voyages

unique new york: thrash metal horror, reunion brunching and stephen colbert

as you may have surmised from yesterday’s entry,  henri and i were in NYC over the weekend to attend the new yorker festival.

well, that was our official reason.

really, we were in NYC to see our friends.

ok, well, yeah, and really we were there to eat some tasty business, like THIS!

it’s difficult to tell from the picture, but this is a sushi roll made with an outer layer of banana. BANANA. it is called the paradise roll, which, my friends, is not just a clever name.

after henri and i arrived on friday night, our friends meredith and kiley (you know, the ones who got married in mexico!) took us to “ten,” a sushi place in their neighborhood, park slope. it was DIVINE. i’ve never had sushi served with centerpieces of glowing light (see yesterday’s picture of the “green lady roll”) but from now on, it’s a requirement.

in fact, i’ve decided that ALL FOOD should be served with a glow sticks/neon ice cubes nestled in the center, cos then you know that the food is *totally prepared* for the party that is about to happen in yr mouth/tummy. like a food rave! in my belly!

anyway!

we met up with some other folks for a pub crawl, which turned into all kinds of amazing on our second stop, a place called “lucky 13.”

now, when you see a name like, “lucky 13,” what kind of images come to mind? a billiards place? a rat pack atmosphere? vince vaughn when he was skinny and kinda handsome in “swingers”?

ok, ok, but what about THRASH METAL? oh and HORROR FILMS?

cos, OBVIOUSLY, lucky 13 is a horror movie thrash metal bar!

which means it was TOTALLY MY FAVORITE BAR. EVER. i seriously felt like i was at gasworks from “wayne’s world,” except lucky 13 didn’t have a pool table, too.

the long-haired goth headbanger clientele were obviously the best part, but (yes, there’s more!) my second favorite thing was the bar-top pole, complete with a dead-eyed, scantily clad girl dancing lazily to the (non-existent) beat of hardcore metal.

seriously, only in new york.

(you can see the pole girl behind kiley’s head)

the next morning, henri and i took the subway to fort green (brooklyn) for a brunch hosted by the always delightful, outrageously charming ryan and his boyfriend, bryan!

let me just say, these boys know how to do brunch. just check out the table setting!!!!!

this table is, like, straight out of a martha stewart magazine. except ryan is way more fun than martha, plus he’s never been to prison.

the table was just the tip of the williams sonoma iceberg, cos bryan and ryan’s apartment is gorgeous! and full of little quirky details, like the peephole on their door:

their walls are covered with beautiful art (much of it bryan’s), including my favorite art de pants!

note brian’s drawings on the wall… his explanation: “well, i didn’t have any paper that day.”

did i mention that these boys are amazing cooks? and that they had gone to the farmer’s market early that morning just to buys us fresh, local fruits and veggies to consume?!

you might be wondering, “are they actually that perfect?”

yes, yes they are.

brunch was basically a reunion with my favorite, faraway rice people– ryan, of course, and then… mr. blinky pants!

mr. blinky pants is the brother of oat, who rules over the land of cuddles from his throne, which is my futon. back in (late) college, ryan developed a deep friendship with oat (who was a gift from seth e.) and so when ryan moved to new york for grad school, i made mr. blinky pants to keep him company!

i hadn’t seen mr. blinky pants in AGES, but i could tell that he had been well cuddled by both ryan and brian. oat will be glad to hear that.

guess who else i had a reunion with?

miss amber g., straight outta london!

and that’s her boyfriend, ben, who i had never met before but i gave him a hug right away cos i could tell by the company he keeps that he’s good people.

did i mention that brunch was divine? cos it was.

i made everyone take a picture on the stoop outside so that i could frame it for my apartment. or maybe pitch a new “late twentysomething/early thirtysomething” drama to some TV execs.

seriously! frameable! my heart bursts with squee when i look at this picture.

following our lovely brunch, amber, ben, henri and i took the train into the city for our first new yorker festival event, located in this gorgeous old cathedral:

one of my favorite aspects of the festival is that the events are spread all over the city, which gives me the chance to discover new neighborhoods. unfortunately, none of our events were in the upper west side, which means i didn’t see any “gossip girl” cast members. SIGH. however, at one point, henri and i were in a cab behind the hampton jitney, which is where dan and serena made out in the bathroom, so maybe that counts for something.

anyway, our first event was a panel on political humor, which included the daily show’s samantha bee (LOVE HER); allison silverman, who produces the colbert report; todd hanson, a guy from the onion who doesn’t know when to shut up; andy borowitz, who writes a funny political blog; and james downey, who has been writing for SNL for 30 years (!!!!!!). i was most interested to hear from samantha bee, who talked about how hard it can be for her to stay “in character” when she’s interviewing people she wants to throttle (such as during her hilarious/painful exploration of how republicans refuse to say the word “choice”). james downey, the SNL guy, was seriously like a piece of living history… it blew my mind to watch clips from SNL, from chevy chase to phil hartman to will ferrell, and realize that he’d worked with ALL of them. incredible.

if you’re interested, there’s a detailed write-up here.

the next event was the most exciting (and, unsurprisingly, the most fantastic): an interview with stephen colbert!!! as himself, i.e. not in character!!!

we waited in line for over an hour just to get good seats, which totally paid off; from the third row, it felt like stephen colbert and i were just hanging out in somebody’s (large) living room, having a little chat like old friends! we’re totally besties now! his wife was sitting on the first row, and he kept referring things to her, like, “remember when that happened?” and “do you remember what i said after that?” so that it felt like a v. real, intimate conversation.

note the cufflinks. CLASSY.

you can actually read a great write-up of the interview here (on the blog where i got the above picture).

one of my favorites stories was about how he and jon stewart met. basically, there was a press conference announcing jon as the new host, so stephen decided that the daily show, as a news show, needed to cover it. he attended the press conference as a member of the press, and this is how the exchange went after he stood up to ask a question (keep in mind, they had never ever met before):

stephen: stephen colbert, daily show. mr. stewart, i was under the impression that i am being considered for the host position on the daily show. does your appointment hurt my chances?

jon, turning to the president of comedy central: you told me this guy wasn’t funny!

and that’s how they met!

he also talked about how his wife was upset after the episode when jane fonda jumped into his lap and started nibbling his ear. the best part is that his wife wasn’t upset about the flirting, she was mad about the fact that stephen let someone else take over his show! of course, his reply was: “i had to break character. because my character would’ve just taken jane fonda right there, on top of the desk. and i couldn’t do it.”

so yeah, lots of awesome stories like that. he is just SO AMAZING! AND SMART! AND FUNNY! AND GAHH i want to HUG HIM!!!!! I LOVE YOU STEPHEN COLBERT!!!

after the awesomeness of that interview, there was nowhere else to go but down. which is where we went. down.. down… DOWN.

see, we bought tickets for an interview with mary louise parker, who i LOVE. but we didn’t have a choice over her interviewer, a new yorker writer who apparently doesn’t understand what “acting” is.

no i’m serious.

first of all, this guy obviously had NO CLUE who mary louise parker was, so he did all this research he was really proud of and wanted to show off to the audience. this meant that the interview started off with him asking about her amazing work in… “fried green tomatoes.”

you GUYS. that movie is like 20 years old!! everyone was there to talk about “weeds,” not her ground-breaking work in “the client”!!

and it got WORSE.

so, do you remember that sketch on SNL, “the chris farley show,” when chris farley would interview, say, paul mccartney, and ask questions like, “so… do you remember that time that you, like, made that album, sgt. pepper? yeah… that was AWESOME.”

basically, the mary louise parker interview was just like that. here’s an example:

dumb interviewer: so, there’s that scene in ‘the client’ when you just get so *angry.* how did you do that?

visibly perturbed MLP: uh, well, it’s acting. i was acting.

dumb interviewer: fantastic, fantastic.

I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP. IT WAS TERRIBLE.

fortunately, henri and i were able to end the night with some hot spiced whiskeys (mmm!!) in the company of amber and ben, who actually understand how to make conversation.

oh, and at the bar, we ran into jason schwartzman! and fiona apple!

which GAH is REALLY ANNOYING COS DUDE, i’ve already seen both of them in austin! new celebrities! please! NYC, you can totally do better than this.

TO BE CONTINUED! TOMORROW!

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