Poshdeluxe

today was a totally different day than the usual monday.

and you know why? because i had a dentist appointment! and because of the butterfly effect!

ok, well, the latter is on my mind cos i just watched the season premiere of “heroes” which insured that i will never, ever, ever watch that show again. but momma patrelli kept repeating “BUTTERFLY EFFECT!” and so now it’s on repeat in my brainery.

i realize that a dentist appointment is not particularly exciting (esp. when you’re an adult and there’s no lollipop or, from the less hypocritical dentists, a treasure chest of tiny plastic toys involved). but the *consequences* of my appointment totally changed my entire day (see? BUTTERFLY EFFECT).

so i left work at 10:30 for my appointment, which meant that i had to ride my bike home to get thomas, which meant that i went back home before going back to work, which meant that i was at home for lunch.

you guys. I ATE LUNCH AT HOME! which i never do! it was totally awesome! i felt like i was playing hookie from school.

and then… i rode stanley (new-to-me bike, care of my awesome dad, sorry peabody RIP) back to work, which meant i was out in the world! at 12:50 PM! which is so weird and crazy!

all of a sudden, the day felt like no other before it.

as i rode past the video store and the fried food smells of a nearby icehouse, i realized that this whole other world exists and moves and spins around while i’m sitting each day at my desk. ok, ok, i can feel a “big duh” hurtling my way but seriously! it was a glorious, sun-drenched revelation! suddenly, my day was encompassed by a bigger day, everyone’s day, and that connection woke me out of a routine-induced haze.

here’s the thing– i love my routine. i find great comfort in it. but i guess today reminded me that it’s fun, exhilarating even, to change things up a little bit (ok, has my blog suddenly become the most boring, oprah-ish site ever? sorry!!!). all it took was one little dentist appointment to shift the entire angle of my day… different sounds, different smells, i felt like i was noticing everything for the first time! even the shadows rolling under stanley’s wheels were completely foreign. i could’ve been biking towards a completely different job– i could’ve been a completely different person! that’s how bizarre and curious and exciting today felt.

or, as henri put it in an email, “Getting the random break of home is always a nice change of rhythm for the day, and it’s nice to surprise your furniture and be like, ‘Guess what? I’m here!’”

from now on, i think i’ll try to change up my routine a little bit, at least once a month (ambitious, yes). maybe i’ll bike home for lunch sometimes. or maybe i’ll get up early and have a bagel at einstein’s or a breakfast taco at foodheads before i go to work. which was already my favorite non-routine thing to do, even before i wrote this entry!

i always feel so cosmo when i go out to breakfast before work, like i’m a new york working woman or something (seriously, i think this). it’s also nice to have time to wake up and reflect and face the day in a place other than my bathroom so that, when i finally walk into the office, it feels like i’ve had time to settle into myself before i settle into my desk chair.

i realize this is a bit of a ramble but it really has been something good for me to think about. i’m always interested in little routes towards more magic, you know?

LINKS

this interview with gloria steinem and suheir hammad is a MUST read. quoth gloria: “there is no postfeminism—it’s like saying ‘post-democracy’!” (thanks, selina, for the link!).

new favorite thing ever: LOL cookie monster!!!!! (thank you, j., for making my day).

vulture finally proposes a few (good) answers the question that’s been plaguing my mind for quite a while now: who will write the theme song for ghostbusters 3?!!!! speaking of, bill murray totally said he’s in… at fantastic fest, no less! henri, did you ask him this question?!!!!

coolest (creepiest) science photo, ever.

seriously, these tina fey/sarah palin skits are making me cry. from laughter. or depression. it’s hard to tell.

OMG LOOK AT POSH’S NEW SHOES SWEET CRACKER SANDWICH.

i’ve always felt like sleeping is kind of lame (even though i love it), then i read this NYT article about how sleep helps you to be more creative. my only question: when is UT gonna install nap pods like google?

YOU GUYS LOOK AT THISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

it’s a BABY TURTLE!!! HE WAS JUST BORN!!! HE IS SO TINY!!

he doesn’t have a name, though!! isn’t that weird? what’s UP with that, bristol zoo?

so i have decided to call him squeebie.

squeebie is actually an endangered chinese box turtle, which makes me love him even more cos when i was in elementary school, i did a project on box turtles and learned all kinds of things, none of which i remember.

staring at squeebie for hours led me to fond memories of my various school projects, especially those that involved a history/science fair backboard (what are those called? teachers help me out). my all time favorite was probably “amish: unplugged,” the history fair project i did with talena (right?) and leanna in high school, when i was obviously extraordinarily clever and creative about titling things. then there was my report on hummingbirds in the second (?) grade, which involved me cutting pictures out of national geographic. ahh, how i long for the days when pasting magazine clippings to paper meant writing a report! “hey boss, here’s that statistical report you asked for… watch out for that newsweek clipping, cos i don’t think the elmer’s is dry yet.”

actually, i don’t really long for those days, cos i hate cutting things. seriously. i remember in the first grade, we did a “scissors exercise” where we had to cut a long spiral out of a sheet of paper, and i totally screwed it up. like, i literally FAILED scissors. it still haunts me TO THIS DAY. have you guys ever seen that movie “dead again” with kenneth branagh and emma thompson and andy garcia?

well the main idea is that emma thompson has this MASSIVE fear of scissors, and she eventually discovers that it’s because she was stabbed by scissors in a former life.

i don’t think my phobia is that extreme, but still.

ANYWAY

the POINT

the point is, i was thinking about those history fair projects and reports and how much i miss learning random information packaged in the classroom format, like that whole “the more you know!” thing that makes me feel like i will become a shooting star if i complete one more workbook. obvs, i’m inundated with useless information all day via the internet, so i don’t need more of that. but what about those science experiments that taught me how to create cool stuff, like green slime or salt crystals? or those “culture” meals where people brought food from greece or the romans or whatever and you wore a toga sheet and got to feel like you were learning something while eating? i miss that!

therefore, i’ve decided to create a new segment on my blog. i’ve been toying with it for a while actually, although i haven’t quite settled on a name. i’m leaning towards “the area of my expertise pants” but we’ll see. anyway, here’s the main premise: every week (well, maybe), i’ll talk with a friend about a random area of their expertise (and maybe expand it to things people personally want to learn more about). like, i’ll ask josh about fantasy baseball or john about video games. i plan on this segment having a video portion as well, where i try to learn how to do whatever it is… or at least, illustrate my grasp on the subject. through this series, i hope to add a little bit of education to pants world, you know, higher learning. the pursuit of knowledge. becoming better people through ending ignorance. that sort of thing.

in the interviews, i’ve been asking people about their expertise, and while i may utilize their responses for an entry, i may talk to them about something totally different. so, regardless of whether or not you have been interviewed yet, start thinking about yr future Report on Some Area of Expertise.

and yes, this is me, officially giving you homework. so, start clipping! photocopy the encyclopedia! dig out the microfiche! we’s gonna get educated!

squeebie says feel free to leave yr thesis proposals in the comments section. he’s so excited about learning! cos he’s a baby! he has to figure out the world! he needs yr help!

LINKS

OMG!! bigfoot has been found!!! i’m not kidding!! this could be real! i mean… maybe? but if so, that means bigfoot is dead. dude. the hendersons are gonna cryyyyyy.

wow, this is really a Mythical Creatures News Day, cos a cop just found a chupacabra too!!! and it’s on video! and you know video never lies!

even if you watch NONE of the olympics, please please please watch this video of swimmer ryan lochte, the only olympian, i’m sure, who wears a diamond grill. A DIAMOND GRILL, PEOPLE.

dude, WHY does mandy moore get to live out all of my teenage fantasies, including ryan adams writing a secret, lovelorn message to her on his website?!! GAH SHE IS SO LUCKY. i’d want to kill her if i didn’t want to be her friend so badly.

cake wrecks continues to make my day with this grand theft auto creation (for a four year old!).

speaking of badass desserts, food party presents “rock the cradle of love” dessert, featuring a pink liquor goo and barbie legs. SO AWESOME.

jake gyllenhall, totally ripped for “prince of persia.” meredith’s not a fan, whereas i’m not a a HUGE fan, but, you know, i bet reese could get a lot of jars opened around the house.

facebook is #1, bitches!

i want to let you know right now that today’s post will not be nearly as intellectual and fascinating as the comments yesterday’s post generated. you guys are so SMART and THOUGHTFUL! i love you!!

today i’m going to talk about this new thing apple launched recently for the iphone– the app store.

the app store has basically elevated sadie, a beloved member of the deluxe family, to another level. i mean, i already knew she was awesome, but now she’s, like, NOT FROM THIS PLANET AWESOME. she’s like, the christian bale of phones. the “you’ve got mail” of apple devices. it’s like how, you might consider warrant a fun hair metal band, but then you watch the video for “heaven” and realize that the lead singer is actually an angelic being.

now that the app store exists, sadie is like that guy. except with less hair.

here’s how it works: the apps basically transform sadie into different things. she’s like mystique!! but not evil!!

there’s this button that i press that takes me to the store on sadie’s screen, and then i can look at all of the applications. lots of them are free, and so far i haven’t paid for any yet.

here’s what i have so far (you guys, this is AMAZING!!!):

light saber: sadie is a light saber!!!!!!!! and you can swish her through the air and make light saber sounds!

scribble: sadie is an etch a sketch!!!! you can draw on the screen with yr finger and then turn it over and shake to erase!

shazam: sadie is suddenly a musical genius!! she can hear a song and then tell you who sings it and the name!!! I AM NOT KIDDING!

my lite: sadie is a flashlight! and this crazy technicolor flashing thing i can wave at dance parties!!

magic 8 ball: sadie can tell my fortune!! she knows the future!

bubble wrap: sadie is suddenly covered in bubble wrap, which, as previously discussed, I LOVE TO POP.

rotary dialer: sadie is an old fashioned phone! except… i don’t know anyone’s number, so… yeah.

anyway, i find all of this HIGHLY amusing, esp. when i’m on the bus. in fact, if we hang out soon, i will undoubtedly end up trying to fight you with my light saber. just ask henri, my parents, erica…

of course, i have some ideas for even MORE incredible apps, in case apple is interested.

espresso finder: sadie tells me the nearest location of espresso, and she filters out gas stations and mcdonald’s.

mac ‘n’ cheese locater: much like the espresso finder, sadie directs me to the nearest purveyor of mac ‘n’ cheese business.

squee: sadie immediately provides me with a squee, whether in the form of a cute puppy video, a baby picture or a three year old explaining harry potter.

name that: sadie gives the title of a movie, song or book that i am desperately trying to remember. i will give her the info i know (”there’s a girl who works in a kitchen, and a guy who’s a dogwalker…”) and then she’ll give me the answer so i can sleep at night!

white noise: sadie emits white noise to drown out annoying people around me, like the girl who always talks REALLY LOUD on her cell while riding the bus and says things like, “he’s so retarded, he can’t even get UNRETARDED,” which is actually a pretty great quote.

marauder’s map: like the enchanted map in harry potter, sadie shows me where all of my friends are! and not just, like, “houston, texas” but actual dots of matt and meredith inside of warren’s downtown!

umbrella: sadie is an umbrella!!!! ok, i know this is a stretch, but MAN, it would be great.

i’ll let you know when apple gets back to me on this.

in the meantime, what kind of app suggestions do you guys have?

LINKS

THE NEW HARRY POTTER TRAILER COMES OUT TONIGHT!!! and you can see a preview of the young voldemort here, who happens to be ralph fiennes’ nephew, which makes sense. cos the ability to look like evil incarnate is probably genetic.

josh duty has discovered the BEST THING EVER TO EXIST, and it’s called food party. and it features puppets and food and just… just watch it. it is AMAZING. this is so what i’m doing for my 30th birthday.

sisterhood of the traveling pants 2 premiered last night, and everyone looked fabulous and i am SO JEALOUS COS I WANT TO HANG OUT WITH THEM!!!!

vulture has a mini-review of the new r. kelly album, and it is predictably awesome and ridiculous.

dude. you guys. every single bennigan’s in the country is now closed. immediately. that is CRAZY. i mean, i can’t remember the last time i went to bennigan’s, but it’s, like, an american institution! what’s next, chili’s? this country is going to hell in a handbasket.

check out the new chromeo video!