ok, so:
the plethora of televisions in front of the elliptical machines allow
me to watch things like CNN and local news while i’m working out. so i
can be all upons current events.
but what do i choose to get addicted to?
thanks to TNfuckingT, i’m hooked on “judging amy.”
i swear to god, i hate this show.
but i CAN’T HELP MYSELF. it’s on, RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME, every freaking
day. with closed captioning, so i can read all of the
heartwrenching/warming dialogue.
so what’s even worse than being addicted to this show?
the fact that TNT chooses to show the episodes COMPLETELY OUT OF ORDER.
so yesterday, i was all swept up in gillian’s crisis over whether or
not to take ned (the adopted baby) back, and i couldn’t WAIT to get to
the gym today to find out if she made the right choice (and i had no
idea what that was, cos it was so gutwrenching).
so i’m on the machine, the show comes on… and it’s lou diamond
philips (actually, it wasn’t. i thought it was for a minute, but then
realized it was another native american guy, and then i felt extremely
racist and increased my rate of speed to sweat the guilt out) playing a
lawyer defending some kid who apparently stole a gun, scaled the wall
of a local zoo, and shot an 18 year-old yak fondly named “zak” by the
zoo staff.
no, i’m not making that up. i read it with my own eyes (although i
admit i was momentarily distracted by a red lobster ad on one of the
other screens).
WAIT!!! WHAT HAPPENED TO NED? what if he’s crying his little baby eyes
out in foster care? or what if he’s back with his deadbeat mom? what if
he’s been adopted by brad pitt and angelina jolie?!!
GAH. i couldn’t take the suspense. so i waited to hopefully catch a glimpse of ned in one of the scenes… to no avail.
then i realized that i was lengthening my workout just to see more of the show.
and that made me feel v. v. sad.
until i saw this picture on the internet.
YAAAAAAY!!!! ned! family! love! smiling! and a teddy bear!!!!
i feel so much better.
completely ashamed of myself, but better.
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