henri asked me to marry him! and i said YES!

OMGGGG!!!! I KNOW!!! YAY IT’S SO EXCITING! HAPPY PANTS!!!

ok, so you’re probably like, “major duh!” because it happened three weeks ago, and i’ve been a terrible, neglectful owner of this blog. but since this is, like, kind of a MAJOR LIFE MILESTONE, i figured the story needed to be documented and shared on the internets for all of eternity. esp. cos this site has truly become an archive of memories for me, and even though i’m not likely to forget details like the fact that I GOT ENGAGED, it’s still important for me to save and savor all of the special tiny moments.

so HERE’S HOW IT ALL WENT DOWN.

on january 20th, 2011, henri and i were going to celebrate our five year anniversary. whoah, i know! BUT he had to go to sundance. so he suggested that we celebrate on saturday (jan 15th) instead! and since it was such a big deal anniversary, he offered to plan the whole thing. which i thought was super nice of him!

he told me to show up at 4:30 at his place that day, so i got there at 4:15 because when i’m super excited about something i can’t help myself. as i walked in, he walked out, saying that he had to go get something from downstairs. i assumed he was buying something at royal blue, the little grocery store, but what i didn’t realize is that when i walked in, henri was on the phone with my dad!! asking for his blessing!! but he had to hang up on my dad when i came in!!! AWKWARD.

so henri went downstairs and called my dad back, and fortunately my dad said, “of course!” yay! thanks dad!

anyhoodle, when henri came back to his place, he popped open a bottle of champers and told me we were going to watch the episode of chemistry 101, which was filmed on the night we met. if you want to experience that trip down memory lane, you can read my original post about it (like i said, this blog is basically my scrapbook). it was really funny to watch me on a date with a tool another guy for our anniversary, but how cool is it that we have a video recording of the first time we ever laid eyes on each other?

after our little screening, we headed downstairs and started walking through republic square park to, i assumed, go eat dinner. during the summer of 05, when henri and i were first getting to know each other, we had a couple of long, late night conversations while sitting on a bench in the park (after whiskey dancer parties, of course, HOLLA AT ME THE CURB!). anyway, we’re walking through the park, and it’s lightly drizzling, so we’re sharing a big umbrella that we got during the calvin trillin tour at the new yorker festival. henri asked, “where was that bench where we used to sit?” so we wandered around for a few minutes, trying to figure it out, and then, suddenly!

henri says, “well, i hope this is the right spot because i want to do this,” and dropped down on one knee!!! and my heart pretty much flew out of my throat and i shrieked, “WHAT!!!!!!” then he pulled out a ring and i said, “ARE YOU FOR REAL?” and he said, “yes!” and my brain was just like SPAZZFEST CENTRAL. so i told him, “get up! your pants are getting wet!” (how appropriate that pants were part of our engagement, amiright?!) and he laughed and replied, “not til you give me an answer!” so i said, “yes! YES! OF COURSE!” and took the ring and put it on the wrong finger, and then he stood up and said, “oh, i forgot to ask you. will you marry me?” and i was like “OF COURSE!” and my brain was like OMGOMGOMGOMG HOLY CRAP! and then we kissed under the umbrella in the rain and it was the sweetest moment in the history of time.

after that, henri said, “ok, we’ve got a schedule to keep! let’s go!” and i’m still recovering from the fact that WE GOT ENGAGED, so i just start walking with him, alternating between looking at my pretty pretty ring and saying, “we’re engaged! that’s so crazy! we’re engaged!”

soon we hit a block where, when we were first dating, this random limo pulled up to us and the driver asked if we wanted a free limo ride. now, to some people, that might sound like a super dangerous, hells-to-the-no situation. but UM HELLO FREE LIMO RIDE. so henri and i said yes and had an awesome, thirty minute posh deluxe joyride.

anyhoo, we hit that same block, and henri says, “look who it is!” and i see, walking toward us, jerry, our limo driver from the winery tours and my shopping montage!!!! HI JERRY!!!

after jerry nicely congratulates us on our engagement, he leads us to the limo! YAY LIMO RIDE!!!! we head down congress, and henri points to the paramount, where patton oswalt, aka my fave comedian evs, is playing that night, and says, “we’re heading there later!”

HOW CAN THIS PROPOSAL GET BETTER?!!

well, it does! cos jerry takes us to vespaio, where henri and i had our first date!! SENTIMENTAL TASTY BUSINESS!

since no one in the restaurant knew we just got engaged, henri and i kept giggling and whispering to each other, savoring the secret of our big news. and, of course, WE STUFFED OUR FACES WITH DELICIOUSNESS.

after dinner, jerry took us back to the paramount, where we enjoyed a totes hilarious performance by patton. i, of course, don’t remember a single joke, because my brain kept going, “YOU JUST GOT ENGAGED. HOLY SHIZZBALLS!” but i do recall that i laughed a lot.

plus, we saw our friends carter and tary in our row, so i got to text tary, “hey! we’re in your row! and also, we just got engaged!” and watch her reaction when she checked her phone. that was super duper fun!

i also called my parents (of course) and cried like a crazy person, then texted pants world with the news! sadie (my phone) got QUITE the workout, but it was the fun, happy kind, like jazzercise! for example, here’s my exchange with trish:

YAY!!! thank goodness cell phones have been invented, cos telegrams take foreeeever and you can’t use emogicons.

after the show ended, we headed over to the highball, where i had already planned on meeting up with a few folks before i knew I WAS GOING TO GET ENGAGED. it was the perfect way to end the night, celebrating with some of my fave pantsers!

(that photo was actually taken at the gibson, cos the highball was at capacity. HOLLA! i considered that an engagement present from my place of work.)

we drank and laughed and spazzed the night away, and my pants were just overwhelmed with happiness.

so much so that we had to celebrate the next night as well! and since we are obvs total grown-ups cos WE’RE ENGAGED, we did something v. serious and adult-like. WE HIT UP SIXTH STREET! you guys, i had my first flaming dr. pepper! and it was tasty! and also DANGEROUS! check out this video (the good part is around the 1:40 mark, and not just cos trish yells, “I LOVE SARAH AND HENRI!”)

yep, definitely a night to remember (and yes, i do actually remember it).

so that’s the story of how henri and i got engaged. WHOAH IT’S STILL SO WEIRD TO SAY THAT. weird and completely, perfectly and incandescently happy. i’m a lucky pants, you guys.

taken in march 2006, after we’d been dating two months. who would’ve thought these kids would get married? well, ok, i kinda did.

because yeah, i’m no sporty spice. i took a semester of high school P.E. by correspondence, for heaven’s sake (it was bowling, and no, grades were not correlated to actual skill. thank goodness). the only sports i ever watch are the football games on Friday Night Lights, and even then, the only thing i can decipher is the hotness of certain players. #33 FOREVS.

there’s only one sport that can induce me to break a sweat outside of the gym, and that sport, my pantsers, is SLOSHBALL.

in case you’re not familiar with this ancient competition of strength, endurance and debauchery, sloshball is basically like kickball but with the added bonus of a keg on second base. and, if you reach that base, you must drink a beer before moving to third.

I KNOW. IT’S GENIUS.

and so, on the sunday following thanksgiving, erica decided to revive this noble sport and gathered together all of the necessary components. allow me to walk you through them! and i mean POWER WALK, because I’M SPORTY.

1. TEAMS

the ideal sloshball player is strong, tough, determined and bursting with drinking agility. our team members all possessed… well, at least one of these qualities.

as you can easily guess, my team was the BEST. and no, not because i was on it (HA HA HAVE YOU SEEN ME TRY TO CATCH A BALL? of course not, because i don’t. and i’m talking about the trying part).

it also wasn’t because we had the cutest team member ever, MILES THE PUPPY!

our team was *actually* the best because we were lucky enough to snag these two superstars: tommy and joah!

these dudes can catch ANYTHING. like even if a ball was hurtling towards a completely different player*, and that player yelled, “GET IT TOMMY/JOAH!” one of them would swoop in and catch it.

*this player was always me.

2. A HEALTHY SENSE OF COMPETITION

as illustrated by brandy and her stick (wand?), it’s vital to the spirit of sloshball that people care about winning. or at least, pretend to care. or, bare minimum, care after a few beers.

3. APPROPRIATE UNIFORMS

this ain’t badminton, guys. you can’t play this game in petticoats and corsets! the recommended wardrobe for sloshball is something comfortable and easily cleaned (thankfully, beer doesn’t stain). eccentric socks and/or shoes are a nice touch, as exhibited by joah. i like to think those socks were the REAL source of his power, just like rainbow brite!.

4. A COMPLETE DISREGARD FOR THE LAW

don’t worry, officer, we weren’t using martini glasses OR beer mugs.

5. THE KEG

this one’s obvious, because you can’t play slosbhall without a ton of beer second base!

6. A VAGUE SET OF RULES

in general, the rules for sloshball mirror those of kickball. that is, until a few innings have been played. then, things start to get a little… hazy. so it’s important to start the game with a clear understanding of basic guidelines, like what constitutes an out and, more importantly, the answer to jenny’s question in this video:

once you have all of these components, YOU’RE READY TO PLAY! and by that i mean, YOU’RE READY TO FIGHT! cos, in the end, sloshball isn’t about athleticism, or sportsmanship. it’s about RIDICULOUS ARGUMENTS!

really, isn’t that what *all* sports are about?

just watch this video and FEEL THE EPIC POWER OF THE SLOSH:

and, can you believe it, miles slept through the whole thing!

even though things got intensity in ten cities, rest assured that sloshball only *strengthens* friendships. sure, it may test them severely, and there was one time when i thought erica was gonna punch henri in the face, but in the end, the spirit of the sport fans the flames not of rivalry, but of pantship.

see what i mean?

the next sloshball game is scheduled for march, and WHO WANTS TO BE ON MY TEAM? i promise, if a ball is coming towards us, i will totally get out of the way.

let me start by saying that, when it comes to cinema, my most favorite quality in a film is, hands down, the Shopping Montage. i mean, sure, beautiful scenery is nice, and i love to swoon over a romance as much as the next gal, but when a movie pulls out the Shopping Montage, I AM TRANSFIXED. i immediately jump to the edge of my seat, nod my head to the beat of the music and basically SALIVATE over every second of glamorous mass consumption. the clothes! the “how do i look?” turn/hair toss! the obliging salespeople! the heaps of shopping bags (complete with a hat box, which makes no sense in this day and age but really adds a nice symmetry, in my opinion)!

since i’ve forced henri to see some girlie movies over the past few years, he is WELL aware of my deeply abiding love for the shopping montage. which is why, for my birthday this year, he decided to give me MY VERY OWN SHOPPING MONTAGE!!! I KNOW!!! I TOTALLY FREAKED OUT!! like, it already happened and i am STILL FREAKING OUT!!!

the packaging of the montage plan was a piece of art in and of itself. henri gave me a dvd, and when i pressed play, a series of shopping montages began to play, from “mannequin” to “pretty woman” (obvs!) to “the brady bunch.” in other words, it was a SHOPPING MONTAGE MONTAGE. and then, at the end, the text on the screen informed me that not only would i be receiving my own shopping montage, but it would come complete with a pantser (meredith!), a limo (WHAT!!) and champers (a vital ingredient for any and all fancy pants activities, obvs). y’all my heart almost exploded with squee cos I COULD NOT BELIEVE IT!!!

so, a few weeks ago, henri and meredith showed up at my apartment, followed by a limo driven by none other than jerry, our chauffeur from the winery tour!! it was such a delightful surprise to see him again! he asked what we were doing, and i simply replied, “going SHOPPING!” and by the end of the night, he was like, “you weren’t kidding about the shopping!” oh jerry, after the winery tour, you should know that when it comes to fun, I DO NOT MESS AROUND.

i’ll stop writing and let the actual video do the montaging, but i will say that IT WAS THE BEST NIGHT EVER!!! not only did i get to try on lots of gorgeous clothes (and actually keep a few things!), but i was able experience my top favorite feelings: 1. Being Friends 2. Being Rich 3. Being In a Movie.

and now, pantsers and pantserettes, i present to you: MY SHOPPING MONTAGE!!!!!!

“BIG MISTAKE. HUGE.”

p.s. “what a feeling” is basically meredith’s and my theme song, and it RANDOMLY CAME ON THE RADIO! IT WAS LIKE A SIGN! A SIGN OF AWESOME!

p.p.s. speaking of serendipity, we ran into trish at the domain! so i finally got to say something i’ve never had the chance to: “you’re about to be MONTAGED!”

p.p.p.s. yes, henri really is the best boyfriend in the whole pants.

p.p.p.p.s. maybe next year, i can get my own battle-ready montage? that way, i could finally learn how to shoot a gun/throw a punch/climb a wall/look really badass in less than five minutes!

i realize that temperatures in iowa are, like, below 50 degrees, and the coldest it’s going to get here is only 18 degrees, but 18 DEGREES ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!!!!! y’all i live in texas for a reason! and that reason is i am a big freaking weenie! and also i like tex mex!

even though it usually doesn’t get THIS cold, every year i always end up whining about winter. not because i hate it, but because it hates ME! why else would it try to kill my plants and give my hypothermia and prevent me from being able to go to the schlitterbahn year round? that’s just MEAN.

this year, though, i’ve decided to stay positive! that’s not really a new year’s resolution or anything, but more like an excuse to write today’s entry. so, instead of complaining about cold weather, today i’ve decided to celebrate the fun things about it! hopefully, this post will help me cope with the Deathly Freezing Temperatures, and hey, maybe it will help you too! that would be nice of me, huh?

so, let’s begin!

THE GOOD THINGS ABOUT WINTER by POSH D. PANTS.

1. HOT BEVERAGES!

winter gives me an excuse to consume large quantities of hot chocolate as well as starbucks holiday themed drinks. even better, winter provides us all with an extremely valid excuse to drink adult beverages because alcohol keeps you WARM! just ask the russians! or me, cos i’m closer and readily accessible through the internet!

2. TODDLERS AND BABIES IN WINTER CLOTHES!

is there anything cuter than a little kid in a big puffy jacket?!!

yes there is! a baby in a big puffy jacket!!! now THAT is the cutest.

wait, ok, i was wrong. the most cutest thing is actually a baby in a winter outfit that makes him/her look like an animal!!!!

3. ANIMALS IN SWEATERS!

as proved by the recent 2009 poshies, I LOVE PETS IN SWEATERS!!! not only do they look super presh, they also can stay alive in freezing cold temperatures!

i realize that that’s a life jacket and not a sweater. but when i found it i was like I NEED TO USE THIS PICTURE IMMEDIATELY. so you can pretend it’s a sweater if you want to but then i think you’d be short-changing yrself cos DOGGIE LIFE JACKETS EEEEEEEEE.

and really, i should expand this item to include any kind of winter clothing item. like hats!!!

ok GET THIS: i googled “dogs in sweaters” and found the above picture… on a site literally called dogsinsweaters.com. WHAT!!!!! it’s only two pages so far but it’s two v. v. squee-inducing pages. here’s my favorite:

this photo inspired me to invent the term “OMGOL” because that’s literally what i did when i saw it. and yes, i will be over-using that phrase from now on.

4. JOKES ABOUT WINTER!

what better way to distract yrself from the fact that you apparently no longer have feet than with some hilarious jokes about winter?! you may not be able to feel frostbite occurring, but you CAN feel a good bout of laughter after hearing a great pun!

after a bit of googling, i found a treasure trove of winter jokes, and most of them were v. v. bad awesome. below, i present to you some of my faves. feel free to memorize a few (after you stop laughing, of course!!) so you too can warm yrself and yr companions with the giggles!

It was so cold… hitchhikers were holding up pictures of thumbs!

It was so cold… Grandpa’s teeth were chattering – in the glass!

Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Snow!
Snow who?
Snow business like show business!

[y'all i don't know why but THAT JOKE GAVE ME THE SERIOUS LOLZ. expect to hear it if we hang out in person. which may not ever happen now that i just said that]

Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Eddy!
Eddy who?
Eddy idea how I can cure this cold!

[that wins for cutest joke for sure!!!]

Q: Why do seals swim in salt water?
A: Because pepper water makes them sneeze!

[ok wait THAT is actually the cutest so i'm taking the prize away from the eddy one]

Q: How do you keep from getting cold feet?
A: Don’t go around BRRfooted!

Q: What do you call a reindeer with no eyes?
A: I have no eye deer.

HA HA HA HA HA. seriously, i’m laughing so hard, i don’t feel cold at all!! which also might have to do with the fact that i’m inside!

ok so… that’s all i can think of right now. oh wait here’s one more:

5. SNUGGLES!!!!!!

did i miss anything? let me know in the comments, pants world! and until then, SNOW BUSINESS LIKE SHOW BUSINESS!!!

and also KEEP YR PANTS WARM!!!!

anyhoo, today i want to discuss a strange disorder i’ve been experiencing lately. it happens seemingly at random, and with no real explanation, and it’s beginning to disturb me.

i’m talking, of course, about Crying at the Drop of a Hat Syndrome (CDHS).

seriously, y’all, WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME? it this some weird hormonal thing that happens when you turn 30? is it just the holidays? or have i simply watched enough rom coms to cause permanent damage to my brain?

more importantly, IS THERE A CURE? cos good lord it’s embarrassing when you start crying at the gym after a particularly poignant commercial about a credit card.

obvs, there are many good reasons that would cause a person to cry, but i find myself tearing up over the most ridiculous things and it makes me feel like a super cliche moody girl and UGH MAKE IT STOP.

ironically, this makes me squee, not cry.

allow me to chart my deterioration for you:

REASONABLE THINGS THAT MAKE ME CRY
“reasonable” meaning i can justify them to myself, not that they’re actually all reasonable. ahem.

1. the profiles of fallen soldiers from texas on KUT (austin public radio). obviously, these are sad and amazing and it is totally natural to tear up when you hear stories like this. right? right.

2. speaking of soldiers, this video:

thanks for the warning, anchor lady, cos i DID need a tissue while watching this clip… for the tenth time.

3. storycorps episodes on NPR. this MIGHT teeter on the brink of reasonability depending on the subject, but most of the time they’re about like, grandparents being amazing and moms with cancer and incredible teachers and GAH!! obvs i need to stop listening to the radio in the morning until i can get a grip on my CDHS.

4. really amazing, inspiring documentaries. cos that shizz is real, ya’ll.

5. when the penguin babies get left behind in “march of the penguins” and ok i know that fits under #3 but WHO WILL SAVE THE PENGUIN BABIES?!!!!!!!

i hate you, natural selection.

TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY RIDICULOUS THINGS THAT MAKE ME CRY

1. episodes of “bones.” while i’m at the gym. on the elliptical machine. esp. when i’ve actually SEEN THE EPISODE BEFORE. but GAH that christmas one, it gets me every time.

2. “love actually,” cos i’ve seen it like 50 times and OMG OPEN THE FLOODGATES.

yes, sam, i blame YOU for being too adorable.

3. totally stupid commercials that include any of the following: christmas (sans straight-up shopping), families being together, kids growing up, people making a difference, old friends reuniting and/or waxing nostalgic, kids being sweet to each other, kids getting their wishes granted, old people hanging out with kids… you get the picture.

4. those sappy videos they show during the olympics of athletes getting ready and training and yeah it’s impressive but i just get caught up in how hard they’ve worked and how far they’ve come and TEARS FALLING.

5. ok pretty much any montage that’s been engineered to make people cry makes me cry. even the freaking “these people died this year” thing at the oscars.

6. speaking of the oscars, really amazing touching award speeches!! esp. when the winner’s voice cracks and they have to stop talking cos they’re too emotional OH MAN.

ok, i reeeeally have to stop there, cos if i have to add “writing a blog entry” in as #7, i will punch my tear ducts.

so, am i the only one suffering from CDHS? or is it an epidemic?

the only cure i’ve found so far is listening to patton oswalt or watching “parks & recreation.” i haven’t yet found a permanent solution, but then again… shocking admission alert: i don’t really want to. in fact, i kinda like having CDHS!

except at the gym. maybe i need to start watching “cash cab.”

A birthday party for my dear sister, Robin:

And my dear friend Josh:

Some of you may know these people but you probably don’t. See Josh grew up in America but he now he lives in London. Robin is spending the year in Edinburgh getting her master’s degree. You see the trend, yes they have friends here but they also have friends in America who would like to celebrate with them.

Enter Matt and Lindsey and computerz:

Step 1: Stalker

Even though I’m good friends with Robin and Josh I don’t know all their friends (weird right?). So I scanned my email for the few group emails they’ve sent out and picked out the emails I didn’t know. I also scanned their facebook account for the past month or so for any activity coming from friendly voices I don’t know. Finally, I painfully went through each of their friend list and made note of the people I’ve heard them mention that I didn’t have contact details for. I made a list for each, Robin’s list was titled ‘Robin’; Josh’s list was titled ‘Josh’.

Step 2: The Plan

Have a plan before you contact people. This is my plan:

This is what we were physically doing. Pretty cool right, but more on that later. Obviously, their friends across the world can’t fly to London to play birthday for one evening. So I came up with a way for them to play with us and us to play with them.

youtube: I created a youtube account for both Robin and Josh for their friends and family to upload videos. Here’s an example:

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELL2o6Eh_b0

Step 3: Contact

I’m quite used to contact people with newsletters, etc. So I just set up a separate mailchimp account and loaded it full of Robin and Josh’s friend’s emails. And sent them instructions to create genius. And genius they did, look at what my mom did:

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x3b53iCttgU

Step 4: Party

As you can see in the map in step two, I had a pretty full day of surprises planned. I set up a website for Josh and Robin to host all their videos and a live feed of all the photos and tweets going. It really gave a little connection between us and everyone else watching around the world.

with that said, picture my EXTREME EXCITEMENT when i got the opportunity to actually BE IN ONE OF MY FAVORITE TV SHOWS EVER. like, for real, not just in my imagination!!! sweet cracker sandwich!

that’s right, i got to be an extra on “friday night lights,” aka the best show on television right now, aka DILLON PANTHERS LIONS RULE!

i think you know why i chose this picture.

see, they film the show here in austin, and yes, i’ve seen a few of the actors around town (sighting #3 of tim riggins, i mean, taylor kitsch, actually occurred this weekend, although i’m sad to report that Operation Touch His Arm was a huge fail). and now that the show is in its fourth season, two of my fellow FNL fans and i decided that it was high time we got ourselves into an episode before a) the show ends b) we become too old to pass as high schoolers.

so, along with selina and erica g., i signed up with the casting agency that manages extras for the show, and lo and behold, a week later, i got an email recruiting extras to play “college students.” um, the fact that i could’ve passed for a middle schooler when i was actually IN college means that, at age 30, i look EXACTLY like a college student. PERFECT!

so, after a series of frenzied, OMGGGG phone calls with selina and erica, we signed up! and, a few days later, WE WERE ON SET. OH SNAP!!!

if you talk to anyone that’s been an extra, they’ll tell you that it’s actually pretty boring. and they would be right except for the fact that OMG WE WERE ON THE SET OF FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS. FOR REAL. HOLY PANTS!!!!!!

and so now, dear pantsers, i proudly present to you:

A Day In the Life of a “Friday Night Lights” Extra

at precisely 1 PM, selina, erica and i arrive at the shuttle pick-up location, near a church in hyde park. a van picks us up and takes us exactly two blocks down the road, where it deposits us at another section of the church. this is the first example, to be followed by many others, of the inefficiency inherent in filming a show.

we check in, fill out some paperwork (that’s right, we got PAID! holla!) and then wait around to be taken to wardrobe, which is this trailer:

see, we were supposed to be “boston college students,” so we all had to dress warmly. even though we were standing in line in the hot texas sun. i guess that’s what you’d call the price of fame, or why celebrities complain even though their lives are actually awesome.

check out erica and selina, pretending to be in boston:

that is some serious acting shizz!

after the wardrobe lady ok-ed our outfits (yes, she had to personally approve every extra’s ensemble), we went back to the church and waited for another hour. while siting in pews, we befriended a dude who has already been an extra three times in this season alone! DANG! it was then that i discovered the secret underground world of Austin extras. like, people were comparing movie experiences like they were battle wounds. “well, when i was filming ‘machete’…” and “dude! i haven’t seen you since ‘bandslam’! how’s it going?”etc. etc. honestly i had no idea that people could support themselves just by being extras in austin (psst! they can’t!).

finally, around 3 PM, we walked a few blocks over to the old school they’re using for east dillon high. the fact that we’d done pretty much nothing all day made the three of us v. v. excited to be entering the hallowed halls where COACH TAYLOR ACTUALLY WORKS OMG!!!!!!

we got even more spastic when we spotted these signs on the side of one of the trucks in the parking lot:

RIGGINS RIGS!! OMG THAT IS WHERE TIM AND HIS BROTHER WORK!!

the signs are obviously magnetic so they can slap them on the side of a pick-up truck (or news van) depending on the shot. ahh hollywood magic!

for some highly money-wasting reason, the company decided to feed us all lunch. the food was actually kind of gross (i ate a bar instead) but i didn’t care cos WE WERE EATING IN THE EAST DILLON CAFETERIA!!!!! LOOK HERE’S THE RULES!!!!!!

east dillon means serious business, y’all.

we also got to watch the first ep of the show, which i hadn’t yet seen, and it was AWESOME. OF COURSE. plus it was a treat to watch it with members of the crew, cos they would applaud and yell at random points, which i’m guessing were either scenes they enjoyed working on and/or scenes that were frustratingly long or difficult to shoot.

as we filed out of the cafeteria, i saw LANDRY!!!! just hanging out and being all cute and nerdy and landry, no big deal!

CRUCIFICTORIOUS RULES!!!!

i really don’t like asking famous people to take photos with me, esp. when i’m a Working Professional On Set, so you’ll have to make do with the above photo. i really wish we’d seen devin [stephanie hunt] too (LOVE HER), but we did spot two new cast members, matt lauria (who i initially mistook for saracen) and jurnee smollet (super pretty!).

after lunch, we were FINALLY taken to our set for the day by way of hollywood’s finest transportation, a school bus. that’s right, extras roll in a school bus, yo!

it says a lot that erica and selina (and i) were STILL brimming with excitement, even after several hours of nothing AND getting crammed into a bus meant for small children (seriously, have school bus seats gotten smaller?).

since we were playing college students, we ended up at, you guessed it, the UT campus! where i work every day! incredible!

all of the extras were led into a lecture hall, where we learned that we’d be filming a scene with julie (yay!) and TAMI TAYLOR LIGHT OF MY LIFE!!!!! apparently, julie is doing the whole college search thing, so (v. v. light spoiler alert) her mom takes her to visit boston university, and they sit in on a lecture.

this may look like a normal lecture hall to you but IT'S MAGIC.

i am not exaggerating when i say that one of the assistant directors spent an HOUR shuffling us around the lecture hall. he would point and be like, “you, the blonde. move up two rows” or “hey, guy in the argyle sweater, scoot over one seat.” i guess he just really had a v. specific vision for how a boston university lecture hall should look.

once he had moved all of us about eighty times, we filed back out of the lecture hall so they could set up the cameras. it was actually really cool to see the lights positioned outside of the window to make it look like it was the middle of the day instead of early evening. in fact, by the time the shooting ended, it was kind of shocking to walk outside and discover that it was really 7 PM instead of two in the afternoon! oh hollywood you fool me every time!

after a little bit, they led us back into the lecture hall, which was now full of equipment and an actress playing the role of the professor:

that guy standing next to the actress was the director of the episode, and he ended up engaging in a totally random conversation with me about college admissions (his daughter is a high school senior, and that shizz is stressful, y’all).

he also apparently believes that college students never pay attention in class. we did about ten takes of the scene (maybe more?) and after each time, he was like, “I WANT MORE TEXTING! MORE LAPTOP TYPING! NO ONE SHOULD ACTUALLY BE LISTENING TO THE PROFESSOR!!! STOP PAYING ATTENTION!” wow, dude, you really have no faith in higher education, do you? no wonder you’re worried about yr daughter!

fortunately for him, erica is v. skilled at typing on her laptop while looking extremely boston university-ish:

so we did a few practice rounds of the scene before aimee teegarden (julie) and connie britton (TAMI I LOVE YOU) actually came in. obvs all three of us acted like the totally professional extras we are but OMG CONNIE BRITTON’S HAIR IS AMAZING IN PERSON. and aimee is so cute! she actually tripped as she walked down the stairs, and the poor thing was so embarrassed, i wanted to hug her! but then i probably would’ve been kicked off of the set, so, no.

LUCKY DUCK SELINA eventually got moved to the row right in front of connie, so not only did she get some quality time basking in the tami taylor glow, she is also totally gonna be in the shot when this episode finally airs (we heard nov 25th?!!). i did have one brief shining moment when the assistant director (AD in hollywood speak WHAT WHAT) ordered me to sit in connie’s chair while she was talking to the director, aka I WAS TOTALLY TAMI TAYLOR’S STAND-IN!!!!!!! CLAIM TO FAME 2009!!!!!

the scene itself consisted of the professor talking about the canterbury tales and then asking the class a question, which no one answered (we were all too busy texting, per the director) until the professor notices tami, who is apparently trying to get julie to answer the question (julie is obvs pissed and trying to ignore her mother). the prof asks tami to answer, and after initially protesting (“oh no, i’m just an observer!”), tami finally answers. END SCENE.

that’s right, “friday night lights” hired 60 extras, fed them lunch, drove them around in a schoolbus and paid them for 6 hours of work for A ONE MINUTE SCENE.

hollywood is crazy pants, y’all!!!

in spite of all of the waiting and the cray cray inefficiency, i truly enjoyed being a lowly extra. now i can say that, for once, i actually entered a world that normally exists only in my television (and in my mind. i’m looking at you, tim riggins!). on that day, dillon was actually a real place, and i went there! I WENT THERE!!!!

so if you watch the show, keep an eye out for erica, selina and me during the boston university trip! we’ll be the ones doing an amazing job at looking like super bored college students.

and, if you’ve never seen the show before, YOU NEED TO START IMMEDIATELY. otherwise i may need to end our friendship. i’m sorry but that’s how strongly i feel about the incredibleness of this series. it’s so good, i even like the football parts. now THAT is some real hollywood magic.

GO EAST DILLON LIONS!!!!!

which, btw, looks AWESOME (i thought about making a joke about how “kick ass” it will be but realized that would be only slightly more lame than not making the joke and telling you about it, which i’m doing now).

and so of course it made me wonder: if i was gonna be a superhero, who would i be? what would my special powers be like? and, most importantly, how amazing would my outfit be?!!!

first, i thought back to high school, when my friend rachel crafted one of my fave video game heroes ever (back when we were playing lots of “x-men”), kidney pie, who would kill people by reaching into their torsos, pulling out the kidney, shrieking, “KIDNEY PIE!!” and then eating it. that’s pretty much all kidney pie would do… which is more than enough to qualify as perfect, in my opinion.

second, i thought about the superhero alter-ego of my 20s, powder blue. powder blue didn’t have any specific special powers beyond a v. fine appreciation of tasty business, but she definitely liked to help people and baby animals.

so, i could keep the name powder blue, or i could use posh deluxe, but actually i think i’ll come up with a few different models cos THERE IS SO MUCH I WANT TO DO. WITH SPECIAL POWERS. so here we go!

the mac & cheesinator
power: you’re *literally* dying for mac & cheese, but there is none to be found in yr immediate vicinity. EMERGENCY!!!  just call on the mac & cheesinator, who will show up and instantly produce some tasty business (truffle oil included, obvs).
costume: orange like faux cheddar cheese! and a cool noodle hat! and sparkles!!!

so, less like this…

and maybe a little more like this…

except with more glitter!!!! and, yeah, cooler shoes.

oooh and i could have a westie sidekick!!

the time limiter
power: all of the elliptical machines at the gym are taken by sorority girls going .05 mph and they’ve obvs been on the machines for way longer than the 30 minute limit and HELLO SOME PEOPLE NEED TO GET ON BEFORE “BONES” IS OVER FOR GOODNESS SAKE. no worries. just call the time limiter, who can get even the most argumentative gym rat off a machine in ten seconds or less.
costume: actually, it would look remarkably similar to the staff shirts at my gym. except maybe with a sheriff badge or something else that looks official and intimidating. and also glitter.

karaoke girl
power: what, the local karaoke place doesn’t have that justin timberlake song you are DYING to sing RIGHT NOW? karaoke girl can get it for you! plus she does a mean ac/dc.
costume: duh JEM. JEM JEM JEM.

the wit
power: for all of those people struggling to say something clever on twitter or waiting to reply to an evite cos they can’t think of anything snappy, the wit is here to save yr day! hilarious retorts! killer facebook status updates that will generate comments for days! the wit can do it all!
costume: i’m thinking something couture and red carpet-esque. with gold glitter. and insanely awesome red lipstick.

the mockingjay
power: the world is suffering from the dreaded “twilight” disease, and the mockingjay has the cure! this fierce superhero can instantly transform a copy of any book from the “twilight” series into “the hunger games” thereby spreading the awesomeness of katniss and peeta over the entire planet and ridding us of the sparkly vampire plague.
costume: a regular outfit that’s ON FIRE.

the mighty pants
power: ADDING PANTS TO THINGS OF COURSE!!!! cos the world needs more pants. in particular, lady gaga. and also adjectives.
costume: GLITTER PANTS!!!! and a top. obvs. maybe like mj’s outfit in the “rock with you” video! YES!!!!

with an outfit like that, the mighty pants will be revered by all!!!

i could think of a lot more, but most of them would involve the miraculous production of tasty business, which might get repetitive (for you, not for me, obvs. i mean, i could wax poetic about the Fryonator [instantly deep fries any item you choose] and Miss PB [adds peanut butter to any chocolate item you're about to consume] all day long). SO i’ll stop here and turn it over to you guys.

if you were a superhero, what would be yr ideal way to save the day? and omg what would you wear?!!!

LINKS

not only did this npr story on thomas keller (french laundry chef) make me INSANELY HUNGRY, it also made me want to hang out with him. and share a jar of skippy.

speaking of great stories on npr, check out this exploration of eponyms (what up SAT word!). btw mary frisbie? coolest name ever.

if you haven’t seen the promo for james franco on “general hospital,” you need to watch this IMMEDIATELY. also, i can’t stop saying, “an artist whose canvas is MURDER!” in a really dramatic voice.

so.

can anyone please tell me WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH THESE SHORTS?

you guys THESE SHORTS ARE EVERYWHERE.

maybe you don’t work on a college campus, so you’re not aware of the fact that the V. EXISTENCE OF PANTS is being threatened by these shorts. but IT IS!!! and you know i’m serious cos i just used bold and i NEVER DO THAT.

literally every female college student in america today owns at least one pair of these shorts, and i think they’re made of some kind of high tech fabric that brainwashes you into thinking that shorts are appropriate for any and all occasions. class? shorts! meetings? shorts, of course! meals? what else but shorts?! formal galas? SHORTY SHORT SHORTS!!

i realize that college students could care less about couture, and that i should applaud them for simply getting out of bed and getting to class. but i’m a cranky old lady now, which means i’m allowed to say BACK IN MY DAY, WE AT LEAST HAD THE DECENCY TO WEAR PAJAMA PANTS TO CLASS!

given this incredibly dire and possibly apocalyptic situation, i feel it is my duty to stand up and defend pants against these nike monstrosities.

and so today i am asking for yr help. i am asking you to join the cause and SUPPORT PANTS! help us win the fight against athletic shorts world domination!

VIVA LA PANTS!

p.s. i’ve already found a fellow crusader in georgia, so THE RESISTANCE IS GROWING!

LINKS

matt clued me in to this SUPER COOL map of twitter trends. it’s nice to know that texas tweeters are really into the “hump” tag. YEE-HAW!

leslie sent me this PLEASE-LET-IT-BE-REAL video of a baby dancing to “single ladies.”

i have recently discovered my dream home and will be moving there as soon as it is completed. beginning in spring 2010, please send all mail to:

posh d. luxe
harry potter theme park
universal studios, florida 7something

SERIOUSLY YOU GUYS THIS IS GONNA BE A REAL PLACE!!! look it even has a website so you KNOW it’s legit, cos the internet makes things real.

obvs i’d read about this possibility a while back, but then there was this recession thing and twilight fans started hating on the jk and ron got swine flu and i was REALLY WORRIED that voldemort was still alive and using dark magics to defeat universal studios.

but whatevs, voldy! turns out even massively powerful evil wizards don’t stand a chance against massively powerful multi-million dollar corporations! actually, that kind of scares me, now that i think about it.

anyway CHECK OUT MY NEW DIGS:

YOU GUYS!!!!! i’m gonna read books in hogwarts! and eat in the dining hall! and chillax with hagrid in his hut! i’m gonna be SUCH hogsmeade village scenester!!!!!

did i mention i’ll be able to fly on a hippogriff?!!

actually, that looks kind of lame. nevermind.

you can find out more about all of this amazingness by reading this article, but i gotta share with you one more highlight:

At The Owl Post, guests can send letters with a certified Hogsmeade postmark.

that’s right, gang. when you get a letter from me, IT WILL ACTUALLY BE FROM HOGSMEADE. like, the post office is CERTIFYING THAT SHIZZ. in fact, you should probably find a shoe box so you can start storing our correspondence cos my postmarked letters are gonna be something you want to give to yr grandchildren.

austin, you’ve been great and all, but let’s just say you’re not as *magical* as my new place (WINK WINK). i can’t wait to move and start my new life! like, i could get married in the main hall of hogwarts! and then when i have kids they’ll go to school there! i mean, assuming they’re not muggles. hmmm. i may need to marry oliver wood just to make sure they’re at least half bloods.

wait a second…

oh man. i just realized that i sound exactly like a renfest person. crap.