Archive for August, 2008

a day in his pants: the posh deluxe interview with brian behm

Published by
Sarah
August 29, 2008 in day in the pants. 10 Comments

ladies and gentlemen, today i present to you someone that i’ve never actually met! no really!

this is brian. doesn’t he look like he’s ready to be interviewed?!

brian started commenting on le blog a while back, when the alamo blog linked to my write-up of the bbq tour. and he is one of the reasons that i originally decided to conduct these interviews, cos people were like, “who the heck is brian?” and, likewise, he didn’t know who any of you guys were, either!

and now you’re about to learn a whole lot more about him! and i am too! which is why this introduction is now ending, cos i don’t know any more than you do!

ok, brian, let’s start at the beginning, since this is where i always start, cos i’m not v. original. tell me about where you’re from, yr family, any siblings, etc.

I grew up in the suburbs of St. Paul, MN in a little town called Little Canada. Apparently at one point in the late 1800s it had a church steeple that was higher than anything in St. Paul but that’s about the only thing the town is known for. My parents were both teachers though my mom stayed home just after I was born. I thought it was annoying at the time but it was really great having them around during the summers. We’d end up taking long road trips and hang out swimming in the pool and watching videos. I’ve got two sisters that are each just a bit younger than I am.

apparently, your dad has made *quite* the hobby out of recyling cans. please explain.

My dad has been recycling cans well before it was ever cool to recycle. He might be (no, he IS) the only person I’ve ever known who paid for their master’s degree using recycled cans. One of my first jobs was going out with him after the softball games picking up beer cans at the local park. We’d take them home and crush them, counting out the number of cans it takes to get a pound (if you’re curious, it’s around 26). Then, he’d make a hash mark on a set of index cards he’d been keeping since he started out. A couple of years ago he recycled his one millionth can. He still cans and uses the money to golf with his teacher buddies but we used to use the money on baseball cards. To this day I still can’t walk past an empty can in a parking lot without looking at it and feeling the urge to pick it up. It’s kind of a curse.

what sorts of things did you do as a kid? i’ve heard you were a total minnesota twins groupie.

I was really into building things. Legos, Construx (they were these girder like plastic pieces that connected to little plastic connector things which I thought were MUCH cooler then legos at one point in elementary school), wood. It didn’t really matter. I was mesmerized by my Grandpa’s jigsaw. It was the one thing I REALLY wanted when he and my grandma moved into a nursing home. I was also pretty into video games. We eventually got a NES but my dad had decided to invest during the Atari days in this system Sears was pushing called The Intellivision (it was the intelligent television!) and he had seven or eight of these machines stockpiled along with all sorts of games. (if there were going to be a video game apocalypse we were going to be prepared!). Anyway, a group of kids from school would get together almost every Friday night at one of our houses and we’d all bring our various systems. We’d play all night, eat pizza and goof off.

it’s obvious that brian had high hair standards when it came to picking out friends.

Continue reading ‘a day in his pants: the posh deluxe interview with brian behm’

dear diary pants: “oldies but goodies”

Published by
Sarah
August 28, 2008 in dear diary. 8 Comments

in today’s entry, we learn the following about summer school pantser posh deluxe:

1. yes folks, she’s still obsessed with keanu and the movie “speed.”

2. her idea of teenage rebellion is sneaking into a movie (scandalous!).

3. she is trying to become a nicer person.

4. she is, apparently, never satisfied with what she has.

5. she enjoys greeting the month.

6. there are reasons why she and her friends are taking P.E. in summer school.

7. she and her friends have no psychic ability whatsoever.

8. she considers “seventeen” magazine to be a critical source of information.

9. she refers to handsome, older men in a way that i find deeply embarrassing.

10. her nose is stopped up.

6/29/94

Hello, new journal!! Welcome to my handwriting. The last time I wrote on the front page of a journal was in 8th grade! Weird. Well, not very.

Anyway, Se, Becky, Talena & I went to see “Speed” today. *Unfortunately*, the ticket lady wouldn’t let us in unless Mom bought a ticket and watched it with us!! So, we bought tickets for “I Love Trouble” instead. Heh heh heh– yes, that is my rebellious laugh coming out. Once inside the building, we made a plan in the bathroom. Se & I went first. Lucky for us, the “Speed” door was right next to the “I Love Trouble” door, so we *accidentally* walked in the wrong door.

Oh, and I asked this guy (he looked like the manager) about having any useless “Speed” posters lying around. He said that they didn’t give any of their stuff away. It seemed like a recording– I guess he has to say it a lot. Boo-hoo!!! Now I have to worry about that stupid poster until it comes out on video– even then I probably won’t get it. Dad suggested that I write to Twentieth Century Fox and ask them for one. It might just work…

Continue reading ‘dear diary pants: “oldies but goodies”’

the posh deluxe reading club: meeting #3

Published by
Sarah
August 27, 2008 in reading rainbow. 10 Comments

i call this meeting to order! with a stately wooden gavel that exists only on the internet!

you guys, i have a SERIOUS book recommendation for you today. in fact, this book is so intense, i can only read it in small doses! and this isn’t some build up for a joke– i’m serious! this book totally blows my mind! rather, i should say, this WRITER blows my mind.

if you haven’t already met her, please allow me to introduce you to amy hempel:

amy hempel writes short stories. and really, that’s an understatement. her stories might be short in length, but they pack a punch that novelists can only *dream* of creating. in fact, ms. hempel is one of the most masterful wordsmiths i’ve ever come across. she writes the kind of lines that WHALLOP you upside the head, that make you stop to catch yr breath, that SLAY you with understated, bare bones emotion.

it takes most authors pages and pages to create characters and build emotions. amy hempel can do it in two paragraphs.

since i feel completely inadequate about trying to describe her writing, here are some examples:

from a story about a women who has lost her veterinarian husband:

Here’s a trick I found for how to finally get some sleep. I sleep in my husband’s bed. That way the empty bed I look at is my own.

* * *

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how to break the ice without losing yr cool

Published by
Sarah
August 26, 2008 in (extra)ordinary, 9 to 5 and squee!. 25 Comments

ha ha, i know, i’m hilarious.

but you will forgive me in a second cos:

pants world, i have some most excellent news to share with you!

and it has nothing to do with food or hip hop dance or the fact that ryan gosling and rachel mcadams are together (although that is obvs news everyone should be celebrating, cos YAY LOVE!).

I GOT A NEW JOB!!!!!

i did!! i really did!!!

it’s all so exciting!!!

i won’t divulge too many details, since i try to keep my professional life neatly separated from ye blogosphere, but i WILL tell you that i get to work with undergraduate students!! which is what i’ve been really really really wanting to do!!! HOORAY!!!

LET’S HAVE A PARADE!!! seriously!!! let’s all dress up and dance down the street and eat funnel cake!!

anyway, i really am over the moon about it, and i can’t wait to start in two weeks. la la laaaa!

of course, when i tell people the news in person, the second thing they say after “congrats!” is “but wait, what about yr blog?!!”

rest assured, pantsers, that this blog is going NOWHERE! wait, that sounds wrong. what i mean is, of course i’ll keep writing! moreover, my (future) work with student development will most certainly inspire some posts, although obvs i won’t be writing about specific people or anything.

in fact, my new job has inspired today’s entry! and not just cos i wanted to tell you guys. but also cos… i need help!

anyone know any good icebreakers?

no seriously. i need to know. and not just cos i wanted to post this picture of a group known as “the icebreakers,” whom i assume are some kind of tween dance team.

Continue reading ‘how to break the ice without losing yr cool’

brotherhood of the traveling pants 2

Published by
Sarah
August 25, 2008 in cray. 16 Comments

last week, a couple of girlfriends and i drove over to the barton creek mall movie theater to watch “sisterhood of the traveling pants 2,” because we are girlie girls and like to watch movies that make us squee over things like friendship and cute boys even if the movie contains totally impossible plot lines like some girl’s dad having billions of air miles that he wants to give away so that three friends can meet up with their fourth friend in greece to look for a pair of pants.

anyway

my point is that, for us, this is a normal tuesday night type of activity.

and then something really ABNORMAL happened. like, something so crazy, so bizarre, so strange that it defied all explanations.

and no, it’s not the photoshop work on this poster, although it, too, defies all explanations.

a group of four twentysomething guys came into the theater and sat down in our row.

and then, when the opening credits began and they clearly knew that they were about to watch “sisterhood of the traveling pants 2,” THEY STAYED.

they stayed and THEY LOVED IT. they didn’t snicker or make rude comments about getting into a sisterhood’s pants or ANYTHING! in fact, as erica f. can attest, during the finale, one of the guys leaned forward with his hands cradling his chin, elbows on knees, completely lost in the moment.

WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?!!!!!!

Continue reading ‘brotherhood of the traveling pants 2′

a day in her pants: the posh deluxe interview with MSW

Published by
Sarah
August 22, 2008 in day in the pants. 14 Comments

those of you who comment on this blog may have wondered from time to time about a mysterious person known only as msw. is she a spy? a hacker? the child of parents who really love abbreviations?

well, in today’s exclusive interview, HER IDENTITY IS REVEALED!

like, RIGHT NOW! in this picture!!!

hint: her name is on her t-shirt. except the queen part is a lie. unfortunately.

since msw’s name is so unique, she prefers using her initials so that when people google her, they won’t find anything potentially embarrassing. although in her case, the most embarrassing thing i can come up with is that she loans me vampire romantic fiction.

i met msw at wiess college, where we both lived while attending rice university. msw was actually two years ahead of me, but i got to know her a little bit through my orientation week advisor (we call them fellows), emily (also known as EK, which is an actual nickname versus an internet safety precaution).

our friendship didn’t *really* start to form until earlier this year, when msw got a job at UT, and we started Power Lunching (definitely one of my favorite parts about being a working girl). we quickly discovered that we had a lot of favorites in common, from buffy to cupcakes. in fact, if you like baked goods, i *highly* recommend that you make friends with msw. not only does she bake a lot, but she BRINGS TREATS TO MY OFFICE. WITHOUT ME ASKING. it’s actually one of her trademark qualities, as evidenced by the fact that she brought cupcakes to my birthday field day (pictured above).

of course, tasty business isn’t *actually* the main reason i like being friends with msw (but i’m not gonna lie, it’s a perk!). she’s just one of those “heart of gold” people… like, you can feel it the second you meet her. she really *embraces* life, aided by positive nature that is visible from miles away, even in foggy conditions. this girl is constantly finding new passions that she will then exhaustively research until moving on to the next one; moreover, she even loves helping her friends pursue their own interests (she made me a photocopy of an article about coffee makers after we had a discussion about them) and life goals (she reviewed my resume for me). seriously, the woman is a machine! but, like, the huggable kind.

ok, time to stop gushing and get down to business!

Continue reading ‘a day in her pants: the posh deluxe interview with MSW’

dear diary pants: the last page!

Published by
Sarah
August 21, 2008 in dear diary. 7 Comments

in today’s entry, we learn the following about summer-loving, fifteen year old posh d:

1. when she goes to the mall, girlfriend’s got GOALS. in list form.

2. she shops at suncoast. which is amazing.

3. she still buys cassette singles. which is even more amazing.

4. she questions the CD pricing racket of the music industry.

5. her obsession with keanu reeves, rather than fleeting, has deepened to the point where he is appearing in her dreams.

6. she is *personally* invested in the success of “speed.”

7. she sucks at tennis.

8. she’s totally into “monopoly” non sequiturs.

9. she suspects that a massive, disorderly crowd of people will want to read her journal.

6/28/94

Wow! I’m on the last page! I’m kinda proud of myself for keeping up with this journal– I haven’t dropped it like my many past diaries.

Today I got to go to the mall (but only for, like, 30 minutes). Talena came too. I had these goals:

1. Buy Mr. Jones Single

2. Check out/possibly buy Reality Bites soundtrack

3. See if Suncoast has Speed posters

4. Go through magazines in bookstore in search of pictures of Keanu Reeves.

Continue reading ‘dear diary pants: the last page!’

there’s a monster in my closer! FOR REAL!

Published by
Sarah
August 20, 2008 in cray. 13 Comments

YOU GUYS.

the most horrendous thing happened to me on monday night.

i wasn’t going to write about it, because i try to keep this blog devoid of anything serious or evil, but the memories are HAUNTING ME to the point that i must expel them before i become like that lady in the “yellow wallpaper” story, i.e. CA-RAZY.

so, early monday evening, i got home from the gym, took a shower, then walked into my closet to figure out what to wear.  i don’t know about you guys, but every time i walk into my closet, i have to stare at every single item of clothing that i own, as if some new shirt or pair of pants will suddenly materialize that i absolutely HAVE to wear for, you know, a monday night.

anyway, while staring at the “t-shirt” section of my closet, i spied…

GAH i can’t even TYPE THIS.

ok ok ok i saw– I SAW A MASSIVE ROACH. ON MY BLACK SUPER TRACK T-SHIRT.

that is like, my favorite t-shirt, btw. besides the one with the vampiric hamburgers on it.

YOU GUYSSSSSSSSSSSS AUGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH

even though i shrieked, i tried to contain my panic while running to the kitchen to grab a can of raid. except HA HA I DON’T HAVE ANY RAID.

i decided that carpet cleaner would be a good substitute (in a crisis, you have to think fast, people), so i ran back to my closet, clutching the spray bottle and grabbing one of my shoes in case i had the chance to smash the roach on the floor. see? not panicking. NOT PANICKING.

Continue reading ‘there’s a monster in my closer! FOR REAL!’

an open letter to peanut butter

Published by
Sarah
August 19, 2008 in tasty business. 25 Comments

dear peanut butter,

hi! how are you? feeling a little nutty? HA HA HA. anyway.

i just wanted you to know, in case i haven’t previously made it clear, that i love you.

and i’m SURE you get this kind of mail every day, probably by the bagful. but please believe me when i say that i’m not just head over heels for you, i’m head over the MOON in heels for you. in fact, i wish the moon was *made* of you and not just lame-o stinky cheese. then, every night, i could look up at the sky and gaze at yr shining, gooey visage while offering up worshipful prayers of NOM.

since i enjoy yr deliciousness every day, i didn’t want you to think that i take you for granted. FAR FROM IT!!!! i feel lucky, HONORED even, to be able to taste yr creamy goodness every single day.

not only are you remarkably consistent in yr yumminess, you’re also extremely compatible with all KINDS of other foods. i don’t know *anyone* who manages to compliment their friends as well as you do. i mean, you even make celery look good (sorry, celery, but you know you’re kinda drab). and when you get together with chocolate, well… i don’t want to get indecent here but FIREWORKS!!!! i truly hope that you guys will always keep that passion alive, cos a love like that only happens once in a lifetime!

given yr perfection, i hope you will allow me to make one tiny yet bold request. is there any way, any way AT ALL, that you could lose some calories? look, look, i’m not calling you fat or anything, it’s just that… well, you’re packing a lot of junk, and i can’t fit it all in my trunk!

i really hope that you’re not offended. trust me when i say that a LOT of foods have the same problem you do, and most of them are the rock stars of my culinary world– fried cheese sticks, do-nut holes, queso, etc. you guys just have a lot of love to give, you know? and i’m thinking that maybe that love doesn’t need to contain, oh, 80% of my daily saturated fat.

Continue reading ‘an open letter to peanut butter’

from now on, I’m swallowing my gum

Published by
Sarah
August 18, 2008 in growing up. 17 Comments

every afternoon, i eat an apple at my desk.

and every afternoon, i stare at the tiny white spots on the skin, still believing, in some way, that those little spots are vitamins.

from whence came this insanity?

my own mother!

see, at some point in my childhood, my mom, in a desperate attempt to get me to eat an apple without her having to go through the torture of de-skinning it, told me that i HAD to eat the skin, cos that’s where the vitamins lived.

she pointed to the tiny white dots and said, “see? those are the vitamins!”

mom, i don’t know if you remember doing this or not, but i swear, you did. I SWEAR.

and you guys, i believed this lie until high school. I KNOW!!!! i am not joking. i don’t remember what year it was, but during lunch, i pointed out the “vitamins” to a friend who promptly stared at me incredulously.

friend: “sarah, you can’t really *see* the vitamins. they’re in the skin, but you don’t see them.”

me: I CANNOT BELIEVE MY MOM LIED TO ME!!!

i felt like a kid who painstakingly avoids sidewalk cracks his whole life, only to find out that his mom’s back will not, in fact, break.

of course, my parents had lied to me before. i’m talking about the whole Santa Claus Scandal, not to mention the Tooth Fairy Cover-Up. but those are the sort of fables you *expect* yr parents to tell you, and i don’t know about you guys, but i wasn’t upset when i found out the truth.

actually, i *was* upset about the tooth fairy, namely wondering, “so does this mean i won’t get paid for my teeth anymore? GAH. why didn’t i keep my mouth shut?!”

my parents never told me that the tooth fairy might KILL ME! more lies!!!

Continue reading ‘from now on, I’m swallowing my gum’

 

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