Poshdeluxe

as previously mentioned, i spent last weekend in the DEADLY HEAT of arizona to attend my dear friend jay’s wedding.

even though i saw it with my own eyes, i *still* can’t believe jay is married.

not because he’s horrible person, obviously. in fact, jay’s just the opposite. he’s got a heart of gold, tricked out with a veneer of sarcasm and dripping with attitude. basically, he’s one of the world’s greatest charmers.

no, the reason i can’t believe he’s married is because, when i think about jay, i picture him like this:

jay’s the one on the left, attempting to french boba fett.

i took this picture in the middle of my junior year at rice, when jay, gilbert (on the right) and tim (you guys know tim!!) were zany, adorable, tooootally immature freshmen.

these boys were SO adorable, in fact, that my roommates and i (known as the powersuite) decided to adopt them for our v. own, kind of like puppies but with the ability to hold a conversation (well, sometimes). these three little freshmen, along with andrew (you’ll see him later), eventually earned the nickname “the powersuite boys” (clever!), and quickly became fixtures in our room, even when they moved into their own room down the hall for their sophomore year.

jay was the kind of student rice LOVES to cultivate– a chemistry whiz from small town, texas. he loved girls and punk rock music, and one of my favorite memories of him is the time we dyed our hair pink together. i wanted to keep the top layer of my hair au natural, and jay just wanted his tips done.

careful examination of this picture reveals who DOESN’T have a future in the hair care industry.

(”sarah, i said the TIPS!! NOT MY WHOLE HEAD. GAH. this looks so gay.”)

it’s hard to believe, but i haven’t seen jay in four years (really, that can’t be possible). so you can imagine i was DYING WITH EXCITEMENT over his nuptials and the opportunity to reunite with some of my favorite rice pantsers.

friday night, we all met up at the home of stephanie’s (jay’s now wife) parents’ house for some BBQ and much-needed catching up. jay just graduated from cornell with his PhD in chemistry (seriously) and so we gave his doctoral defense (ha ha i don’t even know if that’s what you call it) a careful review.

from left to right: gilbert, jay, ray, tim and andrew

it was SO GOOD to see jay’s face!!!! he looks a little older, but i was relieved to find the v. same jay that i adored back at rice.

and look who he thanked at the beginning of his book!!!!!

YES. i am totally academic now.

jay may be a little older, but he still makes the same dumb faces when he sees a camera. it’s all part of the charm, ladies.

yes, that IS a cupcake. and there’s more where that came from, cos jay loves me. you’ll see!

after the dinner, we headed back to the hotel to share embarrassing jay stories, mostly involving girls (poor gilbert, i.e. jay’s freshman year roommate) and, well, girls.

i swear, it felt like we were back on the “burger king” (or TPCCOTL) couch in the powersuite, laughing our pants off and being ridiculous. it’s like nothing had changed, not even tim’s bad smelling feet.

the next morning, we started our day in the most perfect way imaginable– breakfast at chic-fil-a!

those fine ladies on the left are danny and rachel, btw.

the cashier guy said, “you guys are eating *here*? before a wedding?”

uh, where else would we eat?!! IHOP? please. this is an IMPORTANT DAY.

isn’t danny the cutest? it was so good to see her. and tim knows how to satisfy flossie so well.

the ceremony was held at this gorgeous catholic church:

we got to sneak into the “groom’s area” before the wedding, which was exciting! jay was cool as cucumber, of course. and then i got to pin roses on the guys, which made me feel all kinds of special.

btw gilbert and i are totally going to prom together. esp. cos my dress already matches his vest and tie. i didn’t even PLAN THAT!!!

the ceremony began, and when stephanie walked down the aisle, jay teared up and all of us let out a collective (whispered) SQUEE.

also, the priest forgot stephanie’s name. AND he wrote a “special message” for them that was full of amazingly bad chemistry references. like, ” we already know that you two have CHEMISTRY together” and “however, PERIODICALLY, you may encounter challenges.” i grabbed tim’s leg so hard that i think i gave him bruises but WOW. AMAZING.

after the ceremony, the photographers TOOK OVER and forced the wedding party into a world of awkward poses. you guys think i’m bad? you have no idea.

in that picture, they’re signing the marriage certificate… with MY PEN! they didn’t have a pen, so i pulled out this plastic OBGYN pen i keep in my purse. but that sort fits with the theme, right? also note ray, who is already exhausted from endless posing.

in this incredibly artistic shot, stephanie holds the certificate over jay’s shoulder while making an “OK!” or “gotcha!” finger sign, as demonstrated by the photographer.

see? the girls are about to throw their bouquets! doesn’t that look natural? of course it does!

in spite of the photographer’s maniacal posing plans, i managed to get a few “realistic” shots. this one is my favorite:

yep, those are the boys i knew at rice. and still know, thank heavens.

in addition to my rice friends, it was wonderful to see jay’s parents again. they are incredibly sweet and super texas (yes, jay’s dad wore boots to the wedding AND he brought shiner to the bbq dinner).

we finally made it over to the reception, held at the neighborhood club of the sprawling sun city neighborhood where stephanie’s family lives.

and you know how i matched the vest and ties on the guys? well, guess what. this wedding was OBVIOUSLY designed for me, cos I EVEN MATCHED THE TABLECLOTHS. AND THE NAPKINS.

oh jay, you know how to make a girl feel at home.

not only was there lots of pink, but there was also lots of cuteness!!!

and also LOTS OF CUPCAKES!!!!

yeah, whoever said that cupcakes don’t grow on trees is a big, fat liar.

c’mere, cupcake. i manna eachoo!!!!

seriously, was this wedding made for me or what?

i asked (forced) jay’s grandmother take a picture with me, because i love her so much. the first thing she said to me on friday night was, “i’ve had a picture of you and jay on my fridge since he graduated from rice. but then people asked me if you were his fiancee, so i had to take it down.” ha ha. i love you, grandma!

as if the hour of awkward posing wasn’t enough to impress jay, the photographers whipped up a little surprise for him and stephanie, mere minutes after the photos were taken!

yes, that is a keychain. and yes, jay’s eyes are only halfway open.

BEST WEDDING MEMENTO, EVER.

we all wanted one, actually.

of course, we had to take “the rice picture” for the alumni magazine (the sallyport), even though, like 80% of the other rice weddings i’ve been to, it will never actually be submitted.

and, for all of you weissman out there, we did, in fact, ubangee jay. for the non-weissman, a ubangee is when you get in a big pile on top of someone and make grunting noises that slowly increase in volume and frequency then end with three cheers of “team weiss!”

yeah, it’s kind of hard to describe without making it sound ridiculous. which it is.

speaking of ridiculous, check out tim and ray, soaking up water from the misters like dogs in a sprinkler.

since i love weddings AND am really good at attending them, i’ve decided to make a brochure advertising myself as the perfect guest. i think i’ll put this picture on the front:

don’t you want us at yr wedding? YES YOU DO!

we took a short break to change after the reception, then drove BACK to stephanie’s family house for a light dinner. there’s a street in the neighborhood called “el mirage,” which, when we first passed it on friday, induced the following conversation:

tim: i think we took a wrong turn, cos now we’re on el mira-hey.

andrew: el mira-hey? uh, i think you mean MIRAGE.

so of course we had to stop on saturday and take a picture.

we ALSO had to stop at the neighborhood’s entrance, which was so pretentious that it was practically BEGGING for someone to climb up and pose on it.

ray, i totally think you have a future career in suburb modeling.

after dinner, there was plenty of shiner left, so we took it back to the hotel for our POOL PARTY!

POOL PARTY!

oh man, i love night pool parties. esp. due to my vampiric skin.

we splashed around for a while and eventually begged andrew and gilbert (who weren’t swimming) to get us some food from the in and out burger down the street. i asked for chili cheese fries.

BUT

what i GOT was the DISGUSTING concoction known as “animal fries”: fries with cheese and, wait for it, THOUSAND ISLAND DRESSING GAAAHH GROSSSSSSS.

you guys, they were so nasty. i know because I ATE THEM! I CAN’T BELIEVE I ATE THEM!

tim couldn’t believe it either.

ray, per usual, was in fine form that evening. i can always rely on him to provide me with amusing photographs, no matter the time or place. he’s like my old faithful.

while ray excels at looking jackassic, danny is always 100% adorable. it’s like, her genetic structure.

also, i love this photo.

the next morning, ray, tim and i wrapped up the weekend with brunch, including THE LARGEST CINNAMON ROLL EVER NOM NOM NOM.

honestly, it was difficult to say good-bye to everyone as we once again scattered in the wind… who knows the next time i’ll see these faces i love so much?

although the temporary nature of our reunion was bittersweet, i am incredibly thankful that i could be there alongside my friends to celebrate jay– freshman jay, punk jay, pink-haired jay, married jay… all facets of an amazing person that i am proud to know.

happy wedding pants, my dear!

p.s. ray and tim, i hope to see the baby bird in action again soon.

LINKS

you guys, i can’t believe i’m writing this, but paris hilton is sort of… awesome.

vulture compiled a fantastic list of sports they wished were included in the olympics. one word: QUIDDITCH.

SOMETHING I NEED TO TRY IMMEDIATELY: frosting shots. thank you to jodi and cakespy for bringing this important sugar development to my attention.

have you guys heard of the beauty pageant for men? it’s called “manhunt” and no, i am not kidding.