Archive for June, 2006

RADIO FREE PANTS

Published by
Sarah
June 30, 2006 in culturelux and music. 0 Comments

an example of the marvy music you can hear on culturelux


so hey guess what?

i’m back on the radio!

and the station is easy to remember: 91.7 (the same numbers as ye olde ktru!). and just like my first shift back in 1998, it’s total graveyard action… sunday morning, 3-5 AM. that’s saturday night for your cray party people (v. foreign to me, obvs).

BUT but but but

this saturday night/sunday morning i’ll be there at 1 AM, so you might actually be awake! especially if you live in europe, cos then it’ll be like 8 AM. that’s totally do-able.

even though the radio waves stop at the austin city limits (har har), internet technology WILL FIND YOU right here.

and i take requests! you can call 495.kvrx OR if you wanna be hi-tech click here (but only when i’m at the station, otherwise yr request will go to a random dj and i can’t tell you what might happen after that).

if you aren’t quite sure about my musical taste, you can see old playlists here (just click on sundays and select my time slot).

i’m calling my show culturelux in order to ressurect an artistic collective that (i believe) still has much life left to live.

i promise i’m better than christian slater.

the boat party

Published by
Sarah
June 27, 2006 in extravaganza. 1 Comment

it was a wonderful night (in white).

so, it all started with this r. kelly video (i know, a lot of stories begin this way).

in the video for “step in the name of love,” r. throws a posh boat party with everyone in white. now, i’m sure ALL of you know every single word to “remix to ignition” but you might not be so familiar with the more classy tune of “step.” here’s a screen shot from the video to give you an idea:

like i said, classy. especially that chick’s dress.

anyway, henri and i saw this video a billion times during the “r. kelly sing-along” and thought, “whoah. why have we never done this before?!!!” i mean, i think it’s a natural reaction when you see a yacht full of beautiful people in a music video. plus, henri wants to start a new movement called “dance parties everywhere,” in which we have dance parties… everywhere. obvs.

so we decided to rent a boat on lake travis and invite loads of people who were willing to wear all white and get ridiculous.

turns out there’s a lot of people like that out there:

my parents were right– austin is full of cray crays.

speaking of, meet yr host and hostess:

YAY!! we’re going to PROM!!!!! SENIORS RULE!!!

and that’s right, we match… YES on purpose.

and actually everyone matched. in both clothing and attitude:

even though matt’s suit was kinda more beige than white, we let him on the boat cos he looked so suave. plus he had a huge bottle of whiskey (as pictured). and major props to carter for his members only jacket. that is a sweet piece of clothing.

lots of the ladies in the r. kelly video wore bootie shorts. but michael was the only one that did it at our party:

that is, until whitney started walking around in her bathing suit bottoms.

ANYWAY

given that many r&b stars adore sports, fritz and christian went for the more athletic look:

now i call that DEAD SEXY.

the posh pants award goes to jeff and sunni, for looking classy and sassy (and yes, that is a woman’s blouse that jeff is wearing. it had rhinestone buttons– major points!!!):

david, our jolly and ruddy-faced captain, switched his salmon-colored (”not pink!”) shirt for a white chef’s top so he, too, could step in the name of love:

(he said that a hula girl was supposed to pop out of the pineapple but it never happened)

speaking of love, there was a whole lot of it on the boat:

as it got darker, things got sillier:

after a while, i stopped noticing that everyone was in white. it became normal, like the lack of brown people on the west side of I-35. but then a boat would pass and everyone would stare at us. i can see why:

we probably looked like some hipster polyphonic spree video.

i don’t know what to say about this picture. but i’m sure you have some ideas:

it didn’t take long for a dance party to begin…

kc is my dancing queen. seriously, that girl knows how to shake her groove thang.

and you gotta watch out for meredith, cos she will TAKE. YOU. DOWN:

at parties, i like kissing people on the cheek, just to show my adoration. i think i kissed jessica about 20 times:


[photo courtesy of the lovely miss beck]

when meredith and henri get together, sternums get broken (i’m not kidding):

so, i can’t tell if r. kelly would think our party was off the chain or if we were off our rockers:

(double whoah)

and actually, do i really care about the opinion of a man who writes r&b operas about midgets and rubbers?

still, i think this might have been the best, most dazzlingly white party lake travis has ever seen. and henri and i managed to achieve our dream. i mean, look!!!:

i mean, except for the whole caucasian part.

and now you know why so many people on myspace are suddenly wearing white in their profile pics. and for even more, v. white photos, go here.

any suggestions for the next party?

family ties (not just an 80’s sitcom)

Published by
Sarah
June 23, 2006 in family. 0 Comments

it feels good to come home (except in texas, not alabama).

last weekend, i drove with my parents to bandera, in the texas hill country, to attend the nelson family reunion. it happens in the summer of every even year, and i’ve been going since i was a wee little pants. my grandmother, helen, was born into the nelson family with six brothers and sisters, and these siblings went on to produce 13 children, who we call “the cousins.” even though the family has spread across the country, and the connections are no longer as easy as saying “my aunt” or “my cousin,” we still come together to remember, to share, to know each other.

as an only child (and only grandchild), i’ve always been incredibly thankful for my extended family. i see pieces of myself in the eyes, the laughter, the movement of my relatives, and they remind me that i’ve been a person before this year, before this crisis, before this moment. they were there when i fell in the lake while fishing with my dad; they remember when my horse took me on an unexpectedly wild ride; they can still sing along to the songs on the old ranch jukebox just as well as i can.

they’ve seen me grow into myself. and i’ve seen our family extend and shift and wither and blossom, over and over again.

nowadays, the term heritage usually means traditions or culture, special meals and languages. but there’s something subtle beyond all of that, something as basic and mystifying as our own shared blood.

if i had the time and you had the interest, i’d tell you the story of each of the thirteen cousins, all of them unique. but if you knew them, you’d see their resemblances much more clearly than in this photograph.

one of my favorite parts of the reunion is welcoming the new little buds on the family tree. this is madeline, my “cousin” melissa’s first child:

madeline likes playing in hay and eating pink frosted shredded wheat.

i also adore the chance to reconnect with “my generation” of the family. my cousin rachel and i are only a year apart, and there are lots of photographs of us together as babies.

the family still can’t believe we’re this old. i can’t either.

over time, the texas hill country has sort of grown into a member of the family. i’ve always loved exploring bandera, ingram and the other surroundings towns. apparently, bandera is the cowboy capital of the world.

my favorite thing about the ranch is that it seems to slow everything down… my thoughts, my breathing, my heart– everything relaxes around a campfire or on a shady porch. you can look up at the stars or out across the horizon or into the eyes of someone who is a part of you.

my favorite restaurant in bandera is the fool moon cafe. unfortunately, they recently stopped serving espresso (i nearly died).

it used to say “cafe & coffee.” i love how the “&” sign remains, as if anticipating something.

the people that work at the ranch are fascinating and yet most of them are just regular local people. however, my favorite is definitely *not* local– a british cowboy named dennis.

dennis made a horse “smile” at my little cousin emma, and she started crying.

the reunion makes me do lots of touristy “texas” things that i, as a totally cheesy pants, love doing. for example, square dancing.

i mean, when was the last time you squared danced?!!! elementary school? let me tell you, promenading and doe-c-doing (i have absolutely no idea how to spell square dancing terms) are WAY more fun than they were in 3rd grade gym. maybe cos now i don’t mind holding the hand of the opposite sex.

another ranch tradition involves the trick roper, kenneth. kenneth’s been coming out to show us “fancing roping” since i was about 12 or 13. in fact, he’s helped to create a family tradition: every time a new significant other (husband, girlfriend, etc.) comes to the reunion, they get roped by kenneth. and then he freaks them out by pretending to whip a piece of straw from their mouths while they’re blindfolded (but in reality, his dad, who’s about 90 years old, sneakily takes it out when kenneth cracks the whip).

this year’s inductee, allision (kenneth was pretending that he would perform the trick blindfolded, but then he put it over allison’s eyes instead. i think she was relieved and then suddenly more afraid):

it may sound cliche, but my family are good people. they’re kind and loving and compassionate; they give great hugs at funerals and love on all of the new babies. i’d like to think that their values continue to rub off on me… perhaps that’s the piece of my heritage that i most treasure.

of course, family members influence me in other ways, too. take, for instance, my little cousin, emma:

i saw emma in this outfit and immediately told her that she is my fashion icon. i don’t think she knew what that meant, really, but she was sweetly flattered anyway… especially when she saw my new pink boots:

i love you, family. thanks for my values, my self and my pink cowboy boots.

my life-changing romance with boy bands

Published by
Sarah
June 14, 2006 in growing up and music. 0 Comments

oh come on. you know you’re dying to hear this song again.


last night i caught a great show at stubb’s: tapes n tapes, the cold
war kids, and the figurines. all of those guys know how to rock…

but can they dance too? and wear coordinated outfits that still accentuate their v. unique personalities?

yeah, i didn’t think so.

and that’s why i can never, ever, EVER surpass my first concert experience: the new kids ON THE FREAKIN’ BLOCK!!!!

opening act?

that’s right. it was TIFFANY.

no i’m serious. and it was not at a mall. it was at the cajundome in lafayette, louisiana. yeah, THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT!

memories of this glorious night came flooding back to me last thursday, when i attended henri’s boy band sing-along at the alamo. before
the lights went down, i had NO IDEA that i would be reduced to my
former 11 year-old giddy pants self. but as soon as i caught sight of
jordan, joey, danny, donnie and john… I TOTALLY FREAKED OUT.�
keep in mind i was still overcoming the Strep, so i wasn’t at my
groupie peak, but i could NOT STOP SHRIEKING. or yelling,
“JORDAAAAAAN!” i almost yelled “JOEY!” (he was my favorite til his
voice changed) but then realized how pervy it would be (hello, he’s
like 12 in these videos).

you guys, it was amazing. not only did i get to relive my favorite
NKOTB moments, but i also sang and danced along like a cracked out
teenager to *nsync and the backstreet boys too. because THEY ARE SO
AWESOME.

can you FEEL the star power?!!!

i mean, whoah. i think i just got blasted by THE HEAT!

and i’m not just a fairweather, “i like them cos it’s ironic” sort of
fan. oh NO. i’ve seen both of those bands in concert, too. i caught
*nsync not once, but TWICE.

yes, i realize that i’m incredibly lucky. believe me, i know.

and also incredibly dorky. it’s nice to know that, even though i’m
a v. mature, professional woman in her mid-late twenties, there’s still
an 11 year-old girl inside. and she
looks like this:

i know.

i believe this picture may actually have been taken right before the
NKOTB concert, as evidenced by the BRILLIANT outfit i put together for
the Greatest Night of My Life (sorry, prom). note the *multiple* new kids
posters on my wall, including the hand-drawn red sign that i wore
taped to my shirt when i was jordan knight for halloween (i even put up
all of my hair under a hat– that hat, actually– with a tiny rat-tail
braid coming down).

also note the acid-washed jean skirt. helloooo, fashion icon pants! sweet cracker sandwich.

so, as you can see, i’ve been a boy band fan all of my life. i know
it’s not cool, but i don’t care. their songs still make me happy, while
acid washed denim and pink suspenders have long since faded in their
hipness…

then again, my outfit WAS pretty awesome. hmm.

p.s. henri is now in a new boy band called “cedar fever,” and they
PERFORMED on stage at the sing-along!!! and i saw the world premiere of
their hot new music video!!!!! so basically, my dream has come true:
i’m dating a member of a boy band! HOLY CRAP!!!!!

a pigbutt wedding, my first minister pantsing, and love conquers all, including strep throat

Published by
Sarah
June 9, 2006 in pantship. 0 Comments

in junior high, we memorized the dance to this song and performed it endlessly at slumber parties. because we ruled.

guys, i almost died, but i think i’m ok now.

STREP THROAT CAN SUCK IT. GAH.

so, not only did i perform my FIRST OFFICIAL DUTY as a member of the clergy last weekend, but i did so while VIOLENTLY ILL.

i think it was like, a test of faith or something.

here’s what happened:

friday, my throat started hurting. which made me nervous, since i had
to officiate becky’s wedding on saturday. and that means talking loudly
to a big crowd of people while looking v. calm and serene. full of
inner peace, etc.

i went to the doctor and he looked at my throat for, like, one second.

“yeah… you’ve got strep,” he said. i was like, “wha?! don’t you need to do test or something?”

“nope,” he replied. “it’s pretty clear.”

and yeah, it became v. v. clear. dreadfully crystal.

after i picked up my precious meds, i drove to dripping springs for the
rehearsal. i made everyone stay far, far away cos hello, what if i gave
the entire wedding party strep? it would be like a scene from an 80’s
comedy feature ally sheedy.

following the rehearsal (i managed to stand during the whole thing,
which was impressive. to me, at least), we fought cray cray traffic
downtown due to the hugeass motorcyle rally going on. you guys, i have
NEVER seen SO MANY MOTORCYLES. or people in biker gear.

i mean, you could practically SWIM in the motorcycles.

actually, i kinda think they’re pretty, all shiny and metallic pants!

the biker people are not so pretty. we saw one guy with a t-shirt that said, “my other ride has tits.”

i think that sums up the crowd pretty well, so i’ll go no further down that road.

the dinner was at the iron cactus, and i was SO MAD cos i couldn’t take
advantage of all of the margarita action. seriously, this was a
TRAVESTY. i almost cried. but that could have been the fever.

here’s raymond, le groom, wearing a shirt becky gave him:

heh.

becky is a super crafty, v. together bride, and she gave all of the
wedding party gals lots of presents!!! yes!!!! the clergy enjoy gifts,
let me tell you. talena and i received lots of pig-themed things, cos
back in ye olde junior high days, we were all in a group called the
pigbutts. and we actually chose that name. no, we did.

i can’t believe i’ve never talked about the pigbutts on xanga before. whoah.

anyway, back at bleyl junior high, we had a pigbutt notebook we passed
around (but not like in “mean girls,” more like in the babysitter’s
club or something) and tons of sleepovers and nicknames and a pledge
and we were SO dorky that we even had a faculty sponsor. oh yesssss we
did.

my old yearbooks are FULL of drawings of pigbutts and assorted phrases
like, “hail pigbutts!” the boys we didn’t like (but secrely liked) all
drew pigbutts with a big circle and slash through them. so awesome.

ANYWAY i say all of that to explain why i’m kissing this little piggie’s bum:

and also as an attempt to explain why becky’s wedding was a big deal. it’s the third pigbutt wedding. that’s huge.

so let’s move on to the wedding.

i want to start with the important stuff first. and by that i mean the
CAKES. holy crap the CAKES! see, becky’s always been super artsy (she’s
now an art teacher), and she decorated her wedding cake with pretty
jewels… AND made the paper mache top of the groom’s cake, which was
the UT TOWER!!!!!! check this OUT:

I KNOW, RIGHT?!!!!!!

thank goodness the ceremony was BEFORE the cakes, so i could focus my
full attention on being an awesome clergy pants. and, inspite of my
diseased self, i think it went pretty well! becky *almost* cried, so
then i *almost* cried, but fortunately the years of training and
preparation for my ordination kicked into gear and i maintained my
professional demeanor. i even got to mention “newsies” and “the mickey
mouse club” in my message!!!! like i said, v. professional.

becky was gorgy gorgeous. look!

actually, everyone looked totally marvy. here’s the bridal party, sitting on a big rock:

that little guy in the middle is mason, becky’s nephew AND the ringbearer. a responsibility he took v. seriously. obvs.

he is like, so GQ. with cheese.

my rents were there, of course (like i said, it was a pigbutt wedding). this photo has some definite christmas card potential:

i even got to dance with my dad!!!! that is my favorite!!!!

you can tell my dad is awesome just from that facial expression. and
also cos he asked randy’s fiance jennifer if she’s into cycling.

here’s randy and jennifer:

they have not yet asked me to officiate their wedding. but i’m sure the request is coming…

once, while riding in maurice, my high school car (navy blue volvo),
randy got week-old RANK starbucks frappicino all over his pants after
talena left her cup in my “trash stash” bag. that was pretty great.
especially when randy immediately called talena and began the
conversation with, “LISTEN, SISTER!”

i also got to see jennifer taylor, who lives in waco for some unknown
reason. i have pictures of jennifer making this exact same face back in
8th grade… and 10th grade… and 12th grade.

it’s good to know that as life goes on, some things never change.

and then, sometimes, they do. in really beautiful ways.

even after all of this time, pigbutts still totally rule.

of course, i forgot to sign the marriage certificate. i blame the
strep. but other than that, i think my first pastoral (and i don’t mean
country

happy marriage, becky and raymond. thanks for letting me be a part of it– past, present and future.

 

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