cray

the birth of the Ray Raysaurus, i.e. just yr average pool party

you know it’s not a real summer until you’ve gone to a pool party.

so on friday night in houston, we told summer to BRING IT. and it was so, so broughten.

my apologies to people blocked from youtube. i’ll still try to make this post interesting for you but come on. tell those censoring facists to suck it and embrace yr internet freedom! stand up for yr right to mindlessly surf!

for future reference, here are the ingredients for a splashtastic pool party:

1. an indoor pool with 24 hour access (primo)

2. warm-ups at warren’s

3. samantha (sarah’s ipod)

4. byob in plastic cups (safety first! no glass!)

5. a camera to document the crayzee

6. the ray ray

in case you don’t know about #6, i present to you: the ray ray

ray ray is what happens when my dear friend ray, eagle scout and all around good guy, gets a leeeeetle cray. or shall i say cRay cRay. ahem.

we hit the pool around 12:30 or 1 AM, which meant we had the whole place to ourselves. and we KEPT it that way by blaring kelly clarkson and dancing spastically when anyone tried to join us (official score: two whole groups of people, FACE HARD!). let’s just say: we were fierce.

and also, highly excitable.

when people are swimming in the pool, there is nothing they love more than singing and dancing in front of the camera. it’s just like being at the zoo, if you gave the monkeys whiskey and the ability to memorize the lyrics to “mr. brightside.” except i think monkeys might poop in the pool. which is gross.

as our first example, check out matt, who is REALLY excited to be in the pool and REALLY STOKED about singing… in fact, i think he holds one note for more than ten seconds. he’s SO happy that he promptly drops his cup and then giggles when he realizes the drink is all gone. now THAT, my friends, is true summer bliss.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UtPlYIOjWrk 325 260]

yeah yeah, i know the video is kinda dark and grainy. but that’s just cos i’m an underground filmmaker.

here’s matt, showcasing the best pool toy since the noodle:

meanwhile, ray ray decides that his weapon of aggression that evening will be dumping drinks on people’s heads in the pool. ray ray thinks this is a HI-larious joke. watch as he stalks mandy and meredith (favorite part, around the 54 second mark: meredith saying, “RAY RAY!” and then shaking her head. you have no idea how many times this has happened).

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r3zGNMTPcSk 325 260]

here’s meredith feeling… i think the word is… nonplussed.

ray ray’s greatest strength is also his weakness: he doesn’t know when to stop. boundaries, to him, are meant to be broken, sort of like how bubble wrap exists only to be popped. this is probably my favorite clip of the night, for several reasons. one, meredith’s happy face, blissfully unaware of ray ray’s approach. two, meredith gets revenge!! and three, immediately afterwards, she makes sure ray ray is ok. cos deep down, there is no amount of dumped drinks that can drown our love for the ray ray.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=njBpTGQ-Fvo 325 260]

meredith then attempts to demonstrate to ray what he’s being doing to people all night. but ray ray does not understand. why would meredith throw ray ray’s drink into the pool? meanwhile, “flashdance” is playing, i’m shouting “DANCE! DANCE!” and meredith breaks into twirls.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-VhDwJz5g9Y 325 260]

the party climaxed with the birth of the Ray Raysaurus, a formidable creature with a plastic cup snout, life preserver armor and a menacing, screeching Hunting Call. henri valiantly tries to tame the wild beast with a life guarding pole, but life saving equipment (not a toy, children) proves no match for the Ray Raysaurus.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pJxmwQz0PHw 325 260]

vowing to fight to the death, henri and the Raysaurus dueled with life guard poles (still, not toys!) in an epic battle. caution: this video is NOT for the faint of heart.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KpBLxDJjnG8 325 260]

thus the pool party devolved into lots of indiscriminate wrestling and gratuitous splashing.

as all good pool parties do.

LINKS

hermione has a boyfriend! and he’s cute! AND smart! yay!

wow. this npr story on competitive birthing among the upper class gave me some serious heebie jeebies. i mean, i think i’d rather have a bentley to show off my wealth than a fourth kid. especially since bentleys do not require diapers, as far as i know. and if they do, it’s probably solid gold diapers. and i’m ok with that.

this is a pretty good article on gender bias in comics and the latest efforts from girl fans.

if you’re a crappy police officer in bangkok, you have to wear a hello kitty armband. hello? why are they REWARDING bad behavior?!!

here’s another, more in-depth preview of the next installment of “trapped in the closet.” i think the whole “genius or complete nutjob?” debate has finally been resolved.

check out google’s latest fun toy– is yr neighborhood walkable? mine is! so, there.

yet another reason to adore joan crawford. joan! call me!

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