Poshdeluxe

billy mack: christmas is all around

olivia olson: all i want for christmas is you

the most highly anticipated blog entry of the year has arrived! TODAY I AM WRITING ABOUT “LOVE, ACTUALLY”!!!! I KNOOOW!

ok well i’m kind of kidding. obvs you guys aren’t all obsessed with this movie like i am. but… most of you are. clearly. CLEARLY.

just for fun, here’s the belarusian version of the movie poster:

i totally dig hugh grant’s fro in that picture.

“researching” this movie was waaaay more fun than the last paper i worked on (and turned in on monday! i’m done for the semester!! hollaaaa!). first, i watched the movie yesterday at girlie night. and let me tell you, there wasn’t a dry eye in the house by the end of it, even though between the four of us, we’d seen this movie about 80 times. then i went online and found some pictures and “fun facts” to share with you. and so now i present to you the fruit of my efforts.

if you’ve never seen “love, actually,” you… well… WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING? is yr heart still beating?!! please stop what you’re doing, rent this movie (actually, you should buy it, cos you will totally want to watch it again) and then come back and read this entry and leave me a comment thanking me profusely for changing yr life.

ok, so, if you’ve seen “love actually,” you know that it features about a billion different storylines. i actually love that about this movie, but it can be a little overwhelming. here is a handy chart i found to help you navigate through the various plots:

last night, the girls and i discussed our most favorite and least favorite storylines. we all agreed that the “i’m going to america to get shagged cos i have a british accent” storyline is the weakest and most expendable. it’s a dumb idea, and that guy is really, really gross. especially when he starts to eat an appetizer (while serving them) and then puts it back on the plate. THAT IS NASTY. just cos tom hanks can get away with it in “big” is NOT an open license for all other movie characters.

speaking of that scene– you know, every time i watch this movie, i discover something new, either about the movie or about an innermost part of my soul. and last night, i noticed that the caterer that gross shag boy totally offends is none other than julia davis, start of the funniest british show ever, “nighty night.” GAH i LOVE that show. “hiii, cath.”

anyway, the presence of julia davis, even for just thirty seconds, makes “love, actually” even MORE awesome than i thought it was. which is, like, theory of relativity-level mind blowing.

the other storyline that drives me CRAZY is alan rickman cheating on emma thompson. i don’t want to remove this particular plotline, cos i heart alan rickman (even though he is such an ass in this movie) and emma thompson’s breakdown scene in her bedroom makes me cryyyyyy. but honestly, the dialogue between alan rickman and the devil secretary girl? it’s like, porn dialogue. there are no dimensions in their relationship AT ALL. couldn’t richard curtis (the writer) have *tried* to make us feel even a little torn about the situation? i mean, the girl wears DEVIL HORNS to the employee xmas party. i HATE her. it’s all just so fake and blah blah blah. i just wish i liked her, even a little, so i could struggle like alan rickman appears to do. instead i yell at her face every time she appears on the screen. HATE HER.

ok, enough with the bad stuff.

my favorite favorite favorite storyline is totes billy mack and his manager.

it’s funny and campy and sweet, not to mention a rather good social commentary on pop music today (i’m serious). and i think it’s great that the movie includes platonic love, cos that’s just as important– in fact, more so– than romantic love. plus that song is awesome. i’ve been listening to it at work every single day since thanksgiving.

ok, well, i have two favorites. i LOVE billy mack, but i also looooooove the juliet/mark tragi-romance. it’s beautiful and heart-breaking and GAAAAAHHH IT KILLS ME.

in fact, let’s watch that scene right now:

SIIIIIIGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH

ok shakeitoffshakeitoffshakeitoffshakeitoff.

i love how this storyline makes me feel sad and happy at the same time. in a way, it’s a lot like how christmas makes me feel. there are parts that are wonderous and amazing and incredible, but then there are the times when you’re thinking about the past or old friends or ways yr life has changed, and you feel a bit melancholy, a bit solemn. all of us have had to give up on certain things, or walk away from opportunities, and sometimes those decisions haunt us more during the holidays.

i think that’s why the mark and juliet situation really gets to me. i mean, yeah, the romantic in me swoons, but there’s always a part of me that feels strangely exhilarated, because it’s like pain i have known, but it’s beautiful too, because it’s just part of being alive.
ok, wow, i am getting way too cheesy here. see? this is what “love, actually” does to me. it’s kind of a problem.

anyway, i looked up andrew lincoln, cos he is WAY too fine not to be making more movies, but it looks like he’s just doing british stuff. LAME. however, i did find out this little tidbit:

apple martin, the daughter of coldplay’s chris martin and gwyneth paltrow, served as a flower girl at his wedding.

awwww!!! that is sooo sweet!! of COURSE she did!!!

speaking of scenes, my other two favorite scenes both feature hugh grant. first, his AMAZING dance sequence to one of the best songs of all time, “jump” by the pointer sisters.

i get SO EXCITED when this part comes on!!!!! i totally jump up and down in my seat and do his finger pointing move and everything!!

my other favorite part is when he and natalie are in the taxi with the octopus kid between them. there is something so poignant and ridiculous about that scene that i just LAUGH and go “AWWW!” at the same time. i didn’t know my body was capable of exuding both of those emotions so intensely and simultaneously. again, that’s the power of “love, actually.”

speaking of natalie, HOW CUTE IS SHE?!!!

why hasn’t SHE been making any american movies? i looked her up, and it turns out that natalie (real name: martine mccutcheon) was once in a GIRL BAND called milan. that is awesome. and then she got famous from appearing on the british show “eastenders.” apparently she still has quite a singing career, but helloooo. i want to see more of yr cute face and button nose! on the big screen! make it happen!

of course she’s not QUITE as precious as the little kid who plays sam.

i just want to ruffle his hair SO BADLY throughout the entire film. i decided to look up sam to determine if he really was a Son of the Elven People, and IMDB told me that he’s actually cousins with hugh grant! neat! also, his dad taught him how to play drums for the movie, which is the MOST PRECIOUS THING EVER.

and then there was this quote:

“I find it weird the way people get so excited about celebrity. If my friends are on the phone, their friends will say: ‘Is that kid from Love Actually there?’ And the phone gets passed round and I have to speak to this stranger asking: ‘Are you famous?’ I don’t know how to answer.”

OMG!!!! adorable!!!

it’s been a few years since “love, actually” came out (2003), so i wondered if he had lost his cuteness via growing up.

nope, he hasn’t.

braces!!!!! EEEE!!! and is that a leather tie? wow.

anyway, i could go on and on (i really could), but i’ll leave the rest of it up to you guys in the comment section (it’s obvious that this is a Deeply Affecting Issue).

needless to say, i really do love this movie. it makes me happy, it makes me a little sad, it makes me excited about xmas, and you know? it makes me excited about love. THERE! I SAID IT! i have officially gone over the edge of cheesiness. i cannot be saved.

i leave you with mr. bean’s amazing scene from the film, which really did change the way i view gift-wrapping.

LINKS

OMG! betsey johnson’s penthouse is for sale!! and it’s pink!! just in time for my xmas list!!

the jezebel girls comment hilariously on yet another d to the readful catalog, the brooks brothers.

i am so in love with this newly identified animal, the jerboa. look at its huge ears and weetle face!!

speaking of love, i got kinda teary reading this particular wedding story in the times.

there has been an AMAZING breakthrough in cookie technology: bacon chocolate chip cookies. i know, it sounds gross, but just check out the recipe. i am seriously making these. and then i’m NOT SHARING.