henri asked me to marry him! and i said YES!

OMGGGG!!!! I KNOW!!! YAY IT’S SO EXCITING! HAPPY PANTS!!!

ok, so you’re probably like, “major duh!” because it happened three weeks ago, and i’ve been a terrible, neglectful owner of this blog. but since this is, like, kind of a MAJOR LIFE MILESTONE, i figured the story needed to be documented and shared on the internets for all of eternity. esp. cos this site has truly become an archive of memories for me, and even though i’m not likely to forget details like the fact that I GOT ENGAGED, it’s still important for me to save and savor all of the special tiny moments.

so HERE’S HOW IT ALL WENT DOWN.

on january 20th, 2011, henri and i were going to celebrate our five year anniversary. whoah, i know! BUT he had to go to sundance. so he suggested that we celebrate on saturday (jan 15th) instead! and since it was such a big deal anniversary, he offered to plan the whole thing. which i thought was super nice of him!

he told me to show up at 4:30 at his place that day, so i got there at 4:15 because when i’m super excited about something i can’t help myself. as i walked in, he walked out, saying that he had to go get something from downstairs. i assumed he was buying something at royal blue, the little grocery store, but what i didn’t realize is that when i walked in, henri was on the phone with my dad!! asking for his blessing!! but he had to hang up on my dad when i came in!!! AWKWARD.

so henri went downstairs and called my dad back, and fortunately my dad said, “of course!” yay! thanks dad!

anyhoodle, when henri came back to his place, he popped open a bottle of champers and told me we were going to watch the episode of chemistry 101, which was filmed on the night we met. if you want to experience that trip down memory lane, you can read my original post about it (like i said, this blog is basically my scrapbook). it was really funny to watch me on a date with a tool another guy for our anniversary, but how cool is it that we have a video recording of the first time we ever laid eyes on each other?

after our little screening, we headed downstairs and started walking through republic square park to, i assumed, go eat dinner. during the summer of 05, when henri and i were first getting to know each other, we had a couple of long, late night conversations while sitting on a bench in the park (after whiskey dancer parties, of course, HOLLA AT ME THE CURB!). anyway, we’re walking through the park, and it’s lightly drizzling, so we’re sharing a big umbrella that we got during the calvin trillin tour at the new yorker festival. henri asked, “where was that bench where we used to sit?” so we wandered around for a few minutes, trying to figure it out, and then, suddenly!

henri says, “well, i hope this is the right spot because i want to do this,” and dropped down on one knee!!! and my heart pretty much flew out of my throat and i shrieked, “WHAT!!!!!!” then he pulled out a ring and i said, “ARE YOU FOR REAL?” and he said, “yes!” and my brain was just like SPAZZFEST CENTRAL. so i told him, “get up! your pants are getting wet!” (how appropriate that pants were part of our engagement, amiright?!) and he laughed and replied, “not til you give me an answer!” so i said, “yes! YES! OF COURSE!” and took the ring and put it on the wrong finger, and then he stood up and said, “oh, i forgot to ask you. will you marry me?” and i was like “OF COURSE!” and my brain was like OMGOMGOMGOMG HOLY CRAP! and then we kissed under the umbrella in the rain and it was the sweetest moment in the history of time.

after that, henri said, “ok, we’ve got a schedule to keep! let’s go!” and i’m still recovering from the fact that WE GOT ENGAGED, so i just start walking with him, alternating between looking at my pretty pretty ring and saying, “we’re engaged! that’s so crazy! we’re engaged!”

soon we hit a block where, when we were first dating, this random limo pulled up to us and the driver asked if we wanted a free limo ride. now, to some people, that might sound like a super dangerous, hells-to-the-no situation. but UM HELLO FREE LIMO RIDE. so henri and i said yes and had an awesome, thirty minute posh deluxe joyride.

anyhoo, we hit that same block, and henri says, “look who it is!” and i see, walking toward us, jerry, our limo driver from the winery tours and my shopping montage!!!! HI JERRY!!!

after jerry nicely congratulates us on our engagement, he leads us to the limo! YAY LIMO RIDE!!!! we head down congress, and henri points to the paramount, where patton oswalt, aka my fave comedian evs, is playing that night, and says, “we’re heading there later!”

HOW CAN THIS PROPOSAL GET BETTER?!!

well, it does! cos jerry takes us to vespaio, where henri and i had our first date!! SENTIMENTAL TASTY BUSINESS!

since no one in the restaurant knew we just got engaged, henri and i kept giggling and whispering to each other, savoring the secret of our big news. and, of course, WE STUFFED OUR FACES WITH DELICIOUSNESS.

after dinner, jerry took us back to the paramount, where we enjoyed a totes hilarious performance by patton. i, of course, don’t remember a single joke, because my brain kept going, “YOU JUST GOT ENGAGED. HOLY SHIZZBALLS!” but i do recall that i laughed a lot.

plus, we saw our friends carter and tary in our row, so i got to text tary, “hey! we’re in your row! and also, we just got engaged!” and watch her reaction when she checked her phone. that was super duper fun!

i also called my parents (of course) and cried like a crazy person, then texted pants world with the news! sadie (my phone) got QUITE the workout, but it was the fun, happy kind, like jazzercise! for example, here’s my exchange with trish:

YAY!!! thank goodness cell phones have been invented, cos telegrams take foreeeever and you can’t use emogicons.

after the show ended, we headed over to the highball, where i had already planned on meeting up with a few folks before i knew I WAS GOING TO GET ENGAGED. it was the perfect way to end the night, celebrating with some of my fave pantsers!

(that photo was actually taken at the gibson, cos the highball was at capacity. HOLLA! i considered that an engagement present from my place of work.)

we drank and laughed and spazzed the night away, and my pants were just overwhelmed with happiness.

so much so that we had to celebrate the next night as well! and since we are obvs total grown-ups cos WE’RE ENGAGED, we did something v. serious and adult-like. WE HIT UP SIXTH STREET! you guys, i had my first flaming dr. pepper! and it was tasty! and also DANGEROUS! check out this video (the good part is around the 1:40 mark, and not just cos trish yells, “I LOVE SARAH AND HENRI!”)

yep, definitely a night to remember (and yes, i do actually remember it).

so that’s the story of how henri and i got engaged. WHOAH IT’S STILL SO WEIRD TO SAY THAT. weird and completely, perfectly and incandescently happy. i’m a lucky pants, you guys.

taken in march 2006, after we’d been dating two months. who would’ve thought these kids would get married? well, ok, i kinda did.

on that superficial note, WELCOME TO THE 2010 ANNUAL POSHIE AWARDS!! i hope you’re wearing something fancy!!!

grab a champ can and LET’S GET JUDGEY!

MOST UN-PUTDOWNABLE BOOK

i had to break this award down into two categories because i read a LOT of books this year you guys and i couldn’t bring myself to choose one winner. so the “adult” (you know i use that word loosely) award goes to… the passage by justin cronin!

HOLEE SHIZZBALLS. this book will grab you, shake you up, put you back down just long enough for you to think that everything’s cool, then it will jump out from around the corner and give you the biggest “GOTCHA!” ever. for those of you who think this is just another “vampire book,” THINK AGAIN SON. it’s got complex characters, thrilling plot devices and a story vast enough to make j.r.r. tolkien jealous.

and now, in the i’m-going-to-say-YA-but-that-doesn’t-mean-you-should-dismiss-it-you-lit-snob category, the poshie goes to… monsters of men by patrick ness!

this is the third and final book in the chaos walking trilogy, and it was everything i had hoped mockingjay would be (AND MORE). i cried, i fist pumped, i clasped the book to my chest and never wanted to let go. you can read my review here, but if you haven’t picked up any of these AMAZING books, check out my review of the first one to whet yr appetite.

honorable mention goes goes to before i fall by lauren oliver. gorgeous, haunting and absolutely incredible.

MOST COVETED RED CARPET ENSEMBLE

i don’t know about y’all, but i wasn’t really dazzled by many outfits this year. then again, i only watched the oscars and… yeah, that’s about it. so i’m probably missing something BREATHTAKING, but given my limited knowledge, i’m gonna have to give the award to cameron diaz:

which i HATE DOING because she drives me CRAY CRAY but i simply can’t deny the golden splendor of that gown.

BEST MUSIC ALBUM

this one’s a piece of cake. a funky, loose, catchy-as-hell piece of cake.

i’m no pitchfork (thank god, because i enjoy liking things), but fitz and the tantrums are made of pure awesome. i’ve listened to this album approximately eleventy hundred times, and it never fails to get my hips shaking, my fingers snapping (well, i can’t actually snap, so i pretend) and my mood up to eleven.

BEST TELEVISION SHOW

please. LIKE THERE WAS ANY DOUBT.

i still can’t believe i have friends who don’t watch this show. and by that i mean, i really need to end those friendships because people who don’t understand the bank-exploding value of friday night lights must be, like, zombies. and no one wants to be friends with zombies. they’re gross!

i also feel the need to split this award by genre just so i can include my favey fave fave comedy, parks and recreation!

this show is the best possible combination of hilarity, ridiculousness and ron swanson’s mustache. in other words, it’s made of WIN.

BEST MOVIE

when henri and i saw the social network at the new yorker festival, i was just excited cos WE WERE ABOUT TO BREATHE THE SAME AIR AS JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE (he was in a panel after the screening). but then the film began to roll, and i became so utterly absorbed in this fascinating and gripping story (not to mention the combined hotness of the winklevi and andrew garfield), that i completely forgot about justin’s upcoming presence. FOR REALS Y’ALL. that speaks more to the awesomeness of this film than even a gold and diamond encrusted cupcake ever could.

BEST HOTNESS

this year was an EPIC one for encounters with celebrity hotness. i touched taylor kitsch’s arm! i shook hands with mark ruffalo! ryan reynolds poked henri in the stomach! HOLY MOLEY!!!! so when it came time to hand out this poshie, i was forced to reflect on all of these experiences in excruciating detail. it may have been the most rigorous and challenging research i’ve *ever* done, but after considerable time, one winner emerged. not only was he smokin’ with the sexay WHILE rocking a ponytail (i know!), he was HOTTER than he is on television. and that champion of the smolder, pansters and pantserettes, is taylor kitsch.

mr. kitsch: please contact me so that i can deliver this award in person. kthx.

BEST CELEBRITY BABY

this one was tough, you guys, because i’m really not up on my pop culture game anymore. however, i just discovered that what used to require hours of wasted time reading blogs and magazines can now be done in ten minutes with the help of google. THANKS GOOG. and now i present the v. v. adorbs fruit of my labor, birdie phillips!

seriously, look at that face! that smile! that joie de vivre! and in case you need more evidence, here she is dressed up with her mamma:

rock the tink, birdie! rock it.

MOST TRAGIC CELEBRITY BREAK-UP

well, i think we all know who gets the poshie for this one.

HA HA JUST KIDDING. please. like we all didn’t know it was just a matter of time. ryan reynolds’ hotness CANNOT BE CONTAINED  (sorry about the poshie loss, dude. but just know that i am not opposed to dating first runners up).  so, if it wasn’t scarjo and ryan, who was it?

I HAVE NO IDEA. i looked at lists and lists of celebs who broke up, and NONE of them seemed tragic to me. so, yeah, hollywood, TRY HARDER NEXT TIME.

BEST CELEBRITY COUPLE

unlike the break-up category, this one was easy peasy. the award goes to prince william and kate middleton!

yay! look! they’re so in love!!!! although i’ll be honest, the main reason they nabbed the poshie is because I CANNOT WAIT TO WATCH THEIR WEDDING! with copious amounts of scones, tea and champers at my disposal, of course.

BEST CELEBRITY SIGHTING

i think this may have been the toughest category to decide. and i don’t mean to sound like all hoity toity pants, but you know, i do occasionally get to hob nob with the rich and famous. while i IMMENSELY enjoyed my hand shake with mark ruffalo, MAN OF MY DREAMS, there’s no doubt that the poshie goes to meg cabot:

even though meg is a totally famous and insanely successful big time writer, she agreed to have lunch with three of us FYA gals, where she treated us like instant besties, drank lots of cocktails, ordered one of EVERY dessert and then put it on scholastic’s tab (actually, she said, “this one’s on suzanne collins!”). i don’t think i’ve ever j’adored anyone so hard, so quickly. MEG YOU ARE MY HERO.

honorable mention has GOT to go to the nicest, funnest dude in hollywood, bill pullman. he returned to fantastic fest this year and, when henri asked, “bill, what do you want to do today?” he said, “ziplining!”

so, we went ziplining.

BEST BLOG

so i realize this is a conflict of interest, blah blah blah, but THE POSHIES AREN’T REAL YOU GUYS so i can do whatever i want. plus we were on the cover of the chronicle! you can’t argue with that kind of press coverage!

SHAMELESS SELF-PROMOTION LA LA LA!

okaaaaay, i’ll be kinda fair and split the poshie between Forever Young Adult and the newly created Badass Digest.

and no, it’s not just a clever name. it features awesome film scoops and clever commentary by such esteemed and talented writers as henri and meredith!! and yes, that IS why i gave it a poshie! and no, i don’t care that this is also a conflict of interest. I MAKE THE RULES HERE. and the rules are… be awesome! which this blog clearly is.

BEST RESTAURANT

i thought about going with my usual faves (uchi and parkside), but i decided to allow a newcomer into the poshie fold and give the award for tasty business to bistrot la minette in philadelphia.

henri and i luckily stumbled upon this place thanks to yelp, and we were blown away by the service, the charming atmosphere and the UNSANELY delicious food. you can read more about our experience (feat. mac & cheese with brie I KID YOU NOT) here.

BEST CUPCAKE

i should just retire this poshie because SUGAR MAMA’S WINS EVERY TIME.

BEST MAC ‘N’ CHEESE

ditto for the mac & cheese award. parkside, I CAN’T QUIT YOU.

BEST PICTURE OF PANTSERS

per yooj, this was a tough category. first, because pants world is really, really skilled at having fun. second, because i take about a bajillion pictures a month. but from the moment i took it, i knew that this photograph from fantastic fest would nab the poshie. it’s the kind of picture that needs to be used in calendars, coasters and YES, even t-shirts.

it’s. just. that. amazing.

MOST SQUEEABLE ANIMAL VIDEO

we’ve come to the end of our ceremony, and just like the oscars, i save the best award for last. but unlike the oscars, i don’t make you sit through long awkward speeches and cringeworthy pop culture jokes beforehand. YOU’RE WELCOME!

so, without any further fanfare, i present to you the most squeeable animal video of the year. sure, it faced some ferociously adorable competition, and nothing particularly funny happens, but that’s the magic of boo. just by staring at the camera and licking his nose, he is THE MOST PRECIOUS THING ALIVE. SERIOUSLY. MY PANTS ARE EXPLODED.

thanks for attending the 2010 annual poshies, ladies and gents! now, let’s go crash the after party at elton john’s taco cabana.

because yeah, i’m no sporty spice. i took a semester of high school P.E. by correspondence, for heaven’s sake (it was bowling, and no, grades were not correlated to actual skill. thank goodness). the only sports i ever watch are the football games on Friday Night Lights, and even then, the only thing i can decipher is the hotness of certain players. #33 FOREVS.

there’s only one sport that can induce me to break a sweat outside of the gym, and that sport, my pantsers, is SLOSHBALL.

in case you’re not familiar with this ancient competition of strength, endurance and debauchery, sloshball is basically like kickball but with the added bonus of a keg on second base. and, if you reach that base, you must drink a beer before moving to third.

I KNOW. IT’S GENIUS.

and so, on the sunday following thanksgiving, erica decided to revive this noble sport and gathered together all of the necessary components. allow me to walk you through them! and i mean POWER WALK, because I’M SPORTY.

1. TEAMS

the ideal sloshball player is strong, tough, determined and bursting with drinking agility. our team members all possessed… well, at least one of these qualities.

as you can easily guess, my team was the BEST. and no, not because i was on it (HA HA HAVE YOU SEEN ME TRY TO CATCH A BALL? of course not, because i don’t. and i’m talking about the trying part).

it also wasn’t because we had the cutest team member ever, MILES THE PUPPY!

our team was *actually* the best because we were lucky enough to snag these two superstars: tommy and joah!

these dudes can catch ANYTHING. like even if a ball was hurtling towards a completely different player*, and that player yelled, “GET IT TOMMY/JOAH!” one of them would swoop in and catch it.

*this player was always me.

2. A HEALTHY SENSE OF COMPETITION

as illustrated by brandy and her stick (wand?), it’s vital to the spirit of sloshball that people care about winning. or at least, pretend to care. or, bare minimum, care after a few beers.

3. APPROPRIATE UNIFORMS

this ain’t badminton, guys. you can’t play this game in petticoats and corsets! the recommended wardrobe for sloshball is something comfortable and easily cleaned (thankfully, beer doesn’t stain). eccentric socks and/or shoes are a nice touch, as exhibited by joah. i like to think those socks were the REAL source of his power, just like rainbow brite!.

4. A COMPLETE DISREGARD FOR THE LAW

don’t worry, officer, we weren’t using martini glasses OR beer mugs.

5. THE KEG

this one’s obvious, because you can’t play slosbhall without a ton of beer second base!

6. A VAGUE SET OF RULES

in general, the rules for sloshball mirror those of kickball. that is, until a few innings have been played. then, things start to get a little… hazy. so it’s important to start the game with a clear understanding of basic guidelines, like what constitutes an out and, more importantly, the answer to jenny’s question in this video:

once you have all of these components, YOU’RE READY TO PLAY! and by that i mean, YOU’RE READY TO FIGHT! cos, in the end, sloshball isn’t about athleticism, or sportsmanship. it’s about RIDICULOUS ARGUMENTS!

really, isn’t that what *all* sports are about?

just watch this video and FEEL THE EPIC POWER OF THE SLOSH:

and, can you believe it, miles slept through the whole thing!

even though things got intensity in ten cities, rest assured that sloshball only *strengthens* friendships. sure, it may test them severely, and there was one time when i thought erica was gonna punch henri in the face, but in the end, the spirit of the sport fans the flames not of rivalry, but of pantship.

see what i mean?

the next sloshball game is scheduled for march, and WHO WANTS TO BE ON MY TEAM? i promise, if a ball is coming towards us, i will totally get out of the way.

but that is EXACTLY why you need my guide to camping. see, i recently journeyed to the small town of shelby, outside of brenham, to celebrate the birthday of matt, The Bearded [But Currently Just Mustachioed] One. and this experience proved that ANYONE, even a big weenie pants like me, can enjoy camping. all you have to do is gather these necessary ingredients!

THE ESSENTIALS:

1. PANTSERS, of course!

because even REI hasn’t figured out how to make camping equipment that can drink with you, convo with you and, most importantly, make you laugh til you snort beer out of yr nose.

2. A GOURMET CHEF

after friendship, food is the most vital ingredient for camping survival. i realize not everyone is lucky enough to have a friend like matt, who not only cooks delicious food but is willing to do so, for everyone, on his own freaking birthday, but THAT’S WHY YOU NEED TO BE FRIENDS WITH MATT. i mean, besides the obvious reason that he is awesome.

3. A RELIABLE TENT

yeah, after seeing the magically palatial tents in the harry potter movies, the FYA ladies were NOT impressed with the muggle version.

4. A FIRE CIRCLE

in addition to providing warmth, the fire offers a gathering place for community building, i.e. shooting the shizz and playing drinking games. and for ray specifically, it’s the perfect excuse for burning anything he can get his hands on. RAY PLEASE STOP PUTTING THINGS IN THE FIRE.

so, those are the bare bones of a great camping trip. but if you want to make it AWESOME, you gotta add…

BONUS ITEMS (organized by category):

FOOD & BEVERAGES

1. S’MORES MAJOR DUH.

like you need an explanation for why roasted marshmallows combined with chocolate and graham crackers is a good idea, but IF YOU DO, crazy person, just see m’elle’s face.

2. CHAMP CANS!

i love the versatility of champ cans. they work equally as well at fancy pants parties AND rustic getaways. chameleonic but always classy, they’re like the meryl streep of adult beverages.

3. A MASTER BARTENDER

the size of that shaker alone should tell you that eric means SERIOUS BUSINESS. as for the contents, well, i’m pretty sure the town of shelby ain’t never seen fancy bloody marys like this:

4. CHILI’S

i know what you’re thinking. “but, sarah, chili’s is a RESTAURANT. that totally doesn’t count as camping.” to which i would respond: WHO’S GUIDE IS THIS? simmer down and let me explain. see, chili’s is the kind of restaurant that becomes insanely amazing only on v. specific occasions, and camping is one of them (the other is the airport). just TRUST.

ENTERTAINMENT

1. PRETTY SCENERY

sure, there’s no water in that lake, but do meredith and erica mind? not at all! because just being out in nature makes people feel all introspective and reflective and then friendship time feels even more special! YAY!

2. DOGGIES

we had a LOT of dogs running around all weekend, being all excited and waggy and adorable. and just like staring at the fire, watching dogs NEVER gets old. never.

pro-tip: add some ridiculous boys to the mix, and the entertainment value goes straight through the roof.

3. SHOOTING STUFF

you guys look i shot a gun! in fact, i shot TWO guns, a 22 and a shotgun. and it was fun! i hit some old cans! and a bucket! and the dirt! but even while shooting, you can see by the picture that i still tried to stay as far away from the gun as possible, because they’re dangerous, kids! and just so everyone (i.e. dad) knows, ray and matt were v. v. safety conscious, and everyone was super careful and no one got hurt, besides those cans that I TOTALLY KILLED.

4. AN ELECTRIC FENCE

y’all, if i lived in the country, i wouldn’t even own a TV– i’d just install lots of electrical fences and invite people over to double dare each other to touch them. ENDLESS HOURS OF ENTERTAINMENT. and even though george is trying to be all manly and like “no big deal” about it at the beginning of the video, you can see by *my* reaction that the fence, was, in fact, a big deal. a big deal of SHOCK AND AWE.

LABOR

1. MANLY MEN

this is the only item in this category, because it’s the only item you need to insure that you will do absolutely no work while camping. manly men like to prove their masculinity by putting up the tent, maintaining the fire, and basically doing anything that requires physical exertion, leaving you to focus on being a lady (or gentleman) of leisure.

pro-tip: former eagle scouts are a plus. exhibit A-Z:

thus ends my guide to camping. i hope you’ve enjoyed it, and i guarantee that if you follow it closely, you’ll be a happy camper, just like this birthday boy:

CAMP ON, CAMPERS!

1. WURSTFEST!

they should really call this festival “BEER&FRIEDFOODOMGIT’STHEBESTTIMEFEST” but i guess that’s not as catchy.

i know that pitcher tower is distracting, but look! it’s mandy! yay!

2. CRAPPY AND KINDA SCARY CARNIVAL RIDES!

you guys i have never ridden a gravitron before, because i was always worried i would totes hurl. but this is a star ship, not a gravitron, right? RIGHT? um… OMG.

even though i was completely fooled by the signage and completely convincing ship exterior, the gravitron was actually a lot of fun, and i didn’t get sick! WIN.

3. SHOTS ON THE STREET!

apparently, it is perfectly legal to set up a bar on the sidewalk outside of wurstfest. best edition of SHAH-SHAH-SH-SH-SH-SHOTS ever.

4. HENRI’S NOSTALGIC TRIP TO GUMBY’S

on the way home from wursfest, we stopped in san marcos so that henri, aka that old dude, could visit his post-college employer, gumby’s pizza. he actually worked at the one in austin, which is now closed, so this was a bittersweet visit. but i’ll tell you what WASN’T bittersweet. THE POKEY STIX! they were, in fact, extreme tasty business.

5. GRANDPA TIM!

YES YES Y’ALL! tim came to austin to celebrate his 30th birthday!! we got to hang out for four days! TIM I MISS YOU ALREADY.

6. THE JAY-Z & BEYONCE SINGALONG

not only was this singalong dance-tastic, but we also got jay-z glasses that were so cheap, they led to this amazing photo. SHYEAH!

7. BECKY!

becky came to austin for a conference, so we got to hang out after TWO YEARS of not seeing each other. WHAT! i know. she even came to the sing-along, thus the ring. cos she ain’t a single lady!

8. MEXICAN MARTINIS

i suppose i should make ray #8, but MEXICAN MARTINIS ARE SO GOOD YOU GUYS.

9. RAY READING “DINOSAUR VS. THE POTTY”

i asked ray to read my new favorite book, and it will probably go down in history as the Greatest Story Time of All Time.

10. REEVES AND HER INABILITY TO TAKE A NORMAL PHOTO

in place of a caption, i will point you in the direction of logan’s face.

11. KARAOKE IN THE XANADU ROOM

as part of tim’s birthday festivities, we reserved the xanadu room at the highball and karaoked our pants off. not that we need any help being awesomely ridiculous, but i’m not gonna lie, the white fur walls certainly didn’t hurt.

12. BOYS WHO LOVE EACH OTHER

any pairing of tim, ray and henri ALWAYS results in lots of sweet boy love. BROTHERS GOTTA HUG!

oh yeah, there’s more.

13. SUPER SHINY MEREDITH!

GOOD LORD! SHIELD YR FACE! human eyeballs are no match for the glittery power of meredith sporting a sequined tank top, jacket, purse and, most dazzling of all, her personality!

14. WINERY TOUR!

after a three year hiatus, pants world finally journeyed forth on another winery tour to (further) celebrate tim’s birthday! and it was SPLENDID! we chartered a shuttle and visited three wineries near fredericksburg, sampling wine, eating snacks and convo-ing it up. sounds pretty amazing, right jenny?

seriously, y’all, it was A PERFECT DAY OF ABSOLUTELY PERFECT PERFECTION, including items 15-18 on this list:

15. TEXAS AUTUMN

note the lack of coats. and the sunshine. and hey, there’s even a few leaves changing color! TEXAS I LU.

based on that picture, i just decided that pants world really, really needs to send out a photo xmas card this year. MAYBE EVEN WITH A SNOWFLAKE GLITTER BORDER!

16. PHOTO BANDITS

photo banditing is a popular sport in pants world, as illustrated by two of its top athletes, henri (above) and trish (below), also known as The Finger.

17. FAUX SENIOR PORTRAITS

amber, i can’t believe we’re finally graduating. we’ve had so many good times, and I KNOW WE’LL ALWAYS BE FRIENDS! call me this summer!! let’s go to target and do some dorm shopping together!!! SENIORS RULE! LOVE YOU GIRL!

18. KIDS IN LEAVES!

oh little girl, you have no idea how much i want to be besties with you. we could form a pink chucks princess club!!!!

19. MY NEW JOB!

BREAKING NEWS F’REALS: i got a new job! i know it’s weird to tell you that via a long list but this is DEFINITELY something that makes me super, duper pantsy. i’m gonna be the special events manager at the highball!!! I CAN’T BELIEVE IT I’M SO EXCITED!!! basically i get to do what i already do (planner pants the shizz outta fun) at a place i frequent… and GET PAID FOR IT! it’s gonna be a big change for me, professionally, and i’m kinda scared, but i know it’s the right thing to do. WISH ME LUCK!

20. MY LIFE!

this shouldn’t really be an item, but more of a total, because when you add up all of these reasons, they make me, posh deluxe, THE LUCKIEST PANTS IN THE WORLD!

oh man i love halloween. sure, it’s a great excuse to shove lots of mellowcreme pumpkins into my belleh, but the main reason is probably the whole regression to childhood thing. even though i’m an adult (cough), i get to dress up! i get to decorate my apartment with fake leaves and cheesy plastic decorations! i get to eat as much candy as i want! and of course, i get to carve pumpkins and get lots of nasty goop all over myself!

trish and chris started my halloween season off right with a pumpkin carving party at their house! little did i realize that i would be in the company of highly experienced artisans.

jeni’s hello kitty is ALMOST as cute as she is. and check out chris’ sirius black! DUDE DID YOU USE MAGIC TO CARVE THAT THING?

i brought desiree along to the party and let her pick out a design, because i’m constantly trying to prove to the world that even though i’m an only child, i can share. desiree, of course, picked out a design with A BILLION SMALL HOLES IN IT.

you might think that’s confidence on her face, but in reality, it’s the knowledge that she’s going to make me cut out 90% of those holes.

after lots of tiny sawing and several mini-twix, we turned out a pretty decent jason voorhees!

the next stop on my festive october tour was actually not halloween-related, but it was most definitely spooktacular! last saturday, the austin satellite of the rally to restore sanity was held in front of the capitol, and henri got to be the MC!

look how political he looks!!! he, of course, did a marvelous job, and the austin rally was a smashing success. check out all of these incredibly sane people:

and look, there’s henri ON THE JUMBO SCREEN!

i should probably mention that the rally wasn’t actually about henri. rather, it was a call for bipartisanship and reasonable, balanced political conversation. and guess who’s a big supporter of this idea? lizzie!

that’s right, girlfriend drove all the way from houston just to attend the rally and show her love for mr. stephen colbert!

apparently there were at least 4500 people at the capitol, which is AWESOME, and it obviously made a difference in the midterm elections because… um…

SO ANYWAY HALLOWEEN!

on saturday night (the 30th), matt and meredith came to town to join us for the zombie ball. we, of course, dressed accordingly.

I KNOW RIGHT? BIANCA’S CONTACTS WERE SO FREAKY! and that’s just a photograph! imagine trying to talk to her over dinner about menu options and GAH I COULD NOT MAKE EYE CONTACT.

that’s right, i was an 80s party zombie! or, more accurately, “whatever kind of zombie would wear this AMAZ dress i found at the thrift store for $3.80!”

george and jenny, per yooj, really brought it. they were probably the classiest zombies to ever grace (stumble upon?) this planet.

meredith and matt weren’t zombies, which was good, cos otherwise we would’ve been even more brainless at the end of the night then we already were. meredith was hit girl, and matt was big daddy! HOW PERFECT ARE THEY?

i think meredith should wear that belt every day, btw.

while waiting to get into the zombie ball, we spotted some excellent costumes. these girls were the cutest! and they even yelled “CARE BEAR STARE!” right before i took this picture.

unfortunately, we didn’t actually make it into the party due to some ticket issues. but if there’s anything pants world knows how to do, it’s PREVAIL AGAINST THE ODDS AND HAVE THE BEST NIGHT EVER. and that’s exactly what we did! i got a text from reeves telling me that she and logan were at a nearby bar, so we set off on a quest to find them!

along the way, i found this FABULOUS DONUT LADY!!!

i’ve never wanted to eat a piece of clothing so much in my life. also HELLO GUN SHOW.

caitlin joined our intrepid little group and added some housewife flair to our zombie vibe.

and we found logan and reeves! and they were dressed up like roger & jessica rabbit!!!

they’re not drunk, they’re just drawn that way.

it was definitely the most ridiculously fun night ever had by undead people. we drank, we talked, we loved the shizz out of each other!

which, for zombies, means biting. lots and lots of biting.

i know, our capacity for ridiculousness is frightening. although it’s not nearly as scary as this picture:

what do you think, guys? new facebook profile? passport picture? eh?

things got even grosser on actual halloween night, when tons of decaying flesh invaded the highball for the zombie prom. check out preacher elvis (mark) and lol cat (leslie):

seriously, major pants to mark on the hair (and grody make-up!) and leslie on the shirt, which made me giggle even more at her costume. ZOMBIE SQUEE.

there was also a celebrity undead in attendance: weird al yankovic!

ok, that’s actually henri’s co-worker john, not weird al. but the resemblance is uncanny, no?

john’s friend won the I Totally Grossed Sarah Out award for the night, which is a pretty easy award to win, actually. but you guys, look at her chin. LOOK AT HER CHIN. THERE IS A NIGHTMARE HAPPENING THERE.

AUUUGHHHH. MUST LOOK AWAY. so um let’s think about happy things! like you’ve got mail! and puppies! and hey, the cranberries!

that’s right, to open up the party, henri and greg karaoked to “zombie,” with greg singing and henri mostly going “MWWARRM. RARRWRHM.” it was spellbinding and, i’m sure, exactly the way the cranberries intended it.

since it was a prom, we didn’t just spazz to the usual jams. we also got to slow dance!!! y’all i love slow dancing! and i esp. love zombie slow dancing! because then you can disguise yr real awkwardness by pretending that yr limbs are atrophying!

even though that white make-up is terrible for my skin, i really loved being a zombie! it’s way more fun than, for example, being a depressed voter. ANYHOO! did y’all have a good halloween? what did you dress up like? and does anyone have any leftover mini reese’s peanut butter cups? that they might want to share? inquiring 80s party zombies want to know!

in the spirit of halloween, i offer you three posts from october of 1994, featuring such highlights as:

• driver’s ed (remember when you thought it would be impossible to drive normally?)
• keanu (obvs!)
• astroworld!!! RIP!
• mac & cheese (unlike my love for keanu, my obsession for mac & cheese has never weakened)

10/11/94

This whole week is one jam packed full day after another. I had Driver’s Ed until 6:45, then finished my English essay, ate dinner, studied for my Chem test, then dutifully researched for my English project [ed. note: nerd!!]. I even taped Wings instead of watching it (whoah). I also remembered about the CFC bake sale tomorrow, and my lovely mother baked lemon bars for it.

The math test was easy– I checked for careless mistakes (kinda) and everything. I drove horribly today– almost ran into another car twice (the second time it was reeeeally close). I felt so embarrassed and stupid and I’m sorry if I can’t remember to slow down, look every which way, signal, turn the wheel the correct hand way and the certain number of degrees, all at the same time. I do one thing right, but then something else will go wrong. Frustration down in the City of Sarah. And more to come tomorrow– greeeeat.

10/14/94

I can’t drive!!! Arghhh! Or, should I say, I can’t turn!!! I am very discouraged! But I do like driving on freeways.

I watched the second half of “Much Ado About Nothing”!!!! Can you believe it’s finally on the Disney Channel? Keanu is so mean and evil– I love it!!! I now have it on tape!

Becky and Talena came over and we spent about 5 and 1/2 hours working on our video– and we still haven’t finished! I wish I had a better *talking* vocabulary. I do ok when I’m writing a paper, because I have time to think about it. But when I’m talking, I say “you know” and “like” and “cool” so much! I hate it!

P.S. We went to Luby’s yesterday, and I got the first scoop of macaroni & cheese from the pan.

10/23/94

On Friday, I FINISHED DRIVER’S ED! It was a very momentous occasion. Can you believe I finished?! How exciting!!! As I was walking across the parking lot, the band was playing “Indiana Jones” and I began to kind of march, holding my head high, feeling like they were playing for me [ed. note: ahh, teenie sarah, you are adorbs!].

Then Becky, Emily, Mom and I went to Fright Fest at Astroworld. We went on the Looping Starship, waited in line for Texas Cyclone but then it closed, then went to the Horizons theater to see this scary film. It’s where you lie down and the screen is on the ceiling and it’s almost like you are there. The movie was kind of stupid, but some parts were scary. At one part, this guy catches on fire, and Emily shouts out, “STOP, DROP AND ROLL!” and it was very funny.

Then we went to a Haunted House and I got sooo scared before we went inside. But I kept saying to myself– they’re all just normal people. We went inside and I cowered behind Emily with a tight grip on her shirt (I think it is now two sizes larger). At first I was scared and screaming my head off, but then I started to yell, “You’re all normal people! Just normal people!” Then it started to get fun and this grim reaper came up to me and I screamed in its face “YOU’RE A NORMAL PERSON!” and it kind of backed off. It was hilarious.

Then Emily and I rode the Viper twice– once in the back car, once in the front car. There was this reeeeally cute guy named Aaron that was checking the safety bars, so I said hi to him. Then the announcer said it was his birthday so I told him happy birthday. Cool!!

HA HA JUST KIDDING. henri and i went to NYC for our fourth annual trip to the new yorker festival!

the festival is always a great excuse to visit the big apple, cos we get to see interesting speakers, cool celebs and our even cooler friends! plus need i mention THE UNSANE TASTY BUSINESS?

this year, henri swapped apartments with his friend chris, so we stayed in his adorable little apartment in fort greene. with its lofted bed, the place actually reminded me of the rooms at wiess college, except classier and with less health hazards. as you can see in this picture, henri is SUCH a morning person.

unfortunately, flossie totally flaked out on me during our first two nights in town (girlfriend is ITCHING for her social security), so this next segment will be less phototastic than usual. i did, however, have the power of henri’s iphone, so don’t worry, yr imagination won’t have to work too hard.

after we landed on thursday night, henri and i met up with ryan, ben and chris in fort greene for dinner, then proceeded on to a dive bar, where we had an insanely intense, in depth discussion on tom hanks. there are a few pictures from that night, but since they mostly involve henri’s face below hilariously lewd graffiti, i’ll let them stay safely (?!) on his phone.

on friday, we palled around with ryan in fort greene, then headed into the city for “the social network” screening! here’s henri and i, sharing earbuds on the subway because we wanted to be particularly adorable:

um, if you’ve seen “the social network,” then you can guess how much it completely blew me away with its awesomeness. and if you’ve ever seen justin timberlake, then you can guess how much MY PANTS MELTED INTO A BALL OF FLAMES because HE WAS THERE IN PERSON! OMG!! there was a Q&A afterwards with him, jesse eisenberg (LU) and aaron sorkin, and it was fascinating to hear about the amount of research, not to mention takes (it IS david fincher, after all) that went into making such a fantastic film. justin was actually v. low key and seemed surprisingly humble; he talked about how many times he had to audition for the role, and in the midst of that period, he ran into sean parker who asked, “hey, aren’t you playing me in the facebook movie?” to which justin replied, “um, maybe?” i guess that’s slightly less awkward than saying, “HECK YES and i’m gonna make you look like such a douchebag, dude!”

after the Q&A, henri and i had dinner at sugiyama, this OUTRAGEOUSLY DELICIOUS japanese restaurant. we chose the kaiseki, which is like a six course dinner of AMAZ sushi, soup and other japanese goodness.

i think my favorite thing about japanese food is that it’s incredibly adorable without sacrificing any of its tasty business credibility. i mean, look at this monkfish liver that came with its own tiny spoon! I LOVE TINY UTENSILS.

the winner of “most precious food item of the night” goes to this sugar bean (well, it was SOME kind of bean) encased in a cube of clear grape jello! SQUEELICIOUS.

following dinner, we met up with reeves and logan!

you might be thinking, “hold up! reeves and logan live in austin!” and yes, dear reader, they do. but they were in NYC at the same time we were! and even more exciting, THEY GOT ENGAGED THERE! so friday night, we met up with them and their friends and celebrated our faces off!!

even though logan and reeves had their photos taken leading up to the surprise proposal, henri and i consider the above money shot to be their Official Engagement Portrait.

saturday morning, we had brunch with ryan and ben…

… and erika and jeff! YAY FACES J’ADORE.

thanks to ryan’s excellent taste (LITERALLY), we met at no. 7, where i feasted upon a sandwich made with english muffin, scrambled eggs, smoked cheddar and FRIED BROCCOLI YES YES Y’ALL.

just like its cousin french fry, fried broccoli proves that the easiest way to increase the desirability of a vegetable is by making it as unhealthy as possible.

the weather was GORGE McGORGE, so we wandered around the brooklyn flea market, bustling with funky antiques, nifty crafts and lots of hipsters.

my favorite thing i found at the market was AMBER! yay! my second favorite was the kumquat cupcake booth!

no, yr eyes doth not deceive you. THERE WAS BACON ON TOP OF MY CUPCAKE.

the bacon was nicely complimented by maple cinnamon cake and vanilla frosting and was quickly put INTO MY BELLY for safekeeping.

amber, ben, henri and i spent the rest of the afternoon at the lovely backyard patio of dino, where we nursed cocktails and shared a bowl of spinach gnocchi:

even more importantly, amber, who is getting married in august, asked me to be her bridesmaid!! YAY!! um, i said yes, duh. I LOVE WEDDINGS!

henri and i subwayed back into manhattan for our next NYF event, an interview with paul reubens! now, you may already love pee-wee herman (as well you should), but i’m here to tell you that paul is EQUALLY as delightful and adorable, and with a less cartoonish voice. here’s the beginning of the interview, where paul discovers THE WORD OF THE DAY (psst! it’s “broadway”):

one of the things i love about the NYF is the intimate, reverent feel of the events. there’s no swimfans (well, ok, there are, but we act like normal people), no hype, and no flashbulbs, so i always feel like i’m hanging out in an exceptionally large living room, discovering marvelous things about people i admire. for example, the birth of pee-wee:

and, perhaps the most shocking revelation of the entire festival: the origin of the pee-wee dance!!!!!!

feeling absolutely charmed and, i admit, even more childlike than usual, henri and i cabbed it up to meet amber and ben at our second event of the night, a screening  of “sympathy for delicious,” which JUST SO HAPPENS to be directed by the one and only MARK “MY FREEBIE” RUFFALO!!!!! AND YES YOU GUYS HE WAS THERE, looking just as handsome and wonderful as i expected.

but you know who ELSE was there? ethan hawke, who isn’t even in the movie! and since i just showed “reality bites” for girlie night at the ritz, i kind of felt like smacking him in the face for being such a jerkface to winona.

and you know who ELSE ELSE was there? this really, really nice, sweetly  eccentric older lady who made friends with us (and particularly amber and ben, and PARTICULARLY ben) in line, who turned out to be… kurt vonnegut’s widow, jill krementz! I KNOW RIGHT?! NEW YORK YOU SO CRAZY! even better, jill’s the author of some of amber’s favorite childhood books, specifically “a very young dancer,” so it was just a clustercuss of awesome surprises. she even sat with us for the movie and told amber she wants to attend the wedding. AMBER PLZ INVITE HER.

the movie itself… well, i gotta be honest with y’all. it wasn’t the greatest. in fact, there were some severe plot problems. but you know what made up for it? the fact that I BREATHED THE SAME AIR AS MARK RUFFALO.

he came out with the writer and star of the film, christopher thornton, for the Q&A, and they talked about all of the shizz that happened in the ten years it took them to make this film:

they also joked a lot about it being mark’s first gig as a director and the intensity on set due to the speed of the shoot:

while the movie failed to wow me, the event itself only made me fall in LURVE with mark ruffalo even more, esp. when i got to SHAKE HIS HAND AND TALK TO HIM. YOU GUYS. NOT JUST AN ARM TOUCH, AN ACTUAL CONVERSATION! WITH EYE CONTACT!!! MY PANTS DIED AND WENT TO HEAVEN!!!!

following this monumental event, amber, ben, henri and i celebrated with drinks at the coffee shop:

i really liked this bar, cos it felt posh and hip without being TOO posh and hip. here’s ben and amber, doing a romantic twist on I DRINK YR MILKSHAKE.

i, of course, had the mac & cheese with truffles, because MY NAME IS SARAH.

salad, quit hogging the spotlight! i mean, you were nice and all, but the mac & cheese had me at “hello” (hey, it’s like the tasty business equivalent of mark ruffalo!).

the next day, sunday, i took henri to the lower east side for some food appreciation at the meatball shop, where amber and ben took me back in may. it was just as delish as i remembered, plus it reminds me of “cloudy with a chance of meatballs,” only less messy and stormy.

that afternoon, we attended our last event of the festival, a panel of folks on saturday night live. even though i don’t watch the show religiously anymore, i still check out a few skits online every week, and i don’t think i will ever lose my admiration for the comedic creativity and hard work required to put on SNL. we were lucky enough to see some of the star players, including kristen wiig (she’s so pretty!), andy samberg and fred armisen.

unfortunately, that’s the only video i have from the event, cos some staff lady told me to put my camera away even though i didn’t see ANY signage prohibiting cameras (LAME!). but while i don’t remember any of the jokes, trust me when i say that this panel was RIDICULOUSLY entertaining. it’s obvious that these people really love working together, and i walked out of that theater wishing i could be a part of that late night family, even if it just meant being, like, someone’s secretary, or the wig assistant, because working on SNL seems like a constant slumber party of hilarity. seriously, lorne, if you hire me, I’LL BRING DORITOS *AND* A MAGIC EIGHT BALL.

but even if SNL isn’t in the cards (or should i say ouija board?) for me, i’m not worried about a lack of slumber parties. first of all, because DO YOU KNOW ME? secondly, i now have even MORE lovely lady friends in NYC! sunday night, henri and i headed over to willamsburg to meet up with rebecca serle, the dynamo who interviewed FYA for the huffington post, and leila sales, the author of my hands down favorite book from the 2010 book expo, “mostly good girls.” you know how you meet someone on the internet, and then you hang out in person, and they’re not nearly as fabulous as they seemed online? well, my evening with rebecca and leila (and their fantastic friend katie, who found FYA in the first place!) was, like, a freaking commercial for eharmony. i’m talking LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT.

we met up at hotel delmano, this antique-y feeling fancy pants cocktail bar:

i know some people make fun of mixology, but i’m here to testify to the fact that a cocktail with fresh lime, cinnamon-vanilla syrup, pineapple-infused tequila and mole bitters is a *serious* advancement in alcohol technology, not to mention A GIFT TO ALL OF MANKIND.

afterwards, we had thai food at “sea,” which feels like a cray nightclub, complete with thumping bass and pod bathrooms from the future.

from l-r, katie, leila, me, rebecca

LOOK AT OUR HAPPY FACES! WE LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH! and it wasn’t just because of the YA connection. there was some serious kindred spirit business happening, to the point where they were taking goofy pictures with henri a mere three hours after meeting us.

well, henri does have that effect on people.

ladies, i will see you in may for books galore and champers extra galore!

before leaving on monday, i managed to squeeze in one more bit of tasty business research at paul’s da burger joint:

y’all, this place is FOR REAL. as are their burgers:

SERIOUS BIZNESS.

thanks to my friend jen for recommending such a legit place, which was the perfect way to kiss NYC good-bye.

ok, well, maybe seeing mark ruffalo again would’ve been the *perfect* way, esp. if it involved me suddenly becoming a filthy rich 30-year-old magazine editor in the middle of a closet make-over montage. but you know, with all of my tasty business and lovely friends and new york gallivanting, i think i’m pretty ok with imperfection.

till next time, new york, MWAH!

it began with this:

i mean, of course!

that’s right, tim & co. chose to launch the festival by dressing up like vikings and singing a led zeppelin song. and if you’re thinking, “wait, WHAT NOW?” then WELCOME TO FANTASTIC FEST:

this ridiculousness was immediately followed by a boy’s choir hired to serenade the audience for the premiere of “let me in.” which not only tells you a lot about the schizophrenia of the festival but also led to my favorite moment backstage:

SCARRED 4 LIFE.

henri and i caught the second show of the night, “buried,” which i was kind of scared to watch but OMG RYAN REYNOLDS WAS GONNA BE THERE so, in honor of the abs, i persevered. and guess what? the movie was actually pretty awesome! and i mean awesome in a terrifying, awful, nightmares for the rest of my life kind of way. then, after the screening, tim came out for a Q&A with rodrigo cortes, the director, and MR. HOTTIE MCREYNOLDS!

you guys, ryan reynolds is pretty tall. and also SMOKIN HOT (but duh! you already know that). he was super charming during the Q&A, even when he was whining about the challenge of filming an entire movie inside of a coffin:

ok, ok, i feel bad for you, ryan. esp. cos now you and yr glorious physique will never grace a beach again:

but the best thing that happened with ryan reynolds (OMG I LOVE TYPING THAT) occurred on the red carpet before the screening, when henri got to interview him (!!) and ask him THE BEST QUESTION EVER. no, it wasn’t “will you let my girlfriend touch yr arm?” so, ok, SECOND best question (it’s at the end):

RYAN REYNOLDS TOUCHED HENRI’S STOMACH. and that, ladies and gentlemen, is just one of the many randomly amazing things that happens every year at fantastic fest.

another even GREATER example is the appearance of my old pal, bill pullman! you may recall his epic driskell party of ’08, and apparently he remembered it (?!) as well, cos he came back! and since he’s such a nice guy, he even watched master pancake mock one of the best films in his repertoire: “independence day.” in case you need a reminder of bill’s presidential skills, here’s the audience quoting along to his big moment in the movie, aka THE MOST INSPIRING PRESIDENTIAL SPEECH EVER GIVEN:

you may be thinking, “posh, what could possibly top that moment?!” well, i’ll show you! check out bill reading the speech written for him by master pancake, in which he rouses the spirit of the crowd with ST. PATRICK’S DAY!

and that’s not all bill p. did for the alamo. ooooh no. he also agreed to watch “spaceballs” for the first time SINCE IT CAME OUT! and even though that’s a pretty long time, i was relieved to know that lone star’s fighting skills are still outta this world:

per fantastic fest tradition (i really love saying something is a tradition even if it’s only happened once before, cos it makes it feel more meaningful, you know?), we headed over to bill’s hotel room at the driskell for the after-party. we were joined by lots of my fave austin pantsers, plus some out of towners like miss amber b!

because reeves and i are secretly six years old and can’t help ourselves, we immediately tried on the fancy hotel robes.

bill followed our lead, but because he’s bill, he managed to make it look less slumber party and more stately.

and because this is a fantastic fest party, things, of course, got a little cray…

… so after a v. polite complaint, we moved to a place where no one was trying to hate fun sleep: reeves’ store, plain ivey jane!

y’all, i gotta say, chic boutiques are IDEAL for after-after-parties. not only could we be as LOUD AS WE WANTED TO BE, but i also felt super cosmo! i mean, look at these people. they are the HEIGHT of sophistication.

because the only seat in the whole place was in the dressing room, and i REALLY had to sit down, i started feeling like an old gypsy woman (naturally!). and if there’s one thing old gypsy women do, it’s read palms. so even though i don’t know shizz about palmistry, i started giving people at the party insanely amazing palm readings. i mean, one look at meredith’s face and you KNOW i gave her an excellent future full of romance, overflowing riches and YES MAYBE EVEN A UNICORN.

i seriously think i read every single person’s palm at the party, and i even read karrie’s taco from TC (that took a lot of spiritual focus, lemme tell you). given my current salary, i really should set up my own business and start wearing lots of scarves and eyeliner and oooh maybe even a wig! i’ve already got photos of my most famous clients to display in the lobby!

photos provided by erik. thanks mister!

the dude in this photo is elijah wood, although unfortunately his face is overshadowed by my MYSTIC STARE:

he ate up every word, btw. EVERY WORD.

with no one to call and complain, the party got MAJORLY OTC, as all after-after-parties should. we really made r. kelly proud!

thanks to superstar pants reeves, our gracious hostess, this turned out to be my favorite party of the fest, as you probably already concluded, because i just showed you lots of crazy pictures. but also cos you’re smart! don’t underestimate yrself!

the next day at lunch, henri and i asked bill what he wanted to do for the rest of the day. his reply? “ZIPLINING!”

so… we went ziplining!

i know, how cute are we? how cute and DARING?!!!!

this is actually the same place we journeyed to for the indiana jones rolling roadshow, but it felt like a whole new experience this time around! first, because the sun was up, and second, because BILL PULLMAN!

it is really hard not to look dorky in those helmets, but we tried. ok, well, *i* tried. these guys… not so much.

i didn’t think the day could possibly get any better, but then we went to the stephen f. austin bar and bill pullman ordered mac & cheese! HE ORDERED MAC AND CHEESE. YOU GUYS. WHAT. THE. WHAT.

BEST PICTURE OF THE FESTIVAL (so far in this blog post).

we ended up at the highball for some karaoke, which quickly devolved, as it always does, into sheer, unbridled CRAZY CRAY CRAY. check out henri, tim, elijah, the RZA (yeah, he was there too! i know, right?!), mike and nacho tear up some black eyed peas:

i’d like to note that halfway through this song, tim threw his belt into the audience and directly into my face. THANKS TIM.

it was a tough act to follow, but jenny, meredith and i are totes karaoke professionals. so professional, in fact, that we brought up our own back-up dancers: erik, logan and bill! and by the end of the song, it most certainly was raining men on that stage:

by this point, you can probably guess what we did after karaoke. here’s a hint: it’s a fantastic fest tradition!

that’s right, smarty pants, we had a party at bill’s hotel room! and for that night, he’d moved to the governor’s suite at the stephen f. austin, which meant it was an ULTRA DIGNIFIED SOIREE! the curtains alone gave meredith some serious scarlett o’hara visions:

the hotel staff was ridiculously nice to us and said we could have whatever we wanted, cos we were in the governor’s suite! unfortunately, no one else wanted a hedge maze, so we just got lots of glasses and mixers instead:

i actually excused myself from the party early (well, by alamo standards), because my pants were fantastic fested out! but i will leave you with this “hey, we’re in the governor’s suite, let’s take some silly photos!” picture, which is my most favorite photograph from the entire festival and maybe even of all time, because it is just so FULL OF WIN:

bill pullman, i would so totally vote for you for governor. and then OMG pants world could be yr legislature and we could pass a bill to make mac & cheese the official state food and then pass another bill to make fantastic fest last ALL YEAR LONG and then we would probably die. but still. it would be the best government EVER.

so here’s to you, fantastic fest 2010! thanks for karaoking, dancing, palm-reading and ziplining MY PANTS OFF. i’ll see you next year, after i’ve slept a billion hours. STAY CRAZY!