First things first, this isn’t Sarah, this is matt pretending to be Sarah and failing. Next, I’m interested in this.
They even have a blog tracking the old people and their involvement in wii: here.
Archive for May, 2007
big audio dynamite: rush (new york city club version)
this song sounds like something from the big business soundtrack, or really, any late 80s movie about life in the big city (it’s actually from so i married an axe murderer).
GUESS WHAT PANTSERS?
i’m going to NEW YORK CITY TOMORROW! with MY MOM!
and i am cray cray excited.
which is why this post is gonna be, um, spastic. instead of writing this entry, i’ve spent all day printing out info on places sue (my mom) and i are going to check out! she’s never been, so we’re gonna do it up tourist style and see central park (which you should always visit, even if you’re not a tourist, obvs), the statue of liberty, the library (she was a librarian, so it’s a big deal), etc.
although i’ve been to the city a few times, i’m really excited about trying new places recommended to me by people who know me. and by that i mean, all of these are food recommendations.
i’m going to feast on a BAJILLION types of RICE PUDDING, thanks to jessica.
mom and i are gonna get our fondue on (oh cheese, i am COMING FOR YOU), thanks to carter.
i will perhaps achieve nirvana, thanks to kiersten.
anyway, it’s gonna be so so so amazing, and of course i’ll be blogging it to bits next week. i’ve been in love with NYC ever since i saw “big business” when i was nine. oh and also when i read the babysitter’s club super special #6, “new york, new york!” btw you can read an excellent review of this fine piece of literature here (thanks for the link, meredith!). note that this review was published ON MY BIRTHDAY THIS YEAR. coincidence? please.
anyway, back to business. i mean, BIG BUSINESS.
seriously, i loved the pants off of this movie when i was growing up. i wanted to be just like bette midler and stay at the plaza and eat at fancy restaurants and even get a mini-golf engagement ring SO BAD!
i can’t go to NYC without thinking about it, which is why i mentioned it in the following g-chat with josh this morning:
me: yes! i’m leaving tomorrow! eeeeee
josh: huzzah!
me: i’m excited
josh: that will be so much fun
8:37 AM just the pitre ladies, out in the big city
me
: i know
it’s totally a movie plot
like big business
but with mother/daughter
hopefully we will not switch bodies
egads
8:40 AM
josh: omg, you are totally going to switch bodies
8:41 AM and you will learn Valuable Life Lessons
me: ok it’s just too creepy
disney TRIED to make it non-creepy
but even disney failed
maybe mom and i will stumble into a petty crime ring and bring them to justice accidentally
8:42 AM josh: that’s also acceptable
or maybe you’ll find out there’s a twin sister you never knew you had!
me: NO! i’ll find out that i’m actually a PRINCESS!
yes
8:43 AM i always knew my dad had some royal flair
josh: Al is total royalty
but like in the movies, very unassuming!
maybe you’ll fall in love with a prince!
She was just a small town american girl, born in Louisiana. He was a charming, handsome heir to the throne
8:44 AM me: hmmm. where does henri fit into this?
the diamond in the rough?
josh: i think “vengeful killer”
and on that note, NEW YORK PANTS OR BUST!
[from Big Business]
Sadie Ratliff: Isn’t it exciting?
Rose Ratliff: Oh yeah, the noise, the smog, the crowds, the muggers, sex fiends, white slavers, politicians, it’s a pistol. I got about as much use for it as a toad has for spit pearls!
m.i.a.: bird flu (diplo remix)
on saturday morning, i drove down to houston for my dear high school friend jennifer’s bridal shower. the night before, my tummy felt a little weird, but as this is somewhat normal, i just ignored it. however, several times during the drive i considered pulling over, in the rain, and throwing up. which obviously is not favorable. so i didn’t.
by the time my mom and i got to the shower, things hadn’t really improved, although i was happy to see everyone, including my preggers friend keriann. i tried to stay away from the food table (this alone made people realize i was ill cos it’s like, the flame to my moth during any social gathering) and stick to sprite. one of the high points of the party was this conversation i had with jennifer:
sarah: i can’t believe yr wedding is getting so close!
jennifer: YOU can’t believe it?! *i* can’t believe it. it’s insane.
sarah: i know, but it’s so exciting!
jennifer: yeah… [jennifer continued to talk, but her words were lost to me in an overwhelming wave of nausea].
sarah: jennifer, i am really sorry to end this conversation, but i have to throw up now.
jennifer: wow, ok. yes. please do.
so i threw up in the bathroom (sorry! i know! gross!) and returned to the shower to play some game where we had to guess different spices by smelling them. um, yeah. one whiff of coriander almost sent me Over The Edge again. and DILL?! this little frivolity turned out to be the most treacherous shower game i’ve ever endured. toilet papering the bride is A CHILDREN’S GAME compared to this stuff.
anyway, i made it home and laid on the couch like that crying woman waving her hankie in edward gorey’s opening credits for “mystery.” ahhhh AHHHHH ahhh, etc. etc. i won’t bore you with the rest of the unseemly details, but they involve more vomiting, sickness, fever, pain… but no lesions. THANK THE SWEET HEAVENS. i’ve never had a lesion, and i fear them. almost as much as hunger.
fortunately, my parents were there to spoil me rotten while i lay, moaning, underneath a blanket with west highland white terriers on it. ONLY CHILD! HOLLA! and while there really wasn’t much they could do, their sweetness made me feel better. for example, my dad called me from the dvd store:
dad: have you seen little miss sunshine?
sarah: yes.
dad: have you seen stranger than fiction?
sarah: yes.
dad: have you seen material girls? it has the duff sisters!
sarah: dad, i love you for knowing that. and while i would secretly enjoy watching it, i won’t torture you.
dad: how about music & lyrics?
sarah: I LOVE YOU DAD!
after a little more vomiting (G to the ROSS) action around 10:00, i went to bed. and slept like a wee babe.
by sunday morning, i was definitely better. pathetically weak, but better. so i stuck around for more pampering! yes!
my parents figured that i had food poisoning. which made me feel tragically sad. ET TU, BRUTE?
but it turns out, i had a nasty case of the stomach flu? know how i know? cos i made my mom sick on monday!
i know, i felt really reeeeeally bad about that. i’m sorry, mom. fortunately, it seems like she didn’t get hit quite so hard, and she’ll be back to 100% by thursday (when we leave for NYC EEEEEEEEEEEE!).
by monday night, i was almost all the way better. so i rewarded my stomach by going to see waitress with kc, kiersten, jessica and amber.
you guys. THIS MOVIE WAS MADE FOR ME.
here’s why:
1) it stars keri russell, who i have ADORED since i watched the MMC back in ye olde days. sometimes i forget that she is not felicity, but i swear i would never mistakenly yell out “felicity!” if i saw her on the street. i do realize she is keri russell. i really do.
2) IT’S ALL ABOUT PIE!!!!!!!!!! THERE IS PIE ALL OVER THIS MOVIE.
3) it co-stars nathan fillion, who reeeeally creeped me out on buffy. but in this movie, he’s just a nice, handsome doctor pants.
4) matlock is in it!!! i love him!!!!!! i swear, i would trust him to solve any of my mysteries, even though he’s super old now.
the intro is totally porn. and by that i mean, it’s just a montage of DIFFERENT DELICIOUS PIES BEING MADE. like this:
you can’t really tell in the picture, but there is DARK CHOCOLATE underneath those berries. it is hiding there, but I WILL FIND IT AND EAT IT.
after two days of starving due to fear of the upchuck factor, i was overjoyed to just SEE amazing food. on a huge screen. these pies were BIGGER THAN MY BODY.
once again, i wish i was keri russell. er, a character played by keri russell. except for the horrible husband part in the movie.
anyway, this film is really wonderful. it’s sweet, but not too sweet. it’s light and dark and golden. it’s funny and sad, and you can’t shake the bittersweetness of knowing that it was adrienne shelly’s last film. it makes you think at least a little about yr own life, about settling or starting from scratch, about being happy for yr friends when you need to be, and at other times, reminding them that maybe, something better is out there.
i will warn you, however, that if you see this movie without a pie nearby, you’re gonna be really unhappy.
which begs the question:
HOUSE OF PIES, WILL YOU PLEASE OPEN UP A RESTAURANT IN AUSTIN?
ain’t too proud to beg,
tummy of posh
notorious b.i.g.: mo money mo problems (ft puff daddy and mase)
official party song of wiess college
last night, i attended one of my favorite alamo sing-alongs of all time (and that’s saying a lot):
loosely translated, “jiggy crunk” means songs that made me dance like a total fool in junior high and then at night i sat in my bedroom and waited for them to come on the radio so i could tape them, and then memorize every single word by heart to impress my friends.
people are still amazed when i can rap every single lyric to “bust a move” without losing a beat. total ice breaker, btw.
“other hits”? are you serious?
anyway, henri put together a show that made me wish i was back in my slick 5-7-9 outfit, dancing in a big circle of giggling girls (no boys allowed helloooo gross). fortunately, several members of pants world were at the theater to help me get my dance party on. and they were EXCITED!
erica’s facial expression actually makes her look like a junior high kid who just got a brand new fake id. and kc is… well, she’s TOTALLY FREAKING OUT.
jessica was excited. it was her last day of school, so she had been out doing teacherly things with her teacher friends, like, i dunno, eating apples, stapling stuff, decorating bulletin boards and oh yeah, drinking.
i know it’s hard to imagine based on this picture, but JESSICA WAS EXCITED. and she kept reminding me of this fact. EXCITED EXCITED EXCITED.
jiggy crunk really brings out the best in people, because there are no pretenses. no one is trying to be hip. i mean, when you’re dancing to music by people like this:
is being cool even a possibility?
no. no, it isn’t.
the show was a mix of pop rap throughout the 90s, so along with the hammer, we also enjoyed such gems as “no scrubs” and “gangsta’s paradise.” now, at most sing-alongs, there are people who sing, and people who don’t. but let me tell you, when “gangsta’s paradise” came on, people RAPPED THEIR BRAINS OUT. it was incredible. the theater was packed with white people gesturing madly and throwing all kinds of wack gang signs into the air as they yelled about how “yr homies might be lined in chalk!” i thought i was the only person who (hypothetically) bought the song as a cassette single and (hypothetically) memorized every word, even though i was (hypothetically) in high school at the time.
i’m a educated fool, with money on my mind
got my ten in my hand and a gleam in my eye
i’m a loced-out gangsta, set-trippin banger
and my homies is down, so don’t arouse my anger, fool!
for reals, yo.
the show went from high stylin’ gangstas (”big pimpin”) to daisy-filled, neon montages. yep, i’m talking about the neneh cherry video for “buffalo stance.” that is some serious set-trippin bangin’, you know what i mean? SUCKA!
when this kind of music comes on, there is no way you can stay in yr seat. it’s just not physically possible. i think there’s some sort of chemical in yr brain that’s triggered by pop rap that causes yr body to convulse in the most awkward manner possible (sort of like a seizure).
which is exactly what we did.
it was the best dance party in recent memory, and pants world totally represented.
check out chris (in the white shirt) pulling his “carlton” (from fresh prince) moves. he is FOR REAL.
sometimes, the music brings back such POWERFUL, POTENT memories, that you just kind of have to sit there, in shock. whether it’s emotional shock, or just disbelief that you actually thought this music was badass, i don’t know.
clearly, benjy was having a moment.
there was even a dance contest during the encore song, “baby got back.” i’ve never seen so many people willingly get on the alamo stage and shake their booty around. it was almost as incredible as the video itself.
CLASSAY!
basically, the entire night felt like i had time machined back to those carefree, innocent days of skidz pants and big bangs, when you knew a boy liked you if he totally averted his eyes from yr face as he walked by you on the dance floor. except now, i could dance without shame.
JIGGY CRUNK YOU SET ME FREE.
word to yr mother.
LINKS
this article about high fashion amidst poverty in the congo is fascinating. and maybe a little depressing. but DAMN they’ve got style!
deep sea creatures have always scared the pants off me (tiny, pointed teeth? weird luminary thing coming from head? huge, bulging eyes that exist for no reason, cos it’s pitch black down there? NO THANKS) but then i read this and watched a slide show of incredibly beautiful, bizarre creatures. and now i’m not scared anymore! do you hear me? I’M NOT SCARED (ah, i love home alone references)! mostly cos of this little dumbo octopus. seriously, that is what they are called.
what was that? i’m sorry, all i can hear right now in my brain is SQUEEEEEEEEEEEE.
so there’s a site where you can look up what song was #1 on the charts when you were born. fun, right?! SURE! and now i know that on the day i was born, the entire country was listening to “tragedy” by the bee gees. great. juuuuust great.
miracle fortress: have you seen in your dreams
i’ve been thinking a lot today about ambition and dreams and goals and how they all go together.
in my head, i define the words as such:
- ambition is a drive, an energy that pushes you forward, up, quickly.
- a dream is an idea, a wish, a hope that inspires and beckons.
- a goal is a tangible way to reach a dream– it’s a realistic breakdown of your dream into small steps.
if you have all of them, is that better? it seems crippling to have only one. can you reach a dream without ambition? will goals take you anywhere without a dream?
i used to look back on my school days and think that i had ambition. now, i think i had only goals. score well on a test, plan an event, get a part in the play. these are goals, not ambitions.
if you asked me what i wanted to be when i was three, i would have said, “a stand-up comedian” (i blame my dad for teaching me cheesy jokes, like Q: how do you fix a broken tomato? A: with tomato paste! ha HA! now you know where my amazing sense of humor came from). a year later, maybe a hair dresser. or a princess. i thought dreams came into focus with age, and yet the wistful, wondering land of my brain seems as scattered and blurry as it did when i was seven. the only difference might be a lower number of unicorns.
i’ve still got goals. i’ve always had goals. i’m good at goals.
but i’d like to pick up a little ambition. sift through my dreams until something solid and shiny shows up. i imagine it would feel good, to glimpse something more than an endless sea of sand, to feel something real and significant brush against my fingers.
until then, the little things sustain me. for example, today i received the most magnificent email that i’ve ever ever ever gotten at my current job:
****
Please come by the Visual Resources Collection (Sutton 3.128) for a free homemade cupcake(s).
The choices are:
red velvet with cream cheese frosting
chocolate cake with vanilla frosting
chocolate cake with almond frosting
chocolate cake with coconut buttercream frosting
chocolate cake with chocolate frosting
chocolate chai cake with chai buttercream frosting
And as an added bonus we have homemade Italian cream cake.
Don’t be shy!
****
don’t be SHY? are you KIDDING? more like DON’T TRIP WHEN YOU’RE RUNNING UP THE STAIRS. you better believe i was up there five minutes after i read the email.
i guess when it comes to cupcakes, ambition is NOT a problem. no sirreee.
[i ate half of a red velvet cupcake and half of a double chocolate one]
LINKS
i like the new white stripes video. especially meg’s blind white eye. it reminds me of my neighbor’s dog when i was a kid, which actually freaked me out. but meg makes it look zzzexy!
now this is a diet i can get behind. especially because i think i actually lost five pounds during a certain scene in pan’s labyrinth WHICH I WILL NOT MENTION HERE because i don’t want the heebie jeebies to come back.
ok, i know there’s a lot of people out there trying to get you to watch videos of cats on the internet. i KNOW, i know. but seriously, you have GOT to watch this video of a sweet, slightly (ok, v.) cray old lady who taught her cat how to EAT WITH A FORK. because, she says, she wanted to share the dinner table with more than just her husband. i guess his table manners must be pretty bad.
roxette: it must have been love
[thank you, matt]
i know that song seems like a random (and retro! early 90s heyyyyy!) choice, but i’ve been loading a lot of my old cds into itunes cos i’ve decided to downsize. at one time, a massive cd collection was my pride and joy, but now? it’s just heavy. and i’ve got to move this summer, so heavy is totally unhip. like, soooo five minutes ago.
yeah yeah i have to move. have i written about this drama yet? well, they’re tearing down my apartment complex. for condos. i know, i can’t believe it. gentrification isn’t supposed to happen to WHITE PEOPLE. gah. so i’ve been trying to figure out where i want live, and suddenly i feel v. poor. remind me why i’m working in education again? oh that’s right, it’s cos i love STUDENTS! right right of course yes.
so if you have any HOT TIPS re: housing, lemme know. and no, i don’t want roommates. also, i don’t want to live in san marcos, thank you.
this apartment search, combined with a slight lack of sleep, has made me CRANKY PANTS. and what do i do in the morning, when i’m trying to prepare myself for another long day of internet surfing and ridiculous bureaucracy? i wear something that gives me SUPERHUMAN POWER.
it could be extra sparkly eyeshadow or bright green shirt. it could be the new lightening bolt necklace that henri gave me, which is now known as my Harry Potter Power Bolt thanks to the doorman at club deville last night.
or it could be what i’m wearing today: MY NEW ROBOT LOVE SOCKS!
THEY ARE PINK AND PURPLE AND WEAR THEIR HEARTS ON THE OUTSIDE!!! I KNOW!!!!
in the interest of full disclosure, those are not my feet. amazingly, someone else has these socks and posted a picture of them on their livejournal! it’s nice to know that there’s another blogger out there who wrestles with all of the Tough Issues like me.
anyway, my robot socks protect me. they ward off bad days, rude people, dumb paperwork and even hunger. ok, well, that last one is a biiiiit of a stretch. but we’re just talking superhuman power, not GODLIKE power. i think i might need a robot love dress to avoid counting down the hours until lunch or dinner time. or maybe a cupcakemobile. ahem.
so, what’s yr version of robot love socks? c’mon! share share share. yr own secret power may help someone out of a bad day. and that’s, like, community service! good karma! pay it forward!
LINKS
i know i’m a hard sleeper (i once fell off the top bunk onto a concrete floor during girl scout camp and CONTINUED SLEEPING and NO it wasn’t coma-like sleeping), but if someone shot me in the head while i was asleep, i think i might, maybe, just stir. a little. this guy is my idol. although i would like to point out that i had NOT been drinking at girl scout camp. i mean, maybe i OD’ed on s’mores, but…
did you guys ever compete in speech tournaments in junior high? i did. and there were always kids doing scenes from the freaking “bad seed” and i HATED them cos they always won. and my speech teacher wouldn’t let me do anything from the “bad seed” cos acting like the spawn of satan is not something public education should reward. anyway. speech tournaments. i swear i saw this monologue, oh, about ten times. but i don’t quite recall the sudden outburst of “twinkle twinkle little star.” hmm. must be a generational thing. [seriously, if you ever ever did a speech tournament, you MUST watch this clip. you will die.]
have you ever read a post on craig’s list written by some dude/girl looking for the hottie they saw last night? have you ever thought, “hey! that’s my bf/gf!” no? what about just pretending that it is, so you can write a response, and then that person can angrily write back, and then you can post it on yr blog? no? well, you missed out on a v. v. clever prank, my friend.
this isn’t a link but: did you know that kurt cobain is selling doc martens?
does he look like he’s crying? oh cos guess what. HE IS. CRYING UP IN HEAVEN over the souls lost to capitalism.
hmm. or maybe he’s laughing, cos he knows courtney love is going to H E DOUBLE HOCKEY STICKS!
[matt's working on my audio problem. THANK YOU COMPUTER ROCKET SCIENTIST]
UPDATE
since I fixed the audio, I get to chose the song - Matt
Mayhem - Deathcrush
today’s post is gonna be all linky links, cos there’s a whole lot of cray on the internet today!
hey that rhymes! fun!
whole lotta cray! on the internet today!
ok ok.
1) so first of all, WHY AM I NOT DRIVING ONE OF THESE RIGHT NOW? and WHY HAVE I NEVER THOUGHT OF THIS BEFORE? i mean, all you have to do is take one of my favorite things:
and add wheels!!
GAH! it’s just so OBVIOUS now.
hellooooo future xmas present…
2) this is probably just another internet hoax (dang you, unfortunate nigerian victim!), but did you hear they might, uh, minimize the UT tower?
3) matt turned me on to a new gossipy type blog called jezebel, which is sorta kinda trying to be feminist? or something? whatever. the point is that today, the bloggers took on the oft-abused descriptor of “curves” and freaking TROUNCED it.
4) this summer is stuffed like a hot pocket bursting with film goodness! but don’t worry, when it’s all over, the BEST MOVIE EVER will be on it’s way! i’m only talking about the golden compass, based on the MOST AMAZING YA (sorta) FANTASY TRILOGY OF ALL TIME. the new HD trailer is out and SWEET CRACKER SANDWICH it looks INCREDIBLE! whatever you’re doing right now cannot be as important as watching this piece of cinematic splendor.
5) speaking of trounce, know how i was thinking about eyebrow waxing? well, summer time also means another type of waxing for some (read: hardcore gangsta) girls, and this video provides a bit of insight into the beautiful, life-enhancing procedure (this is seriously SFW, it just shows their faces).
6) PISTOL OF GLORY! my new nickname for everyone, courtesy of go fug yrself.
7) ok, so this is seriously unbelievable. for the new fantastic four movie, the u.s. mint is producing… i am not kidding… no really, this is for reals… JUST READ IT AND BELIEVE IT, OK?!… silver surfer quarters. and they will actually be worth 25 cents. you can USE them. anywhere. or save them, cos, you know, NO ONE ELSE will THINK of collecting such a… collectible. and then maybe some day each quarter will be worth… 26 cents!! YESSSS!!
see? i’m not kidding.
my new plan? save up enough silver surfer quarters to put a down payment on a brand spankin’ new cupcake mobile!! holla!
oasis: i hope, i think, i know
since summer means i’m allowed to read for fun, i’ve decided to occasionally review books that i’ve recently enjoyed. i have no idea if these books will appeal to you guys, especially since most of them will be YA, but consider it a homage to levar burton (seriously, where is that guy?).
the poshdeluxe reading rainbow report
but enough about me… by jancee dunn
tim gave me this book for my birthday. he’s such a good friend that he can READ MY MIND, or at least, read the mind of my amazon wishlist. cos this book had been sitting on it, waiting, pining, pleading for summer.
BEAM (whoah! cool acronym!) is basically jancee dunn’s autobiography, and it is both fascinating and hilarious. why, you say? well, first, she grew up in new jersey, and her family is cray cray… in a good way. her dad is REMARKABLY like my dad, so i totally identify with her adoration of him. i mean, just read this:
****
“Huh,” he’ll say when you tell him that no, you don’t have a carbon monoxide detector. “Guess you didn’t hear about that family in the news, down in Trenton. Went to sleep, never woke up. Some sort of problem with the oven. Carbon monoxide detector is twenty bucks. Your call.” Then comes the Sorrowful Head Shake.
If he comes to visit, he’ll bring along trinkets that are designed to induce complete paranoia: cans of Mace that attach to your keychain, a plastic hood that filters out smoke in case you need to crawl out of your apartment during a fire (”Maybe you’re not aware that most accidents occur at home”), a special doorjamb for use in a hotel room to prevent break-ins during the night, when you’re most vulnerable. “Youve got a constantly changing population in a hotel,” he’ll say grimly, handing over the unwieldy, hard-to-pack device. “You think a security guard can keep track of everybody?”
At the very least, he’ll show up with a sheaf of papers from the latest Consumer Reports, the bible of preparedness, which he keeps in a file cabinet, indexed back to the Regan administration.
****
i mean, is that my dad, mr. safety pants, or what?!! i am *all too familiar* with the Sorrowful Head Shake, not to mention consumer reports. note that not only do i own that doorjamb, i also own a little hammer that will break my car window in case i am ever trapped underwater. i love you, dad!
anyway, jancee is just a fun, relatively normal gal who ended up having two of the coolest jobs in the universe: she was a reporter for rolling stone AND a veejay on MTV2 (back when it was first launched, i.e. when the M actually stood for Music). what’s cool about this book is that, even though she flew around the country meeting brad pitt and bono and justin timberlake (!!!!!), she’s still just a regular person with insecurities, parents who send her newspaper clippings, and extremely comfortable jimjams.
as she chronicles her life, from her first extremely drab office job to her debauched early years at rolling stone to her current work as a sort of freelancer, she inserts small “tip” segments, things she’s learned while interviewing rock stars, celebs and crazies. to give you an idea, here’s some of the section titles:
****
how to approach an R&B artist when you’re the whitest person in the western world
none for me, thanks: gracefully refusing your host’s kind offer of heroin
booze: at least as important as your tape recorder
****
i mean, we’re talking life skills, people!
dunn’s writing is engaging, honest and funny, and she maintains the perfect balance between sharing the amusing (and often compelling) moments of her life and spilling the beans on what it’s like to hang out with mel gibson or dolly parton. for example, did you know that dolly parton snacks on bars of velveeta? if you hang out with her, she’ll give you a cube! and then you’ll put it in yr freezer so you can preserve it forever. i mean, that’s what i’d do… and that’s exactly what jancee dunn did, which is why this book is so great. even though she interviewed famous people for years, she still got a thrill out of touring loretta lynn’s ranch or having a slumber party with stevie nicks. she’s a real person.
the other highlight of her book is her cast of friends and family. my favorite person is lou, her producer from MTV2. here’s why:
****
He came to my apartment a few nights later, dressed in sweatpants for a night in. “I brought you a Whitman’s sampler,” he said, tossing it onto my kitchen table. “Everyone loves a Whitman’s sampler. And it’s no mystery– they have a diagram inside of what’s in each chocolate. At a time liek this, you need certainty. Nothing’s going to let you down.”
He held up a tape. “I also brought over a movie that will really resonate with you right now. It’s called Touched by Evil, starring Paula Abdul in her first and only TV movie. She plays this single career woman, like you. She doesn’t want to be in a relationship because she had a bad experience, but then she meets this dashing stranger, played by Adrian Pasdar, who in real life is married to the squat one in the Dixie Chicks. She opens her heart to him and soon they go into business together.” He sat down on my couch and grabbed my remote control. “Then it turns out he had actually raped her several months earlier,” he said. “That’s the bad experience I was talking about.”
“That’s supposed to be inspiring?”
“Yes, because in the end, she kicks his ass back to jail.”
****
whitman’s samplers?!! lifetime movies?!!! lou is my IDEAL boss.
anyway, i highly recommend this book. if you’re a celebrity gossip addict like me, you’ll love discovering what it’s really like to interview the olsen twins or make conversation after a recent dirty scandal. even if you don’t particularly care what kind of food destiny’s child likes, you’ll savor dunn’s eccentric family and identify with her careening, slightly awkward 20’s.
i give this book: four pants out of four!
today is so gorgeous!
as i walked to my building this morning, i passed clusters of excited families, moms with pearls, dads with ties, kids in wet combed hair and uncomfortable clothes. it’s graduation weekend at UT, and you can *feel* it in the air… tiny particles of anticipation and freedom and “i did it!” swirling around in the breeze. it’s intoxicating.
i sat in my lovely courtyard during lunch and watched a few grandparents totter in and out of the building. the sun tickled my toes and illuminated the white-haired heads of tiny ladies as they moved ever so slowly across the patio, their stiff motions made languid by the warm, soft breezes. an army of cars, their hazard lights blinking in rhythm, out of rhythm, lined the curb as parents helped their students pack up the studios.
i sat back on my bench and breathed it all in, as much as i could. the scent of endless possibilities carried me back to my own college graduation, when i felt so loved, so light, so immortal!
i missed my grandmothers. i made a mental note to call my parents later, after i phone one of my college roomies to wish her a happy birthday. i breathed in those dancing particles again and held them as they bubbled inside of me, then i slowly let them out, back into the breeze, the blue sky, the smiling sun.
the future still beckons, and today, i think it winked at me.
LINKS
as meredith likes to say, THIS MOVIE IS GOING TO MELT MY FACE OFF. check out the brand new trailer where you actually get to see them TRANSFORM and then FIGHT! holy hell.
um so my dream came true and PEARL THE LANDLORD IS BACK! well, sort of. you can now watch outtakes from the (best ever in the entire universe of all time) video, which makes you realize 1) pearl’s preciousness is really almost impossible to handle 2) pearl herself is hard to handle, i.e. a lot of wrangling was involved in making this video happen. i wanna wrangle pearl!
so reality tv producers MUST be monitoring my brain, cos they’ve invented a new show that is a TOTAL rip-off of my childhood dream: a town full of kids! NO ADULTS ALLOWED! but seriously, this show is for real. and it documents what happens when you dump a school bus full of kids in a new mexico ghost town. and they have to survive! and like clean and cook! and vote on important issues! and most importantly, they have to learn how to all get along… without peeing their pants or crying. shut up, stupid crybabies! gah this show is gonna rule.
[my newsies soundtrack hasn't come in yet-- yes, i just ordered the CD, thank you-- so no music today. cos nothing else would be remotely appropriate]Â
ok, so i lied. the weekend broke down into four, not three, blog parts. and here’s the last!
extremely hetero males may want to skip this post, cos it’s about a musical. a musical with singing and dancing young men in vests and jaunty kerchiefs.
that’s right, i’m talking about NEWSIES!
GAH! the gayness of this poster is BLINDING ME like the bright, burning sun behind the christian bale ballerina. seriously, doesn’t he look like he should be spinning stiffly inside a jewelry box? hmm. i wish he was in mine, actually.
ANYWAY
sunday night, henri hosted the newsies sing-along, an event i have been WHINING to him about for AGES of time. usually, the conversation would go like this:
henri: so we’re planning the next calendar and i–
sarah: NEWSIES!
henri: ahem. and i’m trying to think about what sing-alongs–
sarah: PLEASE DO NEWSIES!!!!!
henri: um i know *you* love newsies, but not everyone–
sarah: TONS OF GIRLS LOVE NEWSIES! THIS SHOW WILL SELL OUT LIKE HOTCAKES!
henri: ok, yr friends won’t fill up a whole theater.
sarah: I SWEAR, THE WORLD IS FULL OF SECRET NEWSIES FANS!
henri: well, i’ll think about it…
sarah: while you’re at it, don’t forget to tell tim to add mac & cheese to the menu. trust me. i know what i’m talking about!
henri: i’m sure you do.
this discussion happened numerous times until FINALLY, henri gave in to my extremely logical rationale and told me he would do it.
after i was all EEEEEEEEEEEE for about five minutes, i emailed my dear junior high friend, talena, and typed EEEEEEEE for about five minutes, too. she immediately replied EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE and promised to drive up for the show, even though she had to drive back to houston the same night.
what, you might ask, could possibly inspire this much dedication?
um, duh!
ok, so, maybe it’s still not clear to you. let me go back a few (ahem) years to ye olde junior high days.
every weekend in the 7th and 8th grade, you could probably find my group of friends, the pigbutts (that’s a story for another time), huddled together on top of sleeping bags as we ate junk food and shrieked along with “newsies.” we must have watched this film roughly about a bajillion times. we NEVER got tired of this movie. here’s why:
1) it’s a musical
junior high girls LOVE musicals. there’s dancing and singing and true love and fun costumes. which is really the way the world should be.
2) it’s a disney movie
thus, parental approval was never a problem. i mean, you can just FEEL the wholesomeness emanating from the movie poster. right? right? hmm.
3) it’s about newsBOYS.
as in, the entire cast is boys except for ann margaret (who is kinda old and creepy by this point, but she gets to wear cool ruffly dresses, so whatevs) and sarah, the sister of one of the main characters (and i’m ASHAMED to share a name with her, cos she is the worst actress in the history of disney, besides raven simone. although we gleefully heckled her in every scene, so that made it even more fun).
4) it stars christian freaking bale!!!!
look at this hotness!!!!
ok, yes, he’s like fifteen. but still. helloooo future LAURIE! future BATMAN! future awesome prestige magician who BLEW MY MIND! future emaciated factory worker that… actually, yeah, i skipped that movie. i don’t need an anorexic christian bale in my life, thanks.
5) it features the most badass newsie of all time, spot conlon!!!!
and he is HOTT!
wow, ok, so… he’s like, ten. yikes. i didn’t realize he was so young. cos i… wow. i’m a total perv.
moving on!
so the show!
the show was AWESOME! first of all, it was COMPLETELY SOLD OUT, meaning i was TOTALLY RIGHT about all of the secret newsies fans out there. THANK YOU.
second, talena and i were joined by amber, who also turns out to be a raving, maniacal fan. i *knew* we were friends for a reason!
third, a girl emailed henri and told him she’d be bringing her boyfriend, who was an EXTRA in the movie!! HE WAS IN NEWSIES!!! so, before they arrived, henri told the audience that we’d play a trick on him (eric, the extra). during the heel-clicking contest (a given, obvs), eric’s gf would convince him to go up and compete. but, when it came time for the audience to clap for their favorite, NO ONE would clap for him.
and it worked out perfectly! when henri asked for the audience’s opinion of eric, you could hear a PIN (or maybe a pap?!!) drop. eric looked horrified, until henri and owen (the other host) broke the news that his gf had set him up. yay! newsies got punk’d!
finally, the show began, and i can’t tell you how amazing it was to see it on the screen. it was like, MAGIC! it was like, a serious film!
ha ha ok no. no way. this movie is totally, totally bad.
BUT I LOVE IT ANYWAY!
we all sang our hearts out and waved our paps (that’s pronounced PAPE, like a newspaper, for you non-fans) and even tried to imitate christian bale’s infamous “santa fe” dance (which is impossible to do without looking like you’re the worst junior high dancer and you’re going for the risky “sprinkler” and “shopping cart” combo). during the first strike (an extremely violent scene), people started TEARING UP THEIR PAPS! paper suddenly flew through the air, and by the end of the show, we had trashed the place!
who knew newsies fans could be so destructive? well, i guess that just goes to show that when you get all of those fans in one room, they will SEIZE THE DAY and THE WORLD WILL KNOW.
heh. just a little newsies humor for you guys… i’m sure you enjoyed that. yeah.
anyway, it was a wonderful, nostalgic night. every once in a while, i’d look over at talena sitting next to me, and i could swear we were just sharing a sleeping bag and giggling the night away. who wants to play truth or dare?!
[LINKS]
this music video was made with dice. i don’t know how, or why, but it’s super super neat.
it’s hard to describe this video, other than it’s my new favorite favorite thing and involves a guy with tape on his nose pretending to be a teenage girl. just watch it. please. cos i’ll be quoting it from now on, and i don’t want you to feel left out.
“it’s a GLOBE!”
see that? you felt left out, didn’t you? now go watch it!
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