(extra)ordinary
the great birthday dinner debate
in case you missed it, yesterday henri sent me a slate article arguing for the abolishment of “the birthday dinner”:
Seems like a nice idea, the birthday dinner. It is not. It is a tedious, wretched affair. It is also an extravagantly expensive one. In these wintry economic times, we need to scale back. I hereby propose that the birthday dinner go the way of the $4 cup of coffee, the liar’s mortgage, and the midsize banking institution.
if you haven’t read it yet, read it! cos that’s what we’re talking about today, yo! be prepared!
ok, ok, here’s the cliffs notes version for you slackers:
basically, the author points to the hefty bill and awkward seating arrangement as the two main reasons why, from now on, he will decline any and all birthday dinner invitations.
if you do, however, find yrself at a birthday dinner with a big group, he guides you through three possible strategies:
1. sneakily get yr own check.
2. order as cheaply as possible and pray that other people follow yr lead.
3. order as extravagantly as possible cos you know other people will and you’ll end up subsidizing their meal anyway.
obviously, none of these strategies are ideal, which is why he’s decided ix-nay on the birthday dinners.
so, let’s move on to the opinions of pants world. what’s yr take on this issue? is it influencing yr vote in the upcoming election?
i have to say, i found this article to be double true, except for the part about people just splitting the check equally, cos that never happens when you’re in my income bracket.
don’t get me wrong, I LOVE CELEBRATING BIRTHDAYS!! i want my friends to feel special and loved!! but i have experienced far too many dinners (not all, obvs, but a lot), much like the example in the article, where i’m miles away from the birthday girl/boy and end up with a totally massive bill because a) it’s a fancy restaurant or b) some people didn’t put enough money down (WORLDWIDE PET PEEVE).
and i think it’s even worse from the birthday pants perspective! if friends are more than one table-length away from you, it’s hard to hold a conversation without being REALLY LOUD. not to mention the *immense* amount of birthday time you waste while waiting for people to figure out the dang check already.
and so i propose that we enter a new rule into ye olde pants world books: NO MORE BIG BIRTHDAY DINNERS.
me and jessica, at the last birthday dinner i will ever have, in 2007. you can tell jessica’s already calculating how much she’ll have to overpay.
i’m kind of in love with this rule, cos it just means we’ll all have to be more creative with our birthdays! and hopefully, it will promote more peace in our society, which is the purpose of laws.
but for real, i’m supporting this proposal precisely *because* i love birthdays so much and want to interact with my friends on their special day (and mine) as much as possible. parties! field days! scavenger hunts! dancing! moonwalks! picnics! the zoo!
who’s with me?!!!
p.s. this post made me realize that i don’t know the other laws of pants world. or if they exist. but never fear, there will be a post about that v. soon…
p.p.s. you guys know i’m turning 30 next year, right? so this post is particularly appropriate cos my celebration is gonna be BIG BUSINESS (and, in case i didn’t just make it clear in this entry, i’m going dinner-less!).
LINKS
WOW. some french kids made a SINGLE SHOT, extremely complicated video to THE ENTIRE THRILLER SONG. a-mazing. and they look like they’re having the best time!!!
jodi sent me this link and asked: “best/worst costume ever?” it’s a little girl dressed up as gallagher, i.e. i’m gonna go with BEST.
according to jon stewart, the palin family is just a bunch of grifters!
screw reese’s peanut butter cups (and you KNOW i don’t say that lightly!!); i want a dean & deluca halloween!
so, is it, like, a hollywood rule that every four years, there has to be a movie about an adult becoming a kid/teen again? case in point: “17 again.” wtf?! at any rate, it’s a good excuse for a funny post on vulture.
whoah, this woman has a rare condition that allows her to write things on her body simply by using her fingernail. this really would’ve come in handy for that memento dude.
architectural optical illusions = my brain just melted.
check out this fascinating list of cemeteries in parking lots.
Discussion
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When you said the girl looked like a “gallagher”, I was hoping it would be Liam or Noel..
now that would have been funny…and creepy!
What about a Birthday Potluck, but not like bring potato salad — no, like Iron Chef competition with the Birthday girl as judge?
Categories for Most Yum, Most Creative, etc. 
Yeah, I read that article and was like “yessss.” A fine whine indeed. The other thing that happens at huge birthday dinners: you get a reservation at 8. You tell people to be there at 7:45. Inevitably one person rolls in at 8:40, and everyone else is just waiting to eat and the waiter is giving you nasty looks.
Honestly, I never understood birthday dinners. I have always hated them. But then, where I come from, you just tell your friends which pub you’ll be at and they turn up. This year was the first time I put any modicum of effort into my birthday whatsoever.
But dinners never made sense to me. FIrst of all, you have the issue of who gets invited and who doesn’t. Potential drama. Secondly, it just delays you from the real business of getting down with the birthday celebrations. And thirdly, it’s not Lala’s.
Maybe that’s the answer….. a birthday dinner being cheeseburgers at Lala’s!!!
I agree. I don’t like bday dinners for all the reasons everybody has already listed.
But pot-luck birthday dinners in the comfort, tip-free environment of someone’s home…I am all for that! Especially if the pot-luck is themed. Yup.
That Thriller video was incredible. AND, you’re exactly right, it looks like they had the most fun ever shooting the thing.
I’m only down with birthday dinners if they can be more intimate and not a large group of people. You know, a close friends thing. If there’s going to be more than eight people, then a restaurant is NOT where you celebrate someone’s birthday.
I confess that I don’t think I’ve ever encountered a birthday dinner such as the one described in the article. I think I’ve always been blessed to be in groups with people who tacitly agree to pay for what they got rather than split everything equally.
I do like enjoying a nice celebratory meal with a small group of friends (like my birthday brunch this year, but I think we split the check by couple so only my husband was paying for mine, and it was a set price buffet with the only cost variable being beverages), but I certainly don’t want to stress out the people that I care about!
Yeah, I propose that birthday dinners may still exist, but there can never be more than six people at a table. If you have more people that want to come out, great – they can have another table.
It’s not like the people on opposite ends of tables talk to each other anyway, and when you’re all at one big table, even the people with the “choice” seats in the middle end up getting dragged from side to side, never really getting to dive into one big conversation.
If, however, you have a big group at many different tables, you’ve accomplished an awesome take over of the whole restaurant, and when the birthday girl’s table starts singing “Happy Birthday”, people all over the restaurant will chime in, and it will be this fun little birthday flashmob moment.
And then after dinner, when everyone meets up at a pub or goes dancing or whatever, you’ll all be able to share the tidbits of fun conversation that came from the other table you were at.
There are, of course, ways to have an exception to this Pants World Law. The 2007 birthday dinner actually went quite well, even though there was a large group, because we had a group activity that we all participated in – giving Sarah funny presents from BookPeople and reading emails out loud. That forced the whole group to interact as one, which is the only way a big group dinner works that I can think of…
We still do birthday dinners every so often, but then, we don’t have a huge social group either, so that probably plays into it. There’s also always been the “person pays for what person orders” rule in place and that’s always seemed to work. I like the ‘Iron Chef’ potluck idea. Might have to drag that one out at some point.
I can endorse Henri’s “6 person” dinner rule exception. I’ll draft up some binding resolution language and have a contract to all parties by 9 am monday.
I had a successful birthday dinner once (the only birthday dinner I’ve ever hosted)–at Mi Luna. Everyone shared tapas and pitchers of sangria, so the-split-everything-equally rule was fair! (Plus Mi Luna is totally affordable). Also, we all switched chairs every half hour or so and everyone was able to mingle equally. But generally, birthday dinners are a no.
Hmm… several ideas to consider since my birthday is coming up. I’m really enjoying the Iron Chef-esque Potluck.
Also, Mere, we were drunk. Very, very, VERY drunk.
I never celebrate my birthday (except for when Meredith makes me) so I don’t know the pains of hosting a birthday dinner. But I do very much know the pains of going to them (Mi Luna 2007 excluded.). Sarah, I like what you and Henri did this year for your birthdays (even though I couldn’t go!) – Field Day! Also I’m just a fan of anything in which I might receive a participation ribbon.
a friend of mine has done something different when it comes to the bill. when he goes out to lunch with his coworkers (they go to lunch together regularly), they tell the waiter / waitress to take all their credit cards. he/she then selects one credit card with which to pay the bill. it’s credit card roulette. not for the faint of heart.
Oh, I loved the Happy New York Birthday, Sarah! party… I do remember that Debbie Downer guy behind Sarah, though, who was angry that we were taking pictures with a flash. I think he was just jealous that he wasn’t invited. Yeah, I think group dinners are hard, but activities are totally a good idea. Karaoke, groups having drinks, crime spree, uh, never mind!
I agree, birthday dinners can be frustrating! I like Henri’s idea about the six to a table rule.
I’m really late to this, but I would like to say that I think up to 8 people is okay for dinner, but otherwise it’s a nightmare. I liked Henri’s idea about a flashmob at the restaurant tho. And I recently had an event that several people came late to, and the waiter was doing this angry thing, and so I’m a bit over the whole idea of groups at places where you have to make a reservation.
But then again, two years ago I had a great birthday at a probably-otherwise-boring club in London and I wouldn’t have thought that would be okay either. So who knows?