Poshdeluxe

last night, i experienced the kanye west entertainment musical spectacle known as the “glow in the dark” tour. and i shall now offer you my humble review.

i want to preface my opinion with the idea that usually, when i see a show, i’m in a small venue where i’m usually struggling to get close to the stage while people are sweating on me, elbowing me and sometimes even dancing on me (rare for hipsters, but it does happen). and i realized something crazy last night– i LIKE that. not only do i like it, but i PREFER it.

believe me, i’m just as surprised as you are.

so the show last night was at the frank erwin center, which is like a big arena theater. i was pretty excited about the idea of experiencing a concert in AIR CONDITIONING with a seat (my own seat!) if i got tired or lazy. our section was really close to the stage but sort of perpendicular to it, which meant we had more of a side view. this was slightly disappointing, but since i could still see everything, i didn’t mind.

so then the show started. at 7:15 PM.

you guys, that is WEIRD!! it’s like, so early, the sun was still out! i’m used to shows starting at MAYBE 9 PM, but usually more like 10 or so. and yeah, i’m not gonna complain about getting to bed early, but still. it’s hard to rock out at 7 PM. it just is.

so lupe fiasco came out first, and he won my vote, as well as erica and henri’s, for Best Fashion. boy knows how to DRESS FOR SUCCESS! he had on these kinda sparkly dark jeans, a black shirt with a sequined stripe (when a man can sport sequins proudly, you know he’s awesome) and this pirate-y type jacket. as dessiree would say, “he was seeeexyyyyy!!!”

henri and i saw lupe at emo’s a while back, and i think my memory of that experience is what got me thinking about the whole stadium show versus small sweaty club show thing. lupe is definitely on the rise, and he possesses the kind of star power that gets a massive crowd on its feet, but it still felt strange to watch him with an audience that was mostly sitting or still trickling in. overall, though, he was awesome, and i would see him again in a heart beat.

next up was n.e.r.d., who i had never seen before. i was pretty excited, esp. cos erica and i have this theory that pharrell is an alien, cos he is WAY too good-looking and WAY too cool to be a human being. for example, in the “like i love you” video, when he’s standing next to justin timberlake, he looks SO MUCH MORE AWESOME than justin. i mean, who does that?!!! who looks more awesome then justin? PHARRELL DOES, that’s who.

also, that red dog reminds me of clifford. but he wasn’t part of the show, unfortunately.

n.e.r.d. put on a fantastic performance that ended in the best way possible– a crazy chaotic dance party on the stage, kinda like a sing-along but with more lighting effects. erica and i had our own little dance party, but again, i kinda wished the crowd was smashed together, grooving to the same beat in a giant, sweaty, awkward but happy mess. i love that these guys aren’t afraid to, as they say, “spaz out” and make complete fools of themselves. i also love that there are two drummers. watching them made me want to practice REALLY HARD on my “rock band” drum skills so that i can convince myself that i am an actual drummer. even though it’s a video game.

pharrell got a little aggressive with the crowd, like singling people out who weren’t standing up (dude, just STAND UP. do NOT make pharrell mad! seriously), but i kind of liked his bravado. at one point, he asked us, “ARE YA’LL READY TO FEEL THE ENERGY?” no one has every asked me that before. but yes, a THOUSAND TIMES yes, i am ready to feel yr energy, pharrell.

next up was my girl rihanna!!!!

i love rihanna. i know some people* (*henri) don’t think she’s attractive, but i think she’s gorgeous and talented and just totally marvelous. and last night she totally lived up to my expectations!

first, she had dancers, and i LOVE shows with dancers. in fact, that’s definitely an advantage that stadium shows have over club shows. second, she had some costume changes. if i ever go on a world tour, i’m gonna have a DIZZYING number of costume changes, and most of them will include a million sequins and glitter. third, the dancers used props, including umbrellas (duh) but ALSO LIGHT SABERS!!!! they didn’t fight with them, they just twirled them around and i think all the nerds in the audience almost peed in their pants.

i have to give her major props for singing/dancing/walking in this pair of boots with SUPER DUPER high heels. i’m wondering if the ability to wear heels happens magically when you become famous, cos there is just no other explanation for the celebrity ability to rock sky high shoes. it’s like MAGIC.

finally, it was time for kanye west.

now, i know some people can’t stand him, but i think kanye is awesome AND hilarious. i love his ceaseless self-promotion, i adore his obsession with fashion, i think his song-writing is fantastic. so i admit, i had extremely high expectations for his show.

the stage looked REALLY promising. it took them FOREVER to set it up, but that’s cos it was so complex– basically, it looked like the rocky surface of a planet, with a massive screen in the background, a small screen hanging down in the middle, and TONS of ducts for fog machines. plus there was a panel in the middle of the stage that not only moved up and down, but was actually a screen as well. here’s a mock-up i found on the internet:

so finally the show began, and the audience learned that kanye’s spaceship had crashed on a planet with no energy left for the return flight. this caused kanye to be v. angry and motivated him to rap several songs. then jane, the ship computer, told him that some shooting stars were coming to see him.

yeah, stick with me here.

so i’d heard there would be puppets in this show, from the jim henson shop, and i could not WAIT to see them. like, this was gonna be the highlight for me, no question. would they be crazy alien puppets, like the guys on sesame street (who always scare me, btw)? or would they be more of the fraggle rock variety?

and then i see… the puppet. not puppets, but puppet. and it looks like a life-sized anime barbie doll with blue hair, glowing eyes and no clothes.

that was it.

and it didn’t even MOVE! it just hung from some sort of wire while it “spoke” to kanye about how the shooting stars were totally in love with him, cos he is the “most famous hip hop star in the world.” and so they decided to use their radiance to fuel his ship!

ok!

so then the ship started to take off (the square stage in the middle with lights all around the edges, that looked pretty cool, actually) but there wasn’t enough energy so it crashed again. then kanye said he needed to have sex, so jane, the computer, made herself into an image on the screen of a scantily glad lady painted in gold. and then she danced for him while he sang, “gold digger.”

and THEN he sang a song about his mom, and i think he genuinely got choked up (which was sweet), but what cheered him up? an excerpt from “don’t stop believin’” by journey! I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP.

AND THEN jane, the computer, said, “kanye, don’t you realize? you’re the brightest star in the galaxy. you have more than enough energy to fuel this ship.” and then he gave his star power to the ship and it blasted off.

THE END

so… yeah. i have never seen anything like this. and i actually mean that in a good way. cos isn’t that kanye’s style? he’s always so over the top and theatrical and the man does everything to the MAX. i admire that about him, honestly.

in addition to the, uh, creative storyline, the lights and fog were pretty amazing, especially the massive background screen. and there were even fireworks!!!!

i wish there had been more fireworks, though. henri was obviously not involved with the making of this show.

after the show, we talked about how strange it was that kanye was the ONLY person on the stage for his ENTIRE show. no dancers, no band (they were in an orchestra pit), nothing. i guess he really does relish the spotlight, but i think it would have been better with at least a few dancers. and maybe, like, some stunts!! yes!! stunts!!

i guess there’s only a few bands that can really generate a high level of energy in an arena or stadium setting, so that the audience feels like they’re genuinely connected with the performer. justin definitely made that feeling happen, and i have to say, U2 (i know, there’s lots of haters out there) is a master at making the crowd feel like they are united by passion and love and they can CHANGE THE WORLD TOGETHER.

so yeah, i enjoyed the spectacle of it all, but i’m ready to head back to emo’s and force my way through a sweaty crowd wreaking of beer and cigarettes, all in the name of music.

now, are ya’ll ready to feel my energy?

LINKS

have you guys seen the new chromeo video? it’s no “needy girl,” but it’s still pretty great. also? how weird is it that i saw it on perez hilton? uh, yeah.

selina sent me this hilarious blog entry about a sex and the city promo photo. all i can say is, double true. and also, can someone get me a cosmo?

i know everyone is kinda hating on the new hulk movie, but this trailer makes it seem kiiiinda cool.

YES! gandalf returns!