Poshdeluxe

ladies and gentlemen, today i am extremely pleased to present to you an interview with the lovely selina keilani.

to regular readers of le blog, selina’s face is no doubt familiar to you, especially since i recently wrote about her ultra wonderful wedding at the beginning of june.

one might assume that i met selina through erica g., given the fact that they’ve been best friends since they attended UT together. but you know what happens when you AssUMe.

i actually met selina in 2005 through k.c., who suggested that selina talk to me about my graduate program at UT (she was considering it at the time). over lunch, i realized that we knew a lot of the same people, including henri; consequently, after that meeting, we started running into each other and then, eventually, we began planning to run into each other. she is now a regular fixture on the girlie night circuit, as well as one of my highly select Power Lunch Players, since we both work on campus.

although the word “multicultural” tends to be (in my opinion) overused by society, i can say, with utmost confidence and esteem, that selina is one of the most multicultural people i know. she speaks arabic, dances the samba, takes portuguese classes and practices islam, AMONG MANY OTHER THINGS. this girl has a fierce case of global curiosity, and she pursues all of her interests with incredible passion. in fact, that’s probably the trait i admire most– her enthusiastic embrace of cultures. if more people in america were like selina, we’d totally get voted Most Popular by all of the other countries, as opposed to the way we’ve viewed now (uh, Most Conceited? Most Stupidest?). not to mention the fact that we’d all be trilingual, which would rule.

it’s been a pleasure to get to know selina over these past few years, not only because i gained a great friend but also because there’s so many *layers* to this girl. it’s not often that you find yrself in a conversation with a friend, saying, “oh, you and yr family fled kuwait during the gulf war? i see.” or “ok, so let me get this straight. while i spent most of my childhood summers at the public library, you were in… spain.”

i value different perspectives highly in friends, and selina adds something absolutely unprecedented to my mix… something invaluable, actually.

selina and me, forming a v. lonely (BUT DEFIANT AND STRONG) red rover team on field day, 2008.

so let’s get this interview started, then you can see what i mean!

p.s. selina, like jennifer, did an AMAZING job of putting together photos for me. you will THANK HER when you see some of these gems.

ok, let’s start by discussing your international (some might say superspy!) background. you are the only person i know who spent her childhood in kuwait. tell me what that was like! oh and describe yr family background, too.

Let’s start with my family. Both my parents are Palestinian. My parents met there and then moved around a few times before they ended up Kuwait (they lived in Utah where my dad went to grad school, he later worked at the World Bank, etc). I have 5 siblings, 2 sisters and 3 brothers! My sisters live in Austin which I love. My older sister has two adorable girls that I love hanging out with. My older sister and I have always been super close even though she is 9 years older than me. My younger sister and I have a lot in common and right now its super fun cuz we live in the same apartment complex! 2 of my brothers live in Dallas as do my parents. My oldest brother Samer has a really cute son and works with my dad. My brother Basil lives in Korea where he is teaching English. My dad is a super awesome business wiz who owns his company and he also loves to write poetry! My mom is an amazing cook and super bargain hunter.

now THIS is a family photo.

As a child, Kuwait was great for me. People are always surprised when I tell them I moved to the US when I was 11 and many ask “how come you don’t have an accent?” I went to the American School of Kuwait and spoke English better than Arabic. My school was great because it had students from all over the world and we got to do fun “American” things. For example, one of our favorite days was sports day, you know like field day. My fave was tug of war and my class always won which meant we got to eat icecream in class! We also did weird things like one day we dressed up all country and had a square dance. I used to love where we lived, it was a large apartment complex mostly made up of foreigners (ie not Kuwaitis) with a huge common play area and pools. I had so many great times playing with neighbors and swimming in the pool. On the last day of school, me and my friend Jessica would jump into the pool with our uniforms on!

little miss kuwait 1982 (she ruled the bathing suit competition with that number)

now that you’ve been in america for a long time, how do you think a childhood in kuwait compares to one in the states?

I think part of that depends on your family background, class, etc but for me personally there were some similarities to life in the US and lots of differences. Some examples of the differences: we always had maids in Kuwait (totally normal there) and we always spent the whole summer away from Kuwait. As you can imagine, it’s really hot there so anyone that could afford it would leave. My parents traveled to many different places when they were younger but by the time I could really remember things we mostly went to Turkey and then Spain. We only had two channels when I lived in Kuwait, one in Arabic and the other in English. I am thankful for the English channel because I can relate to the Cosby show, my little pony, etc. but we didn’t have as much TV as in the US. Although we got to watch American movies on TV, any sort of kiss or romantic scene on TV was edited out. We always thought anything American was cool so anytime a friend or relative would go to the US we would beg for things like Bubble Yum and Baby-sitter’s Club books. Another difference is that although it’s a small country, you interact more with people from different backgrounds. There are more serious issues in Kuwait that we had to deal with. For example, you can’t get citizenship or own property in Kuwait unless you are from there. They didn’t always treat foreigners, like Palestinians, very well. There are some things that I didn’t think about until living in the US like how there is rampant abuse of domestic and manual laborers in Kuwait.

selina, her mom, and what i’m sure was some v. v. tasty birthday cake (btw, those candles are huge).

you spent many summers in spain… tell me about THAT, cosmo pants!

Some of my best memories are of my summers in Spain. My parents have an apartment in Marbella which is in the south of Spain. It is right on the beach! We had such an amazing routine. We would spend the mornings at the beach, our mom would call us from the balcony (we could see her from the beach) for lunch, we would take a siesta, then go to the pool. In the evening we would go out to dinner and take a stroll. Many days we would get ice cream. Their ice cream was amazing and my favorite was green apple…YUM! 5 minutes from our apt. is this lovely promenade where there are no cars for miles. You get to people watch and enjoy the weather while eating at a fun restaurant.

There is this area that you would have loved, Sarah. It’s called Puerto Banus, and it’s where all the luxury yachts dock. It was the place where all the posh people went :). One of the best things about the apartment, is that we made lots of friends in Spain and had great times with different people. I even had my first romance there! There were also some crazy times that usually involved my dad trying to drive a stick in Spain. Some years we traveled to cities like Sevilla and Cordoba. One time, in spite of my protests, he drove us right into a pedestrian square! I was mortified! Unfortunately, I haven’t been in about 5 years. I really hope to go next summer. Here is an apartment in the same building (but this one is bigger).

when the gulf war began, you and yr family were in spain, and consequently you never returned home. i can’t imagine what that must have been like. were you scared? overwhelmed? unable to process? what was it like to be forced to leave all of yr friends and possessions, everything familiar, behind?

It was a very strange and scary experience. When it happened, my brother Basil was in the US. He called and told us and we didn’t believe him (my dad hung up on him) until we saw the news. It was totally crazy and unexpected. We didn’t return home because we were scared to since we were Palestinian (Kuwaitis were pissed at Palestinians since some outside Kuwait supported Saddam….complicated issue…ask me sometime). So we left all our things there! Imagine, we only had summer clothes for a vacation. My uncle who was there managed to save a few of our photos and some jewelry but not much else. I was very sad to leave my 6 Persian kittens, my friends, and my toys. It was also awful because the stress really affected my parents and they were bedridden for a month with back issues and it was just my parents me and my two younger siblings at the time. I was 10 and all of a sudden I had to take care of my little sister and my brother who was only 1. That was a big grow up moment for me. It’s still really sad to me that I will never have all my photos, my childhood toys, my parents prized possesions, etc.

selina and her brother, samer, posing in front of some of the precious toys she later had to leave behind.

at the time, what was yr perspective on the war? what was yr parents’ reaction?

We were totally shocked and obviously upset that Iraq was coming in like that. My parents were really devastated because all our financial assets were frozen and we had no money. My dad had to borrow a lot of money from friends and relatives. I think my parents were really in shock. My uncle took some photos of our house after people ransacked it and it was very sad to see things all over the floor, our piano ripped apart, etc. I think as kids we didn’t grasp it fully. In Denton, we were on the local news once and my younger sister Tanya said to the reporter “the Iraqi soldiers are playing with my barbies.” She was 5 at the time and after seeing that some strangers sent her barbies in the mail :).

selina and her dad, on vacation… somewhere exotic, i’m sure!

My parents threw around lots of ideas on where we were going to live. They even looked into a school in Spain for me (I kinda liked that idea :). Finally, we decided to go to Texas where my older brother and sister were attending the University of North Texas. My parents applied for political asylum and we got really lucky. My mom thought ahead and had my younger siblings in the US. I think their citizenship status helped us a bit.

BLESS YOU, selina, for actually sending me a picture from junior high.

what kind of culture shock did you experience, going from kuwait (and spain) to little old carrollton, texas? what sort of stereotypes did you encounter?

Well, the worst was going to the 5th grade in Denton at the end of October after the war. Not only was I the new girl that showed up after school had started but I was a weird foreigner from a country that was in the news. I got the usual things like “did you sleep in a tent?”, “did you ride a camel to school”, etc. Also, I went from being in an amazing private school to being in a run of the mill public school. That was hard because I was way ahead of everyone and well behaved so the teacher really liked me. Nobody wanted to be friends with me. This one boy was sweet and we talked until the class started a rumor that we liked each other and then he stopped talking to me too. We went from having money to not having anything for a while and we lived in a small apartment. My dad didn’t have a job and that was hard for him. I couldn’t buy new clothes for school (I would steal shirts from my older siblings and thought I was cool) which did not help my popularity. At times it was hard fitting in with the crowd since I felt different and my parents didn’t let me do things that other kids liked to do. Despite all that, I was kind of excited to be in America. I can’t imagine living anywhere else now.

selina’s v. v. american senior portrait. and again, i will thank her for providing this treasure trove of photos.

did you have to make a conscious decision to hold on to certain pieces (or all) of yr heritage? do you see yourself as more of a global citizen, a blend of cultures?

I think that some of it is a conscious decision because unless I make an effort to celebrate and participate in my culture and religion, it’s easy to ignore. For example, it will always “feel” Christmas here since a lot of people celebrate it but I have to really make an effort to make Eid feel present and special. I definitely feel like a blend of different cultures and experiences. When we were in Kuwait, we weren’t the same as our relatives in Jordan or Palestine. Now that we are in America, we are not American enough for some here and our relatives back home think of us as American. Being an Arab and a Muslim are big parts of who I am and I really cherish that. As I have gotten older, I appreciate it even more. For example, I am now taking Arabic classes at UT and make an effort to speak it more. I really hope to teach my kids Arabic and I hope they feel like it’s a part of them too. I love being an Arab and a Muslim but it doesn’t mean I agree with everyone’s interpretation of what that is…same for being American. I pick and choose the things that appeal to me about the cultures and traditions and that’s what’s great about having lots to choose from.

samba (and, well, dancing in general) is a huge part of yr life now. where and how did yr interest develop?

I have always loved dancing but never had formal dance training. It all started when I took Portuguese at UT and then took a samba class since I decided I loved Brazilian culture. After about a year of classes, I was approached to join the samba school and to help start the dance section. It started out about 5 years ago with only me and one other dancer and now we have about 9 regular dancers. I love dancing, performing, and sharing what I know with other dancers. Sometimes, it’s difficult leading and organizing a dance troupe but it feels great when we are dancing and the audience is loving it.

what has been yr favorite dance performance (costume included!) so far?

Well, our big gig every year is the annual Carnaval at Palmer Auditorium where there about 5,000 people. It’s fun cuz we work hard for it all year long and wear our most elaborate costumes. Last year we dressed up as butterflies which was pretty cute and the year before we were mermaids, every little girl’s dream.

looks like these beautiful butterflies bought hats that were definitely NOT mistakes (sorry, YGM reference).

ok TELL ME ABOUT THE TIME YOU WERE ON UNIVISION!

Univision wanted to do a piece on Carnaval a couple of days before the show this year and so they filmed our rehearsal. They also had me show the reporter how to samba. Hilarious!! Especially since she was wearing a see through top and stilletos.

i like asking this question to all of my married friends: you’re MARRIED! what’s it like?

I just got married June 1 so I don’t think I am an expert yet but so far it’s been good. I know it’s all mental but it feels great to be “official”. I feel like we are really a team now and that’s exciting.

tell me, have you ever seen a more gorgeous, multicultural couple? no, you haven’t.

I really appreciate Tommy’s interest in other cultures and his ability to learn languages. He spoke Spanish and spent a year abroad in Spain so that was a common bond. After I took Portuguese, I convinced him to take it and then we were both obsessed. He even studies in Brazil for a summer. He is in a Brazilian band and does capoeira and I am in a samba school! So we definitely share those things and enjoy exploring them together. Now, Tommy is taking Arabic classes with me which means the world to me. I love that through learning the language he is learning more about me and where I come from and he can relate to my family better as well. I can’t tell you how much it has helped with his dealings with my parents. I love that he is willing to go that extra mile and that one day when I speak to my kids in Arabic he can join in! The other day Tommy was kinda kidding and asking, “would you take Gaelic(Irish) if they had it at UT” and I said that I would totally do that with him. I have always felt like I had some connection to Irish people (and not just because I loved the Cranberries ;). I think it has more to do with being a Palestinian and feeling like Irish people and Palestinians had something in common in terms of dealing with injustice…so maybe I can’t relate to their drinking but that’s something else :).

Of course its not all easy and we have had to make compromises. We have sought the advice of others and done things like gone to a counselor since it can be hard to resolve these kinds of differences but we have decided it’s worth it for us. I may have to spend Christmas with his family sometimes and he will go to Eid prayer with me but honestly I am just so lucky that Tommy is so easygoing and willing to go along with what is important to me. Although Tommy and I are very different when it comes to our personalities, I think we will always share a love of language and culture.

the couple that roller skaters together, stays together.

I have worked at UT for almost 6 years! I really do like working here for all the benefits…I get to take a free class during work hours every semester! That’s pretty sweet. It doesn’t sound very ambitious to me but honestly I wouldn’t mind working here forever. I think I will keep moving jobs (I am on my third) to keep things from getting too boring since sometimes the jobs and bureacracy can really suck. I love being on a lively campus, going to lectures, and taking classes. I am however not looking forward to the day when I can’t pass for a student anymore!

what is yr secret power?

Well, I speak alot of languages (Arabic, English, and some Spanish and Portuguese), have traveled, and I pride myself on knowing lots of random details about other cultures. This helps me relate to lots of people and makes life interesting.

do you sleep in jimjams? what kind?

Hmmm, should we save this for the “tell me something scandalous” question? ha ha. I either wear just underwear or underwear and a tank top. If I lived somewhere really cold, I would buy an adult version of those pjs with feet!

selina and erica in NYC… how cute are they? also, i love the guy on the right for some reason.

what is yr #1 favorite food?

I loooove food so its really hard for me to pick one. If I had to, I would pick Lasagna in Spain. Its not like your usual American Lasagna. It involves bechamel sauce, a creamy white sauce, and baking in a cute individual dish in a wood oven! Kinda like this.

That’s another tough one but I really love Eastside Cafe and their Wild Mushroom Crepes: “Two crepes filled with wild mushrooms, domestic mushrooms, walnuts, ricotta, and jack cheese. Topped with roasted tomato mushroom sauce.” Yum!!

i love the invisible steering wheel installed in this car (tommy and selina, at disneyworld visiting erica g.).

tell me about yr top area of expertise.

I would have to say my top area of expertise involves samba since I teach and lead a group of samba performers at the Austin Samba School. We perform at different events around Austin such as Carnaval, parades, New Year’s Eve parties, etc. I never had dance training as a kid but I always loved to dance so its wonderful having it in my life now. I have been performing with the school for over 4 years and my interest in samba all started when I took my first Portuguese class at UT and I haven’t stopped since. Lately I have been going to Brazil camp, a one week camp during the summer in the redwoods of N. California where we get to dance all day under a canopy of trees!

what was yr favorite item of clothing as a child?

I absolutely loved this outfit I had when I was about 7 years old. It was white shorts and a top that had splatter paint all over it in different colors! I wore it all the time. It got to point where it was getting too small on me and my mom hid it from me. Needless to say I found it and wore it again…tightness and all!

personally, i’m a fan of this little red and blue number. but seriously, selina, did you KNOW you were an anime character when you were a kid? cos you were.

what was yr favorite toy as a child? (the moody bonus question)

I was very girly and always loved my barbies. My problem was I thought I was a fashionista hairdresser and would give alot of them haircuts. When my mom would ask me why, I would explain that they didn’t want to be the same and didn’t this one look much cuter with a bob?

what do you plan on doing when you’re 80?

I would love to have lots of grandkids to play with and to be able to travel and chill at my beach house (I can dream can’t I?).

if you could assemble yr own ocean’s 11, who would you pick and why?

Tommy would be in the crew since he is my husband, speaks lots of languages, and is super friendly. He would disarm people with his chatter! Erica G. would be there to get things done and organized while we are all exhausted and sleeping. My older brother Samer would be there to be the financial wiz and rational one. Sarah would be there to supply us with cupcakes and brilliant plans. My friends Sonia and Natasha could be our fabulous legal team. My sisters would be there for moral support and to drive me crazy ;). Our officiant Elizabeth since she is a chef and we need yummy food. My nieces have to be there since no one can resist their cuteness!! What a crazy group!

selina, her sisters and those adorable (some might say LETHALLY ADORABLE) nieces.

what is yr best karaoke song?

My disclaimer is that I have a terrible voice and don’t sing much but I do enjoy karaoke. One of my favorites is “Lets Get Physical” by Olivia Newton John just because it’s so darn funny.

do people ever tell you that you look like someone famous? who?

I don’t get anyone consistently but I have gotten such random things as Natalie Portman, Claire Forlani, and Juliette Lewis (yuck!). I personally don’t think I look like any of them.

tell me something scandalous!

People who meet me now can’t believe that I used to love going to raves and would dance all night until 6am! Ok, so I also went to Foam Parties…call me crazy!

foam parties? well, ok. but RAVES? girl, you WERE crazy. then again, as evidenced by this picture, you’ve always been a little bit, uh, loony tunes.

thanks for being such a fabulous (and fascinating) interview subject, selina!

as always, readers, feel free to ask selina questions in the comments section.

LINKS

not only did selina allow me to interview her, she also sent me this amazing, stop motion animated film of “western” spaghetti. whimsical and fantastic!

vulture posted a HILARIOUS list of possible “spin-offs” based on characters from “hellboy 2″ (which, btw, is awesome and you NEED TO SEE IT). my vote goes for “welcome to camp, mr. wink!”

AAUUGHHH i just read about robert, the haunted doll. HEEBIE JEEBIES!!!!! DON’T TOUCH HIS HAT.

you guys, i’m not really a cat person but… i think i’m in love. with winston, who is feline but, as jezebel points out, not very, well, cat-like (friend winston, i still love you, too. but can you prance like this while sporting an amazing haircut? i’m sorry, but i doubt it). i mean OMGGG LOOK AT HIM IN A SANTA OUTFIT.

check out the awesome books becky’s students made at art camp (p.s. i wanna go to art camp!).