culturelux

it’s the 2009 poshie awards! YES YES Y’ALL!

lady pants and gentlemen pants, it’s the moment you’ve all been waiting for (ok, well, besides dinner time): THE 2009 POSHIE AWARDS!!! THROW SOME CONFETTI UP IN THE AIR IF YOU HAVE SOME!!!!

before we begin, let me just say that the competition this year was fiercer than beyonce in a leotard. y’all took the awesomeness to a new level with yr nominations, which often coincided with my own (and i gave you credit, yo!), so that made my final decisions SUPER HARD. with that said, rest assured that i used extremely scientific, highly professional judgment, cos poshies are serious business! hello, you don’t mess around with a golden cupcake encrusted with diamonds!

and so, without further ado, LET’S GET UP ON SOME POSHIES!

MOST COVETED RED CARPET ENSEMBLE

Nominees:

• Abso anything M.I.A. wore while pregnant (Meredith)

• Kate Winslet and Amy Adams at the Oscars and for pure entertaiment’s sake, anything Lady Gaga wore this year (Leslie)

• Taraji P. Henson at the Oscars (Trish)

• Anne Hathaway at the Oscars

• Christina Hendricks at the Emmys

• Leslie Mann at the Oscars

y’all, this was a tough one, but given my affinity for ridiculous amounts of sparkle, i gotta go with the GLAM!

WINNER: LESLIE MANN AT THE OSCARS!

it’s like someone poured a bottle of liquid glitz all over that lady. p.s. if anyone knows where i can find a bottle of liquid glitz, call me!

BEST CELEBRITY SIGHTING

HOLY PANTS you guys, 2009 was the year of celebrity sightings! and also deaths, but let’s not dwell on the macabre. all of these nominees totally deserve a poshie, cos they were so jaw-dropping/awe-inspiring/lust-inducing.

Nominees:

• The Walk-In Freezer Party with Alexander Skarsgard
• Meeting Sara Zarr at the TX Book Festival
• Taylor Kitsch at the Highball (Meredith)
• Winston and I standing next to one of the dudes from Flight of the Concords at SXSW, but not having the courage to say anything (Josh).
• Erica getting a hand-written note from Tammi Taylor on the back of a page of FNL script during an Austin to Boston flight (Josh & Erica).
• Hanging out with members of the FNL cast on SET as extras holla! (Erica)
• Kanye West at the Perez Hilton SXSW Party (Trish)

yo kanye, i’m really happy for you, imma let you finish but alexander skarsgard was the best celebrity encounter of all time!

WINNER: THE WALK-IN FREEZER PARTY WITH ALEXANDER SKARSGARD!!!!

although he’s no bill pullman, alex aka his vampiric hotness knows how to rock a freezer party. not only was this my fave celeb encounter, it was one of the best nights i had all year. skål!!!!

BEST MUSIC ALBUM

Nominees:

• Toss up between Passion Pit and Fever Ray (Meredith)
• St Vincent, or Passion Pit, or Atlas Sound, or Grizzly Bear (Jessica)
• Only Revolutions by Biffy Clyro (John)
• The Big Pink: A Brief History of Love
• Julian Casablancas: Phrazes for the Young
• Zoot Woman: Things Are What They Used To Be
• Phoenix: Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix
• The New Moon Soundtrack (i KNOW, some of you guys are gonna hate on me for this one but seriously, it’s a fantastic collection of songs!)

WINNER: THE BIG PINK!!!

honestly, i really struggled with this category, cos so many great albums came out this year! and i still listen/desk dance to phoenix’s “1901″ on repeat. but overall, i definitely played the big pink the most, so they get the poshie, lucky ducks!

BEST TELEVISION SHOW

Nominees:

• Smallville (Meredith)
• Friday Night Lights (Erica & Leslie)
• 30 Rock (Leslie)
• Glee (Katie & Trish)
• The first season of Heroes (John)

WINNER: FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS!

SWEET FANCY MOSES i wish i could give the cast a poshie in real life. cos then i could, like, hug tami and shake the coach’s hand and FINALLY TOUCH TIM RIGGINS’ ARM GAH!!!!!!!! y’all, i’m so fired up about this show, i’m ready to resort to some evangelical strategery just to get more people to watch it. i mean, who *wouldn’t* pick up a tract if it had riggs on the front?!!

BEST NEW TELEVISION SHOW

WINNER: PARKS & RECREATION!

pssst! so i kind of cheated and added this category so that i could give a poshie to my other favorite show. but that doesn’t make this award any less legit, cos parks & rec makes me LAUGH MY PANTS OFF!!! if you guys aren’t watching it, you need to TUNE IN IMMEDIATELY. amy poehler as leslie snope is a sincerely feminist, incredibly hilarious heroine, and aziz ansari could take me to jurassic fork any day of the week!

RUNNER UP: JERSEY SHORE!

i am not even kidding or being ironic when i say i love this show. i straight up 100% pure LOVE JERSEY SHORE BISHES!!!!!! if you think you’re too good for this show, YOU’RE WRONG.  “jersey shore” is a ridiculous masterpiece of trash, and THAT’S the situation!

BEST MOVIE

Nominees:

• Drag Me to Hell, yo (Meredith)
• Up (Leslie & John)
• Bright Star (Jessica)
• Harry Potter (Trish)
• Adventureland
• Zombieland

WINNER (TIED!!!): Adventureland & Zombieland!

so, i realize that this isn’t the most amazing masterpiece of a film ever made, but there’s something about it… maybe the sweet nostalgia, or maybe martin starr’s greatness, or maybe jesse eisenberg’s total adorableness… that just made me fall in love with it. as the credits rolled to “don’t change,” i immediately knew that i wanted to see it again. and again. and again. plus LISA P!!!!

i admit, a lot of my passion for this movie stems from the viewing experience itself. henri and i saw this when it premiered at fantastic fest at the paramount theater (with woody, jesse and emma in attendance), and i’ve NEVER been with a crowd that was so fist pumpingly into a movie in my LIFE. people cheered! they gasped! they totally freaked the eff out!!! plus there were zombies without it being too scary for a weenie like me! not to mention the best cameo in RECORDED HISTORY.

and yes, i realize that both of the poshie winners feature: amusement parks, the word “land” and jesse eisenberg. hollywood, i hope you’re taking notes because obvs this is the formula for BOX OFFICE GOLD.

BEST HOTNESS

i can’t believe i have to pick ONE winner for this category. it’s totally not fair. lucky for you, i’m including photos for ALL nominees because that’s how the poshies roll.

Nominees:

• Robert Downey, Jr doing any damn thing in a well-tailored suit (Meredith)

• Ryan Reynolds in “The Proposal”… lots of shirtless scenes (Erica)

• TAYLOR LAUTNER’s ABS (Leslie; John nominated the whole of Taylor)

• In the vein of “Bright Star,” Ben Whishaw (Jessica)

• Taylor Kitsch as Tim Riggins

SWEET FANCY MOSES WHY DID I JUST UPLOAD ALL OF THOSE SCORCHING HOT PICTURES?!!!! i think my pants are gonna explode before i can hand out this poshie!! hold up, a new poshie category just got invented:

HARDEST POSHIE TO DETERMINE

WINNER: BEST HOTNESS!

ok, ok, enough stalling.

WINNER: TAYLOR LAUTNER

i’m sorry, but THOSE ABS ARE RIDIC. and while the other nominees actually had good shows/movies supporting them, taylor had “new moon,” i.e. NOTHING but his super fine physique. plus, i’m pretty sure his abs are the first ones to get their own vulture slideshow.

p.s. i am available to console any of the losers in this category. FYI.

MOST TRAGIC CELEBRITY BREAK-UP

Nominees:

• Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman (Meredith)
• Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins (Erica, Jessica, John & Trish)
• Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal (Leslie)
• Taylor Swift and Taylor Lautner (i can’t believe no one else mentioned this one?!!!!!)

WINNER: REESE AND JAKE!

YOU GUYS I’M SORRY ABOUT TIM AND SUSAN BUT LOOK THAT THAT!!! look at that love!! look at that adorableness! look at those incredible genes coming together!! I CANNOT BELIEVE REESE BROKE UP WITH HIM! esp. AFTER he got those “prince of persia” muscles WHAT?!!!!! i’ve heard reports that jake is trying to woo reese back PLEASE LET THIS BE TRUE.

BEST CELEBRITY COUPLE

Nominees:

• Rhea Perlman and Danny DeVito (Meredith)
• Jessica Simpson and Billy Corgan just because it’s so awesomely weird (Trish)
• John Krasinski and Emily Blunt

WINNER: JOHN KRASINSKI AND EMILY BLUNT!!!

um, I LOVE YOU GUYS. this poshie might have *something* to do with the fact that i got to meet john k. and he was super nice and also EMILY BLUNT IS SO PRETTY. the only thing that would make me happier about this couple is if they invited me to their wedding (please? i give good dance party!).

BEST COMEBACK

Nominees:

• Britney Spears (MSWR)
• Sandra Bullock
• Mike Tyson (Henri)

you guys, this was a tricky one, mainly cos i wasn’t too excited about any of the nominees (i mean, i love “the proposal” but sandra, what happened to yr face?!). so, i guess i’ll go ahead and give it to the most entertaining nominee:

WINNER: MIKE TYSON!

and yes, this poshie MAY have something to do with that little white dog.

oh man who wants to rewatch “the hangover” with me at the poshie afterparty? PS did you know that ed helms was really missing his front tooth?!!! no joke! henri’s mom told me!

BEST BLOG

WINNER: VULTURE!

obvs i read a ton of blogs, but vulture is always at the top of my RSS priorities. they cover all of the (pop) culture news i’m interested in, plus their slideshows are pretty much the best thing ever. i’m not exaggerating when i say i’ve viewed the show for “34 ways ‘new moon’ the movie is better than ‘new moon’ the book” about 15 times. and not just cos of jacob’s abs.

BEST LOLZ BLOG

WINNER (TIED!!!):

PEOPLE OF WALMART

ooooooh man, you guys. if this blog wasn’t so hilarious, it’d be an incredibly sad commentary on our society. which it is. but it’s also SNORT-INDUCINGLY FUNNY. for examples, go here and here.

REGRETSY

y’all, this is what happens when crafting falls into the wrong hands. not only are the items themselves just completely mind pulverizing, but the captions… THEY CUT ME WITH LAUGHTER. catch the lolz here (the pants!) and here. this site is also responsible for one of my fave new phrases of 2009: CONVO ME!

MOST UN-PUTDOWNABLE BOOK

Nominees:

• Catching Fire (Meredith, Erica, Leslie & Jessica)
• The Road (Josh)
• The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

PLEASE. LIKE THERE’S ANY QUESTION.

WINNER: CATCHING FIRE!

if i haven’t tried to convert you into reading “the hunger games” series (this is the second book), then obvs this is yr v. first visit to le blog. if so, YOU NEED TO LEAVE THE POSHIES IMMEDIATELY AND START READING THESE BOOKS. for further praise, check out the FYA review.

BEST RESTAURANT

Nominees:

• Cafe Red Onion, Houston (Meredith)
• Justine’s (Josh)
• Annie’s (Erica)
• Muthu’s Curry in Singapore (John)
• Uchi (Trish)
• Parkside

WINNER: PARKSIDE!

this was another super tough one, cos y’all know how much i love on uchi! but over the past year, parkside has become almost like a second home to me and lots of other pantsers. everyone there is super friendly, and the food is amazing, and hello half priced champers on wednesdays?! martini mondays? donut holes?!!! i could go on but i’m afraid of getting cut off by the music. needless to say, parkside, please accept this humble token of a (non-existent) poshie statuette in honor of yr MASTERFUL TASTY BUSINESS!

BEST CUPCAKE

• The Sugar Mama cupcakes at my wedding! (Meredith)
• Sugarbabies in Houston (for best new cupcake) (Erica)
• Sugar Mama’s Strawberry Love (Trish)
• Sugar Mama’s Elvis

let’s just say i’m not surprised that sugar mama’s pretty much swept this category.

WINNER: THE SUGAR MAMA’S CUPCAKES AT MEREDITH’S WEDDING!

this nominee has it all: the best flavors (strawberry love! odd couple!), the best baker (olivia!) and the MOST LOVE COS IT WAS MEREDITH’S WEDDING!!! YAY!!! this is sugar mama’s second poshie, which means they are well on their way to a lifetime achievement award (holla!).

BEST MAC ‘N’ CHEESE

Y’ALL I AM HUNGRY LIKE A HIPPO AND THIS IS NOT HELPING.

Nominees:

• The truffle oil and caramelized onion mac and cheese at Publick House in Boston (Meredith)
• Made by my friend Benjy (Josh)
• Parkside (Erica)
• Martha Stewart’s (Trish)

WINNER: PARKSIDE!

first of all, this is the only nominee that i can easily get my hands (tummy) on, so there’s that. but more importantly, parkside’s m&c is just the PERFECT blend of creamy and cheesy and crumbly (on top) and it comes in the cutest little pot!!! last year, parkside lost out to wink, but after sampling both versions again, i’m proud to hand the poshie over to a new winner!

BEST PICTURE OF PANSTERS

Nominees:

• Any from the Love is a Battlefield night at Qua (Meredith, Erica & John)

• Erica & Henri at Epcot

• Any picture from the Schlitterbahn trip

• Group picture from the hip hop class (Erica)

WINNER: THE GROUP PICTURE FROM MY BIRTHDAY HIP HOP CLASS!!!

while i still can’t get over how awesome the qua dance party was, i have to award the poshie to this picture, solely for fitting the most pantsers into one photo. plus um the jazz hands are OUTTA CONTROL.

MOST SQUEEABLE ANIMAL PICTURE

Nominees:

• Zelda covered in mud (Meredith)
• Pug in a sweater

• Pug face melt

• Kitty cocoon

WINNER: PUG IN A SWEATER!!

cos YAY ANIMALS WITH CLOTHES ON!!!! c’mere little pug i need to squish you!!!!!!!

MOST SQUEEABLE ANIMAL VIDEO

LORDY this was an EXTREMELY tight race this year!!!

Nominees:

• One of those little mini animals doing something in the palm of someone’s hand (Meredith)
• The one where the baby panda sneezes and scares mom panda (Josh)
• Surprise Kitty (mbs & Jessica)

• Tickling Slow Loris

• Mishka I love you!

• Puppy Can’t Roll Over!

WINNER: PUPPY CAN’T ROLL OVER!

honestly, i almost cried making this decision, it was so hard. or maybe it was just all of the squee flowing through my nervous system. anyway, the puppy who can’t roll over wins, purely based on the sheer number of times i’ve viewed it and the fact that, every time, without fail, i go, “AWWW LOOK AT HIM!!!”

MOST SQUEEABLE BABY/KID VIDEO

Nominees:

• Baby dancing to “Single Ladies” (Leslie)

• Heal the World

• Kid dancing to “Low”

honestly, i’m surprised there weren’t more nominees in this category! i guess 2009 was more of a baby animal year than a baby human one. with that said…

WINNER: KID DANCING TO “LOW”

um, not only is that one of my favorite dance party songs EVER, but that boy can bust some sweet moves. hello, star of “step up 5H” (H stands for hologram, cos hello, it’ll be the future!).

BEST CELEBRITY BABY

WINNER: SERAPHINA AFFLECK!

holy preciousness, check that little face! seraphina looks like she’s ready to follow in her sister’s footsteps, i.e. be completely adorable without appearing to be super spoiled. and yes, the fact that she’s related to violet totally gave her bonus poshie points.

BEST CELEBRITY TODDLER

Nominees:

• As always, Matilda! (Meredith)

• Suri Cruise (Leslie & Jessica)

• Keri Russell’s little boy, River (and yes, this has more to do with Keri than River, but whatevs!)

• Violet Affleck

WINNER: MATILDA!!

last year, suri totally aced this poshie thanks to her mom’s fashion sense and those incredible pictures of her eating a cupcake. however, matilda truly stole my heart over the course of 2009 because, well, she just seems like an adorable, sweet, normal little girl! which, given her father’s death and the constant hounding of the paps, is truly an awesome accomplishment. keep being presh, matilda! and ok i gotta give the runner up to violet, esp. cos she’s a big sister now and it’s tough to stay cute when there’s a baby around.

and that brings us to the conclusion of the 2009 POSHIES!!! YAY MORE CONFETTI PLEASE!

let’s head to the swanky afterparty and toast some champers to the awesomeness of 2009 and, even better, the poshie potential of 2010. it’s gonna be a pants of a year, you guys. i can feel it! now LET’S DANCE!

LINKS

meredith put together an incredible list of the top 50 horror movies of the DECADE!!! even if you’re a big weenie like me, you’ve GOT to check it out, cos guess what? i’ve actually seen some of the movies on the list! crazy, i know.

check out this pretty awesome montage of every movie from 2009! dang.

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