cray

dave and busting my pants!

i spent the past weekend celebrating the 30th birthday of my beloved pants, erica g– happy birthday, erica!

in the process of the festivities, we journeyed to a magical, electric neon world that i haven’t glimpsed since i was in high school… a place where all of yr dreams can come true: racing cars, killing zombies and rolling a ball into a 100 point circle.

i’m talking, of course, about DAVE & BUSTER’S!

dave & buster’s is basically the adult version of chuckee cheese. there’s no animatronics, but there IS a full bar. when i was in high school, i seriously thought D&B was the CAT’S JIMJAMS. people who had their birthday parties there were the luckiest kids ever, cos there were tons of video games, skee ball and they even had *virtual reality* rooms I AM NOT KIDDING. plus the bar was usually full of people in suits, and i remember thinking to myself: “when i’m an adult, i am totally going to be here ALL THE TIME! cos this is where business people come to have fun!”

no really, i thought that.

now that i *am* an adult (well, supposedly), i guess it was high time that i act like a real Business Person and start Having Fun at my local D&B. erica’s bday gave me the perfect excuse!

first impression: D&B feels like a casino, but without the smoke and the scent of desperation. ok, well, there’s still a hint of it.

lots of the games are, in fact, gambling oriented devices, although you just win tickets as opposed to real money. i think my favorite thing in the whole place was this “hi roller” display:

you’re not gonna find THAT level of glamor at the bellagio, no siree!

even though D&B is designed for adults, it can’t resist being full on hokey. even the bar has a 50s sort of vibe, which made us all feel like we were ordering vodka sodas at the peach pit. dude, where’s dylan?

you may not be surprised to learn that the video game selection at D&B totally puts the crap at austin park & pizza to shame (although i still love yr ghetto ways, AP&P!). for example: the dance dance revolution game (which was named something else) actually WORKED. check out meredith and erica pulling some sweet moves.

and GUESS WHAT ELSE THEY HAD!! OMG!

BIG BUCK SAFARI! which is the AFRICAN version of big buck hunter, my favorite shooting game!!!!!!

see, instead of shooting deer, you shoot things like GIRAFFES and LEOPARDS.  you even get to kill endangered species, like elephants!!! and, as if that wasn’t enough, the big buck hunter girls are dressed in safari gear! it’s genius!

and guess who’s the worst enemy of simba?

THIS LADY!! i totally schooled henri with my incredibly viscious shooting skills.

not only do i get the pride from winning, i also get a nice backside view of the big buck hunter girl. best game everrrrr.

ok, but who am i kidding. you don’t go to D&B’s to play video games! you go there to WIN TICKETS AND EARN FABULOUS PRIZES!!!!

there are many pathways to tickets. the most common, obvs, is skee ball.

however, i prefer to take my chances with the games that will just give you a ticket for, like, playing. for example, i won 60 tickets just for spinning this wheel!!!! it was like wheel of fortune without the spelling! or the trying!

you can also win tickets by engaging in a little healthy competition via horse racing, everyone’s favorite old school gambling addiction!

honestly, i love that they still carry this game, cos it’s sooo low-tech and rickety. you have to roll yr ball into the “run” holes (as opposed to the slower “trot” or the interminable “walk”), and then yr horse moves, say, two inches while you wait for yr ball to return, which takes FOREVER. and the best part is that the techonological “update” is a screen with a REALLY PERKY blonde lady who tells you how to play and then excitedly shrieks, “HURRY! HURRY! THE RACE IS ALMOST STARTING! OK GO!”

i miss the sweaty high school workers at astroworld who didn’t give a crap unless you had big boobs (the “adventureland” trailer provides a great illustration).

but, out of all of these games, my top favorite was the jumpin’ jackpot. first of all, the name. i really want to start saying, “jumpin’ jackpot!” as a replacement for “holy crap!” second, you have to JUMP to earn tickets!! see, this light moves around a circle, and when it gets near yr feet (like a jump rope), you have to hop off of the floor pad. every time you successfully jump, you earn a letter to spell out “jackpot” (and if you finish the word, you WIN BIG). sounds easy, but the light speeds up and it gets OUT OF CONTROL. in fact, i’m preeeeetty sure the game is unbeatable, sort of like that gelatinous cube game in “wayne’s world.”

but MAN is it addictive. even though i didn’t actually hit the jackpot, i got RIGHT to the “t,” so i still won lots of tickets. plus hello bragging rights!!!!!

henri and i combined our tickets in my purse, and i ended up carrying around some *serious dough.*

that’s, like, enough to pay a hit man!

this brings me to the highlight of visiting dave & buster’s: cashing in yr tickets and getting some shizz!!!! and i mean shizz, cos you have to earn, like, 5ooo tickets before the prizes start getting good (i.e. wii games, disco balls, light up swords). you’d think that, since D&B is for adults, they wouldn’t get away with the whole “we’ll give you this ten cent plastic bracelet after you’ve put $10 in our machines!” scam, but they SO do.

using our pooled tickets, henri and i bought ourselves some v. v. elegant D&B shot glasses, plus one for the birthday girl, erica!

oh yeah, and some tiny rubber frogs. cos we had some tickets left over, and they were the cheapest thing.

obvs, it was totally the high quality, extremely mature present erica was expecting for her 30th birthday. which makes sense… cos if anything, our experience completely validated my high school intuition:

dave and busters is *definitely* where professional people go to have fun.

p.s. new 2009 resolution: DEFEAT JUMPIN’ JACKPOT.

© 2009 Poshdeluxe.