Archive for the 'alamoing' Category

fantastic fest 2008: hipsters and former presidents

Published by
Sarah
September 23, 2008 in alamoing and cray. 22 Comments

in addition to providing me with a weekend full of movies to watch, i can always depend on fantastic fest to give me at least ONE good story that i will tell and re-tell until everyone has heard it a billion times and i have to stop telling it out of fear of paying for several surgeries due to excessive eye rolling.

this year, i got TWO stories.

first up: the hipster boat party

after the success of the white party and the pirate party, henri’s been itching for a reason to rent out a boat again. along came “donkey punch,” a movie about a bunch of hipsters murdering each other on a yacht, and boom, excuse received!

with the help of fernando, the Ultimate Hipster, henri concocted a party out of the following:

1) a bunch of film nerds

2) austin’s most sceney scenesters

3) a boat

4) loud DJ beats

as you can imagine, the result was *quite* a spectacle.

here’s caitlin, christi, meredith and friend (sorry friend! i don’t know yr name!). caitlin and meredith, being both film geeky AND cool, served as a bridge over the great cultural divide.

matt and meredith had all of the right ingredients in their hipster wardrobe: scarves, fedoras, american apparel tights, cowboy boots and cheap beer.

my favorite matt quote of the night: “these are the skinniest jeans i have. but on this boat, they’re, like, hammer pants.”

as matt noted, there was some Serious Fashion on this boat. oh and lots of tattoos.

i don’t even know what to say about this couple, but she gets major points for carrying around a long stem cigarette holder (not pictured, unfortunately).

and then there were these weirdos.

as you can imagine, the film nerds were a little taken aback by all of this pageantry. but, when in doubt, the best thing you can do is dance, and that is exactly what everyone did.

it was a gorgeous night, with the austin skyline glowing behind us and cool breezes carrying the music straight into the rooms at the nearby hyatt (sorry erica!!!!!).

and the best part? no one was murdered!

my second story occurred on friday night, which quickly became one of the funnest and most surreal nights of my entire life.

it all began with a phone call from tim (alamo owner) to henri: “do you want to go to uchi with bill pullman?”

uh… WHAAAAAAA.

ok honestly i was kind of more excited about the prospect of eating at uchi than bill pullman, even though i do love him (mostly for being in “newsies” but also for playing the president in “independence day”).

so we went to uchi! with bill pullman! and it was so fun! he told us about his fruit tree orchard and henri and i told him about random alamo events, like the bat cave before batman. and we ate DELICIOUS UCHI FOOD. he was exceedingly easy to talk to, and also super good with names, which i really admire.

did i mention that he rode to uchi in thomas? thomas was totally starstruck.

but the night wasn’t over! hours later, he came over to henri and me at the karaoke party and told us that he wanted to have a party! in his suite! at the driskell!

sweet cracker sandwich!

so we rounded up some alamo staff and random fantastic fest folks and trooped over to his room! caitlin and i actually walked over with him, and after i remarked that his suite “is the kind of place where presidents stay” (ya’ll, it was POSH), he replied, “or people that PLAYED presidents!” HAR HAR HAR bill pullman i love you.

here’s a picture we took in the presidential suite. note the presence of his camera– he took pictures of us, too! we are totally friends!

the party was a smashing success, and bill (FIRST NAME BASIS muhahaha) actually had to kick people out around 5 AM or so. but he kept a few of us around so we could take him to eat, cos he was hungry. he repeatedly exclaimed, “THIS IS SO FUN! I’M HAVING THE BEST TIME!”

sounds like someone ELSE i know… ahem.

we walked to katz’s, where the waitstaff proceeded to ogle bill pullman for our entire meal. in fact, at the end of our breakfast (?), our waiter came over with two cds and said, “i’m sorry, i know this is weird but uh i couldn’t pass up this oppotunity to give you some of my work.” uhhh AWKWARD. the best part is that one of the cds is simply labeled “butthole surfers.”

though he graciously received them, bill didn’t keep them, which means i may have some potentially excellent blog material…

to be honest, it was reeeeally hard to sit around a diner with bill pullman and not burst into “king of new york.” but i managed to surpress my newsies insticts. because i have dignity.

my favorite part of the night was the following conversation:

sarah: i haven’t been to katz’s in aaaages!

bill: when was the last time you were here?

sarah: uh, for my birthday. two years ago.

bill: why did you come here on yr birthday?

sarah: well… because… um, my birthday was themed around my favorite movie… which… is… “you’ve got mail.”

bill: [explosion of laughter] YOU’VE GOT MAIL IS YR FAVORITE MOVIE?!!!!

sarah: DUDE, you were in “while you were sleeping,” so shut up!

bill: touché, touché.

around 7 AM, as the sun began to rise, we walked bill pullman back to his hotel. he alternated between exclaiming what a good time he had and teasing me for liking “you’ve got mail.”

it was the perfect surreal ending to a perfectly surreal and amazing night.

LINKS

these pet ads are amazing. now i want a puppy even more, so i can buy him/her products!!!

check out dolly parton on ellen. LOVE HER.

this is a pretty interesting article on the changing stats of abortions in this country.

fantastic fest 2008: posh picks and pan(t)s

Published by
Sarah
September 22, 2008 in alamoing and culturelux. 11 Comments

i’m paler than usual this morning, thanks to basically spending the entire weekend inside a darkened movie theater for fanastic fest 2008.

this is my second year to experience the festival, which is basically a mix of horror, kung fu and weird little independent films. i didn’t think i could top last year, but oh LORDY was i wrong. i could barely HANDLE the awesomeness, much of which was due to the presence of matt and meredith, who decided to buy badges this year. in spite of the fact that meredith has subscribed to fangoria since she was seven months old while the mere sight of someone losing a finger on screen forces me to assume the fetal position, we managed to actually watch a few movies together!

meredith, being a professional reviewer, takes notes during the films. i, however, choose to devote my entire attention to queso fries. therefore, these reviews will be short but impassioned, cos i LOVED almost every single movie. for more in-depth information via the fantastic fest site, click on the title of the movie.

zack and miri make a porno

i was really, really hoping that this movie would be good, cos my “clerks”-inspired love for kevin smith continues to endure in spite of, like, his last three movies. and guess what?!! it’s AWESOME!! it’s hilarious and sweet and just a really amazing blend of raunchy and tender. there were a TON of moments when i was laughing out loud, and that hasn’t happened since… “super bad”?

afterwards, kevin smith came on the stage for the Q&A, and i wanted to hug him EVEN more than i did after that scene in “catch & release” when he tries to commit suicide. seriously, this movie is great. i give it three and half pants out of four!

repo! the genetic opera

you guuuuys this movie was soooo baaaaaaaad. SO BAD. and yeah, i realize that a goth musical about organ enhancement has a lot of obstacles to overcome in order to be “good,” but still. it has anthony stewart head (giles!!!) in it!!! and sarah brightman!!! and the visuals look amazing!! and paris hilton is in it! ok, well, that’s like minus a point. but still. after i watched the trailer, i thought, “hey! maybe this will be really awesome in a totally campy, terrible way!”

well, i was right about the terrible thing. while the visuals were pretty cool (although a little bit 90s NINish), the songs were HORRENDOUS. maybe if the movie hadn’t taken itself so seriously, it could have succeeded in that rocky horror sort of direction, but ugh. total fail. even anthony stewart head’s gorgeous voice couldn’t save this movie for me (although the director’s unzipped fly during the Q&A certainly lifted my spirits).

i would give this movie a half a pant, but sarah brightman’s creepy eyes (robotic transplants) bump it up to a full pair.


i think we’re alone now

in case you’re wondering, yes, that is tiffany. and the man next to her, jeffery deane turner, is her stalker! yay!

this documentary focuses on two different people, turner and kelly mccormick, a transgendered person, who are both deeply, deeply, deeply obsessed with tiffany. it’s a *fascinating* exploration of celebrity worship and mental illness, alternating between hilarious and sad. turner has asberger’s, while kelly battles the demons of her two genders (not to mention a terrible biking accident as a child). the film does a wonderful job at revealing their idiosyncracies without making any jokes at their expense.

check out the trailer here.

as a side note, meredith and i totally considered ourselves tiffany fans (although, un, not stalkers) until we saw this movie. now we just think she’s skanky.

seriously. find a way to see this movie. three and a half out of four pants!

the chaser

this is the closest i got to a scary movie all weekend.

“the chaser,” a korean film, follows a serial killer and the pimp who pursues him to avenge the death of several call girls. this film was AMAZING. i don’t want to say more about the plot, because the twists and turns are one of the reasons the movie is so intense, not to mention disturbing.

you can watch the trailer here (it’s in korean, but you can get the gist).

the cinematic mastery exhibited in this movie amplified every moment, every feeling to the point that i pretty much strangled my armrest to death as i vascillated between mortal fear and angry frustration (apparently, the director is not a fan of the bureaucratic police system in korea). by the end of the film, my heart was pretty much a raw and bleeding mess.

so yeah, this isn’t exactly a mood lifter. but it’s gorgeous and dark and will get totally effed up when america remakes it so do yrself a favor and see it in its original incarnation.

fighter

OMGGGG YOU GUYS THIS MOVIE IS MY FAVORITE!!!! SWEET CRACKER SANDWICH!!!!!!!

see, this is why i love fantastic fest. while meredith can be in the theater next door watching someone get (artfully) dismembered, i can squee myself silly watching a danish kung fu version of “bend it like beckham.”

semra turan, a real life (and totally beautiful, hello amazing eyelashes) martial arts expert, plays aicha, a muslim girl in denmark who must reconcile her love for kung fu with her family and cultural obligations. this film is sweet and honest without ever being saccharine, not only due to the excellent acting but also because of some gorgeous, kickass fight scenes. you can thank xian gao, the choreographer from “crouching tiger, hidden dragon” for that (and yeah, that’s him in the picture, playing aicha’s instructor).

WATCH THIS TRAILER IMMEDIATELY. you don’t need english when you can feast yr eyes on this amazing fight choreography! not to mention semra turan’s face-burning awesomeness!!!

i really, really, REALLY hope this film gets picked up for distribution in the us. and when it does, i’m totally inviting everyone over!!! kung fu slumber party!!

well, that’s it for the reviews. tomorrow i’ll tell you more about the magic that happened *outside* of the theater.

LINKS

this frank rich column on “truthiness” in the mccain campaign is a must read.

ditto on this aaron sorkin-penned encounter between obama and president jed bartlet.

when stephen hawking makes a clock, you know it’s going to be pretty much the most mind-blowing clock in the world. not to mention kiiiiinda creepy.

charlie kaufman + philip seymour hoffman = synedoche, new york = amazing.

babar!!!!

i love the new killers song. i think cos it kind of sounds like old school erasure.

the next time cakespy creates a trompe l’oeil, i SO need to be invited. salads made out of sugar? yes please.

how i learned to be batman, minus the saving people part

Published by
Sarah
July 21, 2008 in alamoing and voyages. 7 Comments

as you guys know, i was REALLY excited about seeing the new batman movie. in fact, given the key elements– christian bale’s hotness, heath ledger’s cray cray joker, AWESOME action sequences– i didn’t think it was possible that i could be MORE excited about this film. i mean, without endangering my health (i.e. sarah explosion).

but i was wrong. I WAS WRONG. leave it to the alamo to make my dark knight experience even MORE amazing than i thought possible.

“how?!! HOW?” you may cry out in curiosity.

by taking me, along with a group of other v. v. lucky people, to a bat cave!! and not just a regular old bat cave, but bracken cave, home of the largest colony of mammals IN THE WORLD. i am not kidding.

it’s located just outside of san antonio, which meant BUS TRIIIIIIP!!!

the drive took us about an hour and a half, but no one minded. the excitement was PALATABLE, as evidenced by zack’s face:

plus, henri put together a fantastic pre-show to get us even more hyped up for the movie– old episodes of the batman TV show, clips from the tim burton “batman” and, of course, some sing-along action. because you can’t see christian bale in a movie without hearing the rousing chorus of “santa fe” in yr head…


i love that i have a boyfriend who will actually sing along to a “newsies” number, even if he doesn’t know all of the words and pulls a little garth/bohemian rhapsody.

once we exited the bus, we were greeted by the “real” bat man, this guy:

he told us a little bit about the cave, but i got distracted when the alamo staff came out with some appetizers. it’s ok, though, cos all of that info is on the internet if i ever need it.

the staff set up tables right near the cave so we would be ready whenever the bats decided to emerge. i mean, how often do you get to enjoy a posh meal next to the world’s largest bat colony? NEVER!! ok, well, unless you’re bruce wayne.

right behind those tables is this view of the cave:

it kind of smells like bat poo, but you get used to it. esp. when there is champers to distract you!

not to mention tasty, tasty little appetizers.

and a “make yr own” mojito bar!! holy crap. no wonder the bats like to hang out here.

it’s really fun to crush the mint and the lime together, like you’re actually *working* for yr drink. and not just, you know, pouring it.

as you can see, henri and caitlin are mojito professionals.

we sat down for the next course, which was a delicious chilled summer tomato and carrot soup with crab. at this point, i felt sorry for the bats, cos there is no way mosquitoes taste this good.

while we were eating, the “bat man” walked around and talked to us about bats. sorry, bats, but you’re just not as interesting as my soup. don’t take it personally.

this picture of baby bats did, however, get my attention. cos i usually LOVE all things baby but… gross.

fortunately, it is really, really hard for me to lose my appetite. same for henri.

i have to give major props to the alamo cooking/serving staff. they always do a great job, but for this event, they were making a gourmet meal… next to a bat cave. in the middle of nowhere.

next time i go camping, i am sooo inviting john bullington, the head chef.

cos LOOK AT THIS!!!!!

seared tuna with baby squashes (now THIS is the kind of baby i adore) and tasty, tasty orzo. in fact, the orzo was SO good that zack got us a huge second helping.

i think the smell of our food wafted over to the cave, cos suddenly, the bats decided they were hungry!! HUNGRY FOR OUR BLOOD!! ok, no, not really. that would not actually make for a pleasant evening.

but they were HUNGRY FOR BUGS!! and if i was a bug, i would’ve been really, really terrified.

it’s difficult to really grasp the sheer multitude of the bats in a picture, which is why flossie took this fantastic video for you:

wow, right?!! the sight of all of these bats pouring forth from the mouth of the cave was simply extraordinary, not to mention surreal. i mean, i’ve seen this in movies before but… i was there! the bats could’ve pooed on me if they wanted to!!! which is kind of scary now that i think about it.

there were SO many bats that, after awhile, they started to feel normal. kinda like when i went to alaska with my parents, and there were bald eagles all over the place. it’s weird to see a bald eagle and go “meh.”

yep, just yr average alamo evening. drinking wine and watching a gazillion bats.

there are actually three viewing areas for the cave, so henri and i walked over to the “side” view to catch more of the bat action.

apparently, bats have this pet peeve about people talking when they’re trying to eat. i can relate.

as the bats continued to stream out, we walked to the third view point, which is directly over the mouth of the cave. you can see the people on the other side, where we started out:

it’s truly a strange sight to look up at the sky and see millions of bats fluttering over you, all while emitting that eerie squeaking sound. you have to remind yrself that they aren’t just birds.

i mean, wow!


i took this picture for my dad, who likes to stop and read all of the signs whenever we go anywhere with signs.

the stream of bats began to diminish to a mere trickle, which was good, cos i had DESSERT BUSINESS TO ATTEND TO.

that’s blackberry and chocolate mouse with a chocolate-y waffle thing and crystalized ginger. MMM GET IN MY TUMMAH.

i swear, this was so delicious, it would turn bats away from bugs forever. as demonstrated by thomas, it was “plate lickin’ good!”

apparently, there are some bats who aren’t “dusk people,” and so a big cloud of sleepyheads emerged from the cave right after we finished dessert.

if henri was a bat, he would run with this crew.

as the sun set, a group of us decided to investigate the “end” of the cave, which is a small hole housed under an old shed.

you GUYS. IT SMELLED SO BAAAAAD AUUUUGHHHH. like, i probably got cancer when i took this picture, so i hope you’re happy.

i seriously cannot believe that we even got CLOSE to that stinky, stinky hole. but we did, and i have video proof. it’s totally the next “cloverfield,” except with bat poo instead of a giant scary monster.

honestly, i’m amazed we survived. you know, when they show batman just chillaxing with his bats, he’s never, say, wrinkling his noise or going “OMG THIS IS SO GROSS.” so much for REALISM, batman!

anyway, we got back on the bus and headed to the theater to watch the movie, which of course TOTALLY BLEW MY PANTS AWAY INTO A MILLION PIECES ALL OVER THE UNIVERSE.

so thanks, alamo, for yet ANOTHER spectacular night when i find myself thinking, “i cannot BELIEVE i get to to do this.” i really am a lucky, lucky girl. not only did i get to eat tasty food and see lots of bats, but i also learned a lot.

like the fact that bat poo smells really, really bad.

i don’t know how batman takes it. i guess that’s what makes him a superhero.

POSH! PANTS! SMASH!

Published by
Sarah
June 5, 2008 in alamoing and culturelux. 10 Comments

last night, because i am a lucky girl, i got to see a sneak preview of the new “incredible hulk” movie!!!

i don’t know about you guys, but from the trailers, i thought this movie looked like it was gonna be WAY better than the one that came out a few years ago (which i did not see, since the preview gave me a glimpse of the craptacularness). and it was!! it was super fun!

i mean, it’s no “iron man,” but it does have a lot going for it. such as:

1) edward norton, who manges to be extremely hot while looking totally average. i have no idea how he does this, which i guess is part of his charm. but i think he should write a book so that other average-looking guys can benefit from his wisdom.

2) liv tyler, who is so so so so pretty. to me, she will always be an elf princess. or the girl from empire records. either way, she’s marvelous.

3) LOTS OF DESTRUCTION. dude, the hulk causes MASSIVE damage.

4) this one scene that i will not spoil for you but is SO AWESOME OMG.

the alamo hosted the preview, which of course featured a lot of extra bonuses. such as, TIM ROTH WAS THERE IN PERSON! and even though i don’t really sit around and think about tim roth ever, it was neat-o to see him inside of a theater that i frequent. caitlin pointed out that he looks really evil when he’s just being a nice guy. even when he’s smiling and joking around with an 8 year old, he looks like he’s about to gnaw the kid’s face off. which i guess is why he’s always cast as the villain.

there was also a HUGE STATUE of the hulk in the lobby.

note how well my outfit coordinates with the hulk’s ensemble, except in a more feminine, less torn way. yeah, i planned that. NERD ALERT.

another bonus? henri painted himself green.

HENRI! SMASH! BODY PAINT!

oh yes, he smeared green paint all over his entire body. and then ran around the lobby and the parking lot looking like a smaller, less bulging but no less fierce version of the hulk:

as you can guess, i did not allow him to touch me or my clothing in any way.

in spite of his girlfriend’s reaction, henri managed to inspire much amazement (people took pictures with him) and even awe, esp. from this little boy:

his face was frozen like that for literally a full two minutes. i couldn’t tell if he was going to run away or hug henri’s legs, thereby smearing green paint all over himself and becoming “mini-hulk.”

the theater even made green chips and salsa! tasty hulk business!

i think one of the reasons i enjoyed the movie so much is cos it made me EXCITED TO THE MAX about marvel’s whole vision. see, the CEO of marvel was also there (coolest job ever), and he talked in the Q&A about the master plan to launch all of the major characters and eventually do an ultimates movie (he said in 2011) which features all of them which will be THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN. i’d heard rumors about this, but since i don’t read a ton of comic sites, i wasn’t sure if it was actually happening.

BUT IT IS!!!

i mean, you’ve got robert downey, jr. as tony stark, ed norton as the hulk, samuel l. jackson as nick fury… i know i’m geeking out here guys but that line-up WILL MELT MY PANTS OFF.

is anyone slated to play captain america yet? hmm. i wonder if i’ll have to start reading ain’t it cool. ha ha JUST KIDDING. that will never happen.

it makes me happy that hollywood is basically making all of my comic nerd dreams come true… the ultimates, the runaways movie… now i’m just waiting for the cinematic release of “fables.” would it be ok with everyone if hugh jackman played the big bad wolf, even if he’s already been wolverine? kthx!

anyway, watching ed norton get really angry and then transform into a mean green machine made me think about my own hulk moments. what makes me turn into a posh hulk pants?

1) road rage. i am probably one of the worst road ragers i know. i don’t give people the finger or tail them too closely, i just yell at them from the comfort and safety of thomas. and as much as i try not to get upset, I CAN’T HELP IT. it’s like there is radiation in my bloodstream, compelling me to do it. seriously, where is the scientific cure for THIS?!

2) flakiness. most of my friends know how much i HATE FLAKINESS. IT DRIVES ME BANANAS. and not in the hollaback girl kind of way. i think this stems from my planner pants nature, cos when i put effort into setting up an event or trip, i need people to COMMIT and then SHOW UP if they have committed! i am v. v. anal about this, and i can’t seem to help it…. nor do i really *want* to help it. maybe i need to start wearing a watch to monitor my heartbeat or try some ancient breathing techniques like bruce.

well, i could sit here and probably think of some other instigators, but then i might get angry, and i don’t particularly feel like shredding my cute outfit.

what about you guys? what catalyzes the hulk inside of you?

the good thing is that when i get mad, i don’t usually smash cars or buildings. i prefer to hit the gym or send a ranting email to a friend or, better yet, smash food… INTO MY MOUTH. POSH SMASH!!!!!

LINKS

check out this cupcake that looks like a hamburger, a.k.a. the best of both worlds! (thanks MSW for the link!).

yoni brenner gives us a glimpse of the memorials held at stonehenge (excerpt: “First: many complain that monument not look anything like Og. This true. When committee first conceive of memorial, we consider finding massive rock that resemble Og. But then we realize: Og really not a handsome man. In fact, Og sufficiently creepy-looking that convincing Og-rock pose health risk to pregnant women and elderly. So while on the one hand we committed to memory of Og, on the other hand there’s the pregnant women”).

you guys. look at this AMAZING waterslide in germany on j.’s blog. note to schlitterbahn: MAKE THIS HAPPEN.

sex and the city races: survival of the glammest

Published by
Sarah
May 28, 2008 in alamoing, culturelux and squee!. 14 Comments

check out this AWESOME sex & the city song henri found, i.e. the official theme song of the pre-show

as anyone with estrogen in their pants knows,

THE SEX & THE CITY MOVIE COMES OUT THIS WEEK!!!!!!!!! AIEEEEE!!!!!

mega, mega, MEGA squee.

of course, the alamo drafthouse is giving the movie the special treatment it deserves, and since it’s summer, that means… PRESHOW TIME!!!!

some of you may recall the preshows of yore, involving a kiddie pool filled with nacho cheese, a bathtub packed with ice and plates full of communion wafers. this summer will be no exception, esp. with movies like batman (OMGGG) and the hulk coming out.

but before we get all comic-y with superheroes, we had to get FABULOUS.

on monday, i gathered together the finest foxes in austin to participate in some contests inspired by the Glamorous Life. before the competitions could begin, however, we had to get TARTED UP. cos every girl knows you can’t survive in the lipstick jungle without yr fancy pants!

we headed to goodwill and savers and found some major finds. MAJOR finds, you guys. after a little make-up and accessorizing, we were READY FOR BATTLE.

when you look up “fierce” in wikipedia, you will now see this picture.

i’d like to point out that becky gave me that rhinestone cross as a funny “thank you” gift for officiating at her wedding, and i’ve been WAITING for the perfect moment to wear it. this was that moment.

so, let’s introduce our contestants.

amber is a formidable opponent with her sequined breastplate, which i do hope to see at beauty bar some time this summer. also? she already owned that hat. thankyouv.much.

erica, rocking her power “chanel” suit, is such a hoss, she would probably even intimidate samantha. note that the bling comes from her own private collection.

teresa is so extreme, she even tried on a matching neon halter top/pant set that was most likely donated by a nascar show girl (it even had “flame” monogrammed on the top). sadly, it didn’t quite fit, but i think this sophisticated evening gown proved to be a good bit of stategery, cloaking her cunning with elegance.

erica, also known as barbie, apparently came out of the womb in heels. when i found this out, i felt IMMENSE relief… FINALLY! now i understand why some girls can walk in heels like it’s a dr. scholl’s commercial while i hobble in pain for five minutes before throwing back on my flip-flops.

henri was the mastermind behind the filming, but he soon realized he didn’t need to do much directing. these girls were BORN to be stars.

the first competition was a high heel race between erica f. and teresa, and the tension between them was more intense than that time carrie tried to confront natasha at the restaurant. SPARKS FLEW (and not the romantic kind).

the ladies, of course, did some stretching before the race. because this was serious business.

i won’t reveal who won the race at this time, since i want you to be surprised when you see the pre-show, but i WILL say that it was a v. v. close call. there were no injuries sustained, since these women are professionals, but a shoe was tragically lost in the process.

the next contest was a cosmo drinking game, involving amber, myself, and two straws. the object of the game was to transfer the cosmo from the shaker to the glass, using only a straw, and the first glass filled to the top wins the contest.

before the race, amber and i totally got our straw faces on.

i’ll admit that moving liquid with only a straw and yr sucking ability is a challenge, but amber and i, of course, performed in an utterly cosmopolitan fashion, handling ourselves with grace and ease.

afterwards, we all drank a real cosmo, no straw, which is definitely my preferred method of handling beverages.

as for the third race… well… i’ll let you find out about that one later. suffice it to say, teresa and erica g. know how to, er, protect themselves.

i’ll post the videos after the movie comes out, so you can experience our FABULOUSNESS for yrselves and discover who would rule the lipstick jungle.

we had a total blast filming the races, and when henri showed us the finished product last night, our squeals of delight could be heard from a mile away. seriously. i’m surprised there was any testosterone left in henri’s body after he endured our squee.

I CAN’T WAIT TO SHOW YOU THE VIDEOS!! ok but i will.

for now, just to get myself more amped up than i already am, i ask you: which character on the show do you most identify with?

(my apologies to those people who don’t watch the show. and wait, i’m NOT sorry! you should watch this show! even if you’re a boy! it’s hilarious and AWESOME and yeah, no apologies here)

i’m pretty sure i’m a charlotte.

(i tried to find a picture of her doing a shocked face, and this is the closest thing i could find)

a few of my friends have a theory that every women is a combination of carrie and another character on the show, and i definitely see some truth to that. but at the same time, i… kinda hate carrie. a lot. she’s so NEUROTIC and self-obsessed and she freaks out about EVERYTHING and she LOVES to show the world that she’s wearing a bra. woman! we (we being ladies) all wear bras. it’s not a fashion statement!

anyway

i often relate to charlotte, mainly cos she’s naive and super duper cheesy. charlotte is constantly proclaiming things like, “YOU GUYS ARE GONNA GET MARRIED!” or “YOU GUYS ARE TOTALLY FALLING IN LOVE!” which reminds me of my tendency to shriek, “I LOVE YOU GUYS!” during moments of squee. she also gets grossed out easily when samantha talks about sex/body stuff, which i can totally understand, cos hello, this conversation is happening over breakfast, and someone grossing me out when i’m trying to eat is truly an Unforgivable Sin. plus whenever i tell people that i “used to be as naive as charlotte,” they get this look in their eyes and ask, “used to be?” and i’m pretty sure that means i’m charlotte.

LINKS

speaking of SATC, check out the fashion from last night’s premiere!!

you guys. we are SO having a flavor tripping party. as soon as i can figure out what that berry is…

just cos i love previews, here are some trailers for a few movies i’m looking forward to this summer:

towelhead

he’s just not that into you (featuring, like, all of hollywood)

monster camp (watching this trailer totally reminded me of the role playing convention at rice… yowza)

american teen

rocker (featuring dwight schrute! in a hair metal band!!)

zipping up my indiana jones pants

Published by
Sarah
May 27, 2008 in alamoing and extravaganza. 11 Comments

hey guys! did you enjoy yr three day weekend?

if you didn’t have one, i’m sorry, but… i went tubing for the first time in 2008! woo-hoo! this is a Major Milestone, esp. cos now the tubing gates have been opened, allowing river water and beer-filled coolers to flow freely and plentifully ALL SUMMER LONG.

but i’m not writing about that today, cos i have to catch you up on the MARVELOUS adventure i had last wednesday night. to celebrate the release of the fourth indiana jones movie, the alamo put together an excursion that included ziplining and a snake show!!! and i got to go!! yay!!!

the adventure began in the parking lot of the south lamar theater, where we donned fedoras and waited for our bus to show up and whisk us away.

it’s amazing how dashing people, even the non-swashbuckling types, look in fedoras.

caitlin and henri are ready to swing from vines, crawl into cobwebbed caves and kill some germans! i mean, russians! i mean, insert historical cliché villains!

zack was also along for the ride, as was thomas, who captured everything on film (you’ll see his video later). he inexplicably began videoing people getting their faces punched, so henri followed suit with his camera.

look at zack, taking it like a man. indiana jones would be proud!

finally, our bus arrived! it was 45 minutes late, but you know, i’m sure indy has to deal with this kind of stuff all the time. i mean, when you’re in the middle of a third world country or the depths of the jungle, you can’t really expect *reliable* transportation.

but you CAN expect air conditioning. cos hello, this is texas. i need to be AC-ed if i’m supposed to exert myself, ok?

we sat in the back of the bus, cos we’re the cool kids. and also cos no one else wanted to sit by the bathroom. here’s thomas, who sat in front of me and spent the bus ride making people say and do random things for the camera (but the man had a plan! as you shall see!).

after a near-death experience involving a sharp turn and an unforgiving curb, we arrived at the cypress valley canopy tour facility. everyone hopped off the bus with their fedoras on, making us look even cuter than a  groupof grannies touring italy.

here’s the platform where we (eventually) started zipping. the line goes to the left, into the trees, not to the right (although that would’ve been cool). i think they are afraid people will try to unhook themselves and fall into the water (”people” being henri).

before we could start zipping (<– new favorite verb! holla!!), we had to get suited up, which involves an adorable red helmet and some v. unflattering straps that are dangerously close to le private parts. no one, not even natalie portman, would look good in this gear.

ok, well, yeah, she probably would.

all i’m saying is, indiana jones NEVER had to wear a harness. or if he did, it was under his clothes so as to fool the audience, so that doesn’t count and anyway i don’t want to know about it cos ALL OF THOSE STUNTS ARE REAL, OBVIOUSLY.

still, i think caitlin and i pulled it our ensembles with fashionista flair:

here’s henri, totally giving harrison ford a run for his money in the “come with me… we might die, but it will be sexy!” department.

before you zip, one of the “tour guides” hooks you up to the line and shows you how to brake by using yr left hand (gloved, thankfully). you’re not supposed to GRAB the line, you’re just supposed to press yr hand down on it. otherwise you might get stuck… in the middle. which wouldn’t be that scary but WOULD be horribly embarrassing which is even worse.

i actually wasn’t too nervous about the prospect of flying through trees, in the dark, depending solely on some unflattering straps, a metal hook and my ability to stop myself before crashing into one of the platforms. i guess i just really trust people’s fear of getting sued or something.

so i jumped off the platform and WHIZZZZZED THROUGH THE AIR!!!!!!!!!!

look!! that’s me, zipping!!! zip zip ZIPPITY ZIP PANTS!!!!!!

you guys zipping is AWESOME!!!!! it is officially my favorite sport (besides tubing). it takes NO physical effort (except putting yr hand down to stop) and allows you to soar through the air, covering great distances at breakneck speed. forget about biking to work… i wanna ZIP!!! talk about funnest commute EVER (although helmet hair is definitely an issue).

we were the last group to zip, so it was starting to get dark, but i didn’t mind. the darkness made everything seem more mysterious and exciting. and then the fireflies came out, and i’m pretty sure we entered a magical swiss family robinson land where we all live in trees and make incredible clothes out of woven grass and feast on tasty berries and learn to communicate with the creatures of the forest.

i really DID feel like indiana jones, like a hero zipping in to save the day. esp. when i walked across the rope bridges!!!! i even did one with my eyes closed, cos it made me feel v. v. brave (obviously, the knowledge that i was safely hooked to the line had nothing to do with it).

look at me! i’m brave zippy pants!

after only a few zips, we were total pros, ready to take on the world in our helmets and harnesses! we can rescue innocent villagers and discover ancient artifacts and bring down oppressive regimes through the power of our ZIP!!!

eat yr heart out, indiana jones.

to see all of this awesomeness IN ACTION, check out the video thomas made:


Indiana Jones Adventure from Henri Mazza on Vimeo.

after conquering the zip line, we made our way to the next thrilling adventure: SNAKES!!!!!!!

the alamo hired two snake guys to perform for us in this warehouse-y studio on east sixth street, where we also feasted upon ALLIGATOR AND CROCODILE FLESH!! because we are HARDCORE!!!

ok actually i’m not hardcore. when i saw this box of rattlesnakes– yes, a BOX of RATTLESNAKES– i totally shrieked like tim lott, that is to say, like a little girl:

sorry the picture is blurry, but i think it’s easy to see all of those POISONOUS SNAKES WRITHING inside that box!! holy crap!

the ringleader of the operation, jackie bibby, looked like a cross between a rancher and a carnie– texas twang mixed with a bowler hat and an earring.

this guys is REALLY proud of his feats with snakes, which he made known to us by repeatedly saying that he has FIVE (or was it six?) guinness world book records.

what, you may ask, are those records? well, two include a sleeping bag filled with rattlesnakes (foot first AND head first), and another involves sitting in a bathtub with rattlesnakes. another he actually *demonstrated* to us… holding rattlesnakes in his mouth. I KNOW. HE IS CRAZY. but he’s done it… with ten snakes. for ten seconds. you can see a picture of this INCREDIBLE (i.e. psychotic) feat on the guinness site.

here’s a v. blurry picture of him doing it at our show, except with a few less snakes (still, it was impressive).

it kinda looks like he’s throwing up the snakes, doesn’t it? now THAT would be an impressive world record.

apparently jackie has only been bit about five times, with the only permanent damage being his TOTALLY CREEPY AND GROSS THUMB GAAAHHHH.

seriously. i cannot STAND to look at that photo. it gives me the heebie jeebies!!!!!!!

you know what else gives me the heebie jeebies? A RATTLESNAKE RIGHT NEXT TO MY FACE!!

i hide my panic well, don’t you think? WAY better than indiana jones, if you ask me.

one brave volunteer even HELD a rattlesnake in her BARE HANDS then THREW IT to the other snake dude!!! she is sooo ready for the temple of doom.

for the last act, they brought out a cobra!!! cobras are WAY intense in person, sort of like smokey the bear (<– a little mitch humor for ya). when their flaps (what are those called?) open and they slowly raise up, you start to feel like they could probably lunge towards you and sink their venomous fangs into yr sweet sweet skin, even though you’re 20 feet away and there are snake professionals present.

these guys, BECAUSE THEY HAVE A DEATH WISH, performed what’s called “the kiss of death,” which means they kissed the top of the cobra’s head.

THEY KISSED THE TOP OF A COBRA’S HEAD. A LIVE COBRA. THAT COULD KILL THEM.

i’m sorry, but no amount of zipping could embolden me to try this.

i don’t feel bad, though, cos indiana jones wouldn’t get NEAR a cobra if he could help it. in fact, while these guys are busy making out with snakes, he would be cracking some 1,000 year old code and discovering the Lost Golden Treasure of the Mighty Incans or whatever.

i think indiana jones and i share the same priorities. at least, when it comes to snakes.

after the v. exciting snake show, we headed back to the south lamar theater to catch the first screening of the movie… which was bad. i’m sorry guys, but it was terrible. and hey, i’m just as offended as you are! indiana jones should be battling ancient mysteries and awesome booby traps, not a crappy script and some CGI prairie dogs!

all i can say is, maybe indiana jones should’ve done a little bit more zip lining in the movie. that would have automatically made it a hundred times more awesome. and, yeah, what the heck, throw in a “kiss of death” or two while you’re at it.

LINKS

everyone has bad yearbook pictures, but what about yr head being placed on the body of another person? or yr shirt just… missing? yeah, i’d feel bad for these students except for the fact that this is AWESOME.

OMG! have you guys seen gin the dancing dog?!!!!!! i seriously TEARED UP while watching this clip. i am not kidding. that’s how amazing this dog is.

matt sent me this AWESOME video of a cell phone in a microwave. you have to enter yr birth date to watch it for some reason, but it is totally SFW.

eye candy for the day: christian bale on the cover of details.

the lady from “french laundry at home” finally cooked a pig’s head. and got her own show! which she totally deserves after having to crack the skull. not to mention shave the ears GROSSSSSS.

my kind of cap & gown

Published by
Sarah
May 19, 2008 in alamoing, family, growing up, pantship and tasty business. 15 Comments

as you all know, i have now officially graduated.

there are a lot of benefits to finishing graduate school, like being able to put yr shiny new degree on yr resume and NEVER HAVING HOMEWORK AGAIN and people calling you “master.”

wait, people don’t call you “master” when you have a masters degree?! are you serious? WHY DID I WASTE ALL OF THIS TIME?

anyway, all of these benefits are great, but my favorite part is CELEBRATING THE FACT THAT I’M DONE.

cos i am reeeeally good at celebrating things. so good, in fact, that i managed to pack ALL of my favoritey favorites into one weekend. read this list and be amazed:

1) my parents

2) my friends

3) tasty business

4) alamo sing-alongs

5) radiohead

this was no cookies and punch reception, people.

friday night, my parents took henri and me to a posh dinner at mars on south congress. i’d never been there before, so it was even more exciting!

we started off with the tuna tataki, which was EXQUISITE.

for the entree, i ordered the butternut squash gyoza with sake cream sauce. IT WAS AMAZING. OMG. looking at this picture makes me want to lick my monitor. and that is gross.

of course i saved room for dessert, cos hello, it wouldn’t be a poshdeluxe celebration without baked goods!!!! although i will forever love the donut holes at parkside, these glazed donuts (with espresso gelatto) absolutely took my breath away. LOOK AT THEM.

ok great now i’m starving. thanks for nothing, lean pocket from lunch!

it’s been so wonderul to have my parents close by in round rock, and on friday, i was especially grateful for their presence (and not just cos they bought me food). they’ve always been so supportive of me– honestly, i’ve never met two people who are more encouraging, to *everyone*, than my parents. when i saw the pride and happiness in their eyes, i felt like a million buckaroos.

yay, now all three of the pitres have masters degrees! we are, as meredith likes to say, so freaking scholarly!

since i knew i’d be seeing many of my VIPantsers over the weekend, i decided to ask them for advice, cos their opinions and perspectives mean the world to me.

i started with mom and dad:

see? aren’t they the best?!!

then i asked henri, cos i think he is v. v. smart, and he’s also business-savvy, which i am not.

i’m starting to feel like a children’s book character, gathering advice from adult figures, but ha ha i’m an adult, too. i just forget sometimes.

josh met up with us at the stephen f. austin for a drink so my parents could ask him a billion questions about his new job and his engagement (another great thing about my parents– they are like second parents to all of my friends). josh has been there for several major milestones in my life– the first day at rice, the first day in austin (he helped me move, bless him) and now graduation– and i feel lucky to have a person like him as a constant in my life.

plus, he totally knows how to enjoy a sing-long, which is where we went next.

thank you, josh, for always letting me take ridiculous photos of you and then singing to weezer’s “buddy holly” at the top of yr lungs.

the alterna-90s was the perfect theme for the night, considering the nostalgia invoked by songs like “mr. jones” and “smells like teen spirit.” as i danced around and sang angst-filled lyrics, i thought about how far i’ve come since seventh grade slumber parties and late night journaling sessions at dietrich’s.

the show ended with “it’s the end of the world (as we know it)” which was, well, wildly appropriate.

afterwards, i asked josh for advice, which he gave while wearing his glasses.

the next day, henri and i drove to houston to see RADIOHEAD!!!!!!

not only is radiohead (still, after all these years) my favorite band, but they also happen to be intrinsically connected to graduation for me. back in may of 2001, i ran back to my dorm room after the rice ceremony to sit at my desk, still wearing my cap and gown, and buy a ticket online for the radiohead concert later that summer.

and so, of course i had to see radiohead after graduating from grad school. it’s just in the stars.

i don’t usually like “big” shows, but there’s something so fitting about seeing radiohead in a place where you can sit comfortably, surrounded by yr friends, and let the music wash over you.

note my awesome new bling, a graduation gift from my parents. cos P stands for pitre, poshdeluxe, pants, pretty much everything that is awesome in the universe!!!!

while we were waiting for the show to begin, it started to sprinkle, so henri, matt, meredith and i took shelter under a blanket. it totally felt like an elementary sleepover where everyone gets under the bed sheet and tells ghost stories with a flashlight.

i realized that all i need are these faces, cos even under a blanket in the cold rain, i had the time of my life. some people throw massive catered parties to celebrate their graduation, but i’ll take my best friends and a blanket any day.

josh, erica and teresa showed up to join our little party, which just made me happier. yay!! radiohead with people i love!

and THEN mark lewis came! i sweart, it felt like, “POSH DELUXE, this is yr LIFE!!!” the best part was that mark and meredith finally met in person… it’s the greatest feeling, when two of yr most cherished friends meet each other with wide smiles and outstretched hands and say, “i recognized you from the blog!” ha ha.

the radiohead show did not disappoint. LIKE I NEED TO TELL YOU THAT. it was AMAZING. first of all, the sound was incredible, and i give radiohead’s engineering skills full credit, cos the acoustics at the woodlands pavilion aren’t always that great. second, they had INCREDIBLE LIGHTS!! WOW!!!

look!!!!!

and they changed colors!! and displayed designs! look!!!

the colors would change in time with the music, so the show was a feast for both the ears and the eyes.

even though i love ALL of their albums, i was especially gratified when they played not one but TWO songs from “the bends.” here’s a video of “planet telex,” which was part of the encore. you can see the lights go CRAYZEEEEE.

when i listen to radiohead, my mind reels… sometimes just about life, sometimes about specific memories attached to songs. every track from “amnesiac” reminds me of falling asleep in european hostels, cos i bought it when kendall and i were in london after college graduation. “the bends” takes me back to freshmen year, when life was exciting and scary and frankly, overwhelming.

as i stood there and let the music seep into me, i thought so much about that summer, seven years ago, when i saw radiohead for the first time. i had just come back from europe, rented a house in montrose with mary, and had absolutely no job prospects. i didn’t have a clue about my next step, and somehow, i found that exhilarating. the music soared around me, and the world was open to receive it, open to receive *me*.

and even though so much has happened since that concert, i felt the same way as i stood there, a girl with a master’s degree but no master plan, a girl with a lot of possibilities and a lot of (sometimes conflicting) directions. but i’m not really the same… i’ve learned things and made mistakes and collected even more incredible, amazing people in my life. and that realization made me feel a little bit stronger.

i looked up at the moon as the music and sounds of the crowd rose up into the sky, and i felt precious in my insignificance.

as the crowds streamed out of the gate, i took advantage of mark’s concert attendance to ask him for advice.

the next day, a group of us accompanied matt to st. arnold’s brewery to support him in a beer brewing contest he entered. his final score was incredibly high, and all of us practically exploded with pride (meredith especially).

go matt! you are a master brewer, and i will enjoy the fruit of yr labor anytime you need me.

i love that my graduation celebration included celebrating someone else for their fantastic achievement, esp. because it makes me appreciate the support of my friends and family even more. in fact, the weekend went from a celebration of graduation to a celebration of ALL of the wonderful things in my life, and for me, that’s even better than a new diploma.

before we left, i asked one more friend for advice: meredith.

after gathering all of this advice, i feel like the richest girl on the planet.

because yes, meredith, the world IS my dance party. and i’m going to enjoy the pants out of it.

LINKS

have you guys seen the new trailer for joss whedon’s “dollhouse”?!!! ZOMGGGG. (thanks erin for the link!)

no matter who you’re voting for in the presidential election, i think we can all agree that misogyny in this country has yet to be conquered.

becky sent me this link about meatloaf cupcakes. i’m not sure how i feel about that.

she also sent me this kool-aid, like, database. remember saving kool-aid points?!! so you could get awesome kool-aid prizes?!! yeah!

the thrill of sing-alongs

Published by
Sarah
April 28, 2008 in alamoing. 11 Comments

michael jackson: thriller

you guys, what did i DO on thursdays before henri invented sing-alongs? i mean, HOW DID I LIVE?

last week, i attended TWO sing-alongs, both of which ended up being super super awesome (duh).

wednesday night, henri hosted a michael jackson sing-along, which was actually the first sing-along i ever attended. that show is made even MORE historic by the fact that it inspired meredith and me to create the famous Dance Toll, which is now recreated at clubs across america. by us.

wednesday’s show featured an extra layer of awesomeness, cos henri has joined up with “thrill the world,” a campaign to create a guinness world record for the most people performing the “thriller” dance. i haven’t thought of the guinness world book of records in AGES, but i was totally *obsessed* with it as a child. i remember poring over the photographs and feeling simultaneously reverent and repulsed… except for the “longest fingernails” winner. that’s just plain G TO THE ROSS. the world does NOT need that kind of record.

anyway, henri actually flew ines, the girl who created this idea, down from canada so she could teach us the dance after the show! and there was even a “make yr own MJ glove” table!! I HEART CRAFTS!

check out heather’s BEDAZZLED glove.

here’s erica and chris, doing their best Magician, i mean, Illusionist impression.

ines was a really good instructor– you can tell she’s been doing this for a while, cos the girl is a dance pro. here she is, teaching us a v. v. important michael jackson move: the crotch grab.

all of a sudden, boba fett showed up at the dj booth!

i’m sorry to say i have no explanation for this, other than maybe bounty hunters just really dig “smooth criminal.”

during henri’s second reprise of the MJ sing-along, we tried to teach ourselves the thriller dance (i supplemented our practice with a couple viewings of “13 going on 30,” cos i’m such a studious pants), and guys, it was hard! i mean, that whole arm thing is pretty easy, but when it gets to the turns and the order of things, i get confused. consequently, it was pretty amazing to see this room full of people effortlessly learning how to dance like zombies.

here’s a video of the beginning of our lesson:

the middle:

and near the end:

that is SOME progress, yeah?!!!!! by october, when “thrill the world” actually happens, austin is gonna be, like, the number one thriller-ing city. we’ll be so good, we’ll even make michael jackson cry, which, you know, is probably not that hard to do, actually.

anyway

thursday night was the third new wave 80’s sing-along, which has turned out to be one of the danciest, funnest shows in sing-along history. you CANNOT SIT STILL during this show. i mean, who can resist the synthy excitement of “just can’t get enough” or the bopping beat of “take on me”? no one can. NO ONE. like even skeletor would shake his thang if he heard “bizarre love triangle,” am i right?

for last week’s show, i decided to have a make-up party (make-UP, not make-OUT, just to be clear, since people had this strange tendency to mishear me whenever i talked about it, AHEM henri), and we got totally new waved OUT!

here’s ines, creating a flock of seagulls masterpiece on henri’s head.

teresa went for the popular “blue & pink” combo, which were pretty much the only two shades of make-up i knew about until i was in the eighth grade.

i was inspired by the two girls (dancers? actresses? props?) in the flock of seagulls “i ran video,” which provided the perfect compliment to henri’s hairdo.

why yes, i AM launching my own cirque du soleil show, entitled “gotika.” it shall feature SPIDERWEBS and BATS and GRAVES…on trapezes… in SPACE! and with cupcake juggling, cos, you know, it’s me. but the cupcakes will be BLACK. BLACK AS DEATH.

seriously, though, i think i created a pretty good replica. see for yrself:

when michael and christie walked in, i said, “you guys look great!” then christie giggled, “uh, we’re just wearing our regular clothes.” ahh, hipsters. you gotta love ‘em!

erica and amber both went for the blue theme, with erica sporting some particularly divine eyeshadow.

amber wore her AWESOME! YELLOW! REEBOKS! which i totally covet. except i’m so anal, i’d probably never wear them for fear of contaminating them with dirt. which is actually, now that i think about it, the least objectionable item found on the pavement of sixth street.

the new wave show is SO packed with goodness, people freak out at the beginning of EVERY SONG. you totally feel like you’re a concert, cos people are like, “OMG! I LOVE THIS SONG! I CAN’T BELIEVE THEY’RE PLAYING THIS SONG!” (by the way, i do this all the time. even when i’m listening to a cd… that i made). and then they stand up and squeal like this:

i have never seen a bigger (straight) erasure fan than teresa. the girl LOVES her some erasure. here’s what she did when “oh l’amour” came on.

sing-alongs have made me realize that i basically haven’t aged since i was eight years old. i still LOVE to sing my heart out to my favorite music and dance like i’m on crazy pills (except now i jump on the stage instead of on my bed) and dress up in costumes and smear tons of glitter and make-up on my face.

the only difference is that now, I DON’T HAVE A BEDTIME! which means, late at night, on thursdays, you can always find me at the alamo, dancing and singing and looking like an eight year old who was left alone with a bag of walgreens make-up and a case of nerds candy.

YARR! PIRATE PANTS!

Published by
Sarah
April 14, 2008 in alamoing and extravaganza. 17 Comments

AHOY, MATEYS!!!!!!

so, some of you may recall the white boat party that henri and i threw back in 2006 (in fact, MANY of you were there). well, since that party was such a blast, we swore that we’d throw another one, but make it even bigger and even better.

how, you may ask, is it possible to improve on an event as illustrious and infamous as the white party?

well, there are two ways.

one, enlist the resources of the alamo, so you can invite a bigger crowd, get bartenders and throw in lots of special tricks.

two, come up with an awesome theme. loveboat? no. little mermaid? NOT EVEN. in fact, there’s only one theme capable of embodying our lust for life, our cavalier attitudes, our inclination towards hipster fashion… and that theme, my friends, is PIRATES!!!! YARRRR!!!

on saturday, we all drove up to lake travis to once again board The Ark (TM), only this time, we looked a lot more DANGEROUS.

here’s the captain of our ship, the feared and maligned DrafthouseHenriBeard!

i have to say, drafthousehenribeard has a really fine lookin’ crew. just check out these swashbucklers:

it’s true, even when meredith and i are pirates, we have to wear pink. it’s just a rule.

beware of jessica and amber… they don’t need swords, cos their SQUEE will kill you!

all hands on deck!

just two pirates on the sea of love…

YARRR ENGAGE(ed)!!!!!

don’t mess with pirate teresa. she’ll toss you overboard faster than you can say “scurvy.”

john arrived at the party with a (real) black eye. THAT’s how dedicated he is. and we even had a crew sail all the way from houston!

i’d like to note that william probably had v. little idea of what he was getting into. you can tell by talena’s face that she totally does.

show us yr ink, lass!

there was a LOT of facial hair on the boat, but my vote goes for mandy.

henri and david are hoping to be cast in the next prince video.

seriously, you guys, i was *impressed* by the amount of amazing, creative costumes on the boat, i mean, PIRATE SHIP. in fact, i decided to walk around (on my sea legs!) and take pictures of random strangers.

i really wish this flag had been pillowing from our mast… if we had a mast.

note this guy’s peg leg, which probably got reeeeally annoying after a few hours.

oh hai, monkey!!

our ship was so cool, we even had the dread pirate roberts on board! not to mention karrie, who is, dare i say, even more fearsome?

since everyone only had a few stereotypes to go on, there were a TON of (non-real) parrots perched atop people’s shoulders. actually, we did have a live one.

we trolled the seas before deciding to dock on a small island, where we encountered our sworn enemies: Frat Guys and Sorority Wenches.

our victims attempted to utilize their weak weapons of defense, which included shirt removal, exotic dancing and even a few exposed buttocks, but they were clearly afraid of our pirate pants and quickly departed. we toyed with the idea of pursuing them and throwing their keg overboard, but instead we decided to search the island for treasure!

here’s henri, giving careful treasure hunt directions. note the amount of pirate hats in this picture. awesome.

before the party, henri and i boated out to the island and threw (fake) gold doubloons everywhere. it was like a combination of “castaway” and mardi gras. so the crew of our ship had to scour the island and collect as much gold as they could find (to be redeemed for the ultimate treasure, free drinks!), but first, they had to face the ominous rocks that lined the shore.

note dread pirate roberts, totally putting his “cliffs of insanity” skills to good use.

i thought a boat full of pirates looked amazing enough, but this?! it was like my goonies dreams had COME TO LIFE.

a few of my pirate comrades fell by the wayside, mostly due to high heel issues.

jessica, however, was determined to get her share of the booty. cos jessica loves booty.

considering that there were only a few hundred coins scattered around, i was impressed that people actually *found* any. check out talena’s score:

i now have to take a minute and show off my TOTALLY POSH DELUXE pirate costume. cos it was pink and shiny and pretty and obviously indicates that i would spend most of my time on the high seas in a ritzy cabin with lots of tea cookies (NO HARDTACK) and perhaps a monkey to amuse me.

cabin boy, bring me some cupcakes!

speaking of cabin boy, i love this photo i took of chris, shortly after he struck gold near the water.

back on board, we were spontaneously serenaded by a pirate minstrel. he asked henri if he could play a song, and henri said, “sure… but you won’t like how it ends.”

how did it end, you ask? like all pirate stories… WITH THE PLANK!

captain tim arrived on a separate boat (which, might i add, he damaged with a flame thrower), commandeered the ship and forced henri and the minstrel to walk the plank and jump into the cold, dark, shark-infested (well, maybe) depths of the sea.

as you can see, henri did so with valor and courage.

if you listen closely, you can hear the sound of our pirate bard overcoming the plank of wood.

tim couldn’t help himself and decided to jump in as well. cos he is CRAY CRAY.

thankfully, the might sea relinquished drafthousehenribeard so that he could live to host another sing-along.

as night fell and the set by car stereo wars began, we began to do what pirates do best: pAAARRRRty!!!

i love how the sunset looks like the airbrushed background in a portrait studio.

it was time to get our JIG ON, and teresa shows you how.

i’m sorry, but when you have to watch out for *swords* at a dance party, that’s awesome.

amber shivers her timbers!

we even had a pirate do some break dancing.

erica and i considered challenging him to a battle, but we’re still perfecting our moves.

why yes, that is a hornpipe in my pocket and i *am* happy to see you.

jessica, can you please define FIERCE for me? kthx.

earlier in the evening, we slaughtered a parrot pinata (sorry, i didn’t get any pics), and like a true pirate, matt wore the body of our victim as trophy. is he tough or what?

josh introduced me to a new way of taking pictures: SKY CAM!!!!

i like to pretend we’re all looking at a mast that’s about to come crashing down. that would be a total buzz kill, btw.

there was plenty of pirate speak on board, and guess what? IT NEVER GOT OLD. in fact, i think i’m going to keep saying YAR! whenever i get mad or excited. cos YAR!

tim kept calling meredith a strumpet, which i thought was great.

the ship docked around eleven, but did the party end there? OF COURSE NOT! we’re pirates, not pansies!

so we headed to the best place in austin for pirates… treasure island on sixth street, OF COURSE!

first of all, there was a line. a LINE. WHY?!!!!!

fortunately, we had no trouble getting in, since the bouncers could tell that we were OBVIOUSLY real pirates and would therefore slay them if we were denied admittance.

also? sorority girls LOVE pirates.

several members of the crew turned up to shake their bootys, including our v. own minstrel. AVAST, amber!

hey, uh, captain drafthousehenribeard. you’ve got, uh, something in yr teeth. no… it’s not salted pork…

i think our pirate ancestors would have been proud of our swashbuckling antics, esp. given the fact that we are all landlubbers with no actual sailing skills. plus, no one got lice or ended up in davy jone’s locker! for most pirates, i think that means it was a pretty awesome night.

YARRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!

p.s. haven’t had enough of this pirate goodness? check out erin’s blog for an excellent recap!

so… you work at a club?