Poshdeluxe

eric bachmann’s voice always empathizes with me.

so, i’m feeling a bit dizzy about my life, and not in the “yay! i’m a little girl spinning around!” sort of way. rather, i feel like i just got hit by a car. ok, maybe not a car. maybe like a golf cart?

see, xangaland, i’ve been trying to find a new job (as i have briefly mentioned before). without going into the sort of details that could get me fired, my current job is no longer satisfactory. in fact, there’s not even a scantron bubble that encapsulates the type of “unsatisfactory” it is. so, in the past few months i’ve applied for four jobs, three that i really wanted and one that at least seemed like an improvement.

yesterday i found out that i didn’t get the last job i’d really really really been hoping for. like, i wanted it more than cupcakes and sweet potato fries.

my v. sweet dad told me last night that “this is one of life’s disappointments,” and he’s right. or, as jessica beck told me, “shit happens.” sometimes things suck and they just do.

but, my loved ones have also reminded me that things will get better. i will look back on this moment and think, “wow, little did i know that [insert some amazing life change] was right around the corner!”

and i believe that. i really do. i’m not super depressed. in fact, the craptasticness of this job situation reminds me that my life is chock-full of awesome blessings. here’s a list of *a few* of the reasons why i adore my pants (in no particular order):

1) the go fug yrself girls covering ny fashion week for ny magazine (for reals!)
2) my bangs!
3) amazing wonderful friends that allow me to bitch and vent and are still nice to me afterwards
4) the new season of veronica mars starts soon!
5) fried cheese sticks at the alamo on a weekly basis

so, yeah, i’m doing fine. but i’ve GOT to do something about this job thing.

here’s the question (ok, questionS)– do i keep looking at UT? do i start looking elsewhere and forget about higher ed for a while? is this a chance to change my professional path entirely? should i? or do i stay in this job for while longer, just show up and get by, and use the time to focus even more on my non-work life– like starting up a new, improved blog, or helping henri make a zine?

since there is no conclusion, yet, i will simply end with a quote from the best movie of all time:

“I just want to send this cosmic question out into the void. So good night, dear void.”