Poshdeluxe

m.i.a.: bird flu (diplo remix)

on saturday morning, i drove down to houston for my dear high school friend jennifer’s bridal shower. the night before, my tummy felt a little weird, but as this is somewhat normal, i just ignored it. however, several times during the drive i considered pulling over, in the rain, and throwing up. which obviously is not favorable. so i didn’t.

by the time my mom and i got to the shower, things hadn’t really improved, although i was happy to see everyone, including my preggers friend keriann. i tried to stay away from the food table (this alone made people realize i was ill cos it’s like, the flame to my moth during any social gathering) and stick to sprite. one of the high points of the party was this conversation i had with jennifer:

sarah: i can’t believe yr wedding is getting so close!

jennifer: YOU can’t believe it?! *i* can’t believe it. it’s insane.

sarah: i know, but it’s so exciting!

jennifer: yeah… [jennifer continued to talk, but her words were lost to me in an overwhelming wave of nausea].

sarah: jennifer, i am really sorry to end this conversation, but i have to throw up now.

jennifer: wow, ok. yes. please do.

so i threw up in the bathroom (sorry! i know! gross!) and returned to the shower to play some game where we had to guess different spices by smelling them. um, yeah. one whiff of coriander almost sent me Over The Edge again. and DILL?! this little frivolity turned out to be the most treacherous shower game i’ve ever endured. toilet papering the bride is A CHILDREN’S GAME compared to this stuff.

anyway, i made it home and laid on the couch like that crying woman waving her hankie in edward gorey’s opening credits for “mystery.” ahhhh AHHHHH ahhh, etc. etc. i won’t bore you with the rest of the unseemly details, but they involve more vomiting, sickness, fever, pain… but no lesions. THANK THE SWEET HEAVENS. i’ve never had a lesion, and i fear them. almost as much as hunger.

fortunately, my parents were there to spoil me rotten while i lay, moaning, underneath a blanket with west highland white terriers on it. ONLY CHILD! HOLLA! and while there really wasn’t much they could do, their sweetness made me feel better. for example, my dad called me from the dvd store:

dad: have you seen little miss sunshine?

sarah: yes.

dad: have you seen stranger than fiction?

sarah: yes.

dad: have you seen material girls? it has the duff sisters!

sarah: dad, i love you for knowing that. and while i would secretly enjoy watching it, i won’t torture you.

dad: how about music & lyrics?

sarah: I LOVE YOU DAD!

after a little more vomiting (G to the ROSS) action around 10:00, i went to bed. and slept like a wee babe.

by sunday morning, i was definitely better. pathetically weak, but better. so i stuck around for more pampering! yes!

my parents figured that i had food poisoning. which made me feel tragically sad. ET TU, BRUTE?

but it turns out, i had a nasty case of the stomach flu? know how i know? cos i made my mom sick on monday!

i know, i felt really reeeeeally bad about that. i’m sorry, mom. fortunately, it seems like she didn’t get hit quite so hard, and she’ll be back to 100% by thursday (when we leave for NYC EEEEEEEEEEEE!).

by monday night, i was almost all the way better. so i rewarded my stomach by going to see waitress with kc, kiersten, jessica and amber.

you guys. THIS MOVIE WAS MADE FOR ME.

here’s why:

1) it stars keri russell, who i have ADORED since i watched the MMC back in ye olde days. sometimes i forget that she is not felicity, but i swear i would never mistakenly yell out “felicity!” if i saw her on the street. i do realize she is keri russell. i really do.

2) IT’S ALL ABOUT PIE!!!!!!!!!! THERE IS PIE ALL OVER THIS MOVIE.

3) it co-stars nathan fillion, who reeeeally creeped me out on buffy. but in this movie, he’s just a nice, handsome doctor pants.

4) matlock is in it!!! i love him!!!!!! i swear, i would trust him to solve any of my mysteries, even though he’s super old now.

the intro is totally porn. and by that i mean, it’s just a montage of DIFFERENT DELICIOUS PIES BEING MADE. like this:

you can’t really tell in the picture, but there is DARK CHOCOLATE underneath those berries. it is hiding there, but I WILL FIND IT AND EAT IT.

after two days of starving due to fear of the upchuck factor, i was overjoyed to just SEE amazing food. on a huge screen. these pies were BIGGER THAN MY BODY.

once again, i wish i was keri russell. er, a character played by keri russell. except for the horrible husband part in the movie.

anyway, this film is really wonderful. it’s sweet, but not too sweet. it’s light and dark and golden. it’s funny and sad, and you can’t shake the bittersweetness of knowing that it was adrienne shelly’s last film. it makes you think at least a little about yr own life, about settling or starting from scratch, about being happy for yr friends when you need to be, and at other times, reminding them that maybe, something better is out there.

i will warn you, however, that if you see this movie without a pie nearby, you’re gonna be really unhappy.

which begs the question:

HOUSE OF PIES, WILL YOU PLEASE OPEN UP A RESTAURANT IN AUSTIN?

ain’t too proud to beg,

tummy of posh