Archive for December, 2007

road trip pantscard #3

Published by
Sarah
December 28, 2007 in voyages. 4 Comments

you guys are so sweet to be worried about me and potential broken/mangled limbs!

well, don’t worry. henri and i are in one piece, although i found out today that snowboarding HATES ME.

anyway

here’s a random ice sculpture we saw last night in the sante fe plaza:

here’s us on the ski lift, after waiting two hours to rent equipment and “passing” a snowboarding class.

(note: yes, that is henri. i realize that could really be anyone, including the unabomber)

here is me, in my most common position today:

to quote one of my favorite MOMA paintings: OOF!

road trip pantscard #2

Published by
Sarah
December 27, 2007 in voyages. 5 Comments

hallo from santa fe, where everything is adobe (seriously).

here’s henri, “enjoying” cadillac ranch. note: pictures may be worth a thousand words, but no picture could capture how FREEZING COLD IT WAS. SWEET FROZEN MOSES. thus, henri’s facial expression.

we ate lunch in las vegas, new mexico at a fifty-seven year old place called estella’s cafe, where two eight year old girls give you menus, bus tables then leave to get some ice cream. yeah, it was pretty great.

and then IT SNOWED!!!!! on ME!!! LOOK!!!

snow can get a little frustrating when you’re behind the wheel, but when it’s falling softly on yr coat and hat and nose, it’s the most charming thing in the world.

tomorrow: snowboarding! i really, really hope nothing inside of me breaks.

road trip pantscard #1

Published by
Sarah
December 27, 2007 in voyages. 4 Comments

I’M ON A ROAD TRIP!

with henri!

for new year’s eve!

and right now we are ten miles away from happy, texas, which pretty much says it all.

anyway, since i don’t have time to get my full-out blog on, we decided to post three pictures every day that sum up our adventures, sort of like postcards but without the five day delay. i’ll probably write more when i get back to work on january 3rd, but for now, here’s a little taste of our first day.

the christmas “north pole” display in lampasas, texas (cos even santa loves a good discount):

the festive town square in snyder, texas:

me vs. a sirloin steak at mo-malee’s steakhouse (the steak won).

p.s. it’s freezing up here!!!!!! OMG!

merry christmas pants!

Published by
Sarah
December 25, 2007 in family, pantship and tasty business. 5 Comments

it’s christmas!!!!!!

well, at least for one more hour.

and you know, it’s been pretty great. in fact, even though i don’t get she-ra action figures or hug-a-bunch dolls anymore, christmas always makes me feel like the luckiest kid in the world.

here’s why!

first, i’ve been spending time with my family, like my uncle scott and uncle david.

and my aunt margaret!

holla, family ties!

and since i’m in houston, i’ve been able to eat at my favorite places! I AM SO LUCKY!

i met amy at the hobbit cafe, where i enjoyed some tasty business known as smaug’s delight:

as you can see, this sandwich is a gift from heaven, and i got to be the Chosen One.

and then i drove over to ruggles cafe, where i used to meet my friend ellen every week for the best cappuccino in the world. and guess what? they still have it! and it still comes with a chocolate spoon! and a cookie!

of course, it was a CHRISTMAS cookie. because, like i said, this is the perfect cappuccino. and i got to drink it!

here is me, appreciating perfection.

and here is ellen, who got one too!

ELLEN! i haven’t see this lovely lady in several years, but her eyes still sparkle and she still throws back her head when she laughs and oh, she is a marvelous christmas present!

i also hung out with a few of ye olde cy-creek cougars, including leanna, who usually lives in africa and has no plumbing and is pretty much the bravest girl i know.

also, leanna’s parents’ house has a SECRET DOOR.

which really has nothing to do with christmas but is pretty darn cool.

plus, when i’m home for christmas, i’m surrounded by things that remind me of other christmases, which increases my feelings of squee to an almost IMPOSSIBLE level.

here’s the nativity scene i made in the first grade!

it was carefully (well, careful for a six year old) crafted out of egg carton, cotton balls, push pins and fabric. basically, it’s a “folk art masterpiece” and should probably be in the louvre, but my mother won’t part with it.

and here is the stocking that my grandmother helen (i called her “mama helen”) sewed for me on my first christmas!

as you can see, my grandmother knew me inside and out, even before i could say the word “cupcake.” i mean, just look at what i’m dreaming about!

obviously, she knew what she was doing.

mama helen also wrote me a letter when she gave me the stocking, and i keep it inside so that i can pull it out and read it every year. here’s the first page:

(didn’t she have wonderful penmanship?)

in case you can’t read it, the first line says:

“sarah, dear, my sweet, precious little grandchild-

you are eight and a half months old today and i believe you are the most loved, most wanted and most adored child ever born! oh, how you are blessed!”

mama helen, how did you know?

merry christmas, pants world!

three (more) reasons to raise up that cheeseball flag

Published by
Sarah
December 21, 2007 in alamoing and extravaganza. 4 Comments

as you know, i’ve been geeking out (just a little) about the holidays. but, hey!, that’s kind of the point. i can’t HELP the fact that christmas provides me with so v. many opportunities to let my cheeseball flag fly (mmm, cheese balls).

to illustrate my point, i’m providing three examples of the christmas activities i engaged in over this past week. there is NO WAY you can participate in these events without feeling all giddy with the christmas spirit to the point where you spontaneously hug people and/or shout, “I LOVE CHRISTMAS/YOU GUYS/THE WORLD!”

you may argue that you don’t actually *have to* engage in these activities, and you would be right. and then i would call you a grinch and talk in a low, mean voice whenever i’m around you and/or sing “you’re a mean one, mr. grinch” until you decided to cease all communication with me.

ok, example #1: the trail of lights

dessiree and i met up with erica g, erica f and josh to explore the Eighth Wonder of the World, the trail of lights. you may recall my visit to this electric wonderland last year. basically, they plaster zilker park with lights and wooden boards of cartoon characters, and people walk around and go “oooh” or “whoah” or “what is that supposed to be?” and drink hot cider, unless you’re me, who is deathly afraid of the port-a-potties.

i mean, how can you resist colored lights and candyland and drug-addled popsicles?

what about the opportunity to stick yr face in a painted wooden picture so that you can look like a happy christmas family standing by the river?

um, josh, i think that dog is about to bite yr hand off. just so you know.

i’m sorry, but i CANNOT pass up these face-hole pictures. i wish there were more of them in the world. like, even at the grocery store.

and then there’s the unparalleled trail of lights Live Entertainment, which this year featured a clogging/tapping (?!) group of older ladies, plus one guy, in sequined vests. please watch this video immediately.

josh: “why are they all dressed like blackjack dealers?”

me: “THIS IS AWESOME! erica, are you recording this?!!”

of course, the end of trail of lights is the best part, cos you get to spin under the giant tree! until you throw up! major props to erica g. for capturing this sensation without falling over and dry heaving.

example #2: white elephant party

my friends mark and kristen hosted our community group’s annual christmas party at their place, and it was PACKED with things that make me loudly exclaim my love and excitement over and over until people start to doubt my sincerity (trust me, i mean it).

first, there were toddlers!!!!!!!!

honestly, even if the party was just me, watching/playing with max and naomi, it still would’ve been the best night ever.

but there was MORE!

there were christmas cookies!!!!!!!

seriously, this is art, people. DELICIOUS ART.

and just when you thought it couldn’t get any better, we did a white elephant gift exchange! i LOVE getting rid of crap and receiving other people’s crap. it’s just so FUN!

here’s kristen and mark, with the best gift of the night:

yeah, that’s right. the n’sync xmas cd!!! of course, it was from yrs truly. because i know how to ROCK the white elephant.

example #3: caroling on sixth street

as i mentioned in my christmas music post, i LOVE attending the alamo christmas pops sing-along and watching george michael’s hair in “last christmas” and a claymation destiny’s child try to make “rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer” as bootylicious as possible.

but then, when the show’s over, guess what? the audience goes caroling down sixth street!

and who better to lead the singing of carols on the most alcohol-drenched street in texas but santa owen and henri the elf?

if these guys don’t inspire you with the christmas spirit, then, well, you might want to find a milk carton, cos yr HEART IS ON IT (i.e. missing, i.e. junior high book reference).

caroling on sixth street is nothing like caroling in yr suburban neighborhood or a rest home. ok, well, sometimes, old people can give you some weird looks. but they are NOTHING compared to the looks of awe/confusion/surprise/disgust that you receive when you’re singing “feliz navidad” and prancing past the chuggin’ monkey.

especially when you’re being led by an elf and a santa who climb sign posts and instruct you to sing run dmc’s “christmas in hollis.”

it takes a lot of dedication to handle this type of caroling. obvs, erica is a pro.

here’s a video of our caroling group attempting to get into the jackalope:

FYI, we were denied entrance.

however, we were far more successful at the beauty bar, where you can stand on the sidewalk and sing yr heart out to the people on the patio, because the door guy cannot control who stands on the sidewalk.

look at those excited faces!! there’s even a lady with antlers and xmas lights on her head!

as you can see from my three v. compelling examples, it’s been a full-out holiday geekfest for me this week. and it’s just going to CONTINUE, cos as of 5 PM today, i am officially on holiday vacation!!! holla!!!

given the break and christmas/NYE, i won’t be posting every day. but i will be popping in now and then to update you on my cheeseball flag status (current: Raised High) and various highly fascinating activities.

i may even buy a christmas sweater!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FA LA LA LA LAAAA, LA LA LA LAAAAAAAAAAAA

christmas portraits: a highly scientific exploration by posh d.

Published by
Sarah
December 20, 2007 in cray, culturelux and squee!. 8 Comments

last night, i was reminded of the fact that i LOVE CHRISTMAS PORTRAITS.

henri and i were at a party, and one of the hosts showed us pictures recently taken of him and his two roommates at sears.  they were snapped in a series of poses, ranging from “THANK YOU SANTA FOR THIS AWESOME PRESENT!” to “let’s all lay in a big pile in front of this cheesy christmas tree and look absolutely thrilled!” basically, they were fantastic.

back in my sophomore year of college, the powersuite girls (my three roommates and i) decided to get our portrait taken at k-mart for a christmas card. it’s a long story, but basically it took us FOREVER to finally get over there, only to discover that the camera was broken. to express our anger, we bought a “primal rage” ape (from the video game, holla!) and then took angry pictures in our apartment.

i wish i had access to those pictures right now, because i think this story would be a lot more compelling.

ANYWAY, we finally took the pictures at k-mart and sent out some lovely christmas cards, which my mom, of course, still has framed in her house.

i was thinking about that story today at work and decided to google “christmas portraits.”

ZOMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

have you guys ever done this?!!!!!!!

it’s a WEALTH of AMAZING IMAGES, all at yr fingertips!!!!

ok but don’t do it, cos i’m going to blog about it now. and if you do the search yrself, then you’ll see all of the pictures and won’t want to read this entry.

btw, for awesome santa pics, don’t forget the gallery i posted about last year (hiiiilarious).

based on my highly scientific google image seach, it appears that christmas portraits fall into several catagories.

first, the widely popular “siblings in matching outfits” genre:

WOW.  major, major props for that baby’s hat, er, beret? and even MORE props for getting the baby to smile instead of ripping off the hat and making a break for it.

i love the amount of satin in this pic. nothing says “special occasion” like satin!

here’s another member of this genre, which might be my most favorite one:

MERRY CHRISTMAS! NOW YOU HAVE TWINS! YAAAYYYY!!!

sweet fancy MOSES! these twins have been stuffed inside a present, and they are NOT happy about it! or maybe they’re just taking a deep, desperate breath of oxygen after living inside a xmas package for who knows how long.

extra points for the sock monkeys. that’s really a nice touch.

this pictures also fits in the “fake fireplace” category, for which i harbor great affection. there’s just something so American, so clearly commercial about fake fireplace backdrops. do they ever look real in a photograph? no. and i find that oddly comforting.

here’s a great example of a combo “fake fireplace” and “unnatural pose.”

oh LA! i’m just so happy to be santa’s little helper, sitting in front of this one dimensional tree and fireplace! now i will stare off into the distance and dream of sugar plums. dooo do doooo…

and then of course, there’s the “family” portraits. i was going to give you more than one example, but then i found this picture. and this picture, honestly, is all you need.

first of all, there’s the camo.

and then there’s the woodland setting.

not to mention the FANTASTIC xmas sweater.

but what i really want to know is… why is that little girl wearing the SAME santa’s little helper outfit modeled by the “fake fireplace,” “unnatural pose” girl?!!! where do people buy this outfit? and, more pressing, why?

speaking of haunting questions, i would LOVE to find out what greeting they included with this family xmas card. please feel free to take yr guesses in the comment section.

and then there’s the “anne geddes” category of portraits, which i find v. v. frightening.

WHY ARE THOSE ROSES SO HUGE? does this mean that there are bees the size of babies, too? i’m just really confused. also, i’m thinking about blaming anne geedes for jamie lynn spear’s pregnancy. “but momma, i thought babies came outta giant roses!”

here’s a slight variation, which is not quite as alarming.

but yeah, still weird. like, if you put a KITTEN in a bowl, that’s adorable. but a baby? i’m not sure.

then, of course, we have the “pet” portraits.

YESSSSSSSS!!!!!! two schnauzers with an old-fashioned santa and some gold balls!!!! who wants to see our family when we have these great looking dogs?!!! thank you, M. Bryant!

ok, but this is totally my favorite in this category:

RAAHHHAHAHAHAHA!! these pugs are TERRIFIED!!! they’re wearing christmas outfits and standing atop cottony faux snow and wondering why the world hates them so much. their expressions actually remind me of myself, while watching certain scenes in “pan’s labyrinth.” if i got this in the mail from a friend, i would totally call PETA.

let’s not forget the “posing with an inanimate object” category, which is usually reserved for senior portraits (look at me! i got my elbow propped up on a massive “97″!). i absolutely ADORE this picture, because the baby’s body shape looks almost exactly like the pooh bear.

i mean, is this not INCREDIBLE?!!!! right on down to the little bit of tongue!! all this toddler needs is a present and a case of jaundice, and they could be, like, mirror images!  plus that vest is devastatingly magnificent.

and finally, my favorite portrait from today’s search, which defies ALL categories and stands alone in its sheer awesomeness:

this baby is literally smothering me with squee. and probably suffering from heat stroke.

thus concludes my study. next year, i expect a LOT more xmas portraits in the mail. preferably featuring faux fireplaces.

LINKS

i watched this video on how to make marshmallows about four times. and i don’t really plan on making any. that’s how good the video is.

so, apparently this new princess diana letter has surfaced, and she wrote that people were trying to murder her, and… yeah, i don’t know why i still care. i think it’s cos of the princess diana paper doll i used to have. her wedding dress was aaaamazing.

someone did a study on why people curse. f-ing a!
hey! sex education works! and again i say, oh, jamie lynn.

michelle collins made another great “animal” list, and it might be my all-time favorite. check out “50 animals with day jobs.”

did you guys see the link caroline posted about the butter cow lady? mmm butter.

video of the day: this is a beatles cover band, singing “stairway to heaven.” hello, blowage of mind.

oh, jamie lynn.

Published by
Sarah
December 19, 2007 in culturelux. 12 Comments

britney spears: piece of me (i can’t decide if i’m posting this song out of irony or downright seriousness)

i will heed hilary’s plea (via the comment section) and use today’s entry to address the GLOBAL ISSUE of jamie lynn’s pregnancy. i realize that this is both silly and kiiiinda disgusting, but it’s also extremely depressing. not as depressing as darfur or the congo, obvs, but it made me sigh heavily about our culture.

first, in case you don’t, say, log on to yr celebrity blog rss feeds before yr lips have even touched yr first cup of coffee every morning, jamie lynn spears, sister of ye olde trainwreck, is pregnant. here are the facts:

jamie lynn is 16.

her boyfriend is 19.

they met at church!

jamie lynn and her mom, lynne, sold the story of her pregnancy to ok! magazine for $1 million dollars. and actually, jamie lynn won’t get the moolah until she pops out the baby and participates in an exclusive photo shoot.

lynne’s book on parenting has been shelved until further notice (SHOCKER OF THE CENTURY).

jamie lynn says she’s 12 weeks preggers, but other sources say she’s about five months. in fact, the national enquirer leaked the story back in july and received the following letter from jamie lynn’s lawyers (c/o perez):

“Ms. Spears is a devout Christian with a spotless reputation, who lives in accordance with the highest moral and ethical standards in accordance with her faith.

There is no “rumor” concerning Ms. Spears’ (non-existent) pregnancy, except perhaps for the baseless “rumor” just now being created by the National Enquirer.

Ms. Spears is not pregnant. It is pathetic for the National Enquirer to attempt to create a wholly baseless “rumor” that Ms. Spears is pregnant, so it can run a malicious story and false story which would be emotionally devastating to a morally upright 16 year old girl.”

wow. talk about FACE HARD.

the entire blogosphere is discussing this development. feministing notes nickelodeon’s use of the word “responsibility” in their official statement about jamie lynn, while jezebel discusses the movie “juno” and whether or not it glamorizes teen pregnancy (btw, jamie lynn and her mom saw the movie over the weekend).

the thing is, part of me is really just disgusted by the spears family in general. even more, i’m disgusted that i want to read about these people, although after today, i really wish i could add a “spears” filter to my rss feeds (can i get a “paris hilton” filter with that as well?). and, before i offend anyone, i’m not really disgusted about the pregnancy itself, but by the fact that lynne is using her daughter’s extremely massive, super vulnerable life change to rake in the cash.

teen pregnancy happens all of the time in this country, and it makes me sad. really sad. i guess that’s why i’m writing about a silly, teenage nickelodeon star on my blog (seriously, wtf).

i mean, is jamie lynn ready for this change? how could she be?! when i read this quote, my heart really broke:

“[I'm] looking forward to being the best mom I can be…I’m the one who has to live with it for the rest of my life…I put myself in this position, an adult position, so I have to act like an adult and take responsibility for what I did.”

is this how you talk about a baby?

and then hollywood moms make it look so easy. heidi klum is back on the runway, what, two weeks after she birthed a child? angelina jolie jet sets around the world with her toddlers, and katie holmes has the best dressed, cutest kid in the entire world (suri, holla!). i’m not ragging on these people, i’m just saying that motherhood is a lot tougher than the glossy spreads you see in “people.” i’m not a mom, obvs, but i think this is a pretty educated guess.

eh, is this entry getting too preachy for you?

well, hilary asked for some psychoanalysis, and here are some questions i LOVE to ask jamie lynn, if i got the chance:

1. do you know what a condom is?

2. do you realize that babies come from sex?

3. did you know that a baby will grow up to be a real person that will constantly demand things from you and will have access to the internet?

4. have you, um, noticed yr sister in the past, oh, three years?

5. did you know that you are actually just 16 years old?

sigh.

LINKS

dude. SO MANY LINKS TODAY.

first, meredith sent me the MOST AMAZING SITE I HAVE EVER SEEN: melanie griffith’s official webpage. please visit this site, i mean, “avalon,” immediately. especially if you want to join the “goddess club” or are in need of a “dream room.” the best part? melanie narrates all of the titles of the site!

so, amazon bought j. k. rowling’s hand-written and hand-drawn “tales of beedle the bard.” GAH. never before have i wished that i was a website.

if you were a fan of “the pick-up artist” (best reality show in recent memory, srsly), then you should check out a new show featuring neil strauss (author of “the game”) and parker lewis (FOR REAL) and that dude from “married with children.” i would make a joke here, but ah, i don’t really need to.

the reuters photos of the year are pretty impressive. not as a good as those karaoke photos i took, but still.

attention nerds: pirate bay has music!!!!

i think i mentioned that girlie night has been viewing episodes of the totally awesome canadian series, “degrassi junior high.” well, here’s a great (and highly educational!) clip from one of my favorite episodes (and you gotta love the jezebel commentary:  “dressed as a middle-aged divorcee on a singles cruise in the ’80s”). it makes me wonder if we had degrassi in the U.S., would jamie lynn be preggers?

this judd aptaow skit is pretty funny (it’s got darryl in it from “the office”!!), but the best part is the fact that jonah hill is wearing an alamo t-shirt! score.

in case you missed it, celina posted this list of “50 nerdy things to do before you die” in the comments section yesterday. FYI, i have already accomplished #22.

the posh deluxe guide to christmas music

Published by
Sarah
December 18, 2007 in music. 9 Comments

since the day after thanksgiving, i’ve been inundating my ears with christmas music. i listen to it at work, on peabody (my bike), in thomas (my car), in my apartment, at the alamo xmas pops sing-along and, of course, any time i’m within 20 feet of a store.

and guess what? i’m still not tired of it.

i think the secret, in case you’re curious (HA HA so many of you are totes not curious, i’m sure), is to have a variety of christmas music at yr disposal. i’ve been building up my collection for YEARS, and so today, i’d like to share with you some of my all time favorite holiday songs. even for you scrooges out there, i think you might find something you actually like. or at least, something less annoying than alvin and the chipmunks.

here we go!
“rockin around the christmas tree” by brenda lee

i admit, this song will always hold a special place in my heart due to its prominent role in “home alone.” oh come ON. you know what i’m talking about!! it’s the song that plays when kevin fools the burglars with mannequins, michael jordan and his impressive marionette abilities. EVERYONE knows that. plus, it’s totally danceable, and you can’t say that about most xmas songs. p.s. kevin, you’re such a disease.

“hark the herald angels sing” by ella fitzgerald

i remember singing this song as a kid in church and feeling really excited. it was a hymn, but it was also a christmas carol, so it was WAY more fun to sing. and basically, i love any excuse to hear ella fitzgerald’s rich, vibrant voice.

“merry christmas, happy holidays” by *nsync

dude. it’s *nsync. of COURSE i love this song. plus the video has gary coleman in it AND *nsync loving on some super cute kids! look, just give it a listen and trust me, by the end, you will totally be singing “merry christmas, happy holiday!” to yrself over and over while doing some boy band shoulder moves. and if that’s not the christmas spirit, i don’t know what is.

“do they know it’s christmas?” by band aid

ok, what is there NOT to love about this song? it’s totally 80s and features tons of famous rock stars, like bono, sting, duran duran and, surprise, BANANARAMA! i had no idea that bananarama was part of band aid, until i saw the video during the alamo sing-along and totally recognized them from their “i am venus” video (which is awesome, btw). plus, i love the unabashed earnestness of this song. i mean, “feed the world”?! you could only get away with that kind of poppy optimism in the 1980s. plus i like imagining the rocker hair-dos that went into building this song. it’s the kind of thing that makes me misty-eyed.

“L-O-V-E” by nat king cole

ok, so i don’t think this is actually a christmas or holiday-inspired song. BUT starbucks released it on their “santa, baby” cd last year, and if starbucks says it’s a christmas song, i believe them. because i do not ask starbucks questions. i simply bow down to their white chocolate peppermint mocha. anyway, this song makes me SO HAPPY. the other day, i was walking to the gym, and it came on samantha (my ipod), and i realized i was grinning like a cartoon character with hearts dancing around my head (which would be super cool in real life, i think). plus, this song gets played a lot at weddings, where there is always much merriment and (hopefully) tasty business and dancing. in short, i affirm that this track is indeed a piece of holiday music.

“feeling good” by nina simone

again, i realize this is not typically considered to be a christmas song. but starbucks released it on “sleigh full of songs” two years ago, and i think they were clinging to the whole “it’s a new dawn, it’s a new day” theme to tie into new year’s eve, and how can i say no to nina simone’s voice? how can YOU? she makes me want to write a lot of sultry, bold resolutions.

“hey parker, it’s christmas” by ryan adams

ryan adams can pretty much melt my heart and/or make me tear up within the first few stanzas of his music. i love this song, because it’s not yr typical, cloying holiday fare. it’s beautiful and hopeful and melancholic. plus, he’s singing to parker posey, and that’s just the coolest thing in the universe. every time i hear this song, i want to send ryan adams a crayon-drawn holiday card and maybe a hug.

“happy xmas (war is over)” by john lennon (or sarah mclachlan, below)

speaking of tearing up, OMG THIS SONG KILLS ME. i know i posted it on top of an entry last week, but i must list it here. at the end of the christmas pops sing-along, the whole audience puts their arms around each other and sways along to this song while singing their hearts out. rarely have i experienced such a moment of purity at a sing-along (since, you know, it’s usually ladies of the 80s or something).

“mary” by patty griffin (performed by the robbie seay band below)

here’s another “non-traditional” christmas song that absolutely breaks my heart. the lyrics are achingly real and gorgeous, and robbie’s voice is perfect for conveying the reality of mary’s situation.

“cool yule” by louis armstrong

louis armstrong’s voice + a swingin’ brass band = music i literally dance to by myself, in my apartment, around my little christmas tree. this is the kind of song that would probably make the grinch’s head explode.

“last christmas” by wham (performed by jimmy eat world below)

you know, i think xmas hit a high point in the 80s. you had pop bands creating totally new, totally amazing holiday songs, and when you woke up xmas morning, there was a cabbage patch doll waiting for you under the tree. fyi, if you haven’t seen it, the video for the wham version of this song is i.n.c.r.e.d.i.b.l.e. george michael’s hair alone will make you believe in santa claus.

“sleigh ride” by the squirrel nut zippers

this song is so great and so fun, that it aaaalmost makes me wish we had snow in texas, so i could go on a sleigh ride with all of my friends and bounce along in our winter clothes and drink cider and arrive at our destination with rosy cheeks and high spirits. almost.

i hope i was able to provide you with a not-too-annoying and maybe even enjoyable soundtrack to whatever you were doing while reading my blog–hanging out in yr office, sitting at yr kitchen table, wrapping presents (!!) or maybe even making christmas cookies!! yay!

p.s. IT’S ALMOST CHRISTMAS!

LINKS

all three of the boys from gossip girl in one location… i’m not sure the world can handle this level of hotness. cue the apocalypse (will smith, i need you!).

looks like peter jackson might actually make “the hobbit.” and wait, there’s another prequel to the LOTR? i had no idea. hmm. i guess i’m cooler than i thought.

celine dion closed her show. and some chick got a celine dion tattoo. seriously. guys. the world is ending.

the last pants on earth

Published by
Sarah
December 17, 2007 in culturelux and reading rainbow. 10 Comments

andrew bird: yawny at the apocalypse

over the weekend, i saw “i am legend,” which is a movie about a virus, created by scientists, that kills a lot of people and turns other people into really fugly vampires. the result is that new york is only populated by one person, and that person is, of course, will freaking smith.

in spite of the fact that the movie totally changed the ending of the book it’s based on (that’s what henri told me), i still enjoyed it. first of all, the scenes of a deserted new york, overgrown with weeds and wild animals, are absolutely stunning. i mean, i *knew* it was CGI or whatever, but STILL!! times square totally looked ripped up and abandoned and WOW!

secondly, the film is full of small, quiet moments, where you can see that will smith is probably about to completely lose his shizz but still manages to hold on to what it means to be human. he talks to mannequins like they’re alive, and he listens to his ipod and he shoots golf balls of a big fighter jet.

third, the dog in this movie is AWESOME!!!! OMG!!!! major props to the person that probably spent a billion hours training this dog to turn his head in a specific way or act like he’s just been bitten by three totally disgusting vampire dogs. i mean, will smith was great and all, but this dog?! did someone say oscar?!!!

anyway, the movie made me think a lot about what i would do if i were in will smith’s position. first of all, i would probably not be in will smith’s position, because i’m a pansy and, even if i was immune to the virus, i would be slaughtered by a roving band of vampires within the first hour of the plague. seriously. i doubt even buffy summers could save me.

speaking of buffy, oh man. if this story ever happened in real life, i reeeeally hope people turn into the attractive vampires typically portrayed by hollywood rather than the nasty, creepy ones in this movie. if i had to be killed by a vampire, at least they could be attractive and trying to seduce me so that i’m feeling really flattered right before i die.

anyway

so what would i do if i were the last person living in NYC? first, i would definitely hit up whole foods and get as much expensive food as possible before it spoils. second, i would teach myself how to run a generator. third, i would totally bust into barney’s and saks and h&m and get all kinds of amazing clothes and dress up each and every day, just for myself. i would especially start wearing fantastic hats, because now people kind of stare at me a little if i’m sashaying around in my big pink number. but when all of the people are gone, no one will make me feel weird about it. in fact, i will probably dress every day like i’m about to attend a Formal Gala. i’ll even wear jewels in the bath! yes!!!!
speaking of bath, i’m really going to have to figure out how the whole water thing works. especially heated water. cos there is no way i’m gonna let myself be dirty. even though no one else will be around to smell me, i’m too OCD to allow myself to go for longer than a day without a shower. just cos the apocalypse happened does NOT mean that hygiene isn’t important.

in the movie, will smith does like a hundred chin-ups and runs on a treadmill so that he is super, super ripped. he is obviously just staying in shape so that he can fight vampires, but the audience certainly appreciated the effort, let me tell you. i think i would keep exercising, especially because i will have a ton of cute work out clothes from nordstrom.

and i would definitely, DEFINITELY get a dog. the movie doesn’t mention if cats are alive or vampiric or not, but i could care less about cats. a dog would be great company and would give me some form of love, which i’m sure i’ll be missing after a few months of being completely and totally alone (with no one to read my blog, to boot!).

btw, this weekend i got to randomly play with the most ADORABLE pug at the alamo, and it was, like, the highlight of my LIFE. here’s a picture:

who needs the human population of the earth when you’ve got a doggie like this?!!!!

although her eyes look a little freaky… i hope this isn’t a sign that she’s got the virus. because then all of her fur will fall out and her eyes will look really cray and she will most definitely try to kill me. that would suuuuck.

i think i’m on some kind of apocalypse kick, cos i also (finally) started reading “y: the last man,” this comic series about the supposed last man on earth. the story begins when, inexplicably, all of the men in the world die, except for this one guy, yorick, who also happens to be a magician, i mean, illusionist.

i’ve only read the first two trades, but the story is amaaaaazing and manages to combine adventure and suspense with a lot of political/social commentary (for instance, almost all of the planes in the air crashed when the men died, cos there aren’t v. many female pilots). women have to figure out how to run the world themselves, and these crazy republican women try to take over the white house (literally attack it) and some women form this “amazon” group around the idea that men were a plague on the earth and women are way better off to be on their own.

all i can say so far is that if i were around in “y: the last man,” i would most definitely not join up with the amazons. first, they kill people, and i don’t really have the stomach for that. second, i think boys are (sometimes) pretty great and would miss them if they all died at the same time. third, the amazons cut off their left breast so that they can be better at archery WHAAAAAAA?!!!!!!!! that is INSANE and gross. nooooo thank you. really. no.

anyway, the point of all of this is i’m glad that the apocalypse hasn’t occurred yet. i happen to like having other people around (boys included), and i certainly don’t want to spend my nights holed up in a bathtub with metal shutters on my windows to keep the cray fugly vampires out. even if it if meant i could wear a bestey johnson dress every day.

i give “i am legend” three out of four pants:

and i won’t rate “y: the last man” yet, but i have the feeling it’s gonna be a four pantser.

LINKS

ever heard of the strandbeest? they are the coolest things i have ever seen. gah, science can be so cool sometimes.

caitlin sent me this funny (and maybe disturbing?) video of a little girl that, well, wants something that she can never, ever have.

so snoop and david beckham hung out. and excuse me, my head just exploded.

ok, i know we have a cupcake stand in austin now, but when are we gonna get one of these?!!!!! i am totally writing a letter to city council ASAP.

i never knew knitters could be SO EXTREME.

more catalog goodness from jezebel: check out the goodies at sky mall! (holla, meredith)

p.s. NEW BLOG FEATURE! thanks to the genius of matt, you can now subscribe to comments. that means that you can leave a comment and then find out what other people say. specifically, if anyone makes fun yr comment, you can write another one slamming their mom and it will be FACE HARD.

linkity do dah!

Published by
Sarah
December 14, 2007 in squee!, tasty business and this post will conform to no category!. 3 Comments

SWEET CRACKER SANDWICH. i just saw (a v. grainy, bootlegged version of) the new batman trailer, and it is OFF THE CHAIN!!!! do not be discouraged by the fact that this video looks like it was filmed from an armrest on a 1996 sony camera. it will still BLOW YR MIND. first of all, christian bale looks amazing. second, heath ledger gives me the heebie jeebies, even via a distorted bootlegged video clip! i guess it helps that in real life, he’s gotten all scuzzy and gross, so as the joker, he’s like, double creepy. gah, i cannot WAIT to see this movie.

[update: the trailer is now on youtube]

if you could put me in LOL cat form, it would probably look something like this:

except OBVS i don’t like eating squirrels. it’s just, you know, an allegory or whatever. cos i really do love food and sometimes feel like petting it, esp. when it’s a cute cupcake or cookie.

please read my most favorite article of the entire week, about a janitor who decided to use the high school PA system as his own private karaoke machine and scared the pants off of a teacher. the best part? he was singing guns ‘n’ roses. DUDE. that is AWESOME. i bet my axl impression is still better, though.

my friend caroline alerted me to this incredible collection of old weight watcher recipe cards. based on the pictures and recipes depicted, i cannot believe that an angry mob of dieters didn’t storm the WW HQ and wreak massive destruction, Sara Rose Cosmetics style. here’s an example (along with the witty commentary provided by whoever was lucky enough to find these):

These are the saddest diet beverages ever.

The one on the right is skim milk and orange pulp. The one on the left is made with water, sherry extract, and two beef bouillon cubes.

No, really.

Well, there’s also celery in it. Oh, and SELF-LOATHING.

seriously. disturbing.

this list of the “ten most shameless attempts to win an oscar” is, like, so double true.

hey, did you guys ever read “little house on the prairie” books? oh man, i used to DIE over the food descriptions, cos they ate fresh real butter and fresh real maple syrup and fresh real cheese and ALL of their food was fresh and real and homemade and NOM NOM NOM. anyway, even if you didn’t obsess over prairie food like i did, you’ll probably still enjoy this hilarious examination of the series.

check out this video of a spider robot/car/creepy machine that will probably turn on its owner and start killing people really soon.

wait, you mean the tales of the beedle bard is REAL?!!!! and i can BUY IT?!!! for… four million dollars? oh. ok. right. right.
the jezebel girls comment on yet another stupid catalog, and this time it’s neiman marcus. high dolla!

for yr cute picture of the day, check out harry connick, jr. with his daughter! mega-AWWW!

and now i’m virtually punching hands with all of you cos it’s the weekend! WEEKEND HAND PUNCH!

 

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