extravaganza

naomi’s first birthday blow-out

ben kweller: lollipop

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[squee warning: this blog contains a ridiculously high amount of squee. if you suffer from a nervous disorder or are just an old crusty grumpy pants who hates anything sweet, then you might want to NEVER SPEAK TO ME AGAIN COS WHAT KIND OF PERSON ARE YOU?!!!]

on saturday, i attended one of the best birthday parties in recent memory. it was a totally cray cray, blow-out of a shindig.

my favorite sweet pea, naomi, turned one year old!

hallo, beautiful!

all of the usual party people were there:

we are SO naomi’s entourage.
and yes, we got to wear party hats. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WORE A PARTY HAT? exactly.

that’s jessica on the left (obvs) and kristen, naomi’s lovely mother, on the right. jessica’s hat string broke, which you KNOW means the party got wiiiiiild!

like all rock stars, naomi spent a large portion of her party in the pool. it was packed with scenesters.

naomi also spent some quality time with her friend, mr. mango.

in fact, naomi wouldn’t let mr. mango leave her side, even after several (ok, two dozen) dips in the pool.

mr. mango even left pieces of himself in the pool, which was nice.

note the wardrobe addition of the plastic chain boa. nicely done, future socialite pants!

as members of the adoring public, matt, amber, jessica and i just sat around the pool and gazed at our princess.

seriously, can we get party hats for the fourth of july? or just for saturday? sunday brunch? thursday drinks?

matt wants to be a wizard when he grows up. or a princess. either one.

apparently, mr. mango couldn’t keep up with naomi’s social stamina, so she moved on to watermelon.

one of the things naomi and i have in common is that we are both v. v. serious about food. i mean, just LOOK at that focus! that determination!

anna and naomi are showing that watermelon NO MERCY. anna even went for the rind, cos she’s hard core.

meanwhile, matt snuck into the hammock for a little siesta. you know it’s tough keeping up with naomi.

he sort of looks like the Infamous Birthday Bandit, don’t you think?

FINALLY, after a few hints from naomi (read: me, interpreting naomi’s facial expressions and sign language), it was time for the CAKE!!!!! the best part the CAKE!!!!!!

naomi discovered the joys of elastic under her chin.

no pain, no gain, little lady.

when naomi first saw her cake, she had a little “MTV’s my sweet sixteen” moment.

DAD! GAH! i said i wanted a cake shaped like a MANGO! ugh. i am SO bored with this. REMOVE THIS CAKE IMMEDIATELY FROM MY SIGHT.

ok, not really, cos naomi is incapable of being anything but beautiful and wonderful. look at this happy family!!

yay!!!! cake time!!! with sprinkles and smiles!

it turns out that naomi had never eaten cake before (kristen, you call this parenting?!). so, at first she was a little unsure on how to proceed.

touch the frosting… feel the cake…

at this point in the investigation, the results are inconclusive.

and now she’s going for another mouthful…

ok, i think she liked it. whew. i don’t know if i could deal with my little sugarbean hating on cake.

of course, we can’t all grow up to be cake connoisseurs like moi.

I AM AVAILABLE FOR BIRTHDAY PARTIES. CALL ME.

now it was time for the second best part (ok, third, if you count mr. mango): prezzies!!!!!

everyone knows the best part of presents is the wrapping paper.

even though she can’t read yet, i gave naomi “blueberries for sal,” cos it was one of my favorite books as a child. and it’s about food, obvs.

naomi, i look forward to many more years of watching you grow up and introducing you to all of the important things in life, like cupcakes, regina spektor and late night taco cabana.

i love you, sweet little pants!

LINKS

pirates + jesus + jump roping = why youtube was invented.

i can’t believe this isn’t photoshopped. but it’s for real. i swear. MEET THE ZORSE, star of a future disney show, i’m sure.

remember aldo, and how much you wanted to take him home and make him yr bff 4ever? well, size matters, ya’ll. size matters.

hey philadelphia! THANKS FOR THE NIGHTMARES. gah. i will never step foot in the ocean again.

i thought vampires turned into bats, not peacocks…

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