extravaganza
the celtic festival: so much fun, it might actually kilt you
y’all know how much i love festivals. the music! the beer! the tiny pantsers! the endless assortment of fried tasty business!
well, this weekend i took my mom and dad to the austin celtic festival, which i never knew existed until, like, a week ago. turns out it’s super cute! sure, there’s a renfest quality to it, but the chain mail and ill-fitting-corset levels are, you will be relieved to know, pretty low. plus, i discovered that the celtic festival definitely has a few tricks up its emerald sleeve, which i shall now detail for you!
first of all, it was a gorgeous day! and i was with the two people who actually taught me *how* to enjoy festivals, the original masters, dad and mom:
why yes that IS a plate of butterfly potatoes. like i said, mom and dad are dr. professionals.
i also have to give major pants to MSWR, who told me about the festival in the first place AND gave me free tix! girlfriend’s got the hook-up!!!
ok, so when you first walk into the festival, it feels pretty run-of-the-mill. you’ve got yr strange performance art people, although i will take this tree over a Black Fairy or Elf Queen any day:
(that guy was pretty cool, actually. although i couldn’t tell if the kids were excited or terrified to see a walking, talking tree. i mean, if they’ve read “the giving tree,” they should be running away as quickly as possible cos EEEEEE).
also, like any other festival, there are tons of booths with crazytown merch specifically targeted towards the celtic festival demographic (i’m not sure what that is, btw, but based on the products, it definitely includes anyone into LOTR, new age-ism, silver jewelry, plaid and things with Celtic typeface words written on them).
OH celtic humor, you make me cringe every time.
speaking of cringe, YEEEAAAAIIEEEEEUUGHHH:
that doll’s contorted face haunts my dreams. like, what kind of grandmother would hate their grandchild enough to buy them this doll?!
this item was my fave:
ok, but seriously? this isn’t exactly an impulse buy… is it? who would buy that? and when can i come over to their house to see the other crazy shizz in their collection? and then can we invite over edward cullen? awesome.
sure, the merch was a little eccentric, but when it came to food, this festival was like any other, and i mean that in a good way cos FUNNEL CAKE!!!!!!
it’s a good thing that people in ancient celtic times ate funnel cake, otherwise everyone at the festival would’ve been pissed when faced with haggis and dry soda bread.
speaking of soda bread, my dad bought some! so of course i had to take a picture. and the best part is that i didn’t even ask him to pose this way. HE DID IT ON HIS OWN.
papa posh i have trained you well.
the celtic festival also earned high marks in the doggies category:
I LOVE DOGS IN COSTUME!!! of course i do!!! my favorite was this guy, with his jaunty little hat!
if only you could train dogs to speak with an accent. sigh.
like its brethren, the celtic festival offered many opportunities for people to engage in really dorky activities together. lest you think i’m mocking with my monkey pants, rest assured that i HEART dorky group activities. like, look at these people learning a celtic dance! they look really awkward, but they don’t care!! plus it’s ok to dance like a super white person cos it’s the CELTIC festival!!!
speaking of activities, forget about throwing rings around bottles or bean bags into a big clown mouth (aiieee), the celtic festival does NOT mess around when it comes to games. these guys mean Serious Business. check out this sport, known as the caber toss:
yeah, that’s right. these guys are trying to throw a freaking telephone pole and flip it IN THE AIR. WHAT!!!!!! that is RIDICULOUS!!! i love how it’s referred to as a “toss,” like, “oh hey guys, yeah, lemme just toss this massive wooden pole over here and then i’ll meet you at the pub for some guinness.”
all of these dudes were incredibly buff, like almost comically so (“hey, do you know where the weight room is?”), but only a few of them managed to flip the pole over:
y’all my arms hurt just from *watching* that video. and what about the splinters?!!!!
another crowd pleaser was SHEEP HERDING!! no seriously. there was sheep herding. and yes, seriously, it drew a crowd.
i’ll admit, that dog is a total genius pants. although if he was REALLY smart, he’d figure out how to talk in an irish accent. i’m just saying.
in addition to these unique attractions, the celtic festival had some other mega bonus factors. such as…
MINI PONIES!!!!!!!!
OMG MINI PONIES!!!!!!!! people were just walking them around like dogs! like, oh yeah, here’s my pony that’s totally tiny and adorable and like, A REAL MY LITTLE PONY, but it’s no big deal.
what’s awesome is that me and this 7-year-old girl next to me both asked our parents for a mini pony at the same time. kindred spirits!!
another bonus* (*bonus in a kind of awesome, kind of ironic sense) factor? KILTS!!! SO MANY KILTS!! KILT-EXTRAVAGANZA!!!!!!
y’all i had no IDEA that so many people in austin own kilts. it’s kind of like finding out that soylent green is made of people only a little less creepy.
this guy was totally my fave. i call him Santa Kilt!
apparently, kilts are pretty booming business, and they come in different styles! and i don’t mean colors of plaid. i mean… have you heard of the UTILIKILT?
for the practical, outdoorsy kiltwearer, who needs that fresh air down there but also pockets for holding things! cos these dudes ain’t carryin’ no manpurse!
there’s also “his & hers” kilt outfits, which made me squee every time.
it’s weird how i can abhor the utilikit but spazz out about couples wearing matching plaid. but i mean LOOK HOW CUTE THEY ARE:
wait, sir, you’ve got a sign on yr back… wait… um, what’s that say?
um. wow. so, you know how i said you were cute before? I WAS WRONG. cuteness REMOVED.
that’s ok, though, cos there was more than enough cuteness to go around at the celtic festival, thanks to bonus factor #3, LITTLE PANTSERS!!!
esp. little pantsers that are DRESSED UP!!! and pretending to fight in an epic celtic battle! check out my favorite little soldier, thor (ok, NOT THOR) who appears at the 33 second mark:
ok, i know i’ve already said that, like, ten different things were my favorite parts of the festival, but guys this time i really mean it when i say that my ABSOLUTE FAVORITE thing about the celtic festival was: kids… dancing like crazypants.
there were lots of celtic bands, obvs, and while i actually did enjoy much of the music, there is no WAY i enjoyed it as much as these little ladies:
I KNOW, RIGHT?! all you need is a few more toddlers to make it a full-on kiddie mosh pit. and that girl in the plaid skirt (kilt)?! WOW. little miss jig is a non-stop celtic party machine!!!! i’d love to see her bust a move at an alamo sing-along.
i gotta give plaid skirt girl mad pants for energy, but the dancer who really took the cake at the celtic festival was a boy i like to call napoleon elliot (get it? no? ok). check out this kid’s sweet moves:
the fact that he got on top of a speaker, by himself, to broadcast his moves to a larger audience is just… so awesome.
i know you want more of his celtic grooves so WISH GRANTED:
napoleon elliot KEEP ON BEIN’ YOU! i hope you go to the fame school and then get cast in step up 4and ACHIEVE YR DANCING DREAMS!
so yeah, the celtic festival? pretty awesome. even though i didn’t get to take home a mini pony or a dog dressed in plaid, i did come away with memories to last me for quite a while, not to mention SWEET NEW DANCE MOVES that you will be seeing at a dance party near you v. v. soon. y’all get ready to JIG!
LINKS
rachel mcadams? in the next spider-man movie? as a villain? I VOTE YES.
are you a bella swan (yikes) or a katniss (HOLLA!)? take the FYA quiz and find out!
i know i’ve posted this site before, but y’all have GOT to add people of wal-mart to yr google reader. so painful and yet… so awesome.
Tags: celtic festival Discussion
17 comments for “the celtic festival: so much fun, it might actually kilt you”
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I’ve gone to more Celtic and Irish festivals than I can remember at this point, but it’s fun to read about it from your newbie perspective! The tree man was new this year, but the couples in matching plaid were not. Though I don’t think I’ve ever seen that little sign before. Nor have I seen the vampyre slaying kit. I do remember one year at the sword tent where the vendor was telling someone (without a hint of irony or sarcasm), “That’s the sword carried by [insert LOTR character name] in [insert battle scene].”
I have to say that my favorite part of that day was finding out we’re long lost cousins! Clan Gunn, holla! I’ll have to show you our clan tartan (which I have in beer cozy form, natch). And also, just so you know, our clan motto is “Either peace or war!” (http://www.clangunn.us/main.htm)
And also, in honor of both your intrepid Celtic festival reporting and the 40th anniversary of Sesame Street, here’s the clip from when Murray and his little lamb visited an Irish dancing school in New York: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NZJysvk-Jjc
CLAN GUNN REPRESENT!!! although i think it’s time to update our motto to: “either tasty business or war!”
and yay for sesame street except… who is murray?!!! le sigh. i’m old.
Right now, in most bars in Austin, there is one dude in a kilt. Nobody likes this person.
napoleon elliot just made my day.
Correction, Josh – most PUBS in Austin have that dude. The bars still have the usual douchebags.
But you’re right, nobody likes that pub guy. And that pub guy never properly cleans the bench after straddling it to drink his beer.
Sarah, I can’t believe this entire post does not mention the greatest of all celtic traditions – the ginger-bearded lumberjack.
I will never get the combined image of Pub Kilt guy straddling the bench and that lipstick stains sign on The Randy Grandpa out of my brain. Not ever.
Mmm, butterfly potatoes! Or as I call them: big plate of twisty chipfries! I love these so much that when we were at International Festival last year, I had just left to buy my chipfries, and someone read on their phone that Bea Arthur died. And Matt told everyone, “Wait until Meredith has finished her chipfries before you tell her, so we won’t ruin her favorite snack.” And I got back and was all nomnomNOM, and then, like, “Why is everyone staring sadly at me? Guys?” and then once I’d polished them off, they told me about Bea, and I burst into tears.
Cool story, Mere!
Also, I don’t understand, are you saying The Giving Tree is creepy? Because that is the sweetest, saddest and most beautiful book ever.
that IS a good story, meredith.
and obvs i LOVE the giving tree, but hello, that dude totally killed that tree (i mean, the tree let him, but still) so i always wondered if the other trees got really pissed off and sought revenge. THAT’s why it would be creepy if trees could talk and walk. at least, in my mind.
oh dude, I never even thought about that. Vengeful walking trees = WIGGINS.
We should all be ruled by that wee dancing king.
Either peace or war is the greatest motto ever because a) it isn’t half assed about it and b) inspired me to make my motto “Either asleep or awake.”
Meredith, that’s amazing. I wish people would have known that I was looking at pretty impressionist paintings with Paul Newman died. Three calls in the museum! Gauguin will forever be paired with sadness.
That vampire slaying kit may not be an impulse buy, but it sure is an investment!!!
Finally (I promise I’ll stop), the sword was most likely King Éomer’s from the Battle for Helms Deep, otherwise he would have named the sword as being Narsil. On a related note, it is really interesting to look at LOTR wikipedia pages because I swear that anyone who adds to those has to have read the Simurillion at least more than twice.
sally, double true on the LOTR wiki. i actually snort laughed when i read that part of yr comment, and i *never* snort laugh unless something is undeniably (and hilariously) double true.
Omg MSWR! That clip of Murray and the lamb was awesome
. Don’t worry, I don’t know him either. He was after our time. Can you explain why they wear curly wigs? I am so googling that!
Sally, I LOVE your personal motto. It is by far the best personal motto I’ve ever read.
Selina, I have no idea why they wear those wigs, but maybe it’s because they emphasize the bounce in the dancing?
Love the post! Sent it out to my staff and other volunteers. Made my day! – Donnelle (The Austin Celtic Festival Director). And yea, Merri Su rules!
hi donnelle! i’m glad you enjoyed it!! and thanks for putting together such a charming festival!