Archive for the 'growing up' Category

from now on, I’m swallowing my gum

Published by
Sarah
August 18, 2008 in growing up. 16 Comments

every afternoon, i eat an apple at my desk.

and every afternoon, i stare at the tiny white spots on the skin, still believing, in some way, that those little spots are vitamins.

from whence came this insanity?

my own mother!

see, at some point in my childhood, my mom, in a desperate attempt to get me to eat an apple without her having to go through the torture of de-skinning it, told me that i HAD to eat the skin, cos that’s where the vitamins lived.

she pointed to the tiny white dots and said, “see? those are the vitamins!”

mom, i don’t know if you remember doing this or not, but i swear, you did. I SWEAR.

and you guys, i believed this lie until high school. I KNOW!!!! i am not joking. i don’t remember what year it was, but during lunch, i pointed out the “vitamins” to a friend who promptly stared at me incredulously.

friend: “sarah, you can’t really *see* the vitamins. they’re in the skin, but you don’t see them.”

me: I CANNOT BELIEVE MY MOM LIED TO ME!!!

i felt like a kid who painstakingly avoids sidewalk cracks his whole life, only to find out that his mom’s back will not, in fact, break.

of course, my parents had lied to me before. i’m talking about the whole Santa Claus Scandal, not to mention the Tooth Fairy Cover-Up. but those are the sort of fables you *expect* yr parents to tell you, and i don’t know about you guys, but i wasn’t upset when i found out the truth.

actually, i *was* upset about the tooth fairy, namely wondering, “so does this mean i won’t get paid for my teeth anymore? GAH. why didn’t i keep my mouth shut?!”

my parents never told me that the tooth fairy might KILL ME! more lies!!!

Continue reading ‘from now on, I’m swallowing my gum’

the ghosts of cakes past

Published by
Sarah
August 11, 2008 in growing up and tasty business. 18 Comments

you guys. i think the airline industry READS THIS BLOG.

and now it hates me cos i was talking smack last monday!!

on friday, henri and i were supposed to leave for boston at 11:20 AM… but our flight didn’t leave until 6:20 PM!!! WHAT IS THAT? fortunately, we left the airport and just hung out, but still.

and then, last night, my flight home was delayed and i didn’t make it back to my apartment until 3 AM.

I WILL NEVER FLY AGAIN.

until october.

anyway, i’m telling you this now so that yr sympathy for me will improve yr perception of today’s blog. because i am not above the pity vote. and i’m not sure if this entry will actually be coherent.

today, i’d like to talk about cake. which i realize is not unusual. but i’ve been inspired by this incredible site called cake wrecks, which chronicles the most tacky and ridiculous and downright scary cakes you could possibly imagine.

which is truly a travesty, cos there should NEVER EVER be such a thing as a bad cake. it goes against nature. it’s like, an ugly puppy.

but, as long as evil exists in this world, there will apparently be really scary baby cakes with abnormally large heads and no bodies:

sofia, guess what you’re getting in the mail to celebrate baby nathan’s arrival!!

Continue reading ‘the ghosts of cakes past’

dear diary pants: meet the 8th grade poshdeluxe

Published by
Sarah
July 17, 2008 in dear diary and growing up. 15 Comments

last night, i did something i haven’t done in a v. v. long time.

i went over to my nightstand and pulled out a few of my old journals, which were slightly dusty. and then, i actually OPENED them and started reading, flipping through pages filled with penciled scrawl.

what i found within those pages is kind of horrifying and hilarious at the same time, particularly during the 1993-94 era. it turns out that i was quite a meticulous autobiographer, painting vivid pictures of snobby girls and aloof boys and impossible tests and giggle infested sleepovers. i can’t BELIEVE some of the things i wrote down, and yet… i can. because, funnily enough, i am still that same person, the girl who agonized over her geometry homework and who she would see at the school dance. although i like to think i have improved in certain areas, particularly in being able to actually *speak* to boys now.

this journey through (a v. awkward) time inspired me to start a new little series on this blog, “dear diary pants.” basically, i will share with you a particularly, uh, entertaining entry from one of my old journals, prefaced with a summary of what you are about to discover about the adolescent posh deluxe. i will also try to include a photo taken around the time of the entry, just to give you some context.

hopefully, my teenage angst and embarrassment will amuse you. because it *certainly* amuses me.

the following entry is from february 2, 1993.

in this entry, you will learn the following about 13 year old posh deluxe:

1. she is v. paranoid about someone reading her journal.

2. she believes that abbreviating names will help to maintain her secrecy, even though all it really does is confuse the older version of herself, who cannot for the life of her remember who most of these people are.

3. she does not know how to talk to boys, at all.

4. even though she really WANTS to talk to boys, she still doesn’t want a boyfriend. she thinks.

5. she is really, really confused.

ok, so i’m not in this picture, but my friends are: talena, becky and randy. and i’m already embarrassing myself enough, right? right. you can send hate mail to jennifer for furnishing me with this gem.

I am in a very personal mood. If anyone is reading this, STOP RIGHT NOW! This is very personal! If you don’t stop reading, I’ll kick your butt! (ok, I’ll get Aaron B. to kick your butt).

The subject for today is: guys. Yes folks, boys, men (ha!) at our school.

I will also talk about my dreams! Not the ones I have while I am sleeping, but the ones I think about, my wishes. I wish I had a magic wishing well, all to my own, and whenever I threw a penny in and wished, it would come true. Man, I have so many wishes that, after a year, that thing woudl be holding about one thousand pennies. I wouldn’t want a Genie, cause usually they limit your wishes. Heck, if I ever get a chace for things to come true, I’m going all the way! (and I don’t mean that, you sick person).

Anyway, back to my original 2 subjects. Do you know, dearest journal, that I have never gone out with a single guy! Yes, it’s true, but it’s probably my fault. I never went to “The School of Flirting” like Emily C. or Melissa L. That’s probably why I’m so jealous of them both! They know how to do everything right, and I can never think of anything to say around a guy. I’m always funny and wacko around my friends, but when I’m around guys, it’s totally different. Well, there are a few exceptions– Seth and Navid, for instance [ed. note: both of those guys turned out to be gay. HOW IRONIC]. I think the reason I’m so comfortable around them is that they speak first. I don’t have to get them to try to notice me. They already talk to me. With, ahem, Mr. “T” and, like, Mr. “A” [ed. note: i have no idea who that was] I have to really show them that I am alive and can hold a conversation. With some, it is halfway, such as Mr. “J.” I guess that’s because he got to know me, so I’m a little more comfortable. It’s so discouraging, sometimes I feel like I’m getting better at befriending guys, but I’m still- just- I don’t know! And then there’s Mr. “Q” who thinks I like him, cuz I’m always talking to him! He’s really nice and funny, but now I can’t talk to him freely because he’s suspicious.

And then, when I actually like a guy, and he, maybe, likes me (I think), it’s too late! He likes somebody else! That just happened to me! It is so agonizing! I thought I had a dance partner secured for the “Valentine’s Dance” and now he’s about to go out with one of my friends. And then I think about the people I know that are always sitting with guys and stuff, and I can’t figure out why! They have noooo personality, or wit, or whatever. But then, maybe guys don’t think I do, either, because I don’t show it.

I feel hurt inside about what just happened. I know I shouldn’t. I guess I felt that he was mine to keep, kinda, and nobody else would enter [ed note: ?] but ain’t that stupid!

Of course, actually, I don’t think I’d want to go out with a guy yet. I’d be tooooo embarrassed. Now, that’s kind of an oxymoron! Here I am, talking about how I want to become better friends with guys and stuff, and then I say I wouldn’t want to go out with one anyway! Geez, am I confused.

Well, it has helped to write things down! And maybe, I’ve learned some from this too!

Farewell,

Sarah!

Hey, maybe I’ll start putting an exclamation mark there. :)

LINKS

OMGGGGG!!!! teaser trailer for TERMINATOR 4!!!!!!!! whew, now i’ll have something to look forward to after i finally see batman tomorrow.

even though estelle is still my main summer jam, i am LOVING this new COLOURS video, feat. bently, kanye and andre 3000.

balloon graffiti? oh heck yes. you MUST check out these photos.

jezebel compiled a great hollywood casting list for female advertising icons. and, to be honest, i wouldn’t be surprised to find rihanna on a can of morton’s salt.

sadie is REALLY excited about this new website that tells her (and me) exactly when the bus is coming!! finally! technology that is actually USEFUL!

wow, these beach houses are amazing. but you know, i’ll take any house on a beach, no matter how fugly it is. cos i’m humble like that.

speaking of cool houses, jancee dunn just wrote an article for the NYT about a totally charming little house in brooklyn WHERE I WANT TO LIVE THANK YOU.

talena sent me this article about a kid who protects his neighborhood from speeders by donning an orange vest and using a radar gun. i’m sorry, but that kid is totally gonna get the pee knocked out of him in high school.

“i can’t have a baby because i have a 12:30 lunch meeting”

Published by
Sarah
July 15, 2008 in family and growing up. 18 Comments

i remember the first time i encountered the idea of a big shot professional working mama. her name was j.c. wiatt, and she was a high powered new york business woman until one day, she received an inheritance… in the form of a baby.

yeah, that’s right, i’m talking about “baby boom.”

i remember LOVING this movie as a kid, cos it featured glitzy new york city and a cute baby and homemade apple sauce which looked DIVINE. at the time, i thought it was perfectly natural that a woman would give up her uber powerful corporate job and retire to a quiet town in vermont to raise her kid and make applesauce.

i mean, obviously, right?

now, of course, i can’t help but wonder if j.c. ever got bored with small town life. what if she missed having an assistant bring her coffee? or making decisions that actually affected more than, say, two people? or walking into a room and having people see her as “that big shot CEO lady” or even just “j.c.” as opposed to “mom”?

jezebel posted two separate entries related to this topic today, one about how difficult it is for moms to juggle jobs and kids (file that under Big Duh Science) and the other about a new policy in britain that gives more maternity leave to mothers but reinforces the idea that women should always be the primary caregiver. uh, i’m guessing “baby boom” made more of a splash in the UK than “mr. mom.”

given the current state of the economy, it seems more and more likely that both parents will have to continue working after they start a family. oh, and don’t even get me started on maternity (or paternity) leave.

it makes me wonder about how i will feel, whenever i have kids (which is far, far into the distant future, let me assure you, unless i randomly inherit a baby like j.c.). what sort of choices will i have? what if i want to stay home but can’t afford it? what if i stay home and suddenly feel, well, like i’m suffocating, because i’ve lost a v. real part of my identity?

when i look back on my childhood, i know i was extremely fortunate to have a mother that was able to hang out with me, 24/7. sure, she took me to mother’s day out for a break now and then, but for the most part, mom was always there, whether i needed a PB & honey sandwich or a narrator for the 367th reading of “blueberries for sal.”

would my childhood have been different if my mom had worked? of course. would it have been worse? i doubt it, considering that my parents are both so amazing.

but would it have been harder on them? certainly. did my mom ever regret staying at home rather than pursuing a career? i don’t think so.

these are all questions that people, parents, have to answer for themselves… then again, financially, sometimes they only have one option.

since i was never a “latch key” kid, i harbor a real curiosity about how parents who both work make time to give their children the love and education they need. i know it’s certainly, definitely possible, but i want to know *how* you do it… without retiring and making gourmet apple sauce for a living.

so, pants world: what do you think is necessary to create a positive and nurturing environment for kids? what lessons did you learn from yr parents, especially with regards to balance?

and, for those of you with kids… or about to have a little one… how did you make these choices, about working or staying home?

of course, if j.c. wiatt was transplanted to 2008, she’d probably just hire four nannies, throw in an adopted kid from a third world country and call it a day.

LINKS

weburbanist is gonna do an eight part series on bansky. and i am v. glad.

the new italian vogue, featuring all black models, is totally awesome. so, tell me, fashion world, why don’t i see any of these fine ladies on the runway?

BWE compiled a list of movies that made more money on their opening weekend than eddie murphy’s latest disaster, “meet dave.” and WOW, “baby geniuses”? really? ok, that’s just sad.

now, the bellas and edwards of the world can find love online thanks to lovebitten.net. you better believe i’m gonna start trolling for spike… (thanks matt for the link).

apparently, it’s now a big trend to take children’s drawings and try to recreate them. so far, though, this guy is my favorite. maybe it’s because i soooo drew that pink princess room. plus, i love the recreation of a child’s perception of tables…

have you guys heard of this blind 5 year-old girl who is, like, a mini mozart? wow.

check out this PB&J mechanical munchie machine!!! uh, can i get a mac & cheese munchie machine? what about one for sweet potato fries? (thanks to moody for the link).

do you guys know what a beguine is? i didn’t, until i read this fascinating article in the times travel section.

jezebel has a clip from one of the greatest eps of “intervention” ever. and by greatest, i mean the best possible marriage of hilarious and depressing.

embracing the present by way of the past

Published by
Sarah
June 30, 2008 in growing up and pantship. 9 Comments

over the weekend, my parents and i returned to lafayette, LA, the place where i was born.

our trip wasn’t really planned. but you see, about a week ago, a guy in a rental car decided to run a red light while traveling at 98 miles an hour. and he hit a car with a family in it– a mother, a father, a daughter, and two foster children.

and all of them died.

the mother in the car was named christy, and when i was growing up, she was my babysitter. more than that, her family and mine were interwined by the same neighborhood, the same church, the same love of camping trips and christmas caroling and potlucks. christy’s family, along with several others, formed a community for me, a warm and light-filled place that allowed me to grow up in safety, in peace, in love.

when i look back, i realize how idyllic it all was. and yet, it wasn’t a utopia or a black and white pleasantville. it was real, supported by people who *worked* at loving each other, forming steps with their bare hands to lift each other higher and higher.

and so mom, dad and i drove to this place, where i first learned what “community” really means.

the service for the family was beautiful, actually, and filled with hope. that might sound crazy, given the tragedy, but it was. and to be perfectly honest, that’s not really want i want to write about today. so you don’t need to say that you’re sorry in the comments, because it’s the world’s loss, not really “mine.” and, based on this weekend and my previous experience with the people of lafayette, i know that the remaining family members will be comforted in their grief by a vibrant and caring community. you can read more about the family here.

maybe it’s selfish, but this trip, for me, was about coming home, or to an idea of home, that suddenly felt threatened by the shadow of death, the inevitable passing of time. and that’s what i want to write about.

we spent the night with the butts family, or rather, mr. hal and miss chris.

i believe i’ve mentioned their daughter, katherine, on this blog before… we went to elementary together, and in kindergarten she won the coveted role of “mary” in the christmas show (obviously i’m totally over the snub. obviously).

as i walked into their living room, a hundred memories flooded my heart… painting katherine’s little brother, david’s, toenails while he was asleep, marching down the street in our own parade, and most distinctly, creating shows to perform for our parents after their bible study ended.

so this may look like a regular room to you, but trust me, it’s a magical place.

katherine’s house featured the added allure of a tiny cemetery tucked away in the trees behind her backyard, which seems to me, now, like something from a coming-of-age movie. i guess it was *my* coming of age movie. i remember biking down a little trail and cautiously wandering around the perimeter, whispering “what if” histories for the bodies silently rotting under the green grass. the petiteness of the graveyard made it seem less frightening and more of a curiosity, death as a romantic mystery, “the clearing at the end of the path” as stephen king would say. walking among the stones, i felt like anne shirley, reciting “the lady of shallot” in a rowboat on the river and goosebumping with the thrill of gorgeous tragedy.

many of the trees have been cleared, and the new chain link fence really cuts down on the romance, but the cemetery is still there, meaning, there is a least a little magic left.

it wouldn’t be a true journey home without seeing my first best friend, emily philips. to tell you the truth, i felt a little nervous as i stood on the front step of her house and raised my fist to the door. i was about to see my first friend, and perhaps, in the purest, most innocent sense, my truest friend. what if she was different? what if i no longer recognized her laughter or voice or, god forbid, her smile? what if the *nowness* of her wiped out all of our shared history, ripped out the roots of who i am?

she opened the door, and my heart flip flopped, because i knew that face. i knew that smile. i knew this girl.

of course she has changed, because that’s what happens when you deal with time. but the core of emily, just like the core of “us,” hasn’t yielded one single inch. when i look at that picture, i still see these girls, crammed into a photo booth at astroworld in 1992.

and i still see THESE girls, growing up together on sweetbay lane.

the girl in the middle is mandy, who lived across from me. i didn’t like her as much as i liked emily. i think cos she was bossy. but you know what i DO like? a red sweatshirt with my name on it.

emily lived right down the street from me, and, in true bff form, we never, EVER got tired of each other. i’m pretty sure that we hung out every single day, our imaginations running wild with possibility. we made drawings and then sold them on the street (ah, neighbors. thank you for being so kind to two little girls); we climbed trees and “spied” on people with emily’s toy polaroid camera; we wove wild onion flowers into headdresses and tirelessly cleaned my swing set, which was actually a castle ruled by an evil queen.

i’m not sure what we’re doing in that picture, but it involves house plants and an umbrella and i’m sure it was incredibly amazing.

together, we experienced those milestones of childhood that are, perhaps, less intense than the struggles of teenagerhood but no less important– the first time we realized that boys were, maybe, ok… the first time we were teased in school… the first time we discovered that music, especially tiffany, *spoke* to us… the first time we saw snow in lafayette, the miracle of all miracles.

when i saw emily the other night, we discussed how sweet and untouched our childhoods truly were. i remember playing hide and go seek with all of the neighborhood kids as the streetlights popped on, our ears perked for the first mom to yell, “it’s time to come inside for dinner!” as the shadows, friendly rather than threatening, deepened in our hiding places. how little i knew of the world to come! and yet, i’m glad for that warm, easy ignorance. there is a time for innocence, and when i see emily’s face, i am so thankful that we grew up slowly rather than suddenly.

nostalgia is often as sweet as it is painful, a bitter pill coated in layers of fragrant ambrosia. when my parents and i finally arrived back in austin last night, i sat on my bed for a while and let the nostalgia have its way with me. i even opened my two special boxes, where i keep old notes from high school and ticket stubs and printed out emails from college, and sorted through my twenty-nine (ok, more like twenty-four) years of memories.

sometimes henri calls me “the girl who hates time,” and i think it’s a pretty appropriate label. as i looked through my assorted mementos, i couldn’t help but wish that all of my friendships and relationships could stay the same… we could all be just as close as we were, when we went to camp together or lived in the dorm together or played hopscotch on sweetbay lane. each person, each experience, is a piece of who i am, and remembering makes those pieces more distinct until their edges begin to pierce me.

but i know things can’t stay the same, nor would i want them to, because if i had never left sweetbay lane, i would have never met the pigbutts in houston, and then i would have never found the powersuite in college, and then my heart would not be populated by all of the amazing people i’ve managed to collect.

during the service for the family who passed away, the pastor offered some ideas on how to live our lives to the fullest, so that, no matter when we die, we will have loved and served people and appreciated the magic that is living. we will have LIVED.

one of the tips was, “keep yr relationships current.”

and it made me think about the way i cling to friendships, new and old, because i’m terrified to lose all of these precious pieces of myself. i’m so afraid of change and time that i keep these bits of paper as tangible proof that my memories still exist; when i saw that cemetery behind katherine’s house, i breathed a sigh of relief, because it meant that my childhood was, somehow, still intact.

but maybe, my clinging to the past can become, is becoming, an embrace of the present and the future. maybe my obsession can be a gift, a way to reach out to *people* rather than ghosts. maybe, all along, i’ve been fueled by my reservoir of memories to maintain friendships that are still as true as they were five, ten, fifteen years ago.

maybe i need to see that the passage of time yields experiences i have *gained* rather than lost.

in one of the boxes, i found a picture of emily and me, another photo booth shot from astroworld. and i realized that as much as i miss those days of headbands and swatch watches, i love knowing emily NOW. i love seeing her face, bereft of baby fat, and the way she smiles when she talks about the love of her life, which, by the way, is no longer kirk cameron.

i’m grateful for my memories, but i want to be even more grateful for the present.

because the present gives me the opportunity to embrace living, breathing, beautiful friends, who, unlike ghosts, will hug me back.

best friends forever?

Published by
Sarah
June 4, 2008 in growing up and pantship. 17 Comments

being a super cheesy pants, i often reflect on my amazing friends and marvel at how we met. i’ll think to myself, “it was DESTINY that we ____ (insert: “took that class together!” or “were in the same orientation group!” or “worked in that office together!”).

for example, i justify the two miserable years at my last job because it gave me the chance to meet meredith. i think back to 1996 and wonder about the odds of amber being placed in my “get to know you” group. i give myself a hearty pat on the back for participating in the will rice one-act plays so that i could meet mark and kendall. i drink margaritas with my friend jordan p. and thank my lucky stars that i hired him at ktru.

and the list goes on and on.

well, apparently, i’m a romantic (surprise!), because scientists have just proven that it’s not, as i choose to believe, destiny. no, it’s something much more mundane: proximity. from the press release:

* * *

The actor Sir Peter Ustinov once famously said “Contrary to general belief, I do not believe that friends are necessarily the people you like best, they are merely the people who get their first.” Psychologists now believe there is some truth to this argument. Rather than picking our friends based on intentional choice and common values and interests, our friendships may be based on more superficial factors like proximity (think neighbors) or group assignments (your department at work).

Mitja Back, Stefan Schmukle, and Boris Egloff of the University of Leipzig sought to test the notion that random proximity and random group assignment at zero acquaintance would foster friendship in the long run. The researchers investigated 54 college freshmen upon encountering one another for the first time at the beginning of a one-off introductory session and randomly assigned them a seat number in a group of chairs organized in rows.

As reported in a recent issue of Psychological Science, a journal of the Association for Psychological Science, sitting in neighboring seats as a result of randomly assigned seat numbers when meeting for the first time led to higher ratings of friendship intensity one year later. The same was true even if participants were merely in the same row.

The counterintuitive finding suggests that friendships may not be as deliberate we think. “In a nutshell,” write the authors, “people may become friends simply because they drew the right random number.”

* * *

ok, so most of this is what i call “big duh science.” i mean, of COURSE you’re gonna make friends with people that you see every day, esp. during a time like college, when everyone is searching for a kindred spirit and it’s easier to talk to the person sitting next to you then it is to cross the cafeteria and randomly introduce yrself to a stranger.

also? this study doesn’t seem that scientific to me, but maybe it’s just cos this is a press release and not the actual report about the experiment.

anyway, i’m not really interested in a battle between destiny and proximity, but i am AM interested in what makes friendships last, esp. when people no longer attend the same classes or live in the same cities. this wondering coincides nicely with the fact that i saw the SATC movie last night (i enjoyed the pants out of it, btw), which of course made me think about female friendships.

as a side note, henri wants to know how the SATC ladies met, cos the show never addresses it, which is really a shame. this study makes me think that maybe at one point they used the same nail salon or were regulars at the same bar for cocktail hour.

so in the movie (no spoilers, i promise) the ladies have all moved on with their lives, husbands, kids, etc. but they remain good friends. samantha even lives on the west coast but flies to NYC constantly cos she is totally $$$$. and even though i love the idea that they are as close as ever, i’m not sure if it’s realistic?

i mean, it is totally possible to get married and have kids and still maintain close friendships. on the other hand, we all change as we get older, whether it’s because of married life or a shift in interests or a consuming career. and while i will always share a bond with my best friends from college, i no longer feel as connected to many of them, esp. when we no longer live in the same place. ah, proximity!

then again, there *are* friends that feel just as real, just as close as the days when we lived and played and worked together.

so what is the secret?

is it about being a good email pants? if i know what’s going on in someone’s life, i feel closer to them. if i have no idea what someone is up to, does that make our friendship less real? or just *feel* less real, until we see each other again?

is it about living near each other? i have friends who are far away, but when i see them, i know instantly that we are still kindred spirits. then again, do we really share life *together* when great distances lie between us?

is it about having the same kind of lifestyle? some of my friendships have weakened simply due to life circumstances. can i be on the same page with someone who just had a baby or who is married, if i haven’t experienced these things for myself?

is it about sharing mutual passions that never burn out, even with age?

in spite of the science, i can’t help but wonder, is it just destiny?

what do you guys think? how have you met yr closest friends, and how do you keep those two jagged heart pieces together?

regardless of this study, i believe friendship is too magical of a creature for hard science. perhaps we’re better off without the ability to predict who we will meet or how our relationships will evolve.

i prefer a life when i never know who will be around the corner, whether it’s a stranger who just happens to love “you’ve got mail” as much as i do, or an old friend with a smile my heart will always recognize, no matter the distance.

LINKS

oooh wanna read about what COULD have been in the SATC movie?!!! my first reaction is to never, ever forgive them for cutting aidan… and then i think about how painful it would’ve been to see him again, and i’ve decided that they made the right choice. cos i probably would have cried even more than i already did.

jezebel celebrates the positive things about hilary on the eve (i guess?) of her departure from the presidential race.

cakespy just introduced me to this generation’s thiebaud: nancy bea miller. cos my apartment needs more baked goods art, obviously.

another reality show that i think looks awesome but will never watch– check out these CRAYZEE older ladies trying to be models. my favorite is totally eleanor, “no cosmetic surgery!”

YES! another reason to drink read wine. ha, like i needed one.

in the SATC movie, jennifer hudson talks about renting designer purses… then today i read about zilok, which allows you to rent, well, anything. but can you rent puppies, i ask?!!!!!

“no one is going to hold me back except for me”

Published by
Sarah
May 29, 2008 in growing up. 8 Comments

today i read an article in the onion entitled, “report: women increasingly choosing dead-end careers over dead-end relationships.”

i recommend reading the entire piece (which isn’t long), but here are my favorite parts:

***

According to a report published Monday in The Journal Of Gender Studies, many American women are bucking centuries of traditional gender roles by placing stunted, emotionally unfulfilling relationships on hold in order to pursue mind-numbing careers devoid of any upward mobility.

-

“Technical and repair professions with zero prospects for advancement are no longer viewed solely as the realm of males,” Detweiller said. “Women have proved that they are just as adept as men at frittering their lives away in soul-crushing vocations.”

While the number of women entering moribund, male-dominated careers continues to approach parity, the longtime wage gap between men and women has been slower to catch up.

“Women still average a 7 percent more abysmal salary than the already pathetic income of their male counterparts,” Detweiller said.

-

Lillian Taylor, a recent graduate of SUNY- Purchase in New York, said that without her undergraduate business administration degree, she would never have been able to entrap herself in a go-nowhere human resources position instead of a love-bereft relationship.

“So many of my friends ended up centering their lives around uncaring deadbeats,” Taylor said. “I’m not saying that I won’t date a series of emotionally distant men in the future, but for right now, I prefer to focus on carving out a solid career rut for myself.”

“No one is going to hold me back except for me,” Taylor added.

***

first of all, this article is hysterically awesome.

and you know, those sneaky onion writers actually made me THINK (after i stopped spraying my keyboard with laughter spit). and i continued to THINK as i read this article in the ny times, about how job seekers are growing increasingly desperate in their attempts to get the attention of future employers.

and since i’m feeling generous, here’s ANOTHER excerpt! for free! lucky you!

***

The posting jumped out from the thousands of others in the résumé section of Craigslist/New York City.

“I will give you more than a million dollars for a well-paid sales job,” it all but screamed. I clicked on that and read more. “If you are willing to employ me in a position in Manhattan with a strong salary, I am willing to draw up a legal document making you my sole heir when I die.”

The writer (who turns out to be a real estate salesman named James Kellogg) told me that he owns an Upper East Side apartment worth “slightly more than $1 million” in addition to “more than $800,000 in cash.” And suppose the taker of this deal dies first? No worries. “If I outlive you,” Mr. Kellogg explained reassuringly, “my assets can be left to your family.”

Desperate times make for creative measures, and in the current job market a melee of electronic job boards, résumés sent by e-mail and lots of applicants for limited openings, work comes to those who scream loudest.

***

so, neither of these articles are the kind of thing a girl wants to read when she’s looking for jobs.

i mean, there’s a guy in the times article that makes his business cards look like pizza and then, on the back, offers a free pizza to the first company who contacts him for an interview.

WHAAAAAAAAA

well, people DO like pizza. including me. i wish i had one right now!!! dude, i’ll interview you!

so, if i don’t have a million dollar house, and i don’t really want to make pizza business cards, what can i do to avoid a future of dead-end jobs?

yeah, that’s a dramatic question, and i’m half kidding. i think?!

but i *am* seriously asking: “how am i holding myself back?”

i’m pretty sure i don’t have enough ambition, but then again, it’s probably cos ambition comes from passion, and my passion is kind of all over the place. i also wonder if i need to get a little more business savvy, like maybe i need a pair of networking pants. but… um… those pants are FUGLY.

i think back to how i’ve landed other jobs, and at least half the time, it’s been through people i know.

so come on, guys. what are you waiting for? GET ME A JOB!

ha ha that would be awesome if you guys actually did. then my story could be an addendum to the times piece: “girl finds job via personal blog about food and squee.”

seriously, though, how have you guys gotten jobs in the past? if you have a job you like, how did you land it?

it can’t be as bad as the summer in high school when i walked around downtown houston with jennifer (and keriann? leanna? who else was there?), clutching my pansy resume and walking cold turkey into monotone offices to ask, “will you hire a high school kid who looks like she’s 13? i mean, hey, she’s an honor student! and she’s the president of drama club! FUTURE EMPLOYEE OF THE YEAR, right here!”

it’s funny how, even with a masters degree, some feelings just haven’t changed.

LINKS

this piece about the patricia field payless party cheered me right up after all of this job gloominess. metallic heels! trannies! partricia field’s loft! and the jezebels even went home via wheelchair, which, as meredith knows, is the sign of a good party.

squee of the day: a doggie mama and her baby bunnies!!!!

interesting article about how portland is trying to educate people about the effects of gentrification.

jezebel reviews the j. peterman catalog. which is actually real. REAL AWESOME.

my kind of cap & gown

Published by
Sarah
May 19, 2008 in alamoing, family, growing up, pantship and tasty business. 15 Comments

as you all know, i have now officially graduated.

there are a lot of benefits to finishing graduate school, like being able to put yr shiny new degree on yr resume and NEVER HAVING HOMEWORK AGAIN and people calling you “master.”

wait, people don’t call you “master” when you have a masters degree?! are you serious? WHY DID I WASTE ALL OF THIS TIME?

anyway, all of these benefits are great, but my favorite part is CELEBRATING THE FACT THAT I’M DONE.

cos i am reeeeally good at celebrating things. so good, in fact, that i managed to pack ALL of my favoritey favorites into one weekend. read this list and be amazed:

1) my parents

2) my friends

3) tasty business

4) alamo sing-alongs

5) radiohead

this was no cookies and punch reception, people.

friday night, my parents took henri and me to a posh dinner at mars on south congress. i’d never been there before, so it was even more exciting!

we started off with the tuna tataki, which was EXQUISITE.

for the entree, i ordered the butternut squash gyoza with sake cream sauce. IT WAS AMAZING. OMG. looking at this picture makes me want to lick my monitor. and that is gross.

of course i saved room for dessert, cos hello, it wouldn’t be a poshdeluxe celebration without baked goods!!!! although i will forever love the donut holes at parkside, these glazed donuts (with espresso gelatto) absolutely took my breath away. LOOK AT THEM.

ok great now i’m starving. thanks for nothing, lean pocket from lunch!

it’s been so wonderul to have my parents close by in round rock, and on friday, i was especially grateful for their presence (and not just cos they bought me food). they’ve always been so supportive of me– honestly, i’ve never met two people who are more encouraging, to *everyone*, than my parents. when i saw the pride and happiness in their eyes, i felt like a million buckaroos.

yay, now all three of the pitres have masters degrees! we are, as meredith likes to say, so freaking scholarly!

since i knew i’d be seeing many of my VIPantsers over the weekend, i decided to ask them for advice, cos their opinions and perspectives mean the world to me.

i started with mom and dad:

see? aren’t they the best?!!

then i asked henri, cos i think he is v. v. smart, and he’s also business-savvy, which i am not.

i’m starting to feel like a children’s book character, gathering advice from adult figures, but ha ha i’m an adult, too. i just forget sometimes.

josh met up with us at the stephen f. austin for a drink so my parents could ask him a billion questions about his new job and his engagement (another great thing about my parents– they are like second parents to all of my friends). josh has been there for several major milestones in my life– the first day at rice, the first day in austin (he helped me move, bless him) and now graduation– and i feel lucky to have a person like him as a constant in my life.

plus, he totally knows how to enjoy a sing-long, which is where we went next.

thank you, josh, for always letting me take ridiculous photos of you and then singing to weezer’s “buddy holly” at the top of yr lungs.

the alterna-90s was the perfect theme for the night, considering the nostalgia invoked by songs like “mr. jones” and “smells like teen spirit.” as i danced around and sang angst-filled lyrics, i thought about how far i’ve come since seventh grade slumber parties and late night journaling sessions at dietrich’s.

the show ended with “it’s the end of the world (as we know it)” which was, well, wildly appropriate.

afterwards, i asked josh for advice, which he gave while wearing his glasses.

the next day, henri and i drove to houston to see RADIOHEAD!!!!!!

not only is radiohead (still, after all these years) my favorite band, but they also happen to be intrinsically connected to graduation for me. back in may of 2001, i ran back to my dorm room after the rice ceremony to sit at my desk, still wearing my cap and gown, and buy a ticket online for the radiohead concert later that summer.

and so, of course i had to see radiohead after graduating from grad school. it’s just in the stars.

i don’t usually like “big” shows, but there’s something so fitting about seeing radiohead in a place where you can sit comfortably, surrounded by yr friends, and let the music wash over you.

note my awesome new bling, a graduation gift from my parents. cos P stands for pitre, poshdeluxe, pants, pretty much everything that is awesome in the universe!!!!

while we were waiting for the show to begin, it started to sprinkle, so henri, matt, meredith and i took shelter under a blanket. it totally felt like an elementary sleepover where everyone gets under the bed sheet and tells ghost stories with a flashlight.

i realized that all i need are these faces, cos even under a blanket in the cold rain, i had the time of my life. some people throw massive catered parties to celebrate their graduation, but i’ll take my best friends and a blanket any day.

josh, erica and teresa showed up to join our little party, which just made me happier. yay!! radiohead with people i love!

and THEN mark lewis came! i sweart, it felt like, “POSH DELUXE, this is yr LIFE!!!” the best part was that mark and meredith finally met in person… it’s the greatest feeling, when two of yr most cherished friends meet each other with wide smiles and outstretched hands and say, “i recognized you from the blog!” ha ha.

the radiohead show did not disappoint. LIKE I NEED TO TELL YOU THAT. it was AMAZING. first of all, the sound was incredible, and i give radiohead’s engineering skills full credit, cos the acoustics at the woodlands pavilion aren’t always that great. second, they had INCREDIBLE LIGHTS!! WOW!!!

look!!!!!

and they changed colors!! and displayed designs! look!!!

the colors would change in time with the music, so the show was a feast for both the ears and the eyes.

even though i love ALL of their albums, i was especially gratified when they played not one but TWO songs from “the bends.” here’s a video of “planet telex,” which was part of the encore. you can see the lights go CRAYZEEEEE.

when i listen to radiohead, my mind reels… sometimes just about life, sometimes about specific memories attached to songs. every track from “amnesiac” reminds me of falling asleep in european hostels, cos i bought it when kendall and i were in london after college graduation. “the bends” takes me back to freshmen year, when life was exciting and scary and frankly, overwhelming.

as i stood there and let the music seep into me, i thought so much about that summer, seven years ago, when i saw radiohead for the first time. i had just come back from europe, rented a house in montrose with mary, and had absolutely no job prospects. i didn’t have a clue about my next step, and somehow, i found that exhilarating. the music soared around me, and the world was open to receive it, open to receive *me*.

and even though so much has happened since that concert, i felt the same way as i stood there, a girl with a master’s degree but no master plan, a girl with a lot of possibilities and a lot of (sometimes conflicting) directions. but i’m not really the same… i’ve learned things and made mistakes and collected even more incredible, amazing people in my life. and that realization made me feel a little bit stronger.

i looked up at the moon as the music and sounds of the crowd rose up into the sky, and i felt precious in my insignificance.

as the crowds streamed out of the gate, i took advantage of mark’s concert attendance to ask him for advice.

the next day, a group of us accompanied matt to st. arnold’s brewery to support him in a beer brewing contest he entered. his final score was incredibly high, and all of us practically exploded with pride (meredith especially).

go matt! you are a master brewer, and i will enjoy the fruit of yr labor anytime you need me.

i love that my graduation celebration included celebrating someone else for their fantastic achievement, esp. because it makes me appreciate the support of my friends and family even more. in fact, the weekend went from a celebration of graduation to a celebration of ALL of the wonderful things in my life, and for me, that’s even better than a new diploma.

before we left, i asked one more friend for advice: meredith.

after gathering all of this advice, i feel like the richest girl on the planet.

because yes, meredith, the world IS my dance party. and i’m going to enjoy the pants out of it.

LINKS

have you guys seen the new trailer for joss whedon’s “dollhouse”?!!! ZOMGGGG. (thanks erin for the link!)

no matter who you’re voting for in the presidential election, i think we can all agree that misogyny in this country has yet to be conquered.

becky sent me this link about meatloaf cupcakes. i’m not sure how i feel about that.

she also sent me this kool-aid, like, database. remember saving kool-aid points?!! so you could get awesome kool-aid prizes?!! yeah!

brooklyn, i have arrived.

Published by
Sarah
May 7, 2008 in growing up. 9 Comments

alice cooper: school’s out (FOREVER!!!!!!)

YOU GUYS!!!!!!!

I AM DONE WITH GRADUATE SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I CANNOT BELIEVE IT! I AM FINISHED! I DID IT!! I REALLY DID IT!!!!

so today i “turned in” my last piece of work for my master’s degree… which was giving a tour to fourth graders at the blanton museum. not a bad way to go out, eh?

actually, i’ve decided that i want to volunteer as a docent (shades of charlotte!) in the future, cos i *love* talking about art with people. esp. kids!

i had a group of about 13 children, all decked out in private school plaid uniforms and rearing to go. their enthusiasm was totally infectious, and i found myself giggling with a few girls as we walked up the stairs, esp. when one little lady, mouth agape, whispered, “these stairs are HUGE! WOW!” i never realized quite how majestic the stairs really are, which is one of the things i love about kids… they see the wonder in everything.

so, not to brag, but i’m really proud of the tour i put together. we looked at four paintings in the european gallery, and i had an exercise for each painting. the kids LOVED getting to actually play in a place where they usually feel v. uncomfortable (given the whole “no touching,” “no yelling,” “no running” thing).

for the first painting, “portrait of a woman and a dog,” i asked the kids to help me fill out a personality survey for the lady. here are some of the responses i got:

what is her name? victoria (”it sounds rich”), elizabeth (”she was a queen”) and clara (”i just like that name”).

what is her dog’s name? sophie (”cos she looks spoiled”), knight (”it looks like the dog has a mask on”), princess (”cos she’s sitting on a red velvet pillow”).

what was the last thing she ate? bread, honey dew melon (”it’s healthy!”), and my favorite, “nothing… look at her waist! it’s really small!”

if you had a portrait of yourself done, what items would you include? “a jet plane! or a fighter plane! both!” and “my computer. i spend a lot of time on it.”

for the next painting, “allegory of youth,” i had one student pretend to be the owner of the painting, and another student pretend to be an art collector. the collector, with his back to the painting, called the owner and asked him to describe the painting. the way they both talked about the piece was AWESOME… it basically went something like this:

owner: “there’s an old guy… and this lady… and a baby. and… the old guy is holding a stick and like, a birdcage? (it was a scythe and an hourglass) and…

collector: “is there perspective in the piece?” <— WHAAA?!!!! this kid is awesome!

owner: “yes… the old man is in the background, but his arm is in the foreground” <– SERIOUSLY CHILD GENIUSES

THEN for the next painting, “the raising of lazarus,” i asked for a few volunteers to pose like people in the painting. one of the girls was jesus, a boy was lazarus, and then two other kids were bystanders. the best part was when i asked them to mirror the facial expressions… the kid who played lazarus looked perfectly dazed, and one of the bystander girls had a total “home alone” look. then, i asked them what their next pose would be, if a minute had passed in the painting. jesus looked SO proud of herself, and lazarus looked like it was his super sweet sixteen and he just got a brand new BMW.

for the final painting, “rebecca and eliezer at the well,” we got in a time machine and traveled to see the painting set in a different year. i asked them for a year in the past, and a girl said, “1997!” ha ha. ah yes, ancient times. so we journeyed to 1997, and then we journeyed to 3001 to see the painting in the future.

one of the kids was v. environmentally astute– in the future, he said, “there wouldn’t be a well, cos we’ll probably be out of water by then.” ok then!

at the end, a redheaded boy asked me, “are these paintings, like, real? or are they replicas?” when i got to tell the group that they were actually REAL, it was like i’d shown them the hope diamond.

and then i thanked them, told them to come back to the museum, took off my name tag, got congratulated by my professor (yay!) and walked outside into the sunshine…

back in high school, at the end of the school year, i would come home and run around the first floor of the house and scream my head off with biscuit, my dog, panting at my heels. in college, we would blast “no sleep til brooklyn” by the beastie boys and dance around the power suite (one year we even put a sign on our door that simply announced, “brooklyn”).

now, i feel like running around the entire CITY and screaming my head off.

so this is brooklyn. i have to say, it feels pretty great… so great, in fact, that i am allowed to use the following cliché:

THE WORLD IS MY OYSTER.

which means my future is some v. v. tasty business.

LINKS

looks like erica and i aren’t the only ones stepping up 2 the streets… check out this awesome dance battle between stephen colbert and rain!!!! (thanks, john, for the link)

erica found the PERFECT jersey for me whenever i take peabody out for a ride. seriously WANT.

designer weapons… this is why i love art. dear santa, please bring me a chanel rocket launcher. kthxbai!

josh sent me this site of anti-meth ads. not only will i never do meth, i will also never look at an anti-meth ad again.

attention crafty pantsers– please make a growing calendar! then give it to me! and also, where’s my french press cozy, eh?!

LAST CLASS DAY OF MY LIFE EVER EVER EVER

Published by
Sarah
April 30, 2008 in growing up. 21 Comments

YOU GUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUYSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I JUST GOT OUT OF MY LAST CLASS!!! OF MY LIFETIME!!!!!

sweet cracker sandwich. this is crazy.

i remember, at the end of my first semester, there was a girl also named sarah who was about to graduate. it was the last day of class, and she was positively *giddy* with excitement, and i thought to myself: “one day, i’m going to be a sarah who is having her last day of class, and it’s gonna feel amazing.”

AND NOW IT IS HAPPENING!!!!!!!

this day is inherently magical, but it features some pretty incredible icing. such as:

1) when i got out of the elevator, i was greeted by this:

i’m really gonna miss having class in the art building. there’s constantly something whimsical going on, and it makes me wish i could go back to undergrad and get my nose pierced and dye my hair dark purple and wear ratty sweaters splattered with paint.

i wanna give a big shout out to sadie for capturing all of these pictures, cos i didn’t have flossy with me today. way to step up, sadie!

2) WE HAD CUPCAKES IN CLASS. you guys. COULD IT GET MORE PERFECT?!!!! one of my classmates used cupcakes in her presentation, cos she is awesome. and we even got to add our own sprinkles!!!!!! this is definitely my kind of graduate education.

3) another presentation featured “apples to apples” which is pretty much the funnest game on the planet. as i looked around the room at my classmates, i realized that i’m actually going to miss them! one of the best parts of being in school is getting to know new people, and it’s been a pleasure to mingle with the future art educators of america. to be honest, they are waaaay cooler than higher ed admin folks (sorry! it’s true!!). not to mention better dressers.

4) KANYE WEST!!!!!!

that’s right, i’m going to see kanye… and rihanna… and n.e.r.d…. and lupe fiasco tonight!!! with erica and henri!!! I’M SO EXCITED!!!! gah i think i’m gonna explode.

here’s the thing, though. even though i’m really ready to be done with school, i still love learning. and that’s why this probably won’t be my last class… maybe in the future i’ll take another art class or a cooking class or maybe even an ADVANCED hip hop class.

i try to cultivate my curiosity as much as possible, and maybe it seems silly, but i consider my foray into hip hop dance to be a legitimate quest for knowledge, such as…

the crank dat lion king dance.

have you guys heard of this dance? probably not, since most of you are white. and apparently white people have never heard of this dance. but it is AWESOME. and so look! i’m sharing my new knowledge with you! learning is so fun!

seriously. this dance is AMAY-MAY. erica and i have already done it a billion times, and i’m hoping to whip it out at the kanye show tonight.

i hope this entry makes sense. not only am i euphoric, but i’m also on sudafed, cos i have some sort of allergy/sinus thing going on.

and since wendesdays are usually question days, i now ask you: what do you want to learn more about? big or small? silly or important?

obviously i’m assuming that you all want to learn crank dat lion king, so you don’t need to worry about mentioning it in yr response.

 

September 2008
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