alamoing

vampire prom: the best night of my eternal life

i would like to begin this post with a vampire joke:

Q: why wasn’t the vampire working?

A: he was on his coffin break!!!

now that i’ve set yr expecations for the humor in today’s entry, i’d like to tell you about my extremly sucky (what? i warned you!) night at the alamo’s vampire prom. in celebration of “twilight” and “let the right one in” (a really amazing film, btw), the alamo hosted a demonic extravaganza of dining and dancing.

given my love for buffy and the paleness of my skin, there was no WAY i was going to miss out on this event.

i’d like to point out that while erica’s natural coloring seeps through her make-up, my face actually matches my real skin tone. in fact, a random girl actually touched my skin to see if i was *wearing* make-up. i told her yes and then reminded her that even vampires have a need for personal space, hello!

also, my fellow cougars will no doubt recognize that i am, in fact, wearing my prom dress from high school.

no seriously, i wore a purple combination of goth and renfest TO MY HIGH SCHOOL PROM.

which is both embarrassing and, for this event, incredibly useful.

tommy and erica weren’t lucky enough to have gothic prom dresses, so they opted for sleek and sexy (and, obviously, the requisite white face paint).

the prom was held at the salvation army space, the same location of the james bond casino party, and yet the alamo staff did a FANGTASTIC job at transforming it into a dark, nightmareish partyscape.

there were severed limbs!

glowing demons from hell!

and, taking a note from josh and erica’s wedding, apple centerpieces!

i admit, we were tempted to play a round of roulette, but the preservation of our white foreheads took precedence.

henri, as the host of the party, looked incredibly dashing and undead. i am so lucky to be his ghoulfriend!

i was aiming for a druisilla face, but i think i fell short by a a few notches of crazy.

after enjoying their performance at the wedding, henri asked benji if the fatal attractions (the 80s cover band) would play at the prom. lucky for us, they agreed!

yes, that is benji. and no, i’m not sure if he’s a spanish vampire, or a grandma vampire, or what. but i do know that he looked AWESOME.

after admiring our surroundings, we sat down for a tasty vampire meal! which was not, in fact, blood, cos that is gross. instead, we ate spaghetti and cobbler, which are both red and therefore can look creepy if eaten while wearing vampire make-up.

dinner made me realize that, as much as i think vampires are cool, i could never be one, cos hello, an eternity without mac ‘n’ cheese?!! WHAAAA.

more and more people began to arrive and pose under the arch of black balloons (nice touch). tim opted to go as edward-in-the-sunlight, which, if you haven’t read “twlight,” means that his skin looks like diamonds.

given the weird looks that tim got all night, i’m guessing a lot of people there hadn’t read twilight.

bianca showed up with totally cool red contacts, which i seriously coveted:

so, there were folks like me, sporting white face paint and heavy eyeliner, and then there were the Really Serious Vampires. like, the kind of people who might actually think they *are* vampires.

yeah, don’t stare too long into her eyes or you will suffer DEATH BY HEEBIE JEEBIES!!!

these people actually kinda sorta scared me.

fortunately, we were all able to peacefully comingle, and as soon a the band started up, the dance party began!

Q: what’s a vampire’s favorite dance?

A: the fangdango!!

the dance floor was packed with every type of vampire imaginable!

you had yr renfest vamps…

yr fetish/kinda naked vamps…

yr retro lady vamps…

yr gothic anime vamps…

yr hipster vamps…

yr suave lothario vamp…

and even a tall skinny slash vamp!

ok, well, maybe he wasn’t trying to be slash, but i don’t care. that is totaly slash’s hat.

but my hands down favorite of the evening was ancient demon creature vamp, with retractable wings!

and yes, there was a portrait staging area, just like prom! except with headstones and a coffin!

halfway through the evening, it was time for the selection of the king and queen! henri asked all of the candidates to line up on the stage, and i realized that the competition was WAY more fierce than it was in high school. also, this time, i cared.

i’m kicking myself for not taking a panoramic shot of everyone, but i think my camera couldn’t handle the combined horror/awesomeness.

i especially liked the blonde couple, because not only were they ridiculously good looking but…

they also had fang veneers! because this guy is a dentist!!! i’m not even kidding!

after careful delibration, the audience selected the demon vampire as the king!

which made nosferatu V. ANGRY… until he realized that he had been chosen as well!

both demons accepted their crowns with grace and elegance and absolutely no tears.

and then, as is customary, the king(s) and queen danced together!

see, vampires and humans aren’t that different! they both love dancing! and winning things! and wearing crowns!

vampires even primp in the bathroom, just like us!

btw HELLO DEFINITIVE EVIDENCE THAT VAMPIRES CAN SEE THEIR REFLECTIONS! FINALLY!

i returned to the dance floor and discovered henri seeking to make a confession to this friendly priest.

like all pants world dance parties, things got CRAY CRAY. except there were vampires involved, so the crayness was a little more, uh, bloodthirsty than usual.

honestly, i think i had even more fun at the vampire prom than i did at my real high school prom. that’s probably cos vampires are WAY more fun than cheerleaders.

i have to end this post with a picture i took in the parking lot, after tommy eagerly (yet shyly) asked the demon vampire if he could pose for a picture.

yep, i think that says it all.

and even though i’m sad that the prom is over, thankfully there is a holiday just around the corner: FANGSGIVING!!!

muhahaha.

LINKS

squee!! sesame street has their own parody of “30 rock”!

the bush girls gave a tour of the white house to the obama girls. PRESIDENTIAL CUTENESS!!!!

did you guys see a colbert christmas?

if you’re not a fan of twinkies, you will particularly enjoy cakespy’s “fifty ways to kill a twinkie.” strangely, i actually like twinkies, and this entry made me hungry. so, either way, hostess murder is fun!

© 2008 Poshdeluxe.