And it’s similar to the flakiness issue, except that at least with that you know that if they *do* show up, you’re going to enjoy their company. What do you do when your pet peeve is that sometimes people show up and then just act as downers, making the whole group lose a bit of energy, and the night or entire weekend become less of a success. With a flaky person, you don’t really need to draw a final line anywhere. With someone who continually blocks their own awesomeness potential? At some point, heads have gotta roll.

And so I say, yes, this is my pet peeve, and it’s my own fault and I shouldn’t let it get to me as much.

But also, shouldn’t we all just be more awesome?

Would you hate me if I told you that I do have abnormally small feel and could probably fit into a children size 5 or 6? I wanted to go as Dorothy one year for Halloween and wanted the ruby red slippers (and ahem, not a slutty costume…which also proved to be difficult). They don’t make those shoes in adult sizes, so I headed to the kids section and tried them on…they were tight, but I could manage. Unfortunately, they only had white glittery shoes so I went as something else, but I did find out that I can wear tiny shoes.

Yes, I am pretty tall with shrimp feel. Don’t ask me how I ended up with them. Maybe they will grow these last couple of months of pregnancy…

i like your back & forth and wonder what next week’s lunch will inspire! it was fun to chat today. i also have this to add:

i think it’s totally fair to get annoyed with people for being annoying. one thing i’ve really had to reconcile with myself is realizing that, while i’m very sensitive and get my feelings hurt a lot, people often don’t mean to hurt my feelings. they are as consumed in their worlds as i am in mine, and while i’d love it if they could be more thoughtful–sometimes they just don’t have that to give.

is your BFF always going to be thoughtless? no. but a hang-out buddy might be more thoughtless than your BFF. we can’t really control how other people act toward our pet peeves, even if we express them, but we can decide based on their actions what kind of role they will play in our day-to-day lives. or in our lives as a whole. relationships are malleable in that way, fortunately, and we don’t have to put up with things that hurt our feelings on a regular basis.

one other thing: every best friend in my life did something at one point that made me think, “this is it. we’re not going to be friends anymore, because this is a deal breaker.” but the fight got resolved, or the friend changed that habit. in the most recent situation, which broke the rules of BFFdom and majorly hurt my feelings, i had to make a decision–was i going to accept this huge quirk, or was i cutting it off? and i decided, for a long time, the latter. but then i missed the things i like and decided that, even though i hated the quirk, i loved the things i did more than i hated the quirk. so i’m putting up with it and keeping that friendship, even though sometimes the quirk will get on my nerves.

i’m still processing my ideas about these kinds of boundaries, which is why i’m so wordy. plus, this is like the topic of my life in counseling.