extravaganza

matt and meredith: just married pants!!!

this weekend, two of my most v. favorite people in the entire history of the universe and time itself GOT HITCHED!!!!!!

AND IT WAS AWESOME!! OBVS!!!!

honestly, i would’ve been happy to watch matt and meredith get married at, like, a gas station or on a big fugly rock in the middle of nowhere (and that’s saying a lot cos y’all know how much i need indoor plumbing) because I LOVE THEM SO MUCH. however, since we share the same values of tasty business and dance parties, they managed to make their wedding even MORE wonderful than i even thought possible (like, kids, don’t try this at home… without inviting me over).

friday night, they held their rehearsal dinner at ONE OF MY FAVORITE RESTAURANTS IN TEXAS, the grist mill!!!!!

basically, this means that in order to practice for the wedding, i was forced to eat my favorite round-cut fries…

AND enjoy my favorite dessert, jack daniels pie!!!!!! all in the name of holy matrimony!!!

also, meredith and matt got all members of the wedding party personalized gifts!!!! look how happy we are with our prezzies!!!

(it’s hard to see, but meredith gave me a fabulous vintage bracelet featuring a darling owl charm!)

at this point, i was starting to wonder if *i* was the one getting married, since all i had to do to “help out” was show up and receive a gift and eat tasty business! on the other hand, this was my fourth time to be a bridesmaid (holla!), so maybe i just make it LOOK easy due to my mad wedding skills. umm… sure?

speaking of skills, erin’s daughter m’elle just got back from cheerleading camp, so during dinner, erin taught me the Official Cheerleader Pledge! YES! i am now THIS CLOSE to living my “bring it on” dream and being a total cheertator. check it out:

props to bill for the interpretative cheereography.

the next day was THE BIG DAY! like, angels trumpeting, cartoon birds singing, glitter falling, stars twinkling, destiny dancing, cupcakes giggling, MEANT TO BE type of BIG DAY.

except ummm i think someone forgot to inform THE WEATHER cos it was pouring rain. GAH! hello? so RUDE. thankfully, meredith and matt are master planner pants, and they had a plan B for the ceremony (move it into the reception hall) so not even the real rain could rain on their parade. that is the power of love, y’all.

look how cozy and enchanting the reception hall looked!

all of the bridesmaids piled into the dressing room to help meredith get ready*. *translation: meredith sat around in a hoodie and jeans, drinking tea and chillaxing, while the rest of us fretted over our hair/make-up/nails. then, about 20 minutes before the ceremony, she slipped on her gorgeously elegant dress and sparkly sandals and was ready to go! but we insisted on fussing over her anyway, cos that’s what bridesmaids do.

when she was at the salon earlier in the day, meredith told the stylist: “i don’t want a wedding hairdo. i want to look like i just woke up in a meadow!” or, as john (mere’s bff and the officiant) put it: “it’s like the birds did yr hair, a la snow white.” double true, john!

lucky for all of us gals, meredith picked a vivid green color that made all of us look radiant! or, as i posited earlier, maybe meredith chose seasoned bridesmaids that are just really really good at looking fabulous at the altar. for example: doesn’t erin look like a breath of fresh and foxy air? and doesn’t she make it look EASY?

and even though i was recovering from a nasty disgusting cold, my excitement for the nuptials overcame my lame-o immune system and left me looking, well, not too shabby! you can’t even tell there’s snot in my nose! hooray!

and here’s the rest of the lovely bridesmaids, looking gorgeous like it’s a piece of cake. can you tell by those faces that meredith is v. v. dearly loved?

and, lest you think that matt is not equally loved, check out the happiness beaming from his groomspeople!

the ceremony was sweet, heartfelt and brief– just how i like it! as matt and meredith kissed, the audience erupted into applause, and if i hadn’t been holding on to my bouquet, i SO would’ve fist pumped multiple times. seriously, i would NOT have been surprised if the heavens had opened up inside the banquet hall and baked goods and french fries started raining down and a rainbow arched overhead and cute toddlers and puppies came out of nowhere to dance around the couple and BEST YOUTUBE VIDEO EVER.

THAT’s how much of an amen moment it was.

as we waited around for pictures, i gave meredith a huge hug and didn’t really want to let go except that she had, like, a honeymoon to go to later. you know those times when you feel like yr heart might explode, but not in a gross CSI way? yeah, that’s how full of love and wonderfulness my pants were. THEY WERE ABOUT TO BURST WITH JOY! BUTTONS POPPIN’!!!

after matt and meredith were officially hitched, it was time to celebrate! and because they are v. v. smart, matt & meredith had invited just the right folks to help her do it, like josh and erica:

lovely houston ladies: alex, jill (who now lives in SC! miss you jill!) and juliet!

jen and john!

and many more pantsers that you will see in the bajillion photographs i’m about to show you.

obvs i was most excited about matt and meredith and their glorious union, but AFTER THAT, there were two things that tied for second.

first, THERE WERE CUPCAKES! FROM SUGAR MAMAS!!!

seriously, i *swear* i was not the one getting married. really guys. ok, just to confirm, check out the adorable toppers that meredith ordered from etsy:

EEEE!! i know, right?!!! they were painted to match matt and meredith’s ensembles. here’s a picture of the v. handsome mr. schlabach so you can compare the topper with the real thing:

matt and meredith chose the black and tan, the strawberry love and the odd couple as their flavors, and i can personally attest to the deliciousness of all of them. and, if you need a second opinion (as if!), just ask james and caitlin:

one of my bridesmaid duties was to collect the cake toppers, and since i take my responsibilities V. SERIOUSLY, i made them kiss like in real life! just married YAY!!! they love each other!!!

of course, it wouldn’t be a pants world wedding without… APPLE ROULETTE!!!!

you may recall that our last rousing game occurred during josh and erica’s wedding, so it was only appropriate that josh launch the opening shot:

john made a classic rookie mistake: he missed his forehead and smashed the apple INTO HIS EYE. not good, y’all. not good.*

*ok he actually didn’t poke his eye, but the picture makes it look like that and i thought it was funny.

henri, in typical hardcore fashion, took no prisoners and slammed the apple into his head EXTREME!

however, it was ray, skilled veteran and all around crazypants, who won (read: lost) the game with his intense and highly focused wind-up and brutal straight-to-forehead follow-through.

as if she further needed to prove her awesomeness (she didn’t), even THE BRIDE PLAYED A ROUND! HOLLA!!!

ok, so i love me some apple roulette, but that actually wasn’t my second thing (tied with cupcakes). ok LIKE YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT I’M ABOUT TO SAY?

DANCE PARTY FOOLS!!!!

and what better way to begin a dance party than with two adorable little girls, jumping up and down a lot?

the playlist was packed with goodness, and pants world immediately took advantage of the open floor and even more open bar:

ray and erica show ‘em how it’s done!

in addition to hot moves, there was a whole lotta love on the dance floor that night…

particularly emitting from ray…

you know how some brides get bogged down with small details like “talking to family” and “being a gracious hostess” and “making sure everyone gets a piece of cake”? well, meredith took care of all that stuff, but she also made time to care of business ON THE DANCE FLOOR!

not to get all deep on you guys, but humans have been celebrating things with dance since like the dawn of time. it’s primal and it’s physical and it’s instinctual. what i’m trying to say is, the deepest and most human way to say “THIS MAKES ME HAPPY” is to grab a dude’s tie and spin around. that’s an anthropological FACT.

i know i’m repeating myself here, but it was seriously one of the best nights EVER. celebrating the love of two people i adore, surrounded by other people i adore, all of us united by pure and unadulterated pantsiness.

like, even now, when the sniffles have returned and my head feels like a cotton ball (i get no respect from my immune system), i just look at this picture and smile like a big ole crazycakes:

when it was finally time for matt and meredith to depart, we honored the age-old tradition of throwing things at them. yay!!

it’s good to know that the wedding fan came in handy, matt.

and then matt and meredith got in the back of a convertible and waved and i blew them kisses and we all cheered and they drove away and IT WAS JUST LIKE THE END OF GREASE!!!! OMGGG!! except that the car didn’t fly. and also meredith didn’t have to change into a skank in hot pants for matt to love her.

and that, my friends, is How You Do It. and i’m not just talking about weddings or dance parties or cupcakes or apple roulette… i’m talking about the whole shebang, life itself.

so congratulations to matt and meredith, two people who have figured out how to LIVE, and how to love. i am so grateful to share in even a small portion of yr dance parties, yr cupcakes, yr happiness… yr pants.

AMEN!

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