Poshdeluxe

as you guys know, i was REALLY excited about seeing the new batman movie. in fact, given the key elements– christian bale’s hotness, heath ledger’s cray cray joker, AWESOME action sequences– i didn’t think it was possible that i could be MORE excited about this film. i mean, without endangering my health (i.e. sarah explosion).

but i was wrong. I WAS WRONG. leave it to the alamo to make my dark knight experience even MORE amazing than i thought possible.

“how?!! HOW?” you may cry out in curiosity.

by taking me, along with a group of other v. v. lucky people, to a bat cave!! and not just a regular old bat cave, but bracken cave, home of the largest colony of mammals IN THE WORLD. i am not kidding.

it’s located just outside of san antonio, which meant BUS TRIIIIIIP!!!

the drive took us about an hour and a half, but no one minded. the excitement was PALATABLE, as evidenced by zack’s face:

plus, henri put together a fantastic pre-show to get us even more hyped up for the movie– old episodes of the batman TV show, clips from the tim burton “batman” and, of course, some sing-along action. because you can’t see christian bale in a movie without hearing the rousing chorus of “santa fe” in yr head…

i love that i have a boyfriend who will actually sing along to a “newsies” number, even if he doesn’t know all of the words and pulls a little garth/bohemian rhapsody.

once we exited the bus, we were greeted by the “real” bat man, this guy:

he told us a little bit about the cave, but i got distracted when the alamo staff came out with some appetizers. it’s ok, though, cos all of that info is on the internet if i ever need it.

the staff set up tables right near the cave so we would be ready whenever the bats decided to emerge. i mean, how often do you get to enjoy a posh meal next to the world’s largest bat colony? NEVER!! ok, well, unless you’re bruce wayne.

right behind those tables is this view of the cave:

it kind of smells like bat poo, but you get used to it. esp. when there is champers to distract you!

not to mention tasty, tasty little appetizers.

and a “make yr own” mojito bar!! holy crap. no wonder the bats like to hang out here.

it’s really fun to crush the mint and the lime together, like you’re actually *working* for yr drink. and not just, you know, pouring it.

as you can see, henri and caitlin are mojito professionals.

we sat down for the next course, which was a delicious chilled summer tomato and carrot soup with crab. at this point, i felt sorry for the bats, cos there is no way mosquitoes taste this good.

while we were eating, the “bat man” walked around and talked to us about bats. sorry, bats, but you’re just not as interesting as my soup. don’t take it personally.

this picture of baby bats did, however, get my attention. cos i usually LOVE all things baby but… gross.

fortunately, it is really, really hard for me to lose my appetite. same for henri.

i have to give major props to the alamo cooking/serving staff. they always do a great job, but for this event, they were making a gourmet meal… next to a bat cave. in the middle of nowhere.

next time i go camping, i am sooo inviting john bullington, the head chef.

cos LOOK AT THIS!!!!!

seared tuna with baby squashes (now THIS is the kind of baby i adore) and tasty, tasty orzo. in fact, the orzo was SO good that zack got us a huge second helping.

i think the smell of our food wafted over to the cave, cos suddenly, the bats decided they were hungry!! HUNGRY FOR OUR BLOOD!! ok, no, not really. that would not actually make for a pleasant evening.

but they were HUNGRY FOR BUGS!! and if i was a bug, i would’ve been really, really terrified.

it’s difficult to really grasp the sheer multitude of the bats in a picture, which is why flossie took this fantastic video for you:

wow, right?!! the sight of all of these bats pouring forth from the mouth of the cave was simply extraordinary, not to mention surreal. i mean, i’ve seen this in movies before but… i was there! the bats could’ve pooed on me if they wanted to!!! which is kind of scary now that i think about it.

there were SO many bats that, after awhile, they started to feel normal. kinda like when i went to alaska with my parents, and there were bald eagles all over the place. it’s weird to see a bald eagle and go “meh.”

yep, just yr average alamo evening. drinking wine and watching a gazillion bats.

there are actually three viewing areas for the cave, so henri and i walked over to the “side” view to catch more of the bat action.

apparently, bats have this pet peeve about people talking when they’re trying to eat. i can relate.

as the bats continued to stream out, we walked to the third view point, which is directly over the mouth of the cave. you can see the people on the other side, where we started out:

it’s truly a strange sight to look up at the sky and see millions of bats fluttering over you, all while emitting that eerie squeaking sound. you have to remind yrself that they aren’t just birds.

i mean, wow!

i took this picture for my dad, who likes to stop and read all of the signs whenever we go anywhere with signs.

the stream of bats began to diminish to a mere trickle, which was good, cos i had DESSERT BUSINESS TO ATTEND TO.

that’s blackberry and chocolate mouse with a chocolate-y waffle thing and crystalized ginger. MMM GET IN MY TUMMAH.

i swear, this was so delicious, it would turn bats away from bugs forever. as demonstrated by thomas, it was “plate lickin’ good!”

apparently, there are some bats who aren’t “dusk people,” and so a big cloud of sleepyheads emerged from the cave right after we finished dessert.

if henri was a bat, he would run with this crew.

as the sun set, a group of us decided to investigate the “end” of the cave, which is a small hole housed under an old shed.

you GUYS. IT SMELLED SO BAAAAAD AUUUUGHHHH. like, i probably got cancer when i took this picture, so i hope you’re happy.

i seriously cannot believe that we even got CLOSE to that stinky, stinky hole. but we did, and i have video proof. it’s totally the next “cloverfield,” except with bat poo instead of a giant scary monster.

honestly, i’m amazed we survived. you know, when they show batman just chillaxing with his bats, he’s never, say, wrinkling his noise or going “OMG THIS IS SO GROSS.” so much for REALISM, batman!

anyway, we got back on the bus and headed to the theater to watch the movie, which of course TOTALLY BLEW MY PANTS AWAY INTO A MILLION PIECES ALL OVER THE UNIVERSE.

so thanks, alamo, for yet ANOTHER spectacular night when i find myself thinking, “i cannot BELIEVE i get to to do this.” i really am a lucky, lucky girl. not only did i get to eat tasty food and see lots of bats, but i also learned a lot.

like the fact that bat poo smells really, really bad.

i don’t know how batman takes it. i guess that’s what makes him a superhero.