Oh God, I’m about to seriously comment on this movie.

First, the sweet tragi-romance with Keira Knightley would never work in real life. I’m just saying. And not even in a ‘real life isn’t like the movies’ way, more like the boyfriend would get off his behind to answer the door for the first time ever way, and things would be weird.

Secondly, the guy who goes to America to shag people is awesome. He’s the only funny thing in this BBC show called ‘My Family’ or something. Just because his storyline doesn’t make girls cry doesn’t mean it’s useless.

Thirdly, Martine McCutcheon is famous almost entirely for Eastenders, and her singing career has been only slightly more successful than that of Jennifer Love Hewitt’s. I like Martine McCutcheon because she’s extremely fit, and this has always gone down well with girls because apparently Martine has a ‘real’ body. Whatever that means.

Finally, and this is important because it makes sense and I don’t really find myself too happy to be defending Richard Curtis, the Alan Rickman storyline makes perfect sense. The whole point is that he’s being a moronic middle-aged man, cheating on his attractive and fairly cool wife with a slut that works in the office. It’s a bit of a bummer, and I personally hate infidelity in movies (just can’t handle it at all), but the whole point is that his feelings for the secretary aren’t romantic, he just really wants to do nasty things to her and handles the whole thing badly. That is to say, when he should take a cold shower and do something cool with Emma Thompson, he goes off and buys something fancy for the slut. He’s a moron, in other words. And a lot of men are morons. Most, in fact.

We can’t all be Colin Firth.

Oh yeah, and that Bill Nighy version of the song with weird ‘Christmas sitars’ is pretty bloody funny.

The original Wet Wet Wet song was number one in the UK and Ireland for about a hundred years. It was so depressing. For some reason, it was inescapable. EVERY WEEK I had to listen it. Then we had that Bryan Adams Robin Hood song at number one for even longer after that!! Or were they the other way around? Either way. Look up Wet Wet Wet.

I just love the fact that John’s comments were almost as long as the post, but that’s the point, isn’t it? This movie inspires a lot of deeply held emotions.

I personally like the Alan Rickman storyline because it sets up that amazing display of acting by Emma Thompson, whom I love more than life. She’s so fabulous and perfect and could probably draw on her own personal experiences because Kenneth Branagh left her for creepy Helena Bonham Carter. I know at the time there was a lot of Oscar buzz for her performance but I don’t remember it.

I love the wedding in the church where, quite unrealiztically, all of these musicians jump up and play. But still a fun scene.

I can’t believe the porn stand in couple haven’t been mentioned. Oh wait. Yes I can. That was kind of a useless story line, except for the ironic twist of they’re porn stand ins but got married before they shagged.

I love Colin Firth (seriously, John, why can’t all men be Colin Firth???) and liked his storyline. His own brother screws him over and he leaves the country. He falls for the sweet Portuguese girl and they learn to overcome language barriers. For some reason I quote the cafe scene.

I loved Natalie and the Prime Minister. She was so sweet and so real. It would tick me off that other characters would call her chubby (like his admin person) and she WASN’T!! She was so real!

And why were there lobsters and octupi at the first Christmas?

I won’t swoon any more over Mark… wow… (sigh). Still his reaction (run, run, run) when she finds out why he’s been avoiding her and he goes out into the street and screams in the middle and then just stalks off… Love it. So intense.

And how can you not like a movie that has Rowan Atkinson at one of his best scenes. “The flashest of flashes”. I want a gift wrapped like that!

How do you even begin to leave a comment about such a complex and emotional movie. First off props to Poshdeluxe. I mean how were you able to concentrate all your thoughts into this one blog entry.

I completely agree with almost everything shared in the blog..maybe not the comments. My FAV story line was definately Mark..both the que card and the watching the wedding tape scenes make the movie.
It is a close call cause I also love the Prime Minister line.

I personally like the porn stand in story line. So random and cute and well I love it. What needs to go is the guy going to America. I mean not all story lines need to be emotional…but that was pretty silly. Wisconsin? Can’t afford pajamas? Besides what man would think his accent could get him women….

Love Emma Thompson..can’t stand devil girl. And what about Laura Linney..soo frustrating and sad….I just can’t go on anymore..too many thoughts and emotions.

Oh..and thanks for the updates on the stars…I was wondering..

hi sarah – i’m delurking to say these two words.

rodrigo santoro.

laura linney, for the love of god, throw your damn cell phone out the damn window! flush it down the toilet. melt it in the oven. whatever you have to do to give rodrigo santoro the attention he so rightly deserves.

and stop calling your brother babe – that kinda freaks me out.

being a girl, eden is obsessed with this movie. i have to admit – the scene at peter and juliet’s wedding with the choir singing “all you need is love” is pretty sweet. oh, and the bacon chocolate chip cookies – so interesting. there’s no middle ground when you look at the pictures. you are either excited or just vomited. i did the latter unfortunately.

Yeah, it’s all about the Billy Mack storyline to me. The first time I saw the movie I was all sad for him and the manager, cause everyone else is all falling in love and stuff and they just sort of have each other. Then I woke up out of my emotional cheese coma and realized that their deal is way cooler than all the other characters, because Billy would never show up at the door and rip off Bob Dylan to show his manager how much he loved him; he’d just buy him some coke or whores instead. And *that’s* love, people! That’s love.

Actually…

And yeah, the guy who moves to America to get laid? Gross, yes. Necessary to the film? Yup. It’s him and Billy Mack that give the guys something to care about while we sit through all the scenes of the mushy stuff. You could pull both of them out, but then you’d have to give me some Bruce Willis fighting a jet.

Oh my god! Why doesn’t Bruce Willis fight a jet in the middle of Love Actually? That would be the Perfect Movie!

And really, EVERY movie could be improved by more Bruce Willis v. A Jet scenes.

Love Actually! Yay! I need to buy this movie cause I’ve been sitting around all month waiting for it to come on TV and it hasn’t. The first time I saw this movie I was completely confused and wasn’t sure I liked it. But I watched it again about a year later and was totally entranced and decided my head needed to be examined for not liking it at first.

I love all the stories in this movie. My favorites are the tragi-romance with Keira Knightly, Colin Firth and the Portuguese girl and Laura Linney and hot Brazilian guy. OMG! Yes, just put down that phone and that man do wonderfully nasty things to you girl!

The relationship between Sam and Liam Neeson is wonderful and that kid is too cute. Emma Thompson is absolutely brilliant. I cry too when she breaks down in her bedroom but pulls it together so the family can go to the Christmas play with the lobsters and octopi. Yes, wretched, evil devil girl. Although I think that’s the only reason my husband will watch this movie with me. She is truly evil!

I’m seriously considering going to Target and buying this movie on my lunch break and watching it at work. Yes, that’s how obsessive I am. Thanks for writing the blog that “clearly, CLEARLY” needed to be written. It has made my day!

john, yr serious commentary is much appreciated. and i take yr point about alan rickman’s character just being a complete idiot due to midlife crisis, etc. etc. see? this is why it’s important to have the male perspective.

laci, you are so right. here’s me, when i watch that scene:

OMG, rodrigo is so hott… YES! they are finally kissing!… OMG rodrigo is taking off his shirt… YES! make out with him!!!… no, don’t answer yr phone. PUT THE PHONE DOWN. no! don’t– ARG… ok, go back to kissing, good good… rodrigo! HOTNESS!… WHAT? do NOT pick up that phone, woman. DO NOT PICK UP THAT PHONE… I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS! WHAT ARE YOU THINKING? LOOK AT HIM!!!!!… did you just tell yr brother you’re going to visit him? THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE. woman, i’m through with you. rodrigo, come over here.

the end.

I think John is wrong about Keira Knightley, because I like her.

Take that JOHN!!!

One of the very few 5 star movies I gave out that year. This movie wins in so many ways that it is hard to even count.

I love when the PM goes door to door knocking on doors to find Natalie, I think that is just well amazing. Nothing short of perfection on film. I loved it so much. However the extension of that scene, with the young girl, and the boy, it was cute, but it seemed lacking something. It was so much work and it seemed to kind of fall flat for me, I never know why becuase the resolution is good.

The queue card scene, is wonderful, it is just amazing. It gets me every time.

Alan Rickman, and the wife, need to be there, we need to see that these types of little mistakes, can destroy everything you really want in life. Tarty sluts do not equal happiness, and little slip ups can destroy true happiness with the one you love.

There are just way too many awesome things about this movie. Some of my personal faves are the Colin Firth romance, the prime minister dude and Natalie, musician and manager, and Liam Neeson and son. And props to Laci for bringing up Rodrigo..I third that!! If you want more of him watch lots of Brazilian movies as I have done . I also love Laura Linney and was so depressed with her story.
OMG…I don’t care what stupid boys say…the dude going to America to shag story HAS GOT TO GO!!!! I would appreciate it if it was at all funny but as Erica pointed out the dialogue was awful! Ok, back to the looooooove

I can’t believe I forgot about Rodrigo Santoro– ie Male Perfection. He is so amazingly gorgeous. I think that’s why I hated that storyline. I was so angry at her for finally getting the guy and then throwing it away. But I do love the moment where she runs upstairs (or around the corner or something) and does this little happy dance thing. I know exactly (especially recently) how exhilarating it is to finally (finally!) have that moment with the guy you’ve wanted and all you want to do is run into the bathroom and go “yes! yes! yes!” to get it out of your system and then go back and kiss the hell out of him.

Octopus kid in the limo. Favorite. Moment. Ever.

I can’t even deal with how happy this movie makes me right now – but the Brooks Brothers catalog link-train-of-thought led me to this. http://www.candyboots.com/wwcards.html Have you seen these before?

I have to say that I agree with the one comment about the whole keira knightley and best friend scene wouldn’t work. First, it wouldn’t help them to get along better,it would make things worse. Second, he needed to just get over it. I don’t know, that storyline in the movie just bugs me.

But I do love the colin firth story and although i think the setup for the affair storyline felt forced, emma thompson does rock.

Natalie rocks too.

Ok, just a few thoughts. I just saw this movie for the first time ever on Saturday night, so bear with me. I don’t know everyone’s name and I haven’t studied it as intently as yall have. Also, I am not that bright.

So, here goes, observations:

1. The VHS box proclaims this to be “The ultimate romantic comedy.” But this is not true. Unfortunately, there have been many romantic comedies since.

2. The movie “Crash” should have been titled “Racism, Actually” because it is the same movie, except about racism.

3. The little boy that you guys love looks like an alien of some sort.

4. And how is it that in the first scene with him, Liam Neeson is talking about how he and the stepson have no relationship and don’t talk, and in the very next scene on the park bench, it’s all like “Yeah dad, you can help me with love! I love you! Fist pump!”

5. For a movie called “Love, Actually” there seems to be very little actual love in it. More like lust or appearance-based infatuation. Here, I’ll break it down:

5A: Examples of actual love in Love, Actually:
i. The porn couple, who talks and gets to know one another and goes on innocent dates and falls in love with one another (prompting a truly out of place/confusing/nonsensical line when she tells him, after an awkward first kiss, “all i want for christmas is you?)
ii. The love between Emma Thompson and her kids, which is quite touching because you know how much strength she had to muster to put aside her husband’s crushing infidelity.

5B: Examples of Appearance-Based Infatuation in Love Actually:
i. The dude who is in love with his best friend’s wife, Kiera Knightly. Yes, we know she’s hot. But you don’t love her. You have never talked to her in your life, and she thinks you hate her. You don’t know her at all. You just noticed that she’s hot and the decided to proclaim your love to your best friend’s wife. Classy.
ii. The writer-guy and his Portuguese maid. You can’t even talk to one another. She mocks you in her language. You notice that she’s hot, and cleans up after you, and jumps in a cold lake when she loses your book. You don’t know her. You just noticed that she’s hot.
iii. Hugh Grant falling in love with his not-actually-chunky caterer. You don’t talk to her, she just brings you chocolate cookies and tea, and then curses and gets embarrassed. You don’t know each other at all. She just looks like “your type” as your sister says.

6. Hugh Grant plays Hugh Grant. Good casting. Nobody else can really do “affable, befuddled, lovably self effacing” like Hugh Grant. I think maybe he has a deal with the screen actor’s guild that he is required to get the Hugh Grant part in every movie, because otherwise he would have starved to death by now.

7. Anyone ever notice the prevelance of “old guy, hot young woman” in this movie? The writer-dude and the hot young Portuguese maid. Hugh Grant and his caterer. The dude from Harry Potter and the slutty coworker.

8. The Wisconsin Episode: Of course it’s not believable. It’s comic farce. And I thought it was pretty funny. I kept expecting that it would be a movie dream sequence, but the fact that it wasn’t = ironic comedy goodness.

9. The Emma Thompson/Dude from Harry Potter vignette really was the most gripping and powerful one. And probably closest to reality.

All in all, I give this movie 1.25 unicorns (that’s my pants scale).

i loved this movie, and what a great post written by you. i feel like i’m having a conversation with u and hearing your opinions instead of reading some sort of film review. i agree – this film definitely has a lot of different storylines and that there is always something new to discover. cool that u made a chart pointing how everyone relates to each other!