you know, fantastic fest turned out to be a lot better than i thought it would. i figured, to be perfectly honest, that there would be one or two movies that i liked squeezed between a ton of torture porn, but i actually enjoyed every movie i saw (with the exception of spiral, as indicated earlier). the closest i came to peeing in my pants was out of EXCITEMENT, not sheer terror. so that’s good, except for the fact that i really don’t ever want to pee my pants, even if it’s out of pure joy and love and harmony with the earth.
princess
even though this film is animated, it is so INTENSE. and yet, it’s quietly intense, like a cigarette smoldering in a mattress until suddenly, the whole thing explodes. that’s exactly what happens in this movie.
check out the trailer here.
the basic premise: august, a missionary priest, returns home after his sister, christina, dies and leaves behind five year old mia. the hook is that christina was a porn star. like, a super famous, bigger (ha!) than jenna jameson porn star. august struggles to earn little mia’s trust while his hatred mounts towards the porn industry that ruined his sister. did i mention that mia had been abused? and did i mention that august may have been silently complicit in allowing christina to start doing porn in the first place? all of this pain and destruction and sadness is carefully balanced against mia’s sweet innocence (in spite of everything) and august’s earnest love for her.
my favorite character is mia’s stuffed yellow rabbit, multe (sp?). after august and mia finally learn to trust each other, multe comes alive! he doesn’t talk, but he bounces around a lot and makes funny expressions. I WANT HIM!
the coolest thing about this film might be the interspersed use of live action. august has a huge collection of video tapes of his sister and him, back in younger, more carefree days. whenever one of these tapes is put into the tv, the audience sees all of the characters in live action, “real” form. it’s extremely arresting to go from the beautifully colored animation to the grainy, coarse video tape, and back again.
there’s no way this movie won’t affect you. i saw it on a saturday afternoon, and it was tough to exit the theater into the sunshine of the day after beholding such a masterpiece of beauty, bleakness and human misery. the light seemed garish, somehow.
sex and death 101
ok, so i was reeeeeally excited about this movie. here is why:
1) patton oswalt is in it! and he was gonna be at the theater!
2) it was directed by daniel waters, who wrote “heathers”!! for serious!!
the basic premise: roderick blank (played by simon baker, who i actually hated in “the devil wears prada” but everyone seems to think is majorly handsome and is actually pretty charming in this movie) is days away from getting married when he receives an anonymous email with a list of every woman he’s ever slept with… and WILL sleep with. at first, he thinks it’s a hoax, but after the next two names on the list turn up in his life (and in his bed), he’s convinced that somehow, he’s been handed his destiny. he then ends up in this white room with three guys (patton, a dude from the wire and some other guy) who kind of oversee humanity. there’s some part about this machine thing computing destiny, which i didn’t really get, but this machine sent roderick the email, and now the three overseer guys are upset that destiny is being effed with. they tell roderick to forget the list, but of course, he can’t! meanwhile, winona ryder, as “death knell,” is preying on womanizing men (frat guys, porn industry types, etc.) by going on dates with them and then slipping them a drug that puts them in a coma.
yeah, it’s kind of a cray cray plot. but i actually think it works! i really enjoyed this movie– it was funny, it was weird, it was definitely a little twisted (although not as dark as “heathers”). plus, patton is HILARIOUS, as always. and attention fans of “felicity”: RICHARD IS IN THIS MOVIE!!!! I KNOW!!!! he only has a brief role, but it’s *perfect* for him.
before the movie, henri and i ran into patton in the hallway, where he told us that he and the other people from the movie (including simon baker, who got hammered and peppered the Q&A with questions about where he could watch the rugby game on tv) had just dined at wink, which, as you may know, is one of my favorite restaurants. and guess what? i’m the person who told patton about wink!!!! ok, maybe me and a few other people. but yeah! last year, when he was here to record his show, he wrote a myspace blog asking about posh austin restaurants, and i wrote back and told him to go to uchi and wink! cos i know my tasty business.
henri, being the nice boyfriend that he is, told patton that i was the one responsible for his meal at wink. so then patton thanked me! personally! i think i managed to say, “you’re welcome” or something equally as witty in return.
anyway
if you see this movie, i think you’ll like it. but it’s also confusing and convoluted and a little too impressed with itself. so i’m giving it three and a half pants instead of four.
postal
i can’t really review this movie, cos i fell asleep. but it had dave foley from news radio (and kids in the hall) and osama bin laden and trailer trash and religious cults and… yeah. i think this only proves that i have the unparalleled power of falling asleep under any circumstances (which i inherited it from my grandmother, who fell asleep during “star wars”).
son of rambow
FINALLY! we have reached my FAVORITE MOVIE FROM THE WHOLE FRICKIN’ FESTIVAL! I LOVE THIS MOVIE SO MUCH!!!!! in fact, just looking at the pictures from the movie makes my fingers seize up with SQUEE.
ok, but seriously, this movie is amazing. it’s not “cute,” even though the boys are adorable. it’s actually extremely compelling and imaginative and hilarious and just absolutely charming.
the basic premise: will, the lead character, has an incredible imagination, which is probably the byproduct of being raised in an ultra-conservative, sort of amish type community (he has to leave the classroom whenever they show anything on a TV).
ISN’T HE ADORABLE?!!!
anyway
will spends his days making colorful, fantastical drawings and mourning the death of his father… that is, until he meets lee carter. lee is definitely the boy who is ALWAYS getting in trouble. in fact, the film opens with him cycling through the town and making mischief, like throwing a volleyball at a guy trying to trim his tree (hilarious). through a series of events, lee blackmails will into being the stunt man for the movie he’s making for a youth film contest. will agrees, and while at lee’s house, sees “first blood” starring, of course, rambo. keep in mind that will has NEVER seen a movie before. ever. naturally, he thinks “first blood” is BRILLIANT and immediately starts drawing a story about the son of rambow (that’s how he spells it), which is basically him in search of his father. lee sees the book, thinks it’s great, and together they begin filling “the son of rambow.” eventually, other kids want in on the game, especially didier, a super cool metrosexual french exchange student.
there are so many great things about this film. here’s the short list:
1) there are no “annoying child actors.” i don’t know how the british do it, but it seems like all of the kids in U.K. films are always genuine and real and endearing. seriously, what is their SECRET? how come they get freddie highmore, while we’re stuck with hannah montana? doesn’t this constitute some sort of trade deficit?
2) in several sequences, will’s drawings come to life in a playful, sort of seussical way. i wish i could get that kid to come over and just draw on my walls. that would be awesome.
3) the movie is set in the 80s, so you’ve got plenty of great new wave music in the soundtrack. there’s one scene in particular when the boys finally get to enter the upperclassmen common room, and it’s packed to the gills with mohawks, eyeliner and patterned tights. it’s like john hughes on crack.
4) watching two young boys try to make a rambo-style movie is just really, really funny. and now i’m wondering, are there stunt children in the film industry? or did they just find really small people to fall off trees and fly into pits of tar?
this film is supposed to be released in the states early next year, which means YOU HAVE TO GO SEE IT.
you will thank me later, preferably with cookies.
!!!!!!!!!
kiltro
most of what i can say about the amazing marko zaror i already wrote in my review of “mirageman,” but i’ll go ahead and repeat myself: marko zaror is the most ass kickingist dude, ever.
“kiltro” is the first movie that marko and ernesto made together, and although it’s not quite as good as “mirageman,” it’s still pretty freaking amazing. plus, marko sports this sort of mullet punk haircut that is just… well, it’s awesome.
the basic premise: marko plays zamir, a street punk and gang member who is obsessed with kim, this super hot half-korean girl he once saved from two rape-hungry thugs. side note: the actress who plays kim has, literally, the coolest eyebrows i have ever seen. kim’s dad is a famous martial arts instructor, and one day this scary looking guy, max kalba (he looks like the evil prince in every cartoon ever) shows up to kill kim’s dad. through max’s apperance, zamir discovers that his dead father was once in a kung fu club with kim’s dad and a few other fighters. in order to save kim and her father, zamir undergoes intense training with two former members of the club, one of which is extremely yoda-esque.
the important thing to know about this movie is that you get to see marko kick major, major ass.
this man is a machine. and yet, he’s graceful. he’s like, a gazelle robot. or something.
anyway, i liked the blend of street fighting and “ancient kung fu” traditions in this movie. and seriously, that girl’s eyebrows! wow!
thus ends my review of fantastic fest 2007.
note: i made it through the whole festival without watching a full length horror movie. I WIN!
LINKS
this is the BEST THING YOU WILL SEE ALL DAY (besides this blog, of course). meet mick, the white koala! SQUEE! cue: mitch hedburg joke, re: infestation of koalas.
more amazing discoveries from scientists: men are happier than women. which obvs does NOT make sense. i mean, men can’t have periods! they can’t get pregnant and deliver a baby through a tiny hole! they don’t get to obsess as much about body image! honestly, i feel bad for them.
not only does this website have the best URL ever, but OMG ANIMATED GIFS!!! i haven’t seen those since i tried to build my own site on geocities.
so, the office premiere is only two days away. I CAN BARELY HANDLE IT! anyway, if you’re like me, you’re looking for any office fix you can get. even if it’s in a dark, dirty alley way.
google is sooo gonna de-friend facebook.
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