extravaganza

CASTLE PARTY!!!!

i think i’ve been waiting my whole life to say these words:

last night, i went to a party at a castle.

I WENT TO A PARTY AT A CASTLE!!!!!!

my six-year-old self is TOTALLY FREAKING OUT RIGHT NOW. and also wondering if i got to wear a ball gown. sorry little sarah pants, i was not able to pull off a hoop skirt or a cone hat, BUT i did get to drink free beer, which my 30-year-old self considers to be a pretty good trade-off.

last night, henri, trish, chris, erica g., sally and her friend kate and i all journeyed to the mystical, magical land of burnet, tx so we could attend a huge bash at the falkenstein castle.

yeah, go ahead and click on that link.

I KNOW, IT’S HUGE!

and yes, it’s weird that it’s in the middle of nowhere, texas! and also that the website is from like 1998!

anyway, i heard about the castle a while back and have been DYING for an excuse to go, except no one i know would actually ever consider getting married there. which is probably a good thing. anyway! so when sally forwarded me an email about this party, i said “yes!” faster than sleeping beauty falling asleep at the spindle!

after about an hour and a half drive, we parked near the entrance and began walking down a long driveway. when i saw this sign i totally freaked out.

suddenly, there it was, peeking through the trees! peekabo it’s A CASTLE!!!!

i admit, we were a little worried about the crowd at this party. would it be a sea of hipsters? a swarm of douchey downtowners? turns out, EVERYONE wants to go the a party at a castle, cos this was one of the most diverse crowds i have ever seen. there were, indeed, a lot of hipsters and douchey downtowners, but there were also a fair number of hippies, goths (no seriously), nondescript a.k.a. regular folks and, my personal favorite, renfesters!!!!

and then there was this guy, who was totally keeping it real.

finally, we reached the castle (I LOVE SAYING THAT) and it was pretty much as huge and majestic as i imagined:

granted, i’ve seen like actual old castles in germany and stuff, and of course those are beautiful and historical, but you have to admit, for texas, this is pretty dang impressive.

so the party was sponsored by dos equis, and they were calling it the “most interesting academy,” i guess cos they were trying to be clever. for example, they had greeters dressed up like prep school students and signs like this:

personally, i think they should’ve just stuck with the name “CASTLE PARTY” because what more do you need?

once we had passed through the gates (no, there was no moat, and yes, we were all disappointed), i realized that the interior of the castle was just as over the top as i had hoped.

not only that, but it was packed with people!

there was definitely a sort of “festival” vibe in the air, due mostly to the diverse crowd (and, ok, the free beer). i also have to give major pants to the party planners for practicing some pretty decent crowd control. unlike most of the sxsw parties i’ve attended, this event was was full but not overcrowded and, most importantly, they did NOT run out of beer. that is like, some serious fairy godmother magic right there.

of course, when we got there, we were still operating under sxsw strategery, meaning we grabbed as many beers as possible right away so we would have supplies for the whole night.

LOOK WE’RE AT A CASTLE!! OH SNAP!!!

it was easy to spot the true professionals in our posse.

so, with a castle and free beer, the party was already poised to be a hit. but you guys, there was MORE. MUCH MUCH MORE!

there was a waterslide!

(none of us went on it, though, cos i hate walking around in a wet swimsuit unless i’m at a pool or the schlit)

there were skydivers!!!

(that part was kinda like whatevs but ok)

there were HUGE CREEPY CRAWLIES THAT YOU COULD HOLD IN YR HAND!!!!!!!!

seriously, they had this little petting zoo of bugs! and, while i would have preferred, say, a petting zoo of puppies, it was pretty awesome to be able to take pictures like this:

(although that mantis thing totally did NOT turn into a prince, even though we were in a castle, AHEM)

most importantly, the creepy crawlie petting zoo gave sally the chance for a rematch with her most formidable foe: THE TARANTULA!!!!

no phone camera pictures this time, folks. that is a FULL ON CLOSE ENCOUNTER.

there were also snakes, although people weren’t holding them, which is probably good, cos i know the whole red and yellow, kill a fellow thing, but what about red and WHITE?!!!

in addition to the bugs and snakes, there was a barbershop (?!), a “percussion gathering” (i can’t actually remember the name, it was percussion… something, but basically it was a fancy pants way of saying “drum circle”), a live band and dj, some kind of bug-eating station and, no castle party would be complete without it, a MEDIEVAL WEAPONRY TABLE!!!!!

y’all, swords never get old. i mean, sure, i’m not planning on joining any kind of braveheart-inspired group like the dudes i went to high school with who made their own chain mail and had practice battles behind the local elementary school BUT still, there’s just something really awesome and primal and just HARDCORE about swords.

as demonstrated by trish, warrior princess!

after exploring the oddities inside the castle, we spent some time watching people swing around on this acrobatic sling:

and actually, we only watched that for about two minutes before we found THE WIND TUNNEL!!!!

now, i’m pretty sure wind tunnels did not really exist in medieval times but i’m willing to overlook it because WATCH THIS:

I KNOW, RIGHT?!!

we all wanted to try it but the line was really really long, so instead we decided there must be a way to connect wind tunneling to an upcoming movie so henri, i mean, the alamo can rent one of these machines!! and then we can fly and spin around like skydivers but without the whole plane jumping thing!!

so, yeah. it turns out that castle parties are pretty freaking awesome.

after last night, i have a new understanding of why cinderella wanted to go to the ball SO BAD *and* why she had trouble departing on time.

i thought about leaving my shoe behind, but i don’t think dos equis would show up at my house the next day asking for my hand in marriage. although if that happened, i would soooo say yes to a lifetime of free beer and castle parties.

now THAT’s my idea of happily ever after.

LINKS

i haven’t seen the new harry potter yet (I KNOW! I KNOW! but this weekend!!!) so i’m not 100% informed BUT vulture’s ranking of the movies from most ridiculous to most brilliant seems pretty spot on.

trish sent me this fabulous link to some of the best-dressed cartoon ladies paired with real runway looks. i think she-ra is my fave, although jem… jem has so much SPARKLE.

the “whip it” trailer is out, and yes, it looks kinda cliche. and yes, i am excited. and yes, i want drew’s rainbow hair.

looks like the movie version of “king dork” has a director, which means it’s one step closer to getting made. HOLLA!

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