THESE BOOKS. AND THEN CALL ME so we can gush about jessica and marcus like the real people they are. i mean, in my head.

to quoth the great kathleen kelly, “read it. i *know* you’ll love it.”

+++++++++++++!!!!!

ok ok i’ll make these last two short so that other club members have time to give their own recs!!

john green is my second favorite male YA author (after frank portman), and i think this is my favorite book of his so far.

colin is a child prodigy who has just graduated from high school and realized that he may never actually make it to genius (i.e.  discovering something cool) status. he’s also just been dumped by katherine, known as k-19 cos he’s dated 18 other katherines. seriously. in an effort to shake off colin’s depression, his best friend hassan (LOVE!) takes him on a road trip, which leads them to a month-long detour in the town of gunshot, tennessee. lots of redneck adventures ensue, while colin works on creating a theorem that will predict the outcome of any and all romantic relationships.

yeah, this book is awesome. there’s crazy math (explained in the appendix!), lots of arabic (hassan is muslim, and he and colin pepper their convos with arabic slang), weird and fascinating footnotes (i went “whoah!” a lot) and a BOATLOAD of anagrams. plus, it’s just a really great coming of age story. huzzah!

ok, lastly, i’m finishing the third book in the uglies series:

i’m sorry to say that “the hunger games” has pretty much blown the pants off of all other books about distopias, ever. still, the uglies series is a fun read, and i love the premise: basically, it’s the future, and when you turn 16, you have an operation that turns you from an ugly (a normal person) into a pretty (a supermodel). since everyone looks alike, no one feels left out, and the world lives in harmony. ha ha, right. things go to pieces the minute tally youngblood, our young heroine, steps onto the scene and becomes involved with a revolution against the pretty surgeries (and, consequently, the government itself).

these books are WAY better written that twilight, but there’s definitely some emotional complexity missing, at least for me. the adventures are fun and a bit breathtaking, and the futuristic gizmos are totally sweet (hoverboards, anyone?!!), but some of the relationships develop either way too fast or in a stilted, unnatural fashion. there were definitely a few EYE ROLL moments for me, but overall, it’s an enjoyable series that giddily explores the topic of evolution and the value (both real and superficial) of our apperances.

whew! ok i’m done, i swear.

i know i took forever but please don’t leave the meeting without sharing!!! have mercy on a poor, cracked out addict!

what are you guys reading? gimme the good stuff!!!

LINKS

you guys, i need to start prepping my tear ducts NOW cos the film version of “the time traveler’s wife” is finally coming out and THE TRAILER ALONE JUST SLAYED ME.

dear pantsers in san francisco: please go to the new wayne thiebaud show and bring me back something pretty!!!!!

i tweeted this site last week but CUTEST BLOG IN THE WHOLE WORLD EVER: my milk toof!!!!!

in light of our recent discussion on the 2009 song of the summer, j. sent me this v. v. helpful quiz.

if you haven’t seen it yet, sarah haskins’ new video is, quite possibly, her best yet. the swanson broth bit made me laaaaugh.

have you guys heard of this new kids’ show, “destroy build destroy“? uh, this might possibly kick the pants out of “sesame street.”

worst anti-drug movie ever.

WHAT’S UP READING CLUB!!!!!

i know, i know, we haven’t had a real meeting in aaaages. and i didn’t even bring refreshments this time. but don’t worry, levar, i’ve still been reading plenty! and, since i was sick over the weekend, i managed to whiz through three YA (young adult, y’all) books that were all QUITE exceptional. seriously, reading really IS the best medicine (besides painkillers, obvs) cos i’m totally better and REALLY EXCITED TO SHARE THESE BOOKS WITH YR PANTS!

so, you know that feeling you get, after reading a totally amazing and incredible book? i’ve decided to give it a name: TEABS. it stands for The End of an Amazing Book Syndrome. here are the symptoms so we, as a book club, can be vigilant:

1. after finishing the final sentence, you stare at the last page for at least two minutes. an irregular heartbeat and shortness of breath are common side effects during this stage.

2. you immediately flip back to all of yr favorite parts and furiously read them again in order to pretend like It’s Not Really Over.

3. after you’ve exhausted every single cherished page, you stare off into space while imagining the characters in new scenarios, living life beyond the boundaries of the book (this stage can evolve into an obsession known as FanFic, which most TEABS experts discourage).

4. you call every friend you know who’s read the book just so you can rehash every single story line and character and, basically, totally spazz out* (*scientific term meaning highly energetic and ridiculous spasms of conversation and exclamations).

5. you read reviews of the book online just so you can shout “TOTALLY!” and “I KNOW, RIGHT?!!!” at yr computer screen.

6. you do a search on amazon for future sequels and, if unsuccessful, turn to the general internet for RUMORS of a sequel, no matter how baseless they are because OMG IT CAN’T BE OVER! IT CAN’T BE!

WARNING: TEABS IS HIGHLY CONTAGIOUS AND IS TRANSMITTED VIA SHARED BOOKAGE.

i provide you with this list, dear readers, after careful analysis of a victim of TEABS… MYSELF!

because, this weekend, i read this:

HOLY PANTS YOU GUYS!!!! THIS BOOK IS FREAKING AMAZING!!!!!!!! I CAN’T STOP THINKING ABOUT IT!! (<– TEABS alert!).

ok ok i’ll try to collect myself for a minute so i can describe to you WHY this book is so insanely good and you MUST READ IT IMMEDIATELY.

now, i know some of you aren’t really into YA, but, trust me, this book transcends all genre borders because it’s just plain FANTASTIC. it takes place in a future, postapocalyptic version of today, where the government (“the capitol”) rules over 12 districts (kinda like states) with an iron fist. the heroine of the book, katniss, is a teenage resident of district 12, which is like, the crappy, ghetto district. it’s not dangerous as much as flat out poor, and katniss has been forced to become a badass in order to provide for her mother and sister by hunting in the woods (which is illegal, FYI). anyway, in order to remind the districts that the capitol is always in control, the country holds the annual “hunger games,” where two teens from every district are randomly chosen to compete in a fight to the death– think “battle royale” or “lord of the flies.” the 24 competitors, called tributes, are dumped in a vast wilderness arena, and the entire event, which takes about two weeks, is not only televised but is required viewing for all districts.

as you can easily guess, katniss ends up as a tribute in the games… and ok, i don’t want to give away any more plot, cos the twists are obvs part of what make the book so gripping. just trust me when i say that, once you get through the first chapter of this book, YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO PUT IT DOWN. it’s exciting and romantic (yay!) and REALLY SCARY (seriously, i had to close it a few times and take some deep breaths),not to mention utterly, utterly compelling. it’s a human story, but it’s also a political one, and collins does a superb job of storytelling (i.e. she doesn’t get preachy like SOMEONE i know, whose name ryhymes with forge borewell).

the best part? HALLELUJAH THERE’S A SEQUEL!!!!! it doesn’t come out until sept 1 though so… i’m gonna have to get a grip on my TEABS til then.

anyway, i give this book four out of four pants, plus PANTS TO INFINITY COS IT’S SO GOOD. we’re talking, definite poshie 2009 nominee folks. and, you know i don’t say this lightly: “read it. i KNOW you’ll love it!” AND THEN WE CAN TALK ABOUT IT!! I’M DYING HERE!!!!!

+ INFINITY PANTS

ok, two more quick reviews on books that were really great but just not up to the epic standard set by “hunger games”:

ok, i am totally in love with this book too. I HAVE MULTIPLE CASES OF TEABS, YOU GUYS. this is bad.

i am SUPER late in the game on the jessica darling series (this is book one) which debuted in 2001 but you better believe i am catching up FAST (guess who requested all four of the other books from the library already, holla!!). cos jessica darling is totally one of my favorite YA heroines that i’ve EVER encountered. she’s hilarious and hormonal and super super smart and dramatic… you know, a teenager. just like sarah dessen, one of my most revered YA writers, megan mccafferty perfectly captures the inner (and outer) dialogue of a teenager– the highs of a crush, the lows of crappy friends, the politics of high school, the jumping to ridiculous conclusions, the embarrassments that threaten to End Life As We Know It. jessica’s voice is refreshingly honest and 100% authentic as she navigates a lunch table full of mean girl friends, an obsession with a boy who doesn’t know she exists (of course), a mom who totally doesn’t get her, and a super weird new friendship with the resident stoner guy. now, that description may sound like run of the mill YA stuff, but trust me when i say that jessica’s cynical attitude and brutally honest commentary turn this typical faire into a gem of a book.

think of it as the “my so-called life” of the YA world. and THANK GOODNESS there’s not just one sequel, but FOUR!!!!

maybe the most compelling thing i can say about this book is that it made me want to go back to high school. no seriously. and you know it’s the TEABS talking cos THAT’S CRAY CRAY!!!!

i give this book four v. enthusiastic pants!!!!!!!!!

ok, third and finally!

“undercover” is such a sweet and lovely read– in fact, it’s more like a poem than a book, which is a bit unusual in YA-land. the story centers on elisa, a girl who delights in weaving words together while her family falls apart. her talent as a wordsmith has transformed her into the cyrano of her school, with boys asking her to write little love poems in order to win the hearts of more popular girls. elisa prides herself on being an observer, but while she finds tiny bits of beauty around her, she fails to be an active participant in her life. all of this changes when she strikes up a friendship with a boy at school and decides to teach herself to ice skate on a tiny pond she discovers in the woods behind her neighborhood.

i often feel like i need more poetry in my life, and after reading this book, my heart felt refreshed by elisa’s magical, etherealwords. as a heroine, elisa is a marvelously complex character– quiet and bookwormish on the outside, curious and whimsical on the inside. kephart does a wonderful job of balancing the poetry with the plot, although i think she ultimately falls a little too heavily on the poetic side (there are a few moments that ring a little bit contrived). overall, though, i really cherished this book, which is why i give it a glowing endorsement of three and half pants!

now it’s YR turn. what are you guys reading? anybody got a case of TEABS they need therapy for?

p.s. PLEASE READ THE HUNGER GAMES AND THEN CALL ME.

LINKS

i realize this is kinda old news but OMG THE NEW HP TRAILER GIVES ME GOOSEBUMPS PANTS!

randy sent me this video of a renegade “sound of music” dance performance. maybe it’s cos i was sick over the weekend when i watched it but it totally brought tears to my eyes! cos, like, look at people, bringing secret joy into mundane places!!! ha ha i am ridiculous.

meredith sent me one of the best “night out” pieces ever– cos COLIN HANKS! I LOVE COLIN HANKS! the only thing missing from this piece is the part where i get to hug him.

new mandy moore video! i know erin with a little e will be the only one who cares but YAY!!!

a nine-year-old named alec greven has written (and published) a book called “how to talk to girls.”

and no, he isn’t the boy from “love actually” (although i wish he was!!!!), but he’s still pretty cute:

he’s from colorado, and according to the article, his book started out as a $3 pamphlet sold at the SCHOOL BOOK FAIR! can you get more squee than that?!! he sold his little love book at the book fair!!!

lucky for us, it’s being published nationally, so i can buy my own copy and learn things like:

“It is easy to spot pretty girls because they have big earrings, fancy dresses and all the jewelry. Pretty girls are like cars that need a lot of oil. The best choice for most boys is a regular girl. Remember, some pretty girls are coldhearted when it comes to boys. Don’t let them get to you.”

and, my personal favorite:

“Comb your hair and don’t wear sweats”

double true, alec. double true!

of course, reading about this book made me think about advice i would give to boys. i started out from the perspective of my nine-year-old self but then soon realized that a lot of these rules are universal, i.e. twentysomething guys still burp in front of me and it’s NASTY.

and so, i present to you:

“how to talk to girls”: the posh deluxe edition

don’t wave nasty things in a girl’s face when you’re trying to get her attention.

wash yr hands often.

give the girl a lot of little, specific compliments, like: “i like how yr hair is curly” or “yr sweater is pretty.”

if you own a puppy or kitty, let her play with it!

don’t ever say that you are smarter than a girl because that is just dumb (and a lie).

if you are on the playground, offer to push her on the swing. and then push her really high (or as high as she wants to go).

on valetine’s day, give her the biggest and fanciest card from the box (even if it’s supposed to be for the teacher).

offer her the dessert from yr lunchbox.

in class, pass her little notes full of drawings and knock-knock jokes (but no gross ones).

* * *

i could go on and on, but i’ll leave some space for pants world. what advice would you guys add?

and, specifically to the boys, is there any advice you *wish* you’d received as a nine-year-old?

LINKS

randy sent me this video of a dog that is apparently impervious to frozen temperatures… he’s basically *swimming* through the snow. love it! and also, glad i don’t live there!

randy ALSO sent me the link to the grassroots campaign in support of the “best picture” oscar for “dark knight,” a cause i wholeheartedly support. i mean, just watching that promo video gave me goosebumps!

john provides evidence for his “men are idiots” comment yesterday: check out this dude wielding a machine gun/chainsaw. paging bruce campbell…

haute couture that you can EAT? hello, posh tasty business!!!!!!

squee of the day: little matilda, bundled up and skipping!!! (thanks for the link, mandy)

i’m feeling a bit better now, so that means it was a good decision. well done, me!

anyway, while i was lounging around my house, i decided to go through some old books from my childhood, just cos i love turning the pages and feeling my six, seven, eight year-old self recognize images with the rush of seeing an old friend (hellooo, bookworm!).

everything was all sweet and nostalgic until i came upon this book, copyright 1985, which i had *totally* forgotten about:

i’m pretty sure my parents gave me this book, cos my dad loved to teach me knock knock jokes, esp. when i was v. small and could therefore use my cuteness to compensate for really lame jokes.

once i started flipping through the pages, it all came back. i recalled endlessly repeating several of the jokes, all of which are really terrible and super dated (they weren’t kidding around with that title), so that they barely make sense to me now (i doubt they made sense to me back then, either).

but most of all, i remember the illustrations… specifically, i remembered being REALLY FREAKED OUT BY THEM. i was used to princesses, i was used to cool line drawings, i was even used to wacky, but this? this was the stuff of nightmares for little sarah pants.

as an adult, it’s obvious to me that the artist (erin english) was some tripped out remnant of the psychedelic era who was bitter over the fact that the beatles broke up before she had the chance to design their album cover.

i mean, you guys, look at this.

um, yeah. also, note the jokes… none of which are funny, two of which make references to, like, the 1940s.

and it gets weirder from there…

i mean, that is like, some dali action right there. all we need are some melting clocks and then we’re in surreal business! plus, yeah, more “song” knock knock jokes… not exactly playground pleasers.

from there, ms. english basically does a tour de force of modern art, focusing mostly on the style of picasso.

i admit, i love the dishes one. but the other two… yeah, this is 1985, not 1952. which also meant i was six and therefore not quite ready for cubism.

i mean, WHY IS THIS GUY CARRYING AROUND ARMS?!!! AND WEAR DID THEY COME FROM? haunting questions for little sarah pants.

i’m not gonna even touch that second joke. noooo sir.

here’s the picture that actually traumatized me the most. i remember staring at it and wondering why the woman HAS NO TORSO. OR ARMS. and… is her head coming out of… oh sweet fancy moses.

also note the peace sign. nice subliminal touch, erin!

anyway, i won’t torture you with any more illustrations, but i WILL be saying a lot more knock knock jokes from now on so… be prepared.

KNOCK KNOCK

who’s there?

toby.

toby who?

toby or not toby, that is the question!

don’t tell me i have to be six to make that joke funny. TIMELESS HUMOR.

p.s. DISHES THE FBI! OPEN UP!! oh dude. you guys are gonna hate me. v. v. soon.

LINKS

it’s official, the avengers movie is a GO. YESSSSSS.

check out this great simpsons remake of the “mad men” opening sequence.

attention everyone! i’m starting the meeting!!

WALK AWAY FROM THE REFRESHMENT TABLE!

ok, now that we’re all here, i’d like to tell you about not one but TWO amazing books by steve martin. special props to trish for letting me borrow both of them. trish, if this meeting was happening in real life, i would give you a sticker. instead, you can have it virtually:

unfortunately, you can’t really scratch it on yr computer screen. sorry.

anyway!

both of these books are amazing and i will tell you right now, up front, that i give them BOTH four out of four pants:

that is a lot of pants you guys!! but they are well-deserved.

the first book is steve’s autobigraphical account of his years in stand-up comedy:

i’ve always been a fan of steve martin, but after reading about his *incredible* dedication and years (and years) of hard work, i’m totally a superfan. i mean, the guy’s a genius, so you would think his fame came to him easily, but it really REALLY didn’t. i esp. loved reading about his teenage employment at disneyland, esp. when he worked in the magic shop!

but this book is more than just a collection of stories about his career. it’s also full of advice and hard-won wisdom, and i recommend it as a valuable resource for anyone looking to go into show business (or, really, anyone trying to pursue their dreams). steve martin’s clean, concise prose delivers a subtle punch of emotion behind each story and piece of advice.

here are a few of my favorite lines:

Despite a lack of natural ability, I did have the one element necessary to all early creativity: naivete, that fabulous quality that keeps you from knowing just how unsuited you are for what you are about to do.

*

Through the years, I have learned there is no harm in charging oneself up with delusions between moments of valid inspiration.

*

I felt as though every part of me was working. Some nights it seemed that it wasn’t the line that got the laugh, but the tip of my finger.

* * *

seriously, it’s a fascinating exploration of one man’s incredible talent, expressed through one of his many *other* talents. how often does that happen?

now on to the second book!

oh man, i loved this book. it’s a fictional account of a man, daniel, who tries to live a somewhat normal life in spite of his many, many idiosyncracies (caused most likely by autism, or maybe OCD– it’s never clear). the book chronicles the few relationships he develops over the course of a year… friendships with neighbors, unrequieted crushes, a penpalship with his grandmother.

the writing style reminded me of another book about a person with autism, “the curious incident of the dog in the night-time,” but the story is uniquely moving… sweet but never sugary.

it’s really a gem of a book, like a little curio that i want to put up on a shelf to admire and dote upon.

here are a few of my favorite passages:

(this one is about clarissa, his therapist)

She asks me how I am, and she always remembers something from last time that she can follow up on this time. If I told her that I planned to call my mother with the new phone card, she remembers to ask how the call went. Problematic for me, because when I say I’m going to call my mother I am lying, as my mother has been dead– is it six years now? Problematic for her, because Clarissa knows my mother is dead and feels she has to humor me. I know I’m lying and not fooling her, and she thinks I’m crazy and fooling myself. I like this little fib because it connects us at a much deeper level than hello.

*

My fear represented the failure of the human system. It is a sad truth of our creation: Something is amiss in our design, there are loose ends of our psychology that are simply not wrapped up. My fears were the dirty secrets of evolution. They were not provided for, and I was forced to construct elaborate temples to house them.

*

Over the next few hours, I experienced emotions for which there were no names. I felt like a different kind of pioneer, a discoverer of new feelings, of new blends of old sentiments, and I was unable to identify them as they passed through me. I decided to name them like teas, Blue Malva, Orange Pekoe Delight, Gardenia Ochre Assam. Then I worked on new facial expressions to go with my newly named emotions. Forehead raised, upper lip puffed, chin jutted. Eyes crossed, mouth agape, lower teeth showing.

* * *

like i always say: read it. i KNOW you’ll love it!

now, who’s next? oh, you don’t need to raise yr hand. just spill it!

LINKS

you guys!!!! I HAVE TOTALLY MADE IT. seriously. this is even bigger than my internet security modeling gig. lil ole poshdeluxe was featured on cupcakes take the cake, THE cupcake blog of the internet. I’M SO EXCITED!! this is MAJOR.

bookmark this video for the next time you’re having a bad day… i guarantee you will end up crying while feeling completely overwhelmed by pure, unadulterated love. seriously. special thanks to j. for making me cry at work.

meet my new favorite little girl. elmo doesn’t stand a chance against some national air time, esp. when such a talented tongue is involved.

mail puzzles! super fun! although i can’t believe these got delivered while i’m still waiting on my amazon package…

have you guys seen the trailer for “sunshine cleaning“? this is the latest movie to feature the sarah subtitle, “OMG I CAN’T WAIT TO SEE THIS!”

this high speed photography will blow yr mind like a bullet through some yoplait.

micael posted this super cool video that looks like miniatures in stop-motion but is actually real. can someone make a video like this for a hostess factory? cos that would be amazing.

another update from winston, my favorite kitty.

so, does that mean “for better or worse” is starting all over again? will the stories change? does anyone care?

oh man, i used to LOVE “for better or worse.” in fact, i used to love a lot of strips– calvin, peanuts, the far side and even garfield (what can i say, i’m a sucker for drawn lasagna). just the smell of newspaper alone makes me nostalgic for those sunday mornings when all i needed was a plate of my dad’s beer biscuits and the full color comics section (followed by parade magazine, obvs).

when i went to college, i stopped reading the comics regularly, and i never picked the habit back up again, mostly due to the fact that i don’t subscribe to a newspaper. really, does anyone our age subscribe to the local newspaper? anyone?

it makes me a little sad, actually. i guess i can always get my charlie brown fix at christmas, but what about calvin? will luann ever NOT be a teenager? will cathy ever find true love and a diet that works? in a way, funnies went the route of saturday cartoons– once seen as necessary to my v. existence, they have become sweet reminders of my childhood, no longer relevant to my adult life.

although to be fair, i’m sure that my love for comics naturally evolved into a passion for graphic novels, and for that i am extremely thankful. plus i like the idea that peanuts was my gateway drug to, say, sandman.

whenever i’m visiting my parents, i always take the opportunity to visit my old favorites– i ask charlie brown, for the millionth time, “WHY ARE YOU FRIENDS WITH LUCY?!”; i wonder if luann and aaron will ever get together; i shake my head over the fact that “prince valiant” is actually still IN PRINT (seriously?).

which comic strips did you guys read as kids?

p.s. i’m really hoping someone says prince valiant.

LINKS

trish sent me this link to the 17 most recognizable trademarked sounds. pretty cool, but where’s “where’s the beef?” or is that not a sound? ok.

duuuude check out these POSH DELUXE POOLS!!