extravaganza

a professional lady of leisure’s guide to the perfect bachelorette party

on saturday, i got to do one of my v. favorite things to celebrate one of my v. favorite people:

i went on a winery tour for meredith’s bachelorette party!!!!

to any bride-to-be seriously considering a crazypants night out on sixth street, filled with penis toys, condom-stapled bridal veils and drunk guys offering to be yr “last chance” (gross!), i beg you to consider this FAR SUPERIOR (and need i say classier) option.

allow me to illustrate the virtues of a winery tour bachelorette party.

virtue #1: you get to ride around in a shuttle full of awesome women!

any professional lady of leisure will tell you that travel by chauffeur is the ONLY way to go. plus, a shuttle allows for optimal mingling, which means i was able to indulge in delightful conversation with old friends as well as new!

virtue #2: it’s a great excuse to LOOK FABULOUS.

i mean, just LOOK at that gaggle of beautiful girls. an added benefit: people at wineries do not heckle you for looking good.

virtue #3: you get to drink wine! ALL DAY! and eat snacks!!!!

y’all, this is my kind of tea party. wine? check. tasty business? check. charmingly giggley conversation? check. seriously, the only thing missing from this girlie (yet refined!) slice of heaven was a visit from mr. darcy.

virtue #4: by the end of the day, you’re pretty much a wine connoisseur thanks to the knowledgeable winery staff.

the lucky man between kasey and meredith is george, who poured our wine tasting at torre de pietra. let’s just say the man knows how to sell wine. a few choice examples:

on their sparkling white, ingeniously named “dirty girl”: “now, when i say she’s a dirty girl, i don’t mean she’s going topless and dancing on a pole! no siree! she just needs a bath!”

on their port: “now, if you just put one drop of this in yr mouth, i swear yr tongue will just up and slap out yr brain!”

see, this is the kind of wine education that will last you a lifetime.

virtue #5: SOMETIMES THERE ARE CUTE LITTLE DOGGIES!!!!

LOOK AT THAT LITTLE GUY!!!!! LOOK AT HIM!!!

the minute we spotted him, all of us girls squealed and moved quickly forward in unison with our arms outstretched. it was just like the borg, if they dressed up and showed emotion.

puppy kisses for the bachelorette!!! i’ll take that over a free “blow job” shot at friends bar any day!

virtue #6: you can stomp grapes!!!! and then take home a souvenir t-shirt with yr foot prints on it!!!!

ok, so, we didn’t actually do that. esp. cos none of us wanted to endanger our posh ensembles. but… we could have!

virtue #7: you can listen to live bands of cute old men!

y’all i am totally in love with the raggedy cats. i mean, just watch this video:

would you rather watch these fabulous gentlemen or a crappy cover band playing “santeria” amidst the skeeviness of the dizzy rooster? the answer is OBVIOUS.

i could go on, but i think i’ve made my point. so i’ll just offer this picture as my final statement:

beautiful ladies! drinking wine and being friends!

of course, the party didn’t stop with the winery tour (what do you take us for, amateurs?!). there was still frilly, lacy lingerie to be bestowed upon the bride-to-be! oh yeah, and vintage annie lennox posters, cos meredith’s friends are awesome.

even though i enjoyed meeting all of meredith’s pals, it was obvious that everyone had a favorite:

it’s zelda, the most adorable dog in the world!! and she was even dressed up for the occasion! punk rock preciousness!

in fact, i think zelda may have gotten even more attention than meredith.

exhibit a:

exhibit b:

all in all, a woman of fine breeding such as myself couldn’t have asked for a more enchanting day. it seems impossible, but i’m even *more* excited about the wedding now that i know it will also be a Class of 2009 Ladies of Leisure Reunion!

many thanks to kasey, meredith’s lovely sister, who planned the whole soiree! and of course, cheers to meredith for being positively, absolutely, 100% wonderful.

LINKS

squee of the day: BABY PANDA!!!!!

emma watson! playing college orientation games! celebrities– they’re just like us!

© 2009 Poshdeluxe.