Comments on: we could draw up plans so big, we’d be busy for days

By: Selina

Selina — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 20:59:49 +0000

Man, my life is definitely not as grand as I imagined it would be when I was in high school. I thought I would be doing amazing things with my career…working at UT for crazy professors is not exactly what I had in mind. And I don’t want to even think about my former self being dissapointed…because honestly my current self is dissapointed enough.

I think we need to all give ourselves a break and not be so hard on ourselves…easier said than done .

The easier thing for me though is that I didn’t like high school and I don’t miss it. I did love college but I don’t want to go back there. I like myself more nowadays..

By: sarah

sarah — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 15:09:51 +0000

uh, ray, why can’t you read good?

By: rayray

rayray — Thu, 02 Aug 2007 22:09:38 +0000

uh, why is yr inner child a dude?

By: olivia

olivia — Thu, 02 Aug 2007 19:54:49 +0000

I basically almost cried reading this because, I think since I got back from Prague and seeing senior-year Rice roommates this past weekend, I am also wondering if I did the wrong thing, went the wrong way, and if I am happy, and what it means and if it matters, and I miss it. I miss those friends so terribly, and I miss the types of interactions I had, and I cannot go back and I cannot regain it. And I don’t like it. What do I do about this? I don’t know. But that needing to get lost… I found myself asking aloud to someone yesterday, “So, what? I just put these things I do as a list on a piece of paper, and then I die? That’s a life?”

That’s where I am now. Sigh.

love you, dear
olivia

By: Meredith

Meredith — Thu, 02 Aug 2007 16:44:22 +0000

You have vast reservoirs of courage you haven’t begun to employ yet, and I think one day you’re going to jump out of that train, not going back to the past that your heart won’t let go, but forward, into the grand, blank, intoxicating unknown. And you’re going to realize that you’re not just the sum of lovely memories and old friends and faded photographs. You’re something more than all of your past selves combined, something stronger and better and braver.

By: talena

talena — Thu, 02 Aug 2007 04:29:28 +0000

i don’t really want to stop and stay too long in the memories. i get too embarrassed by the enormously stupid things i did back in high school. like being a drama queen all the time. i really relate to what randy said about wanting to make a useful life. i think that’s why i’ve enjoyed teaching even though there are many (MANY) days where i just want to smack the kids around. so professionally my life is pretty good.

of course, i’d also really like for my personal life to get good again. because right now, it’s pretty damn dreary. instead of new year’s resolutions that start january 1st, i like to make new year’s resolutions that start when the new school year starts. so that’s my resolution. i’m going to get a head start on it right now.

By: Randy

Randy — Wed, 01 Aug 2007 22:59:18 +0000

Wow-

I know where you are. I think the difference between you and I is that I sub-consciously, intentionally forget about eras in my life (is that possible) so that I don’t have to deal with the anxiety of the separation.

I remember not much about High School except that I loved it. I’m happy there. Same thing with college. I loved UT and all that went with it. I remember little about the details of while I was there.

If someone asked me to write my memoirs or something, I really would have to make crap up or find people like you who could tell me what happened in my own life so I could write it down . . .

I’ve really been impressed over the past few months about what a life should look like. In doing so, I’m compelled to make certain that through all of these times in my life (HS, College, Post-College, Marriage, etc.) that my life is not wasted. As fun as CCHS and UT were, life should be more than good times – although good times are good.

I’ve come to my own conclusions about what a wasted life looks like and what a useful life looks like – I won’t bore you with the details. Although I’m sad that it took me 28 and a half years to get here, I’m glad I’m here now while I still have a somewhat decent mind and body to do whatever I can to make certain that when my forgotten children and abandoned possible selves look back to me, they might still be proud of what I’ve done here and the self I was chosen to be.