squee!

disney pants part 3: dreams really DO come true! yay!

after weathering all of the rain in hollywood studios, i was MORE than ready the next morning for the squeeness of the magic kingdom. i mean, cinderella’s castle! characters to hug! fried food! little kids in costumes! SPACE MOUNTAIN!

our first ride of the day was actually on the monorail, which when i was five seemed like a totally futuristic train but now feels exactly like a subway. still, as henri discovered, it’s really fun to say “monorail.” esp. with a strange european-ish accent.

determined to remain as DRY AS POSSIBLE, i insisted on wearing my poncho. even though it wasn’t raining. and even though henri told me i looked like a huge dork.

but i got the last laugh, cos as we excited the monorail, it was sprinkling (boo). and everyone else was wearing a poncho, so i felt like less of a loser.

but even cloudy skies can’t diminish the sparkle of the magic kingdom. i mean look!!!

we made a beeline for space mountain, cos it’s always been my most favoritist favorite ride in all of disneyworld. even when i was five, i made my dad ride it with me, and HE was the scaredy cat. plus, the bad weather meant that the park wasn’t really crowded yet, so we didn’t even have to use a fast pass! we just walked right on the ride, which is like, wining the lottery. seriously.

see? the poncho is totally not dorky. not at all.

space mountain, in case you’ve never ridden it (hello, what are you waiting for?!!), is a roller coaster that mostly takes place in the dark, and you zoom around stars and planets and go through tunnels that feel totally like tron:

honestly, there is no better theme for a coaster than space. i mean, people have tried, like with aerosmith or naming it after a big snake or adding water, but really, there is no way you can ever improve on the feeling of flying through space. well, space with oxygen.

upon exiting the ride, i ran into my video game archnemisis, the jumpin’ jackpot!!!! i was all, “JJ, what are YOU doing here?!!”

then i noticed the name change and realized that this was merely a cousin of the jumpin’ jackpot, and definitely a lesser cousin, cos you don’t win tickets. uh, SO not worth my time.

wanting to revisit even more of my disney nostalgia, i dragged erica and henri onto “it’s a small world” because, and this has been scientifically proven, it is the Squee-est Ride In The Universe.

i mean, even as you enter the ride, it says this:

(it says “sailed” at the end but i accidentally cut it off)

who wouldn’t want to ride the happiest cruise that ever sailed?!!!!! plus everyone knows the song, so you can sing along with total strangers and feel connected with them and YAY! it really is a small world after all!

sailing through the various “countries,” i suddenly realized that my encounter with this ride as a five year old completely shaped my sense of style, aka MY APARTMENT LOOKS JUST LIKE THIS RIDE. man, it feels good to discover yr roots.

back outside, we ran into some little disney princesses! and i know what i said about the whole marketing monster thing, and i still hate that salon but… LOOK HOW ADORABLE THEY ARE!!!!!!!!

i esp. dig their choice of footwear.

since we were in front of the castle, i of course insisted that we take our required cheesy group photo. and of course it’s totally frameable!!!!

HOW CUTE ARE WE WITH OUR MOUSE EARS?!!!

(also, note the mini cinderella on the left. like i said, they’re everywhere!)

aren’t they fabulous?! we discovered that disney now lets you *customize* yr own mickey ears to match yr taste and personality. so, of course erica went with the classic (cos she’s a disney purist), while henri went with the bling (basically the disney equivalent of a gold chain) while my genetic structure practically FORCED me select the pinkest, fuzziest thing possible.

i swear, wearing mouse ears makes everything a hundred times happier. in fact, if you’re having a bad day, and you need to come over and borrow my pink ears, i will let you.

we decided to keep the old school vibe going with a trip to peter pan’s flight:

i think my favorite aspect of this ride is sitting in a brightly colored, shiny flying ship. there’s even a lady that sprinkles fairy dust over yr boat as you head into the ride!

next stop was the haunted mansion, which is totally the best “scary” ride cos it’s not really scary. which is how i LIKE IT. there’s no one grabbing you, and all of the effects are fake, so it’s got sort of a campy, vincent price feel. still, erica and i pretended to be scared, just for fun.

we went from chills to thrills on the big thunder mountain roller coaster, which is so awesome, we had to ride it twice (seriously, people, january = no lines. it’s almost too good to be true, except you still have to pay seven dollars for a beer, so you know it’s true).

i love that picture.

speaking of great pictures, LOOK AT THIS ONE!!!!

attention, disney: if you need to update yr brochures, you know who to call.

we decided to try out another 3D ride, this one entitled “stitch’s great escape.” i’ve never actually seen “lilo & stitch,” and maybe it’s a great movie, but let me tell you right now: THIS RIDE STUNK.

and i mean that LITERALLY. so the premise is that stitch is being teleported to this alien jail (i know, i didn’t really understand what was going on, either), and then he escapes and is running all around the room, so you hear sounds and the seats vibrate so it feels like he’s right next to you. that’s all fine and good except for this one little detail that i wish i had known before fastening my seat belt: stitch has really bad breath. and guess what? HE BURPS ON YOU.

AND IT IS TOTALLY DISGUSTING. like, i cannot believe disney actually created and tested and manufactured this scent. it is an assult on family decency.

fortunately for stitch, i’m a v. v. forgiving person. cos even though he BURPED IN MY FACE, when i saw him outside, i decided to give him an old school, little sarah style hug.

i am relieved to report to you that his breath in person is not really that bad. whew!

i wasn’t the only one getting some action: check out erica with buzz lightyear!!

i think i kinda won that round, though, cos hard plastic isn’t as cuddley as fur.

we decided to kick it old school again with a visit to the carousel of progress, which is a ride disney created for the world’s fair in, like, the 1950s.

basically, you sit in a theater that revolves around a stage, and the stage is sectioned off into the same scene (a family in a kitchen) but in different decades. so, you start out at the turn of the century, and the dad talks about all of these “new inventions” that you can roll yr eyes at cos at this point, you’re from “the future” and you’re like, “dude, just WAIT until america gets microwaves. just wait!!” and then it goes to the 1920s, and then the 40s, and then the 50s… and then (and this is the best part), it jumps straight to “today.” apparently, today’s families sit around and watch laser discs and play virtual reality games with their power gloves and talk to their ovens.

wow, i had no idea that i was so ahead of the curve. now where’s my hover board?

after emerging back into “today” (and really, as far as the carousel of progress is concerned, we are now in “the future”), i made erica take another cheesy disney pic for me. I COULDN’T HELP IT! there’s a CASTLE! and we were wearing MOUSE EARS! we had to!!!

oh man, i’m gonna have to buy, like, 20 new frames. esp. cos look how cute henri looks in this one!!

henri, i don’t understand why that’s not yr new facebook profile pic. seriously.

after burning so many calories with all of our strenuous ride-riding, it was vital that we stuff our faces with funnel cake. ladies and gentlemen, i proudly present to you my funnel cake face:

OMG I WANT TO RIP THAT OFF MY COMPUTER SCREEN AND EAT IT RIGHT NOW!!

fueled by all of that deep fried tastiness, we paid a visit to donald duck (he’s in frontier land, so obvs he has to blend in with the locals)…

… rode the classic “pirates of the caribbean” ride, which now features johnny depp, which is kiiiinda weird cos it’s obvious that they just tried to stick him in there to tie in with the movie but hello, animatronic johnny depp? i’m not gonna complain.

after the ride, we ran into some real life pirates!!!!!!!!

thankfully, henri has already walked the plank (at last year’s pirate boat party), so he wasn’t scared of captain hook at all.

so, as evidenced by the pirate ride, disney doesn’t really care about preserving the historical integrity of its rides. which can sometimes lead to major disasters like the tiki room, now “under new management,” i.e. they added in two birds from newish disney movies. which totally destroys the charming camp quality of the tiki room! booo!! unfortunately, the new management is not currently accepting comment cards.

fortunately, disney has NOT replaced the jungle cruise ride, even though they now have actual animals in the animal kingdom safari. not only do i love robotic animals, but our cruise director, doug, was seriously my all time favorite person in all of disney. even though he had a script he had to follow, he was actually FUNNY. and not, like, disney funny. REAL funny. henri wanted to hire him on the spot to work at the alamo, but alamo employees don’t get to ride things for free, so henri wasn’t sure if doug would go for it.

I LOVE YOU DOUG! you can be my cruise director anytime!

we couldn’t leave the park without riding the most classic disney ride of them all: the teacups!!!!

i love the teacups!! not only cos they spin, but you get to sit in a giant cup! and i like to think that means there might be giant cookies nearby.

about four seconds into the ride, erica realized that she, in fact, *hates* the teacups, thereby making this video totally awesome:

don’t worry, the ride stopped before erica booted or anything.

as we were leaving the park, guess who we saw!! GUESS GUESS GUESS!!

OMG we saw my old hug partners, chip and dale!!!!!!! it was like destiny!!!!!

not to sound conceited, but i think i’m still as good of a hugger as i was when i was a little poshlet.

seriously, that hug totally made my night. and then we went back to the african lodge where erica used to work, and the dinner we ate there made my LIFE!!!

the restaurant features an african buffet, so not only was it amazingly delicious, but i got to try some dishes i’d never tasted before! it was like, a culinary ride! THOSE ARE THE BEST! (sorry space mountain).

the buffet really was incredible. like, they had five kinds of soup! five! and henri tried all of them.

(that’s him on his fourth one, in case you can’t read his fingers)

and if you’re wondering, “sarah, what was the best part of the buffet?” you are obviously dead to me cos DUH IT WAS THE DESSERT!!!!

those little truffle-looking things are called zebra domes, and oh man, if i ever go on a real african safari, they will be my #1 target.

so yeah, it was a pretty. great. day. that disney ain’t messing around– the magic kingdom really is A MAGICAL PLACE!!

… you knew i was going to say that, didn’t you?

tomorrow: last disney pants post! eeeeeepcot!!!

LINKS

thanks to this site, you can now add bacon to any webpage. PAGING MEREDITH’S DREAM COME TRUE. plus, i’ve always wanted to say: “poshdeluxe: now with BACON!” and now i can! yay!

i haven’t had time to read all of it yet, but talena sent me a HILARIOUS article in time about how facebook is, like, so TMI.

dude! next time i’m in new york, i totally want to explore the brooklyn tunnel. soooo fascinating.

have you guys seen the new oasis video? i agree with vulture’s old school preference– music videos should tell a story (helloo, take on me!), and this one spins a good one.

j. sent me this video of cookie monster doing a little jay-z. which is awesome but also kinda freaked me out. cookie monster ain’t no gangsta!

OMG! i was just talking about candyland yesterday, and today i read that they’re going to make a candyland movie!!!!! tasty business! although the real question is: can they top the deliciousness of willie wonka’s factory?

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