So, here goes, observations:

1. The VHS box proclaims this to be “The ultimate romantic comedy.” But this is not true. Unfortunately, there have been many romantic comedies since.

2. The movie “Crash” should have been titled “Racism, Actually” because it is the same movie, except about racism.

3. The little boy that you guys love looks like an alien of some sort.

4. And how is it that in the first scene with him, Liam Neeson is talking about how he and the stepson have no relationship and don’t talk, and in the very next scene on the park bench, it’s all like “Yeah dad, you can help me with love! I love you! Fist pump!”

5. For a movie called “Love, Actually” there seems to be very little actual love in it. More like lust or appearance-based infatuation. Here, I’ll break it down:

5A: Examples of actual love in Love, Actually:
i. The porn couple, who talks and gets to know one another and goes on innocent dates and falls in love with one another (prompting a truly out of place/confusing/nonsensical line when she tells him, after an awkward first kiss, “all i want for christmas is you?)
ii. The love between Emma Thompson and her kids, which is quite touching because you know how much strength she had to muster to put aside her husband’s crushing infidelity.

5B: Examples of Appearance-Based Infatuation in Love Actually:
i. The dude who is in love with his best friend’s wife, Kiera Knightly. Yes, we know she’s hot. But you don’t love her. You have never talked to her in your life, and she thinks you hate her. You don’t know her at all. You just noticed that she’s hot and the decided to proclaim your love to your best friend’s wife. Classy.
ii. The writer-guy and his Portuguese maid. You can’t even talk to one another. She mocks you in her language. You notice that she’s hot, and cleans up after you, and jumps in a cold lake when she loses your book. You don’t know her. You just noticed that she’s hot.
iii. Hugh Grant falling in love with his not-actually-chunky caterer. You don’t talk to her, she just brings you chocolate cookies and tea, and then curses and gets embarrassed. You don’t know each other at all. She just looks like “your type” as your sister says.

6. Hugh Grant plays Hugh Grant. Good casting. Nobody else can really do “affable, befuddled, lovably self effacing” like Hugh Grant. I think maybe he has a deal with the screen actor’s guild that he is required to get the Hugh Grant part in every movie, because otherwise he would have starved to death by now.

7. Anyone ever notice the prevelance of “old guy, hot young woman” in this movie? The writer-dude and the hot young Portuguese maid. Hugh Grant and his caterer. The dude from Harry Potter and the slutty coworker.

8. The Wisconsin Episode: Of course it’s not believable. It’s comic farce. And I thought it was pretty funny. I kept expecting that it would be a movie dream sequence, but the fact that it wasn’t = ironic comedy goodness.

9. The Emma Thompson/Dude from Harry Potter vignette really was the most gripping and powerful one. And probably closest to reality.

All in all, I give this movie 1.25 unicorns (that’s my pants scale).

But I do love the colin firth story and although i think the setup for the affair storyline felt forced, emma thompson does rock.

Natalie rocks too.

I love when the PM goes door to door knocking on doors to find Natalie, I think that is just well amazing. Nothing short of perfection on film. I loved it so much. However the extension of that scene, with the young girl, and the boy, it was cute, but it seemed lacking something. It was so much work and it seemed to kind of fall flat for me, I never know why becuase the resolution is good.

The queue card scene, is wonderful, it is just amazing. It gets me every time.

Alan Rickman, and the wife, need to be there, we need to see that these types of little mistakes, can destroy everything you really want in life. Tarty sluts do not equal happiness, and little slip ups can destroy true happiness with the one you love.

Take that JOHN!!!

laci, you are so right. here’s me, when i watch that scene:

OMG, rodrigo is so hott… YES! they are finally kissing!… OMG rodrigo is taking off his shirt… YES! make out with him!!!… no, don’t answer yr phone. PUT THE PHONE DOWN. no! don’t– ARG… ok, go back to kissing, good good… rodrigo! HOTNESS!… WHAT? do NOT pick up that phone, woman. DO NOT PICK UP THAT PHONE… I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS! WHAT ARE YOU THINKING? LOOK AT HIM!!!!!… did you just tell yr brother you’re going to visit him? THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE. woman, i’m through with you. rodrigo, come over here.

the end.

I love all the stories in this movie. My favorites are the tragi-romance with Keira Knightly, Colin Firth and the Portuguese girl and Laura Linney and hot Brazilian guy. OMG! Yes, just put down that phone and that man do wonderfully nasty things to you girl!

The relationship between Sam and Liam Neeson is wonderful and that kid is too cute. Emma Thompson is absolutely brilliant. I cry too when she breaks down in her bedroom but pulls it together so the family can go to the Christmas play with the lobsters and octopi. Yes, wretched, evil devil girl. Although I think that’s the only reason my husband will watch this movie with me. She is truly evil!

I’m seriously considering going to Target and buying this movie on my lunch break and watching it at work. Yes, that’s how obsessive I am. Thanks for writing the blog that “clearly, CLEARLY” needed to be written. It has made my day!