pantstributor

Movies, boats, and a real live horror movie!

Hey pants world! It’s me, Sally, here to tell you about my recent trip to NYC for the premiere of my documentary at the NY International Latino Film Festival (NYLIFF)!  When I say my doc, I actually mean our doc.  I made this film collaboratively when I was still living in NYC with a bunch of my pals, otherwise known as media collaborative called Meerkat Media (I will have links to videos at the end, don’t worry!).

Anyway, I was pumped as a gal could be.  I had my dress (which is gorgeous and only $40…ever notice that girls are OBSESSED with telling you how much something was…we beam with thrifty pride), I had my tickets, and a series of couches to crash on.

The first was in Greenpoint Brooklyn, where hipster meets Pole, and only the G train unites them.  I got in super late, but not too late to sit on my friend Lex’s roof and drink some locally brewed stout from a ridiculous jug.  The kind they used in prohibition, I kid you not.  My great uncle Virgil once found a prohibition jug in the woods.  It’s in our attic.  During prohibition at night you would leave the jug and money in the woods, and the next morning your money would be gone, but your jug would be filled with sweet moonshine.  Like the greatest tooth fairy ever.  Or would that be money fairy?  Anyway, Virgil may have been lying.  My family has a history of that.  My family was so poor back in the day Virgil’s dad (a.k.a. my great-grandpops) once took a knife blade from its handle, burned it, left it to rust and banged it up so he could sell it to the local history museum as a Bowie knife and buy himself a handle of whiskey.  It is no longer on display in the Winnebago history museum, but it was still up about thirty years ago according to my mom.

Anyway, family stories are great, but so was the view from her roof!  All of Manhattan, some antennae’s and my friend Karl’s head.  WOW!

Next morning we had the best freaking brunch I’ve ever had at the River Barrel.  I had crab cake benedict with super spicy home fries.  I was so pumped I forgot to take a picture BEFORE I dove in.  Sorry if half eaten food grosses y’all out.  But, I think you will understand my lack of restraint.

This made up for the fact that I only ate out TWICE the whole time I was in NYC.  I know.  I apologize.  My friends are starving artists and good cooks, so what is a gal to do?

After brunch we walked off our incredibly full bellies on our way to the East River.  There we made an incredible discovery: a guitar hero controller. What ensued was a mad frenzy of photos for our upcoming album – Super Hero Magic Time.

Later we went to get ice cream at a place in the MIDDLE OF NOWHERE!  Seriously, nowhere.  This is how directions would sound:  “Now, go to the end of this street of warehouses, turn right and go past all the junk yards, then left down another row of warehouses, and there it is.  You can’t miss it.”

I maniacally loved my peaches and cream.  Or perhaps it wasn’t mania, but rather a dose of patriotism I was imbibing from the waffle cone wrapper.

To work off that ‘meal’ I went to my pal Dave’s house, who is an insane video game freak.  Seriously, he is a painter who paints in pixels, and has a somewhat religious, enormous triptych involving classic video game characters.   I apologize for not having taken a picture of that.  But I did get a picture of me playing his ridiculous Japanese arcade console that has every classic arcade game ever!  I don’t know what I was playing, but I do know I sucked at it.  You will also note that he has ANOTHER ONE right next to the one I’m playing.

The next day I came upon some wonderful things.  Like a bag full of VHS’s very meticulously labeled.  The most prominent being “The Stuff.”  Maybe that’s what our album should be called.  To the point and wildly ambiguous.  Just like me.

We found this on our way to visit my friend Annie’s organic rooftop farm.  Dude, seriously.  A farm on a warehouse roof with an amazing view of the city!  Also, SCRUMPTIOUS baby greens and tomatoes that were dying to be in my belly.

Then, we did the unthinkable.  We went to New Jersey!  (or the Newj, as I like to say)  But, actually, the Newj is kind of the shizz, and it is far more beautiful than people give it credit for (just ask Erica). We went kayaking on Lex’s uncle’s wonderful lake.

And went walking through beautiful trails with our super bright colored shorts.

Note that these shorts were necessary in case any of us got separated because they’re easy to spot, and surprisingly enough, the Newj has tons of nature to get lost in!

Then, it was the moment we had been waiting for.  The opening night of NYLIFF!  Here I am looking very Latina, which is why I was in the VIP line.

Oh, you had better believe that I watched myself!

We got into the theater and sat down.  Dudes.  Whoopi was there and Benjamin Bratt!  Good thing that man is married, because there was a theater full of Latina ladies (like myself) who would have beaten him over the head and dragged him against his will to the county courthouse to get hitched before we went to our cave.  Seriously.  Women were going Neanderthal over this guy.  He is dreamy, but the light was low, so I only have a blurry picture of him.  Sorry, yo.

After the movie, we went to the after party in possibly the tackiest, neon painted-est, mannequin decorated-est place in Manhattan. See below:

The guy with the mic was trying to bust out his best Justin Timberlake impression, but it was sad, just sad.  Since there were only free drinks for about 20 minutes, we got as much as we could as quickly as we could.

I learned this trick from fellow pansters at the Dos Equis castle party.  Thanks Pansters!

You can infer how douche-y the people at the party were by the fact that the entire thing was sponsored by Ed Hardy.  Uffda!

Anyway, this place was not my scene.  I went excitedly to bed because the next day was PREMIERE DAY!!!!!!   We’re talking WORLD PREMIERE at an HBO festival.  The next morning, I went to Wall Street to listen to my pals Sam and Elissa play in the River to River Music Festival.  Their band is called The Great Republic of Rough and Ready.  They are awesome, and you should listen to them.

Then, a really large rain storm later, it was GO TIME!  The dress went on!

I know you can’t really see the dress here, but if one of you fools gets married (or has a bogus graduation party, or an outlandish dinner gala) and invites me, I will wear this dress.  It is now my dress for every schmancy occasion.  But what you can see in this picture is most of the people who made this movie.  Aren’t they cute? Isn’t our poster kind of awesome?  And apparently the movie was awesome too because we swept the documentary categories and won both the Audience Award AND Best Documentary!  Yay Stages!

After the film, we went to a super secret boat, that isn’t owned by the city, but the private owners don’t care if you go on it.  It is also conveniently located next to an open-air bar.  So obviously it is the best place to celebrate.  Except it was totally a set-up for a really grizzly horror movie.  None of the lights turned on.  It was only us on this three level boat.  There was a single shoe and mussed sheets in one of the bunks.  Then I heard something really creepy.  An out of tune piano.  DUDES!  My friend had crept down to the lowest level of the hull, found the piano and started playing the piano to scare us.  Why in the hell did these people have a piano that could only play the soundtrack to our impending deaths?  SCARY!  Anyway, we sat and had beer in the back of the boat, and had a good time.  Sorry for the low light…seriously it was dark and cavernous in there.

But then, there was a HUGE storm!  Rain was pouring in through the port holes, the boat was rocking tremendously.  I thought I was going to puke and then die.  But, thankfully, the storm subsided, and I did neither of those dreadful things.  PHEW!

I went to bed happy to be alive, finally dry, and ready for the second greatest brunch ever the following day.  This brunch happened at Tom’s Restaurant in Prospect Heights, Brooklyn.  This place is OUT OF CONTROL!  My friend and I split crab cake benedict (sorry for the repeat!) and sweet potato pancakes that were OUT OF THIS WORLD!  They gave you butter mixes (butter w/ cinnamon, butter w/ stawberries, butter w/ lime rind) that were so delicious I didn’t even use syrup!

We also had great Kilbasa sausage that my friend claims is the greatest sausage ever, but Texans, no need to worry, it has nothing on the sausage that you can get at BBQ joints.  But then, I don’t think you were worried. There is also some guy that works there who cruises through the restaurant and asks you if you want complimentary cookies every twenty minutes or so.  Seriously.  Cookies at breakfast.  It was HEAVEN!

And with my belly full, I went home!  Next time I go, I promise to expand and vary my food intake.  I hope I haven’t failed you all.

Links

If you go to New York, you have to go to Bespoke Chocolates.  It is TASTY BUSINESS, and it also was started earlier this year by my friend Rachel, who quit Columbia grad school to go to culinary school.  Talk about following your passions!  Also, can anyone say salted caramel dipped in dark chocolate and rolled in pretzel?  Yes, I almost died too!

Cat playing theremin.  Nothing else needs to be said.

Is anyone else a Jane Campion fan?  Well, here’s to all the ladies out there with 19C hearts yearning for the beginning of fall movie season.  Bright Star

Texans beware!  THEY LET SQUEAKY FREE! I read Helter Skelter for my criminalistics course in high school (my teacher corresponds with Manson himself…really, really creepy), and let me tell you Squeaky is one f’d lady.  Even my great aunt Elsie was scared of her. When I got the Barbie news station for Christmas (at age 6), I was playing with Elsie (then 92). My sister (as Midge) reported that a woman had escaped from prison. Elsie (camera operator) gasped, put her hands to her cheeks, and with wide eyes said, “Oh my, what if it’s Squaky?!”  Good think Elsie isn’t alive today to hear this news.  It would have done her in.

© 2009 Poshdeluxe.