Archive for April 14th, 2008

YARR! PIRATE PANTS!

AHOY, MATEYS!!!!!!

so, some of you may recall the white boat party that henri and i threw back in 2006 (in fact, MANY of you were there). well, since that party was such a blast, we swore that we’d throw another one, but make it even bigger and even better.

how, you may ask, is it possible to improve on an event as illustrious and infamous as the white party?

well, there are two ways.

one, enlist the resources of the alamo, so you can invite a bigger crowd, get bartenders and throw in lots of special tricks.

two, come up with an awesome theme. loveboat? no. little mermaid? NOT EVEN. in fact, there’s only one theme capable of embodying our lust for life, our cavalier attitudes, our inclination towards hipster fashion… and that theme, my friends, is PIRATES!!!! YARRRR!!!

on saturday, we all drove up to lake travis to once again board The Ark (TM), only this time, we looked a lot more DANGEROUS.

here’s the captain of our ship, the feared and maligned DrafthouseHenriBeard!

i have to say, drafthousehenribeard has a really fine lookin’ crew. just check out these swashbucklers:

it’s true, even when meredith and i are pirates, we have to wear pink. it’s just a rule.

beware of jessica and amber… they don’t need swords, cos their SQUEE will kill you!

all hands on deck!

just two pirates on the sea of love…

YARRR ENGAGE(ed)!!!!!

don’t mess with pirate teresa. she’ll toss you overboard faster than you can say “scurvy.”

john arrived at the party with a (real) black eye. THAT’s how dedicated he is. and we even had a crew sail all the way from houston!

i’d like to note that william probably had v. little idea of what he was getting into. you can tell by talena’s face that she totally does.

show us yr ink, lass!

there was a LOT of facial hair on the boat, but my vote goes for mandy.

henri and david are hoping to be cast in the next prince video.

seriously, you guys, i was *impressed* by the amount of amazing, creative costumes on the boat, i mean, PIRATE SHIP. in fact, i decided to walk around (on my sea legs!) and take pictures of random strangers.

i really wish this flag had been pillowing from our mast… if we had a mast.

note this guy’s peg leg, which probably got reeeeally annoying after a few hours.

oh hai, monkey!!

our ship was so cool, we even had the dread pirate roberts on board! not to mention karrie, who is, dare i say, even more fearsome?

since everyone only had a few stereotypes to go on, there were a TON of (non-real) parrots perched atop people’s shoulders. actually, we did have a live one.

we trolled the seas before deciding to dock on a small island, where we encountered our sworn enemies: Frat Guys and Sorority Wenches.

our victims attempted to utilize their weak weapons of defense, which included shirt removal, exotic dancing and even a few exposed buttocks, but they were clearly afraid of our pirate pants and quickly departed. we toyed with the idea of pursuing them and throwing their keg overboard, but instead we decided to search the island for treasure!

here’s henri, giving careful treasure hunt directions. note the amount of pirate hats in this picture. awesome.

before the party, henri and i boated out to the island and threw (fake) gold doubloons everywhere. it was like a combination of “castaway” and mardi gras. so the crew of our ship had to scour the island and collect as much gold as they could find (to be redeemed for the ultimate treasure, free drinks!), but first, they had to face the ominous rocks that lined the shore.

note dread pirate roberts, totally putting his “cliffs of insanity” skills to good use.

i thought a boat full of pirates looked amazing enough, but this?! it was like my goonies dreams had COME TO LIFE.

a few of my pirate comrades fell by the wayside, mostly due to high heel issues.

jessica, however, was determined to get her share of the booty. cos jessica loves booty.

considering that there were only a few hundred coins scattered around, i was impressed that people actually *found* any. check out talena’s score:

i now have to take a minute and show off my TOTALLY POSH DELUXE pirate costume. cos it was pink and shiny and pretty and obviously indicates that i would spend most of my time on the high seas in a ritzy cabin with lots of tea cookies (NO HARDTACK) and perhaps a monkey to amuse me.

cabin boy, bring me some cupcakes!

speaking of cabin boy, i love this photo i took of chris, shortly after he struck gold near the water.

back on board, we were spontaneously serenaded by a pirate minstrel. he asked henri if he could play a song, and henri said, “sure… but you won’t like how it ends.”

how did it end, you ask? like all pirate stories… WITH THE PLANK!

captain tim arrived on a separate boat (which, might i add, he damaged with a flame thrower), commandeered the ship and forced henri and the minstrel to walk the plank and jump into the cold, dark, shark-infested (well, maybe) depths of the sea.

as you can see, henri did so with valor and courage.

if you listen closely, you can hear the sound of our pirate bard overcoming the plank of wood.

tim couldn’t help himself and decided to jump in as well. cos he is CRAY CRAY.

thankfully, the might sea relinquished drafthousehenribeard so that he could live to host another sing-along.

as night fell and the set by car stereo wars began, we began to do what pirates do best: pAAARRRRty!!!

i love how the sunset looks like the airbrushed background in a portrait studio.

it was time to get our JIG ON, and teresa shows you how.

i’m sorry, but when you have to watch out for *swords* at a dance party, that’s awesome.

amber shivers her timbers!

we even had a pirate do some break dancing.

erica and i considered challenging him to a battle, but we’re still perfecting our moves.

why yes, that is a hornpipe in my pocket and i *am* happy to see you.

jessica, can you please define FIERCE for me? kthx.

earlier in the evening, we slaughtered a parrot pinata (sorry, i didn’t get any pics), and like a true pirate, matt wore the body of our victim as trophy. is he tough or what?

josh introduced me to a new way of taking pictures: SKY CAM!!!!

i like to pretend we’re all looking at a mast that’s about to come crashing down. that would be a total buzz kill, btw.

there was plenty of pirate speak on board, and guess what? IT NEVER GOT OLD. in fact, i think i’m going to keep saying YAR! whenever i get mad or excited. cos YAR!

tim kept calling meredith a strumpet, which i thought was great.

the ship docked around eleven, but did the party end there? OF COURSE NOT! we’re pirates, not pansies!

so we headed to the best place in austin for pirates… treasure island on sixth street, OF COURSE!

first of all, there was a line. a LINE. WHY?!!!!!

fortunately, we had no trouble getting in, since the bouncers could tell that we were OBVIOUSLY real pirates and would therefore slay them if we were denied admittance.

also? sorority girls LOVE pirates.

several members of the crew turned up to shake their bootys, including our v. own minstrel. AVAST, amber!

hey, uh, captain drafthousehenribeard. you’ve got, uh, something in yr teeth. no… it’s not salted pork…

i think our pirate ancestors would have been proud of our swashbuckling antics, esp. given the fact that we are all landlubbers with no actual sailing skills. plus, no one got lice or ended up in davy jone’s locker! for most pirates, i think that means it was a pretty awesome night.

YARRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!

p.s. haven’t had enough of this pirate goodness? check out erin’s blog for an excellent recap!