alamoing

quentin tarantino vs. julia child

you guys know i hang out at the alamo a lot, and sometimes people ask me if i ever get tired of going to henri’s shows or sitting in a dark movie theater. this is basically like asking me if i ever get bored of eating cupcakes or playing with puppies. um N to the OOOOOO!!!

of course, some alamo events are more spectacular than others, and today i’d like to highlight two recent happenings that really pantsed the pants out of me.

first of all, CINEMAPOCALPYSE!!! (btw that word takes me forever to type. i have to sound it out like the painter dude on sesame street). this was basically an all night movie extravaganza, featuring a premiere of “inglorious basterds” with quentin tarantino and eli roth in attendance. as with previous alamo all night events, i didn’t make it to the end. in fact, i only lasted for two movies, which pretty much ruins any film geek cred i might have had. ha ha JUST KIDDING! like i ever HAD any film geek cred. i mean, have you SEEN the movies in my dvd player?

thankfully, quentin was not aware of this fact, so they still let me in the theater. i totally felt like an imposter, but, thanks to the themes in the film, in a totally cool way, like a superspy sent by the rom com industry to sabotage the premiere so “time traveler’s wife” could make more money or something. anyway!

quentin and eli introduced the movie, which, to be honest, i was excited about but also kind of skeptical. and then i saw eli’s guns and instantly knew: I WILL LOVE THIS MOVIE.

ahem. seriously, though, why has no one told me how hot eli roth is?!!!

then the movie began, and i was whisked away to nazi-occupied france. y’all, all kidding about eli’s arms aside (well, not really, but for purposes of credibility, i’ll pretend that wasn’t a factor), “inglorious basterds” is pretty freaking awesome. without going all spoiler pants on you, this movie really surprised me. like, i thought it was gonna feature lots of bloody nazi killing and scalping and then more killing with some extra beatings and facial disfigurement thrown in. and while there was some gory stuff, the majority of the movie had… heart! for reals! “inglorious basterds” isn’t really about a bunch of american jews kicking the shizz out of nazis (although that part is super duper fun). it’s actually a v. human story about people rising up and fighting and hoping and doing everything they can to defeat what was obviously an evil, terrible regime. most of that human angle focuses on shosanna, played beautifully by melanie laurent:

LOVE HER. seriously. first of all, she’s SO PRETTY. second of all, she’s french and therefore totally fabulous. third, she’s a really great actress, and i hope she starts popping up in american films cos PRETTY!!!

balancing out shosanna’s lightness is christoph waltz, playing hans landa, hands down my favorite villain in the QT collection. this guy was AWESOME. instead of being all over-the-top evil, waltz creates a creepy sleuthy mastermind through the smallest of gestures and his piercing, soul-stealing gaze. seriously, if this guy ever tries to shake yr hand, DON’T DO IT.

and, of course, there was brad pitt, chewing the SHIZZ out of the sumptuous scenery while playing aldo raine.

the aldo scenes are definitely the comic highlights of the movie, and it’s obvious that brad and the basterds crew had a BLAST playing a bunch of bloodthirsty, uber patriotic good ole boys. in fact, during the Q&A, roth talked about how they stayed in character between takes just so they could get away with really immature and ridiculous behavior. nice!

the movie isn’t flawless, of course, and i wish tarantino had taken the time to flesh out the stories of each individual basterd (wordpress really hates that spelling, btw). in fact, in the Q&A he mentioned that originally, IB was going to be a mini-series, and then he had lunch with luc besson who told him to stick with a film version. i love you, luc, but i REALLY wish you had skipped out on lunch that day. it’s quite apparent that tarantino has sprawling stories sketched out for pretty much every character in the film, and i wish we had been given more than a quick glimpse at these seemingly fascinating histories.

with that said, i had a grand old time watching this movie. i only had to close my eyes like, 7 times (that’s pretty good for me, seriously) and there was LOTS of fist pumping, esp. at the end.

oh yeah, and there was one other bit of alamo magic thrown in: during a scene where the nazis attend a film premiere in paris, banners rolled down the walls and transformed our theater into the one on the screen! whoah! thankfully, no one in our audience then morphed into an evil aryan soldier, so that was relief.

the next film on the cinemapocalypse line-up was a tarantino pick, “the losers” from 1968. basically it’s a movie about a motorcycle gang sent to vietnam to rescue a POW, and if you think that plot doesn’t make any sense, you would be CORRECT. oh yeah and it’s really, really terrible. but also? pretty entertaining! there’s tons of horrible cliches (mostly concerning vietnamese women, of course) and completely nonsensical plot points (like, the hero of the movie might also be a rapist? and you never really get who the POW guy is and why he’s so important. not to mention the fact that… a motorcycle gang? in vietnam? right).

so yeah, after surviving some motorcycle madness, i decided to go home. and it was about 3:30 AM, so that’s not bad, right?

now, if cinemapocalypse had been, say, a nora ephron film festival, you better believe i would’ve rocked it til the break of DAWN. cos HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN “JULIE AND JULIA”?!!!!!

BEST TASTY BUSINESS MOVIE EVERRRRRR.

i was lucky duck enough to enjoy it with a matching feast at the alamo last week, leading my pants to ALMOST EXPLODE (literally) WITH AWESOMENESS. OMG YOU GUYS. CHECK OUT WHAT WE ATE:

Amuse Bouche
Oyster on the half shell with aged sherry vinegar mignonette, thinly sliced rye, butter

II
Sole “meuniere”
Seared sole on boggy creek farms arugula with lemon and brown butter vinaigrette, seared heirloom tomato

III
“Hot as a stiff…”
Manicotti stuffed with a spicy lobster “thermidor” filling, petite braised cucumber soup

IV
“Piece de’ la résistance”
Boneless duck breast, stuffed with pate en croute, potatoes lyonnaisse, endive grilled drizzled with black truffle oil

V
“Raspberry Bavarian cream”
Crepe filled with chevre raspberry cream, fresh raspberries, shaved dark chocolate

I KNOW, RIGHT?!!!! i am the luckiest pants that has ever lived. p.s. the manicotti was my #1 fave.

i’m sure the exquisite food had something to do with my high opinion of the film, but um, even i’d just had a glass of water and, like, a stale saltine, i’m 100% positive that i still would have adored this shizz out of this movie. cos MERYL!!!!! i mean, i thought she was having a blast in “mama mia” but this movie? she looked in every scene like she’d died and gone to heaven! some people might call this “acting” but i know that in reality, it was just meryl streep realizing that she was getting to eat tasty business and hang out with stanley tucci in paris and wear fabulous heels and GET PAID FOR IT.

i seriously had a huge grin on my face for the ENTIRE movie (ok except when amy adams dropped the stuffed chicken on the floor, and oh when julia found out her sister was preggers, i totally teared up), and given the influence of nora ephron, there were lots of fantastic dialogue and happy squee moments that reminded me a lot of “you’ve got mail” (and that’s a high standard to hit, obvs).

after we got out of the movie, i looked at henri and shrieked, “I AM TOTALLY BUYING THIS MOVIE!!! AND WATCHING IT A BILLION TIMES!! AND KEEPING IT IN MY DVD PLAYER!” which is pretty much the highest compliment i can pay a film, ever.

of course, i couldn’t help but compare myself as a blogger to julie powell. on one hand, i’m really really glad that i’ve never had to throw live lobsters in a pot or de-bone a duck (GROSS). on the other hand, where are all my food packages from fans, yo?!! well, i guess it is kind of tough to ship a cupcake in the mail.

anyway, i obvs had a blast at both events, but i have to say, in a face-off between quentin tarantino and julia child, julia totally kicks the pants off of quentin (but she would never, ever scalp him, cos she has manners. although she is quite adept at de-boning. hmm.). sorry tarantino, but even eli roth’s guns don’t stand a chance against the combo of nora, meryl and some french tasty business. c’est la vie!

LINKS

TRUE BLOOD PAPERDOLLS!!!! oh man i wanna dress up lafayette!!!! they should include paper make-up too.

um so i kind of stopped watching gossip girl but i might start up again cos LOOK AT THIS PICTURE OF CHUCK BASS. plus blair’s hat = divine!

my dad sent me a v. v. useful tool for every day survival: the bad hair day forecast.

apparently there’s a NEW record for the world’s largest cupcake. it’s like people are obsessed with cupcakes or something. i totally don’t get it.

© 2009 Poshdeluxe.