1) From my first history class, I discovered that I didn’t have to be a scientist to be intellectually turned on. That shift has completely defined my professional life ever since.

2) From the misery of my freshman roommate situation, I learned an important life coping skill, courtesy of my mom: figure out what you can’t change about a bad situation, and then let it go as you focus on changing what you can instead. When I’m having a difficult moment, even now, I’ll make a list of what’s not working…and then start carving away at the parts that I can change.

3) And above all, from a series of wonderful coincidences (or not-so-coincidences) I met you and Seth and an entire group of people who made me want the life I could have at Rice. After considering a transfer, I decided to stay instead. One of the best decisions ever.

However, I wouldn’t want to relive freshman year. I basically survived under the pastel blankie on your bed, right? No need to repeat.

Advice for freshmen. Well, I might actually echo Olivia’s sentiments. I had a pretty hard freshmen year as well, though maybe for different reasons. The school I went to had this whole “ring by spring” thing. Like if you weren’t engaged or married by the end of your college career you somehow did not have a successful college experience. That mindset actually could have been partially responsible for a few marriages of some college friends that ended up in divorce. On the other hand I started dating Brian when I was 18 – but I think maybe we were the exception more than the rule. And I didn’t actually meet him at the college I was attending.

I really only had a freshmen year of college. I discovered it wasn’t for me and didn’t go back the next year. If your college/young adult years are all about growing up and discovering who you are, then I think you need to not be afraid to make mistakes. If you get through your first year of college and hated it? Don’t feel like a failure for wanting to try something else. I ended up taking a year off just to work 2 jobs and figure out what I wanted to do, then ended up going to massage therapy school. I did that for several years, also working part-time in coffee shops once I moved to Colorado. Now I don’t do massage therapy at all, but I manage a coffee shop and have aspirations of owning my own coffee shop/rock club someday (which one of my college roommates remembers me mentioning wanting to do even back then.) Sometimes life takes you on a path you wouldn’t have expected. You just have to be open to new experiences.

I guess that pretty much sums it up. Be open to new experiences, and don’t feel like a failure if some of those experiences don’t turn out the way you thought or wanted. I think that’s what self discovery is all about.

My grades ended up being kinda iffy, but I had some amazing late-night conversations, tried to be more emotionally available in friendships, questioned almost everything I’d believed, and, yes, made good friends (and some lame ones). At the end of the year, I realized I wasn’t happy, made lots of lists about why that was, and totally changed my approach to college, incorporating lots of the advice that is here (all new classes, doing what I want, being more chill about partying, trying not to care so much about what boys talked to me at parties, etc.). But I think freshman year for lots of students is a train wreck and messy, but that it HAS to be like that. It’s exhausting to be on your own, and to live with people who aren’t your family, and on top of everything, you’re still going through late adolescent hormone swings and awkwardness, etc. It’s hard, but kind of hilarious, and definitely educational.

I think my advice would be to be yourself, but that it will be hard to figure out what that means your freshman year (and it always will be, probably). But it will be the first time you have all this freedom, so being yourself will maybe be more confusing than at other times.

And I’d recommend listening to yourself when you think you’re making a mistake, even if you continue to go on and make that mistake. At least you can tell yourself later you knew it was a bad idea–that has to count for something, if only reassuring yourself you should listen to that voice later.

I’m rambling. But lately overall I am thinking that my whole motto on how people should live is: be nicer and more rational. I think it would solve most problems at the personal, local, state, national and world level. So it’s my advice to freshmen too; try to be kinda rational (but you’ll have to come up with your own definition and system), and be nice. Don’t get a big head because you’re cool for the first time, or because you’re having a hard time, etc. Other people are human, too, so treat them like it.

1. Get involved in stuff that you like. In High school you had to do really lame crap for the same of your application, like Spanish Honor Society and the literary magazine and Junior Achievement. Now that you’re in college, you don’t have pretend you like those things. If you really love playing frisbee, there’s a club for that and you should join it.

2. Same thing for political organizations. Maybe it’s time to take part in your first futile protest, to start ridding you of unrealistic idealism at a good age.

3. Go to parties. You may not have done this in high school, especially if you’re from my world. Dork world. But do it. Don’t try to be anybody, just go with a friend, have some drinks, and meet some strangers. Feel free to hook up. It’s educational and encouraged.

4. Classes. Take some, see if you can graduate in four years even. It’ll make your parents happy. Heed Henri’s advice about the importance of your major. You may find it hard to believe, but it’s not the end of the world if you major in english with a minor in french, instead of majoring in french with a minor in english. In fact, it doesn’t matter. At all. Major in paint by numbers art, it’s all good.

5. Independence. Your parents may want you to go to school close to home, or come home every weekend. Don’t. This is the time for you to see how it is to live your life the way you want to live it. Also, try to avoid taking an allowance from them, because money never comes for free. Many times, the catch is that they will expect you to major in the things they want you to major in and get the grades they think you should get. A part time job is a good way to avoid this. It might also mean not taking a car from them. Easier said than done, I know.

I guess I should have stated to not let those romantic relationships dominate your life to an extent where you can’t enjoy your first year of college. Sure, it might be fun then, but it would have been a whole lot more meaningful had I let other friendships develop while in the romantic relationship.

Someone mentioned that college is a time for sexual self-discovery. It is; but it is also a time for romance self-discovery. One needs experience at both in order to grow up.

it’s fascinating to see what you all consider yr important lessons (and mistakes). now i just wish i could get the freshmen to take yr words to heart!

2) Don’t mix vodka with Dr. Pepper. It’s really gross.

3) Take your prom picture off your bookshelf now. It won’t be there by the end of the year anyway.

4) Don’t worry about getting the classes you want during registration. Add/Drop period is a beautiful thing, and if you just start going to classes and charm the teacher, you can get your way into anything, even that elusive creative writing course that always fills up within the first ten minutes of registration.

5) Don’t worry about dropping classes. It’s fun, and nothing feels better than the first day you don’t have to go to that stupid 8am government course.

6) For 85% of you, your diploma will ultimately be meaningless

7) If you’re in Liberal Arts, that number rises to 98%.
Do move into the co-ops, they’re great fun, and you get to experience west campus without joining a frat or sorority. But move out of the co-op again before you become a full blown hippie.

9) Don’t grow a really long goatee.

Also, don’t overload yourself. And don’t freak out if you don’t have your 5 year plan in sight, just do things that interest and always ask questions, like ” I love doing such and such, now how do I make a career out of it”. If I had done that when I was 18 instead of 26, I would have saved thousands in student loans.

Which brings me to my last piece of advice: COUNSELING IS OK. If you are feeling out of whack, homesick, anything, go see a college counselor, not your advisor, but a counselor. It’s free. Enjoy the free mental health care while you can and it will help you get over the rough times and maybe on deciding a career. Believe me, DO IT. Otherwise, you could flounder around, wasting too much time and money on a college career you won’t even use.

Also, and this is something I learned by my last year or so of college, I wished I had used my professors’ office hours more. It was so helpful when I eventually started doing that. And I became pretty good friends with some of them, too.