today, i have a really important question for you guys.
and i have the feeling that it’s going to generate a LOT of discussion. like, more than that entry about that twee article or whatever.
so i was browsing through jezebel when i came across this photo:
ok, nevermind who those people are (if you care, it’s a dude from the strokes and a model that, as mugatu would say, “is so hot right now”), cos my question has nothing to do with hipsters.
the first thing that came to mind when i saw this photo, the ABSOLUTE FIRST THING, was:
GARRRRWHITEPANTSWTFAAAAAUUGHH
basically, this picture led me to the stunning realization that, out of all the pants in the world, the one type, ABOVE ALL OTHERS, that i would never wear are white pants.
now, i might get some hate mail for saying that, but john told me that i should write more controversial things so HERE YOU GO, HATERS. comment bombs away!
seriously, though. i really hate white pants. here is why:
1) if you spill something on white pants, everyone will be able to see it (this is why my camo pants are my favorite, shh). and i’d rather spend my time fully enjoying my pizza/spaghetti/wine/chocolate pie than worrying about my stupid white pants.
2) white pants totally attract dirt, and so if you’re a germphobe like me, you will FREAK OUT when you realize all of the nastiness yr ankles and bum have been exposed to. I WOULD RATHER LIVE IN IGNORANCE VIA DARK DENIM THANK YOU.
3) since white is so, well, white, it makes everything stand out– so, if you don’t, say, like yr legs yr thighs or yr butt, the white pants will MOCK YOU WITH THEIR WHITE PANTNESS.
4) white pants take over every ensemble. it doesn’t matter if you’re wearing yr favorite shirt or hat, NO ONE WILL CARE cos white pants are an attention hog.
5) you guys, white pants are fugly.
i rest my case.
my second least favorite pants are animal print, unless i’m in vegas. then, i am all over that leopard action, unless gold lamé is an option.
and now i turn this hard hitting question to you: what are YR least favorite pants? THINK HARD. and PLEASE PROVIDE EVIDENCE to back up yr claim.
p.s. i honestly cannot believe i’ve never written a post about this before.
p.p.s. i’m doing a book club entry in the next few days, so get yr reviews ready!
LINKS
i have a new favorite internet child… she’s no pearl, granted, and she probably wouldn’t kick a monster’s ass, but she’s still amazing, nonetheless. prepared to be amazed by this three year old summarizing “star wars” (special thanks to meredith for the link!):
so apparently the new ghostbusters video game has voices from the entire cast.. except rick moranis. he apparently made enough money off of “honey i shrunk the kids” to retire. and no, i am not kididng.
ok, so i went to a few debate tournaments back in the day, but i have NEVER seen ANYTHING like this. apparently, it’s the new style of debating. personally, i think i would get the hiccups after about 30 seconds.
especially in these days of drought, it’s nice to see some green grass… esp. artsy grass!!
squee of the day: ducklings in a bathtub!
check out this interview with jennifer laughran, a.k.a. the woman who has my dream job.
First off, I totally like the girl. I can’t remember her name but she is part of the new burberry campaign and I like her style. She lives near me I think.
White pants. I’m always one to say that there are no rules only context when it comes to fashion. I think white pants are part of that. My point in case:
1. the White party
2. Slacks
Yes, they get dirty easily, but that just shows that you are a man that doesn’t play in the dirt. I think the white pant can be pulled off in the right context by the right dude.
Cool
Yeah, I’m pretty sure that I disagree with number five on the list, and numbers one through four are a superb way of arguing why they’re my favorite types of pants.
Least favorite? Khakis. And even when I was into the swing renaissance of the late ’90s and The Gap tried to convince me that khakis should be the pants for me, I knew they were wrong. Khakis are for employees at Best Buy.
In a related note, I also don’t wear blue, short-sleeved, knit shirts with a bit of yellow embroidered on them.
I’m with you on white pants Sarah, ALL the way. Especially white cords. It’s like, 2008 already.
And this will smack of copying Henri but I hate chinos. They’re like what people who wear khaki to work wear when they’re out ‘having fun’. And I include the troops of the British Empire in that. They’re just so…. awful. Chinos just scream out to me “let’s have some wine coolers and then have our servants lynch black people”.
I know that’s a bit rough but I really hate chinos. If people here like to wear chinos, I’m not implying you’re a racist. I am implying that you should really, REALLY stop wearing chinos, though. I love the new controversial Sarah.
The only pants that I don’t like are tight pants. Maybe it’s because I’m claustrophobic, but I can’t stand to have things affixed to me.
I’m not really into fashion, so I have little idea as to what looks good and what makes me appear ghastly. A general rule for me is that if it’s comfortable, I’m cool. I don’t care if it’s khaki or denim. I don’t care if it’s cargo or pocketless. I don’t care it they’re blue, white or camo - just make me comfortable.
By the way, I don’t know what chinos are. How do I know if I own them?
i don’t comment often, but i feel the need to defend white pants. while it is a relatively minor role, i feel white pants have a distinct place. exhibit 1 - richard attenborough in jurassic park. i mean, what else is someone supposed to wear on an island off the coast of costa rica when you are opening your dinosaur park to a group of scientists? exhibit 2 - antonio banderas in zorro. i mean, seriously, in mexico white pants are probably the norm. exhibit 3 - both geoffery rush and pierce brosnan in the tailor of panama, what are spies supposed to wear in equatorial countries? and finally this movie - http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0468521/.
to be honest, there seems to be almost a banana republic theme. i guess i could imagine my final days trying to arrange a coup wearing white (linen) pants, a buttoned short sleeve shirt in pale blue and a panama hat. but then again, i don’t think they’d look very good on me. no equatorial guinea coup for me.
oh, and terrible pants, how about capri pants on men? seriously, what do these eurotrash dudes think they are trying to get away with here.
white/light-colored pants rule. they’re like a canvas for the performance art that is me sozzled. cargo pants irritate me. loved them as a kid, hate them now, can’t explain it.
Chinos are cotton trousers, and (according to wikipedia) are sometimes confused with khakis. Basically, despite essentially being suit pants, they’re a ‘casual’ choice for people who put sweaters around their shoulders in a manner utterly devoid of irony.
Normal people also wear them though, so I’ll try and moderate the hatred a bit.
Steve nails it. Capri pants for men are a joke played upon unwitting humanity. Also, I will not join Steve’s equatorial jungle coup, because we’ll be eaten by a local strongman’s militia within hours of organizing.
ok, i HAVE to add this comment from my dad, sent to me via email:
Well I know where I stand with Henri and Steve. I am a proud wearer of khaki pants and have a closet full of khaki pants, even a khaki sport jacket. Khaki is cotton, which makes it cool in the summer and khaki goes with anything, especially those blue, short sleeved knit shirts with a bit of yellow. I like them starched and iron also. (Doesn’t Indiana Jones wear khaki pants during his adventures?). I even have some khaki cargo pants from Old Navy that I really love to wear and never iron. So tell Henri that I am going to wear my khaki pants from now on whenever I know we are going to see him. I might even wear a blue, short sleeved knit shirt with a bit of yellow!
I’ve actually seen some people pull off white pants…although you will NEVER see me in a pair of them. I do have old pictures of me in white shorts though…
While I do think “to each his own” on the pants issue, I never liked the country-western jeans that showed off everything under the sun…both men and women’s styles were awful, tight, came in EVERY color, style and fade, and I cannot think of one person who made them look good. I don’t think that trend is still in existence, thus proving that most people don’t like them anymore either. Thank goodness.
And while I did sport spandex in my early years (as in under the age of 5), spandex is usually pretty darn awful. Unless it’s useful to your profession, say a ballet dancer or athlete, I think it’s generally good practice to NOT wear them in public.
“So tell Henri that I am going to wear my khaki pants from now on whenever I know we are going to see him. I might even wear a blue, short sleeved knit shirt with a bit of yellow!”
Who knew that wearing khaki pants could be an act of aggression? Right on.
Tell your dad I’ll be wearing white spandex from now on.
Wait. He’ll just invite me for a bike ride, and then he’ll school me. You win again, Mr. Pitre!
Unless… does anyone know where I can pick up a pair of capri pants for men? Because honestly, it’d look pretty great with my deep V T-shirts.
That’s going to be my new summer look - awkward uncovered areas of flesh that confuse your eyes and make you unsure where to look.
My butt is too um, “bootylicious” to wear white pants. They really show every imperfection you have and it’s also difficult to find the right underwear to wear with white pants. Do you wear a white thong, nude-colored bikinis, go commando, what? I wore white shorts once and got chocolate all over them and that was the end to the white shorts. I wear pretty much all black now.
I have to weigh in on the capri pants thing. Henri, that kind of behaviour could get you in all sorts of trouble. In fact, I think even discussing capri pants on Sarah’s blog is just lowering the tone of the whole thing.
For some reason when I hear deep v neck shirt and capri pants I think of pirates. Don’t know why. My least favorite pants are really shorts. Plaid shorts. They don’t look good on anyone. To me they just look ridiculous.
ok, so steve made some good points about white pants (esp. the jurassic park reference– JP will win any argument, as far as i’m concerned). but i’m not talking about what eccentric old men can wear, cos really, old people can wear whatever they want and get away with it. even manpris. which is why getting super old will be AWESOME. henri, just think of all of the deep v’s that will be in yr closet!
I forgot to mention 2 things the little girl said that stood out to me hilariously were “shiny guy always worries.” and “Don’t talk back to Darth Vdader, he’ll get ya.” Which I think that last one was the original title to The Empire Strikes Back. Lucas changed it at the last minute.
Hey Moody, can I jump on your shorts-dissing bandwagon? I don’t like the short shorts plus heels fashion. Especially when girls do it.
I have to disagree with you, John. I love the short shorts plus heels fashion. I love the short shorts plus boots fashion even more. Basically, I love short shorts and think more people should walk around in them (this is because, at least on girls, there is no good length of shorts between very short and capris. Anything between that is like the girly parts on a lesbian - no man’s land.).
I hate cargo shorts. Men should not wear cargo shorts. Men wearing cargo shorts should not continue to douchify everything they touch by running into my friends downtown all the time. (”Good luck on your gig!”) And they shouldn’t offer their opinion on politics and then diss Morrissey. Cargo Shorts died a cruel death that night at Warren’s, forever associated with a gross jerk.
P.S. Sarah, I also hate white pants, because Johnny Borrel wears white pants. Although in his case, I reckon no one can really see the white pants past his giant horse teeth.
No one’s yet mentioned how unflattering white pants are on people who aren’t stick thin, as well. Pudge City.
What about black jeans, Sarah? As in “Romeo in Black Jeans”? I love our old conversation about how great that song is, but how dated it’s become due to the writer’s refusal to just say “Romeo in BLUE Jeans.”
oh meredith, i hear you V. well.
Hi, I’m really late! But I would like to note that I mostly dislike shorts in general, although I can get behind short shorts with boots/heels. But otherwise, I think shorts are really unflattering, although obviously more practical than skirts, etc.
I had some white pants before. But they were kinda see-through.
Also, I recently went to a couple boot shops in Texas and Las Vegas, so Jenn K: those cowboy/girl jeans are still in for someone.
I think, although of course the girls at go fug yourself are going to go crazy for collating these, that the worst pants are those black, almost-see-through tights all the girls wear under dresses or skirts that are too short. The skirts blow up in the wind and all you see is a kind of not-covered gray thigh. If you’re going to wear tights like they’re pants, at least make sure you don’t stretch them til they’re see-through.
I haven’t commented in forever because I have been busy and my computer doesn’t like to load this blog, lame, I know!
But really fast: Hate white pants. Always have.
My husband wears capri style pants, ones he ripped himself and rides on his bike in them. They are perfect for riding your bike in the Texas heat. AND I think he looks hot in them. Nuff said.
My husband hates capri pants, but I think it’s more the slick capri and slide shoe look on men that he hates.
I actually just wanted to comment on that high school debate post. I debated in high school, and that’s just what I remember: talking fast (both to fit in info and to intimidate the opponent) AND all sides of the debate ending in nuclear war or the extinction of the human race.
I’ll catch up this weekend!
P.S. I’m WAY behind on reading your blog.