Poshdeluxe

britney spears: piece of me (i can’t decide if i’m posting this song out of irony or downright seriousness)

i will heed hilary’s plea (via the comment section) and use today’s entry to address the GLOBAL ISSUE of jamie lynn’s pregnancy. i realize that this is both silly and kiiiinda disgusting, but it’s also extremely depressing. not as depressing as darfur or the congo, obvs, but it made me sigh heavily about our culture.

first, in case you don’t, say, log on to yr celebrity blog rss feeds before yr lips have even touched yr first cup of coffee every morning, jamie lynn spears, sister of ye olde trainwreck, is pregnant. here are the facts:

jamie lynn is 16.

her boyfriend is 19.

they met at church!

jamie lynn and her mom, lynne, sold the story of her pregnancy to ok! magazine for $1 million dollars. and actually, jamie lynn won’t get the moolah until she pops out the baby and participates in an exclusive photo shoot.

lynne’s book on parenting has been shelved until further notice (SHOCKER OF THE CENTURY).

jamie lynn says she’s 12 weeks preggers, but other sources say she’s about five months. in fact, the national enquirer leaked the story back in july and received the following letter from jamie lynn’s lawyers (c/o perez):

“Ms. Spears is a devout Christian with a spotless reputation, who lives in accordance with the highest moral and ethical standards in accordance with her faith.

There is no “rumor” concerning Ms. Spears’ (non-existent) pregnancy, except perhaps for the baseless “rumor” just now being created by the National Enquirer.

Ms. Spears is not pregnant. It is pathetic for the National Enquirer to attempt to create a wholly baseless “rumor” that Ms. Spears is pregnant, so it can run a malicious story and false story which would be emotionally devastating to a morally upright 16 year old girl.”

wow. talk about FACE HARD.

the entire blogosphere is discussing this development. feministing notes nickelodeon’s use of the word “responsibility” in their official statement about jamie lynn, while jezebel discusses the movie “juno” and whether or not it glamorizes teen pregnancy (btw, jamie lynn and her mom saw the movie over the weekend).

the thing is, part of me is really just disgusted by the spears family in general. even more, i’m disgusted that i want to read about these people, although after today, i really wish i could add a “spears” filter to my rss feeds (can i get a “paris hilton” filter with that as well?). and, before i offend anyone, i’m not really disgusted about the pregnancy itself, but by the fact that lynne is using her daughter’s extremely massive, super vulnerable life change to rake in the cash.

teen pregnancy happens all of the time in this country, and it makes me sad. really sad. i guess that’s why i’m writing about a silly, teenage nickelodeon star on my blog (seriously, wtf).

i mean, is jamie lynn ready for this change? how could she be?! when i read this quote, my heart really broke:

“[I'm] looking forward to being the best mom I can be…I’m the one who has to live with it for the rest of my life…I put myself in this position, an adult position, so I have to act like an adult and take responsibility for what I did.”

is this how you talk about a baby?

and then hollywood moms make it look so easy. heidi klum is back on the runway, what, two weeks after she birthed a child? angelina jolie jet sets around the world with her toddlers, and katie holmes has the best dressed, cutest kid in the entire world (suri, holla!). i’m not ragging on these people, i’m just saying that motherhood is a lot tougher than the glossy spreads you see in “people.” i’m not a mom, obvs, but i think this is a pretty educated guess.

eh, is this entry getting too preachy for you?

well, hilary asked for some psychoanalysis, and here are some questions i LOVE to ask jamie lynn, if i got the chance:

1. do you know what a condom is?

2. do you realize that babies come from sex?

3. did you know that a baby will grow up to be a real person that will constantly demand things from you and will have access to the internet?

4. have you, um, noticed yr sister in the past, oh, three years?

5. did you know that you are actually just 16 years old?

sigh.

LINKS

dude. SO MANY LINKS TODAY.

first, meredith sent me the MOST AMAZING SITE I HAVE EVER SEEN: melanie griffith’s official webpage. please visit this site, i mean, “avalon,” immediately. especially if you want to join the “goddess club” or are in need of a “dream room.” the best part? melanie narrates all of the titles of the site!

so, amazon bought j. k. rowling’s hand-written and hand-drawn “tales of beedle the bard.” GAH. never before have i wished that i was a website.

if you were a fan of “the pick-up artist” (best reality show in recent memory, srsly), then you should check out a new show featuring neil strauss (author of “the game”) and parker lewis (FOR REAL) and that dude from “married with children.” i would make a joke here, but ah, i don’t really need to.

the reuters photos of the year are pretty impressive. not as a good as those karaoke photos i took, but still.

attention nerds: pirate bay has music!!!!

i think i mentioned that girlie night has been viewing episodes of the totally awesome canadian series, “degrassi junior high.” well, here’s a great (and highly educational!) clip from one of my favorite episodes (and you gotta love the jezebel commentary:  “dressed as a middle-aged divorcee on a singles cruise in the ’80s”). it makes me wonder if we had degrassi in the U.S., would jamie lynn be preggers?

this judd aptaow skit is pretty funny (it’s got darryl in it from “the office”!!), but the best part is the fact that jonah hill is wearing an alamo t-shirt! score.

in case you missed it, celina posted this list of “50 nerdy things to do before you die” in the comments section yesterday. FYI, i have already accomplished #22.