alamoing

george and jenny + austin = love at first queso

i think it’s been well established on this blog that austin is a totally fantastic city and a SUPER GREAT place to live. all of the restaurants and shopping and music and public events pretty much speak for themselves.

with that said… i am REALLY good at showing this city off. seriously. i’m like, the stage mom of austin. “AQUANET. WE NEED MORE AQUANET.”

therefore, i was utterly delighted when george and jenny, henri’s and my dear friends from boston, decided to fly down to texas and pay their first visit to the lone star state! esp. cos they’ve always been such fabulous hosts to henri and me, and it was high time we paid them back with tasty business and a HIGHLY overdue introduction to queso.

no really, they had never tasted queso before. I’M NOT KIDDING. i know it’s crazy but that’s what they said!!!!

i try to imagine a life without queso and i just taste ashes in my mouth.

so of course henri took them immediately to trudy’s so they could experience queso and enjoy some tasty margaritas. obvs george and jenny had tried THOSE before, but still, it’s different in texas. y’all know what i mean.

jenny immediately understood this difference during her first taste of a margarita at vivo (the second restaurant stop of the day):

oh vivo margarita, you have no equal.

george was still reeling over the magic that is melted cheese, so we ordered some more.

after queso and ritas, we obvs had to visit the Third Wonder of austin, the alamo! duh! henri hosted an anchorman quote-along AND a sing-along, so george and jenny were treated to quite a spectacle.

ok, i honestly didn’t recognize henri when he came out in that wig and ’stache. he walked up behind my seat and i said, “i’m really sorry, but these seats are taken,” before i realized i was talking to my boyfriend! the beastie boys were totally right– a wig and a mustache can really transform you into a different person.

i mean, jenny and i are like totally unrecognizable.

we’re gonna tie you to a railroad track, meeheeHAHAHAHA!!

things, of course, got silly, as they always do at the alamo, and soon the mustaches had transformed our two bostonians into muppets. or bad mike myers movie characters.

spoiler: we basically spent the rest of the weekend consuming things, because, well, that’s kind of what i do every weekend.

and just when george and jenny thought nothing could be better than queso, we took them to our nation’s most cherished dietary treasure, uchi.

that face that jenny’s making? yeah, that’s called the Uchi Face.

after stuffing ourselves silly with sushi, we pretty much did a cultural 180 and decided to visit our most texas-y hangout, the circle country club! it’s the one place where all of those stereotypes east coasters believe about texas COME TO LIFE!

jenny totally fell in love with this sweet ride outside of the bar. i told her, “if you like this car, you’re gonna LOVE the clientele here.”

ok, so i hope you’re reading this sitting down (standing at a computer is kinda weird?), but GET THIS:

before this weekend, george and jenny had never done karaoke.

I AM SERIOUS.

a life without queso AND karaoke?!! that’s like living in a steinbeck novel, for the love of sweet fancy moses!!!!!!!

thank goodness g & j have friends like henri and me to bring them out of the dark ages and into the light of Public Embarrassment.

so, being the professionals, the austin crew had to show them how them the ropes, and we took on this responsibility v. v. seriously. in fact, maybe too seriously.

caitlin can totally WAIL! she and i majorly put crucial taught to shame. suck it, cassandra!

and yes, i’m available for birthday parties, school events, etc.

and then there was THIS guy:

can you tell the CCC regulars love us? cos they do. ooooh man, they do.

i had to remind george and jenny that they should NOT base their future expectations on the circle cc, cos, well, you don’t find many karaoke places with a floor for two stepping and guys like this:

nor do you typically see a cat coming in to check out the screeching noises. “i can has quiet, plz?”

halfway through the evening, george and jenny mustered up the courage to perform their v. first karaoke number, “jackson.” even though they encountered a common karaoke issue (not knowing the song as well as you think you do), they did a terrific job and received many accolades from the crowd, including this guy in the back that kept shouting, “SIGN ‘EM UP! FIFTY MILLION DOLLAR CONTRACT!”

my only critique is that they need to work on their Karaoke Face. i mean, this just will not do:

where’s the unflattering snarl? the burning emotion? the “i’m in labor” expression?

here, let the pros show you how it’s done:

FACE HARD! (literally)

we spent the next day (saturday) enjoying the beautiful weather, i.e. rubbing the boston snow storm in jenny and george’s faces. just like real tourists, we drove up to mt. bonnell to take lots of posed pictures in front of the view:

we also formed a band:

after the photo op, we headed to the dog park near redbud (i don’t know how to describe these things), where there are lots of dogs (j & g looooove dogs) and pretty scenery.

once again, our band/fashion label resurfaced.

i think we can all guess what came next: MARGARITA BREAK! after all of that hardcore nature stuff, we totally needed a little bit of downtown with some tequila. and, continuing the tourist trend, we decided to hang out at hula hut!

the tropical vibe didn’t help the whole, “did you know there’s six inches of snow in boston right now?” thing.

the consumption continued on south congress, where george and jenny discovered orange soda lurve at big top…

and then progressed to parkside (of COURSE we went to parkside), where george and jenny found the #2 item on their texas food list: mac ‘n’ cheese!

ok, i know they have mac ‘n’ cheese in boston, but it’s just not the same. i promise. i’ve tried it! they put curry in it! yuck!

as if living in austin couldn’t get any better (queso, weather, uchi), henri and i introduced george and jenny to the cheap drinks of mugshots, followed by the tastiness of whiskey and ginger at side bar. i’m pointing to my eye in this picture cos the bartender accidentally shot a beer cap right into my face and then gave us a free drink. i almost lost my eyesight, but got free liquor! score!

sunday was spent absorbing more of the FABULOUS weather (seriously, it was amazing). we ate a whole foods lunch on the pedestrian bridge…

(are g & j like the most coordinated couple or what?!)

… and then walked around the park near the long center, which features a super fun dancing fountain (watching the kids is the BEST) and a big ole hill.

ok, seriously, can i go back to that day? please? it was so perfect!

we sat on top of the hill and watched the bikes and dogs and people go by. the highlight was totally these two boys who rolled at breakneck speeds down the hill about 100 times. and i thought *i* was having fun!

also? i really want that sweater. in my size.

we ended the afternoon with… SURPRISE! MARGARITAS!!!

i love how jenny is pretending to be a total pro with that blasé look on her face, like, “oh yeah, i do this all of the time.”

well, jenny, if you moved here, you could!!!!!! with me!!! yay!!

thanks for visiting, you guys!! i had the best time!! ya’ll come back soon!!!

in the meantime, henri and i are accepting applications for people wanting to visit austin via our Touring Service (fees include margaritas, queso and the hot rock at uchi).

oh, and austin, here’s some vaseline. put it on yr teeth so you can smile real big!

LINKS

ok, i know that eventually i will talk about other things besides our new president but OMG did you guys see the first dance?!!! did anyone else tear up? gah, if things keep going at this rate, the state of the union is going to slay me.

and also the gorgeous dresses!!!!! ok i love pomp and circumstance!!!

also? i love that the media frenzy means we get to read all about what the obamas are eating. see, THIS is the kind of info i want to read about. also, note for my future white house visit: i want to sit at the kid’s table.

and now a totally UNobama link: is anyone watching tool academy? cos, um, it looks AMAZING, brah!

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