alamoing

nacholicious pants

we didn’t start the fire… but we may have started a new all-american sport.

the alamo preshows just keep getting nastier and crayer by the week.

quick recap:

first, i poured diet coke all over myself on a trampoline for MI3.

then, three of us each attempted to eat 300 communion wafers and 30
little cups of wine for “the da vinci code” (as josh pointed out, it
was like stuffing yr face with packing peanuts). after about 20 wafers
i just stuck with the wine. cos i am a smarty pants.

last week, i got pelted with eggs from a parking garage for “x-men 3.”

but on memorial day… THINGS GOT INTENSE.

and the worst part is that it was kinda my idea, so i really can’t
complain. i will say, however, that I’M AN IDIOT… and perhaps a
genius. after reading this blog entry, i think you’ll be able to make
up yr own mind (much like watching “trapped in the closet” and
determining r. kelly’s IQ).

for the “nacho libre” pre-show, we decided to do the GROSSEST most NASTIEST thing in the HISTORY of the UNIVERSE:

wrestle in nacho cheese.

soon, lots and lots of alamo audiences will have the opportunity to be
completely freaked out and swear off queso for the rest of their lives
(or at least a few days, cos hey, it’s texas).

so, first, henri got a baby pool:

thank you, mandy, for serving as le pool model. next time you’ll get a palm tree, i promise.

next, we bought several cans of “nacho cheese” from fiesta, and henri
even threw in some velveeta (which actually burned the bottom of the
pool and made it smell like somebody threw a sam’s pack of those
handisnack cheese thingies in the oven. oh gah).

at first, the pool looked kind of neat, like a piece of wannabe pollack art:

soon, it would not look so great.

first round: kc vs. josh

and yesh, that red stuff is salsa. G to the ROSS.

kc and josh held nothing back as they took each other down into the cheddar zone.

at first, kc seemed like a lost cause, but by using my nifty “sports action” camera feature, i captured her incredible comeback:

kc = WINNER! ding ding ding!!!!!

of course, it might depend on how you define “winner”:

i was relieved to see that the match had not dampened the love between
these two beautiful people. in fact, i think the wrestling may have
even produced some major sparkage…

or not.

josh seems to be showing a lot of team wiess spirit right here:

is he ready for beer bike or what?

round 2: scott vs. anthony

these guys got down and dirty immediately, but the crowning moment occurred when patrick jumped into the ring with a chair.

i lurve how this is basically just a cheesy mess of arms and legs, i.e. deluxe nachos.

round 3: sarah vs. michael

michael saved me from a brush with cheese whiz death by suggesting we
thumb wrestle. of course, there’s plenty of dirty fighting in thumb
wrestling, too.

michael has a moment of regret:

i have many, many moments of regret:

hellooooo, squishy pants!

the only problem with cold, slimey cheese (wait, strike that– one of
the MANY problems) is that you can’t get any traction on yr opponent’s
hand. every time i pinned michael down, the cheese served as a
lubricant and allowed him to free his thumb.

i had to pull out my special weapon to get the job down: MY PINKY!

thank the sweet heavens that i won, cos the loser had to take off
his/her shirt (in an ode to “girls gone wild,” and hello i can’t
believe they’ve never thought of doing this). michael pulled off his
shirt to reveal, “SPRING BREAK ‘98″ on his chest.

then henri poured champers all over us!

there i am, bemoaning the waste of good (ok, cheap) champagne. le sigh.

henri then jumped into the pool so that he, too, could smell like a concession stand.

i think my face says it all in this picture:

(and you can see a bit of the writing on michael’s chest)

patrick was nice and hosed me off. check out my cheesy bum!

here is the result of our incessant violence and cheese obsession:

you may have seen this picture on craig’s list, cos henri posted it as “a free kiddie pool… with slight cheese damage.”

and he got two responses!

now THOSE people are cray.

p.s. if you want to see even MORE pictures, go to my flickr. but if you’re lactose intolerant, that might not be such a good idea.

© 2006 Poshdeluxe.