Poshdeluxe

last friday, pants world gathered together to celebrate the fourth of july like the rest of our fellow red-blooded americans: with meat, explosions and possible burn injuries! USA! USA!

as you may already know, it has become a tradition for us to dine at fuddrucker’s, since

a) they are open

b) they serve LOTS OF MEAT

c) they foster a family atmosphere, and we are all about family values in this country.

just SITTING in a fuddrucker’s makes you feel v. wholesome and patriotic. i mean, look at tommy and selina:

special props to selina for dressing up for the holiday. the only people that topped her ensemble were an elderly couple that tottered in wearing american flag shirts (cue new life goal– to be THAT awesome when i’m old).

while SOME people ordered mexican beer (i won’t name names, since that would beJOSHKATZrude), erica remained unwavering in her devotion to america by drinking a miller lite.

and, in the ultimate win for america, john renounced his irishness by successfully consuming a hamburger and unsuccessfully trying to talk with an american accent.

i have to admit that every time i go to fuddrucker’s (ok, once a year), i order the same thing. i’ve been ordering it since high school… because it’s always been cheap and tasty AND (this is the best part) it comes out before everyone’s hamburgers so i get to eat first and be the envy of all the tummies around me!

that’s right, i’m talking about CHILI CHEESE FRIES.

here is a close-up, which looks really gross but DON’T BE FOOLED THIS IS DELICIOUS.

ok, yeah, that still looks pretty gross.

our group was so large, we basically took over the entire restaurant, which, when you think about it, is exactly what america likes to do.

note: i love the “machine shack” sign, which hovers over a sprawling set of… three arcade games.

my FAVORITE thing about fuddruckers is ringing the bell on my way out to let the staff know that I HAD A GREAT TIME (comic sans) YAY! except… now the bell is missing.

WTF?!! how am i supposed to let them know i “had a great time (comic sans)” if THE BELL IS GONE?!!! fuddruckers better rectify this situation before next year cos this is, like, the liberty bell being stolen. seriously.

outside, we took an extremely patriotic group photo, cos, as we know, this is my favorite thing to make people do. besides buy/cook me food.

just a couple of american kids, hanging out at the local burger joint and bursting into songs about race cars and young love!

next, we drove over to the neighborhood on mt. bonnell to attend a house party with THIS AMAZING SPECIMEN OF A BACK PORCH:

I KNOW! we are SO RICH! which is totally the american dream, so YEAH!

after gazing out over the beautiful landscape that is our nation, we spontaneously burst into a rousing rendition of “my country, ’tis of thee.”

ok, maybe i was the only one. but hey, it was inspiring!!!

you know what else was inspiring? the PATRIOTIC CUPCAKES!!!

the magnificent view afforded us the opportunity to see not one but several firework displays. it was easy to sorta feel like god, giggling over the antics of little people below, which really explains a lot about rich people’s attitudes.

you guys FIREWORKS ARE AWESOME.

maybe… even better than rainbows. but that’s a topic for a different blog post.

i like this picture, cos it looks like neon streamers, which would be AMAZING if they existed. paging coco bongo…

just like the pilgrims, we were not content to stay in one place and instead chose to embrace a new frontier by driving to a party at caitlin’s house. good-bye view, helloooo sparklers!

i love sparklers, because they make me feel like i’m MAGICAL! like, i could be hermione, about to use my wand do something magical cos i’m too lazy to do it the regular way. hey, has anyone actually thought about just how lazy wizards really are? anyway.

some people, like teresa, don’t feel QUITE as magical.

finally, it was time for the best part of the night: THE THREAT OF INJURY VIA FIREWORK.

this is not an event for mere amateurs. oh no. this is an event for IMMATURE, FEARLESS AMATEURS.

warriors like josh duty, who came full prepared in battle regalia.

dad, if you’re reading this, you might want to stop here. just a suggestion.

the most popular activity involving fireworks is, of course, the roman candle battle. and, because i am a Serious Journalist, i put myself in the line of fire just to capture this footage for you:

seriously, it really DOES feel like wizards are doing battle, right on the driveway! i kept expecting someone to yell out “STUPEFY!” or “expelliarmus!”

even erica started to worry that voldemort might show up.

actually, that’s just her reaction to fireworks, period.

oh silly erica, like there was a REASON to be afraid! it’s not like the flying sparks would actually, you know, veer off into the crowd of innocent bystanders or something. i mean, come on.

the ultimate instigator of all of this sparky madness was, of course, tim. this guy fears NOTHING, not even the deadly “evil’s night” (TM).

the finale of the night arrived in the form of a big, cardboard bullet called “power tower.” no, not “the tower of power” but “power tower.”

the power tower DEMANDS RESPECT, as demonstrated by tim.

you have to marvel at american technology (made in china? WHO CARES) when something can transform form a cardboard bullet into this:

ok, not to insult you, power tower, but actually the BEST firework of the night was this one, which i think was a fiesta mexicana (as mentioned on PYROUNIVERSE.COM).

overall, i think we managed to show america WHO LOVES HER THE MOST, even though no limbs or faces were sacrificed in the firework flames (however, several shirts did give up their lives).

AMERICA! YOU’RE HOT! CALL US!

LINKS

the NYT finally wrote about matt harding and his awesome internet dancing ways (GAH i would KILL to get paid for that). uh did anyone else tear up while watching his video? ANYWAY and then there’s this college humor video about matt’s girlfriend…

selina sent me this HILARIOUS segment from ellen, where she tries out a “hawaii chair” that allows you to “sit and be fit.” um… i really want one.

i LOVE this pacman cake (with cupcake ghosts!). i would say it’s too cute to eat but… nah, i would still eat it. thanks, MSW, for the link.

the door to hell… literally (olivia, have you visited this place?!).

thanks to meredith for sending me these delicious GQ photos of christian bale. behold and admire.

squee of the day: a bunny who opens yr mail for you!!!!!!