culturelux
the notebook: posh d. vs. nicholas sparks
in addition to celebrating kc at girlie night on monday, we also watched… “the notebook.”
ok, let me just say that not only had i never seen this movie before, but i also actively resisted seeing it for several reasons. one, my “competitor” on chemistry 101, nicole (the massage therapist from arkansas) loved loved LOVED this movie. after we discussed her distaste for subtitles (my favorite movie choice was “amelie”), she went OFF about “the notebook” and how AMAZING it was and how the old couple dies in each other’s arms because they totally have TRUE LOVE and her speech ended with the repetitive shrieking of, “i want that. I… WANT… THAT!”
that was a big reason.
the other main obstacle between me and a viewing of “the notebook” is the fact that it’s based on a book by nicholas sparks.
i hate nicholas sparks. he’s like the thomas kinkade of best-selling authors.
and yes, i *have* read one of his books, so this is actually an informed opinion. and no, i will never, ever, ever get those three hours of my life back.
in the winter of 2002, i was traveling with seth e. and ryan to celebrate NYE with our dear friend, amber, in boston. at the airport, i decided to pick up a paperback, and you know, why do i always think this is a good idea at the time and then realize that this has never, ever, EVER been a good idea? ok, with the exception of that allison krausse book i bought. and victoria beckham’s autobiography.
ok so maybe it works out sometimes. anyway, i saw a book with mandy moore on the cover and–
yes, mandy moore was on the cover.
and yes, this is the reason i purchased the book.
and yes, i realize that i’m not really in a place to judge something like “the notebook” when i love mandy moore and will see any movie that she makes, with the exception of that one with robin williams.
but i think you already knew that you can’t *really* trust my judgement when it comes to film (see: my thousand of “you’ve got mail” references on this blog).
ANYWAY
the point is, i bought the nicholas sparks book, “a walk to remember,” cos it was going to be a mandy moore movie, and i was curious about the story.
well, guess what. the book was terrible. thanks for NOTHING, MANDY MOORE!
it was one of those gushy, over-the-top, hyper emotional teen romance stories where there’s a good girl and a rebel boy, and GASP the good girl has cancer, omgggg, AND YOU WILL NEVER BELIEVE THIS BUT THE REBEL BOY FALLS IN LOVE WITH HER and then she changes his life and then she DIES but it’s ok, cos she has given him the power of love and her memory will LIVE ON FOREVER.
even worse, nicholas sparks has about the same writing ability as i did when i was the co-editor-in-chief of our high school’s literary magazine, “graffiti.” i know, AWESOME name. seriously, though, this man cannot write. and he makes all kinds of grammatical errors– aren’t there people out there paid to check this kind of stuff? or did spell check not exist in 2002? it just makes me SO MAD that nicholas spark can make millions of dollars from stories JUST LIKE the ones i sent to merlin’s pen magazine in 1996. stories merlin’s pen REJECTED, btw.
honestly, i was disgusted. i almost threw the book into the trash cos i wanted to make a symbolic gesture so badly. but then i realized i might get a dollar for it at half price books, and hey, it’s a dollar!
so yeah, you can see why i never wanted to watch “the notebook.”
but… it was girlie night. and erica and selina kept saying how much they loved it, even though they admitted that it was cheesy.
AND it has ryan gosling in it, who is hot. PLUS, i love rachael mcadams. not only did she totally rule in “mean girls” (“OMG, i love yr bracelet! where’d you get it?”), but she also wore her hair like this for a while:
anyone who can pull off pink hair *better* than jem DEMANDS RESPECT.
so i settled into erica’s couch and told myself to put away my hatred of nicholas sparks and enjoy the movie for what it is: a sweet, old fashioned romance.
and you know what? i actually did enjoy it. well, mostly.
the chemistry between rachel and ryan is AMAZING. honestly, whenever they kissed, i was glad i wasn’t anywhere in the near vicinity cos i’m pretty sure i would’ve been tazed.
also, rachel’s outfits in the film are exquisite. maybe one day h&m will come out with a line called, “rich girl from the 1940s” so i can dress like this:
the hat! the gloves! the curls!
the “old people in love” part of the movie was nice, too. when i lived over on bull creek, i’d see the same little old couple every morning, walking down the street and holdings hands. it was almost always the best thing i’d see all day.
and holla, gena rowlands looks FANTASTIC! and she’s like seventy-four!
if gena rowlands wrote a book about “how to look like a stone cold fox when you’re seventy-four” i would soooo buy it. especially if mandy moore was on the cover.
so yes, all of these things were fun and great in the movie.
but still, it was just too sappy for me (and that is saying a lot, cos i still tear up during “love, actually” when that guy holds up the signs for kiera knightley to read). i mean, there was the whole war thing and her nurse’s outfit and that scene where they were surrounded by swans in the lake (what WAS that) and this line, “Q: do you think our love can take us away together? A: i think our love can do anything we want it to” and COME ON.
plus, james marsden is never, ever a convincing love interest.
i knew from the minute i saw him in the film that she would choose ryan instead. why? oh, maybe because james marsden NEVER gets picked. like when he was cyclops. or when he was the prince in “enchanted.” i’m sure people in hollywood automatically call his agent any time there is a “guy who seems awesome and attractive but… yeah… i like this other guy better” role in a script.
my personal theory on james marsden is that his face is annoying. but anyway, if they had actually cast someone like, say, timothy olyphant in this role, i might have actually *cared* when rachel mcadams was so “torn” between her two loves and it was such a HARD, GUT-WRENCHING DECISION and blah blah blah. whatever, lady. you’re choosing between annoying face and hottie mchottington. give me a break.
in the end, the movie did make me tear up a little… but only because i was thinking about how rachel and ryan used to date in real life and how they were totally my favorite celebrity couple and seemed so adorable and happy together. and then they broke up.
and i bet they would have looked amazing together at seventy-four.
sigh.
so yeah, the notebook gets two and a half pants out of four from me.
and nicholas sparks, you get NO PANTS! NADA! NOTHING! oh, well, except for my undying contempt.
Discussion
34 comments for “the notebook: posh d. vs. nicholas sparks”
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AH! NEVER EVER POST ANYTHING ABOUT JAMES MARSDEN EVER AGAIN!
Even when you’re saying you hate him, it’s still enough to remind me that he exists, which only makes me angry.
He’s also a chump in SUPERMAN RETURNS, by the way.
[Enchanted Spoiler - read on if you dare to care]
So, if you think about it, Marsden really does get picked – just not by Amy Adams. BTW – Adams is totally getting a Golden Globe nom for that role. Called it. The GGs do stupid crap like that. I don’t think she’ll get any Oscar run, though.
Graffiti!
I remember when you tried to convince people to submit things for Graffiti. And you wrote some story about people who lived next to a nuclear plant or something. Didn’t they have extra body parts or something? Or they all had to migrate? I don’t remember.
If Mandy Moore starred as one of the deformed nucleites in its corresponding film, your story would have sold millions.
I like James Marsden. Based on your description he gets cast to play more interesting, better looking versions of me.
another reason to love the notebook: it’s referenced in “lazy sunday”
I love Love, Actually so much it hurts. When they get in the limo and the kid dressed as an octopus is between them? That is one of my favorite moments in the whole world.
I am so glad I am not the only one in the whole wide world who hates nicholas sparks. Didn’t he write the horse whisperer and city of angels? I can’t remember…but I made a vow years ago to never, ever, ever watch anything originally written by n sparks. Gag.
I liked The Notebookk. I cried at the end.
But I love beyond words Love, Actually. It is one of my favorite movies. Sam is the coolest kid. I love Natalie and the Prime Minister. Colin Firth!
John, do you ever feel like the guy who leaves England to meet women in Wisconsin and they love him because of his accent?
But the favorite is the photographer and the bride. The signs are awesome. His reaction after she finds out why he’s always avoided her (the screaming in the street). I love that man.
John… NO!
If you can stomach it, sit through a James Marsden marathon. Get on IMDB and find out EVERYTHING he’s ever been in. If you find ANY similarities between you and him at the end of that viewing marathon from hell, do everything in your power to scrub that horrific suckiness off of your skin.
Seriously.
Start now, and stop reading other people’s comments. Your life may – no, fuck that – your life *definitely* depends on it.
And not because I’m going to kill you if you don’t, but simply because you will succumb to some random disease of suckitude that hasn’t been discovered yet because scientists don’t bother to study it when people that horrible die.
Henri, I’m confused….. why do I stop reading other people’s comments? Does that mean I wasn’t supposed to read yours…….?
What’s with the Love Actually fetish everyone, incidentally?
And Talena, I do occasionally feel like that guy, but it’s never QUITE that fantastic.
Sorry Henri.
Oh my God, I’m SO with you on all counts. Except I kind of like James Marsden’s annoying face. I do think he needs a new agent–don’t forget, he was also the guy who doesn’t REALLY get picked in Superman Returns! This is how much Hollywood doesn’t like this guy–he’s the alternative guy…to SUPERMAN. Jeez.
Also, hi! I’m Rachel and I read your blog kind of constantly.
We have long lives to live and there is much uncertainty in the world and the future. But I can say this with confidence: I will never, ever, ever, never see The Notebook. It feels good knowing that some things are guaranteed, that you can count on. And I can count on that.
So, Love,Actually was good. But my favorite part is, of course, Colin Firth trying to speak Portuguese. And the singer dude. “I feel it in my fingers…” Awesome.
ok ok OK. stop forcing me to write a blog about love, actually! i hear you! i will, ok? gah.
also, john, henri’s right. please never, ever compare yrself to james marsden again. just say no to self-hatred.
I can already tell I will love the loave actually blog. Can you write it right after we watch it at girlie night..which we must do soon. I must agree with the obsession with Love Actually. It is such an amazing movie. It is like several romantic comedies rolled up into one..LOVE IT!!!
Yes you must write a Love, Actually blog! I cannot express how much I adore that movie. Plus it’s the holidays and the perfect time to watch it. The Notebook was pretty good but a little too much for me. I’m going to be the cynic and say those relationships don’t really exist. There, I said it. Perfect for movies, but that’s where it stays. It’s like that line from Sleepless in Seattle where Rosie O’Donnell says to Meg Ryan, “You don’t want to be in love, you want to be in love in a movie.” I think I’ve been married too long.
Thanks for mentioning Grafitti. I was the poetry co-editor my senior year and it was so much fun. I think I remember your story too. It was really good and I remember thinking I wish I could write like her.
Can I just clarify that I never said that I “loved” The Notebook. I said I liked it and I can appreciate it for the cheesy “romantic” story that it is. So, I know its not the best movie but I am still going to enjoy some of the cheese
..and yes they are hot in this movie. And this movie for sure can’t come anywhere near Love Actually!
love, actually is mark’s favorite movie, and one of my favorites. the little kid sam is so so so darling! and i like nicholas sparks’ books. i’m not saying they’re quality literature or anything, but for a no-brain read, even though they all basically follow the same plot line, they’re good. especially if you need to have a good cry, since they’re all tearjerkers. but i will never inflict one of his books on you. or a movie based on one of his books.
i will drive in for a girlie night featuring “love actually”.
I was going to comment on Marsden in Superman Returns but others beat me to it. I will say I enjoy everything he is in and that I enjoyed the Movie A Walk to Remember. I think it may have been because of Mandy Moore but it was also because it was filmed in the city in NC where I used to live so when I see the movie I can go “I performed an adaptation of Too Wong Foo on that stage where she is singing.” But I kind of like chick flicks so there I said it.
JAMES MARSDEN IS AWESOME PEOPLE!!! GET OVER IT!!!
Obviously, you wouldn’t know love if it hit you upside the head. Love causes pain. Life without love is no life at all.
Nicholas Sparks based his books on real life.
Not every story is a happy ending.
Get over it. Move on.
[...] been meaning to post about this comment (the last one) on my old “the notebook” post because it is basically the most awesome [...]
Nicholas
Spaks is da bomb i love hime and hey if your reading this
Just know that i love you and your books and that i`ll be waiting
for more. Me and my cousin kassandra are looking forward to
meeting you K.K
By the way i think your hot
take is easy!!!!!!
you can’t judge nicholas sparks if you have barely read one book. He is a very good writer, one that you can relate to. And besides you saw movies, everybody knows the movies are different than the books. Keep up the great Work NICHOLAS SPARKS!
What i would like to know is which would be the best book to buy next? The Guardian, or the new one The Choice? Which one, plus there is plenty more to choose from.
I just bought one of Nicholas Sparks books called “the rescue” and the book is amazing, dude you really dont know what your talking about from the begining. I agree with Ashley Morgan, you cant judge nicholas sparks by the movies. In the last book I read, True Believer, I loved the book!!! Especially since it had an ending that truely was amazing. In the end jermey finds out something that Lexie can’t even believe herself.
For the comment mentioned from Celina | December 6, 2007, 3:38 pm, about love, and things like movie love can’t exist, well I for a fact know that, that is not true. Not saying that your a lier or anything, im just saying that I have experienced the “hollywood” love, and it truely was amazing, and it was real not the full hollywood version, but i can say that it was pretty close to the notebook version, except we didn’t die yet. If your interested in hearing my story,let me know.
Haha, yeah, poor James does get a lot of roles where he doesn’t get the girl, but he does have movies where he gets someone in the end it’s just that not a lot of people actually see them, haha. He surprised me in Hairspray and Enchanted.
I agree with Alesha Shire and Ashley Morgan! Nicholas is amazing, some might hate him, like you do. But duh?! You just wasted a certain amount of time maybe even more than an hour just to type about things you hate.
Nicholas Sparks doesn’t care if you hate him anyway, He probabaly doesn’t know you and he is more famous than you, richer than you because reality check: He is not just a New York times bestseller, He is an International Best-selling Author!! Known all around the world!! Unlike you. I doubt if you’ll ever be successful as him. For mocking him like that.
dude,a walk to remember was extremely good.and why are you acting like her having cancer is so common in books?its very uncommon.most people would have been expecting them to live forever together,but no,she dies,and he lives on.plus it wasnt even sappy and gushy.they only kissed three time,held hands like five,and besides that,for the first half of the book he didnt even make a move.it was a great book and a great movie.and the notebook was as well.and you’re so dumb.authors don’t make millions of dollars on books,even if they are best sellers.and don’t be pissed at nicholas sparks just because he actually got to become a successful writer.and don’t compare your crap to his.it got rejected,his didn’t.get over it.and there weren’t even any spelling errors in the book either, dumbass. and the book was published in 1999,not 2002,get your facts right.don’t ever write a review again,ever!you act like you’re some kind of critic,but you’re just insulting him.critics just point out what they thought was wrong,they don’t insult them like a 4th grader like you did.you’re pathetic.go die.
Nicholas Sparks is a very poor writer. The only reason his books sell so well is because of great marketing. “The Notebook” was horrible. It made for a great movie though. I think the reason it is upsetting for people like me is that we know that he is a fraud. There are great writers who do not get published, and then there is this guy. What a waste of time.
Hi there. I just wanna say this:You know nothing about books, and you really know nothing at all about Nicholas Sparks books. I bought all his books and i love them all. so when you want to criticize him think twice because he’s just the best writer in America , and you are just a stupid girl who know nothing about writers.
P.S.Go read magazines and newspapers.maybe you can learn something.or not.
You morons…..books don’t sell good because of marketing – they sell good because of word of mouth. Maybe if you knew some of his background you would appreciate his writing and where he is coming from, because some of what he is saying comes from his personal experiances…..like – did you know his sister died from a brain tumor? his father was killed in a car wreck? he lost his mother in young adult hood? just because you don’t have the intellect to appreciate a good book – does not mean its a bad good. maybe you should stick to Dr. Suess?