Poshdeluxe

semisonic: closing time

on wednesday, i spent my last night at the alamo drafthouse on colorado street. and for the record, it was awesome.

knowing that i could never go back, i tried to soak in all of the details that have become ordinary to me over the years. for example, here’s the view i’ve seen at least once a week for, oh, the past two years:

i kept trying to remind myself that THIS WAS IT, but honestly, when place is so familiar, you can’t imagine it not being there anymore.

the sign on the door gave me a preview of the glory to come:

walking up the stairs, i was greeted by karen and fernando. just like every other night.

except tonight, when i hit the top of the stairs, i was handed a glass of wine! this has never happened. but i LIKED IT!

the wine was the introduction to the “big night” feast, an INCREDIBLE array of SIX courses perfectly matched with the food in the movie. i mean, just LOOK at this spread:

like i always say, if you’re gonna go out, do it in STYLE… with food. always with food.

well, i don’t know if i’ve ever really said that before, to be honest, but i’m sure i’ve said something to that effect. at least, the food part.

there was even a pig, like the one they bring out in the movie!

all of the vegetarians in the house can feel proud of themselves now.

the kitchen and waitstaff were busy preparing the first course, a chicken consumée. i like the geometry of this picture. plus, there’s food in it.

i walked into the theater and found it to be a little more posh than usual! there were flowers and candles everywhere!

they even dressed up the side tables with table clothes! fancy pants!

i think one of the main things i’ll miss about the original alamo is the community of people who work there. many of them i’m sure will surface at the ritz, but there’s just something about this particular crew that won’t be recaptured in a different space. i made sure to document everyone so i won’t have to miss their faces so much over the summer.

here’s tim, who manages mondo tees:

i spend a lot of time with tim during the spike & mike shows. he used to run a comic book store, which is AWESOME.

meet josh and robert, the debonair boys of the waitstaff:

here’s caitlin, who always seems to be having a good time. she makes me smile.

joe didn’t want to take his picture alone, so he closed his eyes to be with henri.

this is carrie and jessica. they are tough cookies, let me tell you.

and finally, annie! according to henri, she makes the most tips out of anyone. cos she RULES THE SCHOOL.

sean is the projectionist and has to put up with a lot of crap, especially during open screen night (THAR SHE BLOWS) and air guitar/sex. i seriously would never be able to handle his job.

and of course, the fearless caitlin!

owen and his wife jodi sat next to me. one of the regulars came by and gave owen and henri flowers because the sing-alongs “changed her life.” and all they get for that is a rose? seriously, lady?

don’t you want to go to prom with them?!!

henri got another gift which is ONE OF THE MOST SPECTACULAR THINGS I HAVE EVER SEEN:

I KNOW!! and it’s REAL!!!!!

he might have left it at the theater though. which is probably bad news bears.

moving on!

the feast began, and DANG it was tasty. i didn’t get to take many pictures of the food, cos it got dark (duh, we were watching a movie!). but here’s the risotto, three flavors and colors– just like in the film!

to start the show, tim and karrie league got on stage and thanked everyone who has worked hard to make the alamo so incredibly amazing. apparently, they had placed bets on who would cry first, but both of them Stayed Strong.

we watched a selection of trailers since the first night the theater opened, and i was really glad that i had never attended the cannibal film feast (seriously? gross). i got to see henri’s frogger trailer again, which made me HOPPY! ha ha ha.

“big night” was, of course, utterly charming, and there was something quite poignant about watching the last big night of a restaurant during the last big night of a theater.

next came the part i was most excited about: EARTHQUAKE!!!!

now, don’t get me wrong. i really hate this movie. i actually hate most disaster flicks, cos they either give me the heebie jeebies or just make me wish for the actual end of the world so that the movie will be over. but this time, we were watching “earthquake” with… THESE HUMONGO SPEAKERS:

these speakers were POWERFUL FORCES OF NATURE.

tim introduced the show and mentioned that part of his motivation in showing this film was to annoy the hell out of cuba libre, the cuban bar downstairs. apparently, they play their music really loud at night, so many of the midnight movies have featured a techno beat soundtrack.

well, i’m pretty sure these speakers may have blown them to actual cuba.

everyone got a hard hat, cos tim was afraid the ceiling might actually fall. we even had to sign liability forms promising that we wouldn’t sue the alamo if we got injured. la la la! no problem!

here’s me, making my dad proud:

cos i don’t wanna SHAKE HANDS WITH DANGER.

caitlin and i began to refer to ourselves as “hot construction mamas.” which, of course, we were.

it was funny to look around at the sea of shiny, yellow helmets in the audience. i felt like we were all about to go spelunking or something.

the movie began, and when the first quake happened… these speakers did NOT DISAPPOINT. sweet fancy MOSES there was a deep, deep rumbling followed by a shakity shake shaking like you wouldn’t believe. in fact, i think i was at the epicenter of the quake, cos my wine glass fell off of the table and soaked my arse.

STUPID EARTHQUAKE! YOU MADE ME WET MY PANTS!

jodi, sitting next to me, also had a wineglass incident, but we were the only ones.

i guess i can’t help it if i’m always at the Center Of The Action.

a few more quakes shook the hmphness right out of me (i made sure to hold on carefully to my glass), and by the end, even though charlton heston died (i think?) and i hated everyone in the movie and i couldn’t believe they ended it the way they did… i was having a blast!

note how awake i look.

lars got up on stage to introduce the final film of the night, since it was of the “weird wednesday” variety.

the film, “night warning,” is a campy 70’s horror flick featuring susan tyrrell, who was actually there that night!

as you can see, this is a far cry from “you’ve got mail.” i.e. not my type of movie.

fortunately, i didn’t have to see much of it, cos i fell asleep!

yes, even on the v. last night of the alamo, i managed to pull a sarah.

this is because i am a professional.

however, i woke up just in time to watch susan tyrrell kill a ton of people and then die about five times. wow. great.

i AM glad, though, that i was awake for the Q&A afterwards. cos, guess what? susan tyrell is cray cray. i mean, certifiable fruit loops. and just being old and living in hollywood doesn’t explain the fact that she has TWO WOODEN LEGS. COVERED IN TATTOOS.

[sorry for the blurriness, it's the best i could do]

and that’s just the BEGINNING, you guys. just the TIP of the loony tunes ICEBERG!

when she talks, she sort of stops in mid sentence, pauses, and then starts a totally new sentence on a different topic. she seems to hate EVERYONE that she has ever worked with, and she also told us about some songs she wrote… that someone stole… and told us his name, so we could beat him up. and she kept saying that she wanted to get off the stage cos her legs were filling with pee.

it was like a fire sale at the funny farm.

the audience found her to be both hilarious:

and, well… sort of horrifying!

i think there was a collective decision among the audience to never, ever let themselves get to be this cray.

after the Q&A, tim came back up on stage and led us all in a final toast to the alamo. i wanted to shake myself, to say, “look! this is it! are you appreciating this?” but honestly, the whole evening was just another night at the alamo. and by that i mean, a night full of spectacles, weirdness, good food and drink, laughter and the pure enjoyment of life.

except this time, at the end of the night, people took their chairs home.

while people wrestled with their souvenirs, henri got on stage and asked people to share their first alamo memories. fernando, of course, volunteered.

my favorite, though, was tim, recreating his infamous napoleon dynamite dance (in a trailer for mondo tees, he did the dance and actually *destroyed* his knee. you can see him collapse and hold his knee, yelling for a doctor. audiences laughed hysterically, not thinking it was real. or maybe they did. who knows?).

you can watch a snippet of it here!

i hated to leave, because i knew i could never come back. i felt like lucy leaving narnia, like that feeling when the morning begins to creep into yr dreams. but it was 4:30 AM, and for some reason, i didn’t want to be around for the alamo’s last, dying breath.

so i said good-bye, knowing that we would meet again under ritzier circumstances.