alamoing

renegade karaoke!

last wednesday, i participated in something that has never, ever happened before.*

i boarded a bus, along with about 18 other people, and unleashed a surprise karaoke attack on austin!

GUERRILLA KARAOKE, Y’ALL!!!

here’s how it worked:

the alamo put together a karaoke “rig” on a van that allowed us to reach a location, quickly pull out a screen and microphone, and then blast an unsuspecting audience with our incredible singing abilities, transmitted via massive speakers in said van.

as you can imagine, it was THE FREAKING PANTS!

obvs, though, renegade karaoke is NOT for the faint of heart. nor for the easily embarrassed. in fact, if you have experienced even a *second* of shame over any activity in the last five years, just stay home. only the shameless can endure the extreme ridiculousness and high stakes involved with this kind of guerrilla activity.

everyone on the bus had already planned their song and location, and a high standard was quickly set during our first stop.

first stop: bike shop

apparently, the woman who sang knew that there would be a large group of people engaged in a work-out class, so she serenaded them with “drift away” (and changed some of the words to make them more bike appropriate). i couldn’t tell if these folks really appreciated the encouragement or not.

you may notice tim in the middle of the picture. and no, he was not originally part of the class.

[btw, flossie was still battery dead from the britney show, so i had to use sadie instead. consequently, these photos aren't really top quality. sorry!]

it was obvious from our first stop that people were not quite prepared for our karaoke onslaught, although when tim ran around with the mike, several of the cyclists chimed in (WHILE continuing their workout. hardcore!!!).

second stop: starbucks

starbucks turned out to be our most controversial stop, meaning it was the only business who actually called the cops on us. no really, they did. which is funny, cos we weren’t being THAT disruptive. i mean, sure, the song was “we’re not gonna take it” but hello, everyone knows twisted sister is more of a hair metal band than anything punk or revolutionary.

regardless, we finished the song then QUICKLY hopped back on the bus. when we passed by fifteen minutes later, we saw a cop car AND an ambulance. dude. starbucks, why you gotta go wasting our tax dollars? if that’s yr best, yr best won’t DOOOOOOOO!

third stop: the angelina eberly statue on congress

ok, this chick? she was TOTALLY my favorite. not only did she choose the perfect location for “if i could turn back time” (to learn why, read this), but she went ALL out with the cher-ness. she belted, she danced, she RODE THAT CANNON!!!!!

she was so good, in fact, that when the security from the building came out, they simply stood, smiled and enjoyed the show. AWESOME.

fourth stop: lady bird lake jogging trail

greg decided to sing “eye of the tiger” in the hopes of, you know, bringing a little inspiration to all of the joggers. we helped spread the love by standing on the strail and giving people high fives which were sometimes reciprocated.

all i can say is, renegade karaoke beats the crap out of listening to the same playlist on yr ipod, right? RIGHT!

i have the feeling that a lot of joggers changed their route after that day. but anyway.

fifth stop: the ritz

we actually just went to the theater to take a bathroom break, but while we were there, we ran into these, uh, ladies (and dragged up gents) promoting coyote ugly, one of the many, many atrocious and unnecessary bars on sixth street.

i mention this because, like chris farley’s speech in “wayne’s world,” it becomes v. v. useful information later in the story.

sixth stop: cipolinna, an italian restaurant

this location was super fun, mostly cos the singer had notified his friends so that they were all sitting outside, waiting for us. after performing for people who were neither expecting nor particularly wanting to hear us sing, it was a nice change of pace to have, like, people cheering! and singing! and not calling the cops! plus, this guy chose “don’t stop believing,” and i challenge anyone to hear this song without dramatically wailing along.

seventh stop: the parking lot of burger king

i’ve spent my whole life dreaming of the day when i could sing “the humpty dance” in a burger king parking lot, and i didn’t realize it until the lead singer pulled out his fake glasses & nose set and launched into, “alright, stop whatcha doin’, cos i’m about to ruin…”

plus, burger king gave us all crowns! and a red bull car pulled over and the rep girls started giving everyone red bull! and then some homeless guys walked over, danced with us and ALSO scored some red bull!

seriously, it was like, straight up music video action.

speaking of video, why am i typing all of this up when you guys could just watch this super fun video that henri made about our entire night?

I KNOW, RIGHT?

yes, that is me, singing “gay bar” in front of coyote ugly. hey, they invited us earlier, remember?! although i think their idea of us “stopping by” meant, like, buying drinks and maybe dancing on the bar. but whatevs, this one really huge, scary-looking bouncer TOTALLY loved it. either that or he wanted to punch me in the face. it was hard to tell. esp. cos i left REALLY QUICKLY after the song ended.

and, in my favorite moment of the night, henri actually serenaded cars on the feeder road with the phil collins classic “another day in paradise.” instead of looking out the window and seeing a panhandler, they got an earful of henri, telling them to “OH! think twice!” greg tagged along and actually made $3 (he gave it to a homeless guy, cos he thought twice). oh and henri almost got hit by a bus, as you can see in the video.

we had a few more stops, but i think you get the idea, esp. with the video highlights.

so, yeah, we karaoked the PANTS out of austin. and i’m pretty sure we’ll do it again. i’m already trying to pick my next karaoke target. so… WATCH OUT, austin! when you least expect it, i’m coming to rock you like a hurricane.

*ok, so i didn’t do, like, extensive research. but i’ve never HEARD of anyone doing this so… yeah. first time ever!

LINKS

henri posted the new trailer for “extract,” which mike judge mentioned at the office space anniversary. uh… better than “office space”? MAYBE!

squee of the day: BABY ANIMALS! my fave? PUPPY IN A CUP! way better than pizza in a cup, btw (thanks, talena, for the link!).

© 2009 Poshdeluxe.