dear diary
dear diary pants: my KR obsession takes the crazycake
today’s dear diary entry is quite possibly the most embarrassing one yet.
I KNOW, i know, there’s been some doozies in the past but OH MAN. you guys. the beginning of this next one? BEYOND CRINGEWORTHY. in fact, my sophomore self is actually kind of scaring me, esp. cos she seems to have jumped out of the pages of my diary and INTO MY CURRENT LIFE WTF.
let me explain.
a few days ago, i got this email from my v. v. sweet dad:
Sarah,
I see in this morning’s paper that today is Keanu Reeves’ brithday. He is 44!
Love Dad
of course, i thought this was super cute, so i decided to tweet about dad’s email. and THAT, readers, is when sophomore pants sarah rose from the grave to haunt me into an early death due to Extreme Mortification.
an example of the 18 comments that ensued:
- hell i remember when you went to the dogstar concert in 10th grade!
- Yeah. Even I remember your Dogstar fandom. Wow. 44. There is no spoon.
- I remember your cut-out from the movie theater!
- Didn’t Maurice sport a Dogstar sticker? Your dad is pretty awesome.
- yeah the day after the dogstar show I think you showed up to hooligans corner with your new dogstar shirt and beanie proudly wearing them like merit badges and that’s why i remember…
AUUGHHH!!!!!!!! MASSIVE TRAUMA TO THE BRAIN!!! FACIAL APPEARANCE IN PUBLIC IS TERMINATED!
i mean, i know people remember me as a nerd, but THIS?!!!!
GAH.
now that any and all chances that i may have been considered cool in high school have been BUTCHERED BEYOND RECOGNITION, i decided to whip out my diary entries from labor day weekend, fifteen years ago. i mean, i might as well *own* the crazy, right?
plus, i’m hoping that this post, as a sacrifice of my last shred of pride, will trigger some kind of exorcism so that sophomore sarah will quit her vicious attacks on my 30-year-old dignity and return to her resting place in my diary, where she belongs!
uh yeah… we’ll see if that works out.
9/2/94
Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday, dear Keanu, happy birthday to you! And many more… Happy 30th, Keanu!!
I just held my own private ceremony! I sang and played my birthday present music box, then I lit my never-before-lit Summer Holiday candle (my favorite), sang again (in a whisper) in front of all of his pictures, asked him to make a wish, then blew it out.
Last night I didn’t write because we went to the football game and I was late getting to bed. Talena was on the news! Right after we went through the metal detectors, this reporter guy asked her all these questions, and later we found out that it was Ron Stone Jr. So we left the game early to see if she made it, and sure enough, she was on television! She only got to say a sentence, but still! And they showed a picture of the line, and Mom and Dad were in it (and Talena)! We won by the way.
I got a 100 on my lab report! WOW! We have a Math test on Tuesday. Yuck.
It’s LABOR DAY WEEKEND!! YESSSS!! We’re going to “Wear It Again Sam” on Monday!
Jeff M. was visiting at our school today– he stopped by our table at lunch. I feel bad because I invited him to Talena’s party cuz I didn’t think she would mind, but she had taken him off the guest list. Whoops. She wasn’t mad though.
And I feel awful (again) because Liz V. has been kind of kissing up to Mrs. Williams and I said something about there being something brown on her nose and I think she heard me.
Babysat for the Mayers– I’m going to help at Sarah’s slumber party this Friday! Wow, I feel old. Going to Nana & Pawpaw’s tomorrow so I have to go to bed.
9/5/94
What a glorious Labor Day!!! Mom, Rachel, Keriann, Talena and Talena’s mom went shopping! Our first stop was “Wear It Again Sam” and we spent about 1 1/2 hours there. I got a three piece grey pinstripe suit (polyester-yuck) for $16!!!! [ed note: i still own this suit] And I got a homecoming dress!! Wooo!!! It was only $28, and Mom got it for me. See? [arrow to my drawing of the dress] It’s so elegant and refined! I *knew* I’d find something there.
Then, our group ventured into the Hobbit Hole Cafe [ed. note: it's actually just the hobbit cafe] I’ve always wanted to go there (I loved “The Hobbit”) and I’m glad we did! The food was good. I had an Aruba with cheese and bacon; Rachel had a Gandalf (cool, huh?). Then we went to Timeless Taffeta, and Rachel got a Black Crowes poster and almost got this rockin’ but expensive tie-dye dress. Keriann got a Phantom mask.
Then we went– just guess– to the Discovery Zone to play Laser Tag!! Fun fun fun!!
And AUUUGHHH “Pointbreak” is going to be on tomorrow!!!!!!!! I’m going to tape it upstairs and tape the good KR parts downstairs on my KR video. I am soooo hyped!!!
P.S. I don’t want to go to school!
LINKS
squee of the day: you’ve probably seen pictures of animals with casts before, but have you seen THIS BLOG ENTIRELY DEVOTED TO THAT PURPOSE?!!! (thanks sally for the link!)
“hands on a hard body,” one of my fave documentaries of all time, is gonna be… a musical? really? ok?
Discussion
8 comments for “dear diary pants: my KR obsession takes the crazycake”
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Epic post. PS I am a big Keanu Fan too but at least I don’t make kissy faces to his pictures. Chain Reaction is awesome.
I’d completely forgotten about the interview from the game! My ten seconds of fame. I think I set the beeper off because of my belt or something.
I’m trying to think what party I had that I didn’t want to invite Jeff to… the only party I remember from that year is the Halloween party (hello couch full of people!!). I hope you have an awesome dear diary from that.
I remember your obsession with KR, but I think I’d forgotten (read: blocked out) how intense it was. As stated above… epic.
Wow. Just wow. I don’t even want to imagine what is on your special downstairs KR video. Also, you had a shrine?! This is very, very scary. It is very brave of you to face your 15 y.o. self. I am still too afraid.
Super, super, super awesome. Best dear diary pants yet. POINT BREAK OMG YESSSSSS.
hands on a hard body as a musical – i cannot imagine that making sense in any way. mind boggling.
i guess none of your revelations are all that surprising, when i remember my teenage self, and what i saw of my sister’s teenage self… but it is still surprising to be reminded of these things. and as parents… you just let these things go? keanu obsession = not dangerous, so let it be?
i also like it that you reported your lab grade in your journal.
I was smiling at memories of how obsessed you were with Keanu, but then I got to the part in your diary about me buying a black crowes poster.
And then I remembered that I had SEVEN black crowes posters in my room. And many many t-shirts. OK, so I was totally obsessed with Chris Robinson in high school. I guess that’s just what teenage girls do
rachel, let’s not forget about yr NIN obsession either. i think you had a different NIN t-shirt for every day we were at duke camp.
i love the fact that i’m still friends with the people i mention in my diary. maybe it should embarrass me, but instead it just makes me really grateful that there are people out there who know where i’ve come from and how i’ve grown (and who actually liked me in HS, even with my freaky KR obsession!).
[...] how crazycakes i was over mr. reeves, and *apparently* alexandra was JUST as bad (although did she sing to a picture of him on his birthday while holding a candle? i doubt it). once this INCREDIBLE connection was discovered, we pretty much managed to drive [...]