Archive for April, 2005

just like the white winged dove (just like it)

Published by
Sarah
April 28, 2005 in cray. 4 Comments

so, i’ve got a lot of friends with birthdays in may. i always get a
little anxious, cos i want to get them ALL something special and
meaningful and all that crap.

well THIS year, i’m SET, thanks to the help of my fabulous friend meredith (miss fangoria pants).

all you May birthday people, IT’S YR LUCKY DAY! now, try not to get too excited BUT look what you’re getting from posh pants:

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oh no. this is not a mere painting. it is a portrait of STEVIE NICKS.

wha… you don’t like that one? well what about one of these beauties:

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oh, you say you want to one that boldly celebrates both stevie nicks
AND the good ole U.S. of A.?! well here ya go, you little patriot you:

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that’s right, folks. you can find the stevie nicks painting of yr DREAMS thanks to an extremely obsessed artist named johanna. you can even HAVE YOURSELF PAINTED IN WITH STEVIE. I AM NOT KIDDING.

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or for those of you who lurve yr cats, i can request that she bestow the honor on yr favorite ball of fur:

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look at that cat. i mean, his dream has finally come true. staring at the moon with stevie. sigh. meow.

now, this might be expensive… but what the hell, you’re worth it. so go on and get that stevie tattoo!!!

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you may want to check out the site yrself just to read the FANTASTIC
and ILLUMINATING descriptions. here’s my personal favorite (hint hint!
xmas is only 8 months away!):

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“BUCKINGHAM
NICKS: This is something I have long wanted
to do, portray Stevie and Lindsey together… Don’t we all love
the chemistry between them?”

oh, johanna, you know i do!!!! sing it with me:

just like the white winged dove… sings a song, sounds like she’s singing…
ooo baby… ooo… said ooo…

wispy aftermath of a dream

Published by
Sarah
April 26, 2005 in growing up. 0 Comments

i stayed home this morning. i’ve been avoiding my journal like the
plague, and i just needed to get everything out before insanity set in
(or i started vomiting).

it was hard… but i’m glad i did it. deep breath. ok.

i started listing thoughts as they came, as they’ve been coming, flying
through my head, banging and screaming and scratching like rabid bats
trapped in a dirty glass cage. now it’s on paper, and my journal can
deal with wild creatures. i mean, this list is a wily one, completely
schitzophrenic and unwieldy; but that’s the purpose of my journal,
really. it corrals. it handles. it occasionally needs to use a stun
gun.

i re-read cards and emails i’ve received from friends in the past few
months, and wrote down passages that i wanted to remember, to think
about, to believe. i feel like i say this too much– i don’t want it to
lose meaning through repetition– but thank you, dear friends. i want
to transform the word “thank you” into something beautiful, so you know
just how much i mean it– into tiny periwinkle flowers and butterflies
on the subway and warm brownies and laughter that makes you cry and
funny college photographs and inside jokes that never die and the sweet
tiny hands of babies. so know that’s what i mean, when i say: thank you.

one of the passages i copied down is from a march entry that i had printed and saved from jessica beck’s journal. jessica, i hope you don’t mind that i’m sharing a bit of yr beautiful soul here:
***
i feel like the wispy aftermath of a dream. i would like to feel alive
and wholly present. but maybe we’re all looking for the same thing–
who we are, the something that makes us real.

and even when we’re certain, we aren’t.
****

last night i bought a new pot of moisturizer, and as i put it on my
face, i slowed. i relaxed. i breathed in the soft, flowery smell. and
then i realized that the scent reminds me of the rose lotion my
grandmother (helen) used to keep by her bedside. when i was little, i’d
sleep in the other bed, and i always put lotion on my hands before
turning out the lamp. i felt so safe, knowing she was just one bed
over, and i would fall asleep to the rhythm of her breathing. last
night i laid down and wished my heart would beat to the rhythm of her
soul.

***
in my journal i also included this great quote from a recent email sent to me by the fabulous and much beloved katrina july:

“dammit you are a pain in my ass!”

i know. and you love me anyway. t.h.a.n.k.y.o.u.

b&b birthday

Published by
Sarah
April 21, 2005 in family. 3 Comments

hey guys, thanks for massaging my xanga ego with all those lurvely
comments (and even though some of you commented more than once, it
still counts. obviously). i think writing about buffy was key, since it
seemed to spark a bit of controversy and discussion. i mean, i’m sure
if i just let that post sit there, i could hit 30 comments again.

but i won’t, cos i’m ridiculously addicted to writing on this damn
thing. and honestly it’s not about the comments. it’s… i dunno. i do
this because i enjoy communicating; i like the *exchange*; i care about
the details of my friends’ lives… even the ordinary things. also i
like abusing semicolons.

so anyway

the other key to generating lots of comments is PHOTOS (i’ve learned
this from ben’s and jeff’s site as well). and speaking of jeff, no, i’m
not that tall in real life (i’m standing on the curb in the second
picture). i mean, my mom’s short but not THAT short. although she is
pretty small. wait until you see this picture of her i’m going to post
in a minute.

so you may recall (or maybe not) that, for my birthday weekend, the
rents and i stayed at this SUPER CHARMING bed & breakfast in the
hill country near new braunfels. it’s called aunt nora’s B&B.
and i adore it. my mom and dad had recently purchased a digital camera
(is it sad that my parents are ahead of me technologically?), and so we
took lots of fun pictures. but then i had to wait WEEKS and WEEKS for
my dad to figure out how to upload them onto the computer and the
internet.

however, he *was* training for the MS150, so i guess i should cut him some slack. eh.

anyway, he sent me the photos yesterday, so i’ve picked my favorite
ones to show you. you can tell that i took these pictures, cos several
of them feature food. and only food. no people. just the pure beauty of
tasty morsels that were fed to us in the morning by the b&b owners.
oh sweet ecstacy.

ok so here’s the main house:

we stayed on the second floor of the house next door. check out the view when walking down the steps:

and here’s the sweet little gazebo (required for all B&Bs)– i heart the cactus!!

i may have mentioned the cute little hobbit room i got to sleep in. it
was perfect perfect perfect for me. i felt like a character in a
children’s book… you know, when the illustrated house in the book is
one room with just a bed and a lamp and a window. see what i mean:

check out the decor in my parents’ room. this pretty much sums up the feel of the place:

here’s the view from my hobbit room (i don’t know why but i really like this photo):

don’t you want to stay here?! no? well, mr. doubting pants, check out some of the stuff we had for breakfast!!!

fruit tarts…

[and these are pictures of REAL food, not like in magazines when they
use glue for milk and shit like that. so that is real cream. not glue.
just so you know]

and cobbler. yes, cobbler with ice cream. the nice lady that ran the
B&B believed in serving dessert at the end of breakfast. no really,
she did. and that’s why this place was SO AWESOME. i’m going to do that
too, when i have a family. until we all get really fat and succumb to
diabetes.

wow, this post already features TWO pictures of WONDEROUS food. i figure i can make 50 comments, easy.

hmm. well maybe everyone isn’t as food-excitable as me.

anyway here’s a pretty picture of the lake nearby:

mainly i posted that picture to introduce this next one. notice how
windy it is in the photo above…. several times i thought it would
knock me over. so i made my mom pretend like she was holding onto a
tree for dear life. i don’t know why she agreed. but she did. how my
parents put up with my weirdness, i don’t know. but they do. which
explains why i’m still weird. so anywhere here is my cute little mom
(her name is sue by the way. perfect!):

sue, hold on! don’t let go!

oh man. i love my mom. and my dad too (see previous post). they are
superstars. and they let me take pictures of food with their digital
camera. so i can post them here and make myself hungry and bore you
guys to death.

buffy and the MS 150

Published by
Sarah
April 19, 2005 in family. 1 Comment

damn, yo. 29 comments?! i think i’ve reached my xanga peak. i mean, how
can i possibly expect to top that number, ever? i guess i better go on
more dating shows or something…

it reminds me of that dan bern song, “tiger woods” (thanks seth):

i got a friend whose goal in life
was to one day go down on madonna.
that’s all he wanted, that was all,
to one day go down on madonna.
well when my friend was 34,
he got his wish in rome one night.
he got to go down on madonna,
in rome one night in some hotel.
and ever since he’s been depressed,
cos life is shit from here on in.
and all our friends just shake their heads,
and say, “too soon, too soon, too soon.
he went down on madonna too soon.
too young, too young, too soon, too soon.”

too soon, too soon. 29 comments too soon.

life is shit from here on out.

ok, well, not really.

cos my dad finished the MS150 on sunday!!! he is awesome!!! he is a
rock star!!! my mom and i and my good friend talena (who was recently
diagnosed with MS) and her husband, james, were all there to cheer him
on at the finish line!! we even made nifty posters. see:

here’s the pitre family (awww). future xmas card?!

i am so proud of my dad. i can’t even tell you. he’s 60 years old and he
rode 158 miles in two days (and he had to start at like 6:30 AM each
day which, to me, seems like the biggest challenge). and my heart just
LEAPT when i saw him riding down the street. he spotted us against the
rail, and this huge smile spread across his face. he gave us a thumbs
up then blew me a kiss (again, not only sweet but impressive; if i had
biked that much, i doubt i’d have the energy for extra movements and,
if i did, i’d probably fall off my bike and cause a huge accident).

yay dad!!! you are my hero!! (i wasn’t foolin’ on that posterboard).

on a less meaningful note, i was back at the alamo drafthouse downtown
on saturday night. no, no, not for another dating show (i’m not THAT
desperate for comments) but for… THE BUFFY SING-A-LONG!!!

no, i’m not making this up. and yes, i’m talking about buffy the vampire slayer, one of my FAVORITE SHOWS OF ALL TIME.

the sing-a-long consists of two episodes: one that varies (this last
weekend, the theme was buffy & spike, so we watched the one where
willow accidentally casts that spell, and buffy and spike want to get
married… uh… i know, you guys don’t care) and “once more, with
feeling”, the famous (well sort of) musical episode!!!

it’s sort of like rocky horror (but with less leather and freaky
people. no seriously. buffy fans aren’t *that* freaky), where you have
props and you do things at certain times during the show. for example,
there were plastic fangs for the spike song, and lighters to hold up
during “walk through the fire”. every time dawn came on the screen,
people booed and jeered; when she sang, “does anybody care?”, everyone
yelled, “NOOOO!!!”. it was awesome. also, the entire audience got up
and did little crazy dances when anya and xander started dancing in
their duet.

during intermission, henri, the host (you may remember him from his
work on the acclaimed “chemistry 101″), conducted a session of buffyoke
(see, alamo does this thing, videoke, which is like karaoke except with
people acting out film scenes instead of singing) using the scene with
angel and buffy after he loses his soul. it was hilarious, especially
when the guy playing angel just stopped reading the lines and started
making crap up and the girl playing buffy (who was uber serious) got
mad and yelled, “read the lines, asshole!”. ha ha ha. oh and during the
spike solo, henri called up these two guys who were actually DRESSED
LIKE SPIKE (red button down shirts, black pants and bleached hair!!)
and made them sing along on the stage… ok, so maybe SOME buffy fans
are freakish. just a few.

i’m sure most of you started reading that last paragraph and then just
stopped cos you don’t really care. ah well. it’s ok. i’m not expecting
lots of comments again. i’ve peaked. too soon, too soon.

to use a line from the buffy musical, “where do we go… from here?”

we go to lunch. at least, that’s what posh does.

chemistry 101

Published by
Sarah
April 13, 2005 in cray and extravaganza. 6 Comments

so last night, i did something a little out of the ordinary. well, maybe more than “a little”. ahem.

i participated in a little dating show called “chemistry 101″, produced by the alamo drafthouse downtown.

yes. you read that right. i wrote “dating show”. roll yr eyes. gasp with shock. laugh yr arse off. i’m fo real, yo.

and it was just as HILARIOUS and RIDICULOUS as i had hoped.

see, last friday, i was reading the weekly alamo newsletter when i
learned that they were looking for people for the next episode of
“chemistry 101″, which is basically yr typical dating show without as
much of the bullshit and jacuzzi shots. i thought, “well, now, THAT
would make a good story.” little did i know that my fabulous and
devious co-worker, meredith, sent in my info as a possible
contestant!!! yeah, she’s that cool (although i may have had a moment
of doubt when…)

i got an email on monday telling me that i had been selected for the
show and to report to the alamo drafthouse downtown at 4:30 PM on
tuesday (the very next day!!).

needless to say, meredith had a bit of explaining to do… but we both
agreed that it would a SCANDALOUS adventure, a definite must.

still, i wondered, “what the hell am i getting into?”

all day on tuesday, i worried. what if i look like an idiot on camera?
what if my date is super freaky and i can’t think of anything
interesting to say? what if my pores look huge on film?

needless to say, by the time my friend kelly dropped me off in front of
the alamo, i was a bizarre mix of anxiety and “what the hell”. it helps
that kelly brought me a little bottle of jack, just in case i needed a
friend. i definitely took a swig or two before walking into the theatre
(and yes, it helped).

oh and did i mention the “rockin’ ride” that was sitting out front?

it only gets better. check out the inside:

note: the area on the left side of the picture, black astroturf trimmed with faux pink fur, holds a massive ice chest.

ALL THE PARTY PEOPLE SAY, “WHAT WHAT!”

so i walk in and meet kelly, the ultra-hip 30-something event
coordinator, and henri, the mid-20’s (?) indie film buff who is
directing this shindig. they tell me we’re waiting for the camera guys
(kent and jeff, who i called “sassy pants” for most of the night cos,
well, he was sassy).

then i meet george, my “date” for the evening. it was love at first sight!!

HA HA HA. riiiiiight. to be frank, it was like, “uh, eh” at first sight.

now now now, don’t feel sorry for george. trust me. by the end of this
story, you will have rolled yr eyes at him at least a hundred times.

george is 22, brown hair, glasses, basically yr non-descript dude.
let’s put it this way: if he robbed a bank, the police sketch artist
would get nowhere. he would never be found. he just blends in. well,
looks-wise. personality, now, that’s a different story. um yeah.

THEN i meet nicole, the other dater. i had no idea there would be more
than two people, but after the first ten minutes, i was SO THANKFUL for
nicole’s presence. did we bond as kindred spirits? no. nicole is a
blonde, curvy massage therapist from arkansas who loves to party.
nicole is the MOST AWESOME CHOICE for a dating show. this is the girl
that mtv would drool over. she will act like an idiot with NO ALCOHOL
in her body. so you can only imagine what happens when she *does* start
drinking…

so henri tells us that nicole and i will be “competing” to “win
george’s affection”. i had to smother a snicker (and i think nicole
snorted). i could tell henri was trying not to sound sarcastic.

our episode will be paired up with a showing of “the princess bride”,
so henri and kelly patterned the date after bits from the movie. here’s
the plan: take the “rockin’ ride” to mt. bonnell for a little wine
tasting (no iocain powder, thanks) then head over to a gym for some
fencing lessons (gah) THEN enjoy a nice dinner at the castle hill cafe
(guess which part i was most excited about… no, no, the wine’s a
close second, fool).

so, we all pile onto our party bus and… it doesn’t start. the rockin’
ride is not quite so rockin’. or workin’. this was a definite omen for
our date. and it really made me relax, honestly, cos it confirmed how
fun and ridiculous this evening would be. george and nicole and i sat
around and “got to know each other” while someone attempted to jump the
rockin’ ride (imagine the spectacle). i got really hot. so i’m sure on
camera i’ll be all pink and glisten-y. oh well. probably no one will
notice cos

NICOLE AND GEORGE KEPT SAYING THE DUMBEST THINGS.

here’s some sample conversations from our first HALF HOUR together:

****
posh (p): so, george, what kind of movies do you like?

george (g): well, see, i was an RTF guy at UT for a while, so i’m
definitely into fringe film, like “metropolis”. [george looks straight
into camera] this is a note for the alamo folks: show more artsy films
at the north theater, please!” [ed. note: george did this the ENTIRE
night. it was like he thought it was "the george show" and he kept
looking at the camera and saying stuff to "the folks in the audience".
GAAAHH]

nicole (n): OH MY GAWD i LOVE “the notebook”. have you guys ever seen
that? oh my gawd. i totally cried my eyes out at the end. then i bought
it on dvd and cried some more. oh my gawd. it is so good. i wish my
life was like that!!! WOW! sigh.

p: (momentary silence) um, well, have you guys seen “amelie”? that’s one of my favorites.

g: uh no i haven’t caught that one [right, right, mr. RTF pants!!]

p: well, it’s this awesome french� movie and–

n: wait, does it have SUBTITLES? because, um, i don’t DO subtitles. no way.

p: uh… yeah. it does. sorry.

****
p: so, what kind of music are you guys into?

g: well, i like a lot of really “out there” bands. you probably haven’t heard of them.

p: uh, try me.

g: well, i’m a HUGE fan of suzanne vega.

p: … uh, yeah, i’ve heard of her.

[henri and kelly erupt into laughter from the back of the bus]

****
g: so where do you guys like to hang out in austin?

n: i kinda go wherever. i just like going out. i love sixth street!

p: really?

n: yeah but i’m taking it easy lately. a few months ago, i got alcohol poisoning TWICE in one month!! can you believe it?!

p: uh no.

n: yeah, it was pretty bad. i was like throwing up for four days straight both times.

g: wow. that’s bad.

n: yeah. i was at buffalo billiards with some girlfriends and i just
kept tossing them back. i was doing fine until i went to the bathroom
and I COULDN’T GET OFF THE TOILET. i swear i was hugging that toilet
for at least 3 hours before the bouncer carried me out of the club. my
pants were still down around my ankles. isn’t that hilarious?

p: uh, you know they’re filming this, right?

n: oh whatever, i don’t care who knows! i’m so over it!

[kelly and henri again erupt into badly smothered laughter]

****
so yeah, our ride over to mt. bonnell was, well, a special bonding time.

we climb up the stairs (nicole has a little trouble in her heels) and
sit down at the stone table with dana, a rep from ambiente wine
distributors. dana will definitely be the coolest person on our
episode. she was totally awesome. she’s pretty and cool and she knows a
TON about wine. we got to taste a lot of really nifty wine (i’m going
to be searching for a few of these bottles at central market– dana
said most of them are under $15. see why i love this woman?). george
did this whole “i know everything about wine” act, in which he felt the
need to ask dana questions about the types of grapes and regions of
italy and ice wines of germany and all kinds of shit. this from the guy
who on the bus told me that he likes wine IN A BOX.

riiight. jeff the camera guy (sassy pants) did actually ask dana what
she thought about franzia. that was pretty funny. also note that the
entire crew was drinking wine as they were taping us. talk about
professional!! ah i lurve the alamo.

[amber i did in fact mention you in this segment, just as you requested]

afterwards we carried all the open bottles of wine down the steps, and
some random tourist guy took my picture (i was two fisting it with
bottles).

we get back on the rockin’ ride (amazingly it started) and put the wine
in the handy ice box. henri starts pouring wine for all of us (extra
for nicole– good directing strategy) but i didn’t drink any cos it
kept spilling all over the place (damn bus). which is fine, cos i was
DETERMINED not to get drunk and act like an ass on camera. i just held
my cup over the aisle, but nicole did attempt to drink hers with
varying results (thank goodness it was white wine).

on the way to the fencing place, george proceeds to tell us everything
we didn’t want to know about fencing cos, of course, he used to fence
too. gahhhh. nicole just kept trying to drink from her cup.

we reach our destination and meet eric, our french fencing instructor.
i feel bad for this guy, cos he is totally legit and we are just a
bunch of idiots. nicole and i run off to the restroom, where she
proceeds to poke her head over the stall (!!!) to tell me that she is
totally crushing on henri. ah, the twists and turns of reality tv!!

we have to put on these plastic breastplates, and i feel like madonna.
kent keeps zooming in on nicole’s breastplate. then we put on these
vest/shirt things and nicole accidentally knocks over all of this
equipment while trying to get her leg through the strap. yeah. it was
awesome.

we learn how to advance and parry and attack or whatever. it’s kinda
fun but the helmet/mask thing makes me feel like a beekeeper. plus we
have to wear this glove on our sword hand and this glove IS THE MOST
DISGUSTING THING I HAVE EVER TOUCHED. it has been worn by thousands of
other sweaty germy people. it smells worse than a junior high locker
room. it makes my hand SMELL LIKE ASS (and i told the camera this
numerous times).

so, i’m basically focused on making sure i can take the glove off as
soon as possible. nicole and i “fight” and she wins, easily. thank
goodness. eric says i should have attacked more, and i tell him i’m a
pacifist as i rip off the nasty glove. gaaahhh. there isn’t enough
antibacterial gel in the world to make me feel better (but i did have
some in my purse, of course).

then, nicole and george fight and SHE TOTALLY KICKS HIS ASS. it was
AWESOME. george is all, “well, i’m not sure i agree with that last ref
call but it’s cool, this is all in fun”. WHATEVER. nicole’s just
jumping up and down with her sword, which scared me a little.

we get back on the bus and sassy pants (jeff) pours more wine for
nicole. i pass and pull out my little jack daniels bottle (the only no
spillage option. obviously). henri thinks this is HI-larious and makes
kent do several close-ups of me taking a swig from the bottle. i bet
they’ll splice it in throughout the episode so i look like an
alcoholic. nicole gives me major props for drinking it straight. i give
her props for not spilling a lot of wine. yeah.

then kelly pops in a karaoke disk and “oops, i did it again” blares
from the speakers. all eyes turn to nicole. aw yeah. and… she takes
the bait.

guys, i cannot describe to you the pure SPLENDOR of nicole’s
performance as britney spears. it was… incredible. she even did some
moves from the music video. holy cow i can’t wait to see this on the
actual episode. henri was LOVING it and had the camera right up in her
face. and therefore nicole was loving it cos she was digging henri. ha
ha ha. every time jeff pointed the other camera at me, i just shook my
head (laughing) and pointed at nicole.

people. these are the moments reality tv dreams are made of.

we made it to the castle hill cafe,
a really nice (austin posh) restaurant (the website sucks but trust me,
it’s awesome). fooooood!!! yay!!! i was STARVING. i bounded out of the
bus and walked in with the camera guys. everyone stared. maybe they
thought i was in “the real world” (currently filming in austin, btw).
yeah, i felt famous. we sat down and the crew set up cameras so they
could sit at another table and eat too. damn. i soooo wanted to sit
with them instead. i felt like i was stuck at the little kids table.
gaaaah.

fortunately, there was really yummy food, so soon posh was happy. i
could have cared less about the conversation but i definitely
contributed (george kept talking about history and travel and all kinds
of shit that he apparently is the AUTHORITY on. nicole’s eyes glazed
over).

i went to the restroom (ahh silence), and henri cornered me with the
camera after i walked out. “so, sarah, what do you think? how’s the
date?” i said it was fun but that there was OBVIOUSLY no chemistry.
“so, if george picks you, what are you going to do?” i said that george
was nice but there was no way.

henri (h): so, after a bottle of jack, would you make out with george?

posh (p): no.

h: two?

p: uh, no.

h: three?

p: um, hello, i’d probably be in the hospital by then. after two bottles i’d at least be passed out.

h: would you pass out on george?

p: what?!

h: would you?!

p: um, i guess if he happened to be laying where my body landed, yeah, i guess i would.

h: ah i see.

p: you’re weird.

so after dinner, it was time for the TRUTH to be revealed!

henri gave us little white boards and asked george to write his choice
(or neither) of who he would like to go on another date with. then he
asked us to write yes or no (if george asked us). i think the answers
for nicole and i were uh pretty obvious but henri made a valiant effort
to make it sound dramatic.

finally, we gathered in front of the camera. george revealed his board:
“SARAH” (sarah shivers). george turns to nicole and tries to “let her
down easy” by telling her he had a wonderful time, blah blah blah.
nicole could not give a shit. then, sarah flips her board: “No. Sorry. :( But I had fun! :)” (yes i did draw the sad and smiley faces… i
felt bad). then nicole flips her board: “NO!” yep. no connections here.
shocker!!!

BUT

WAIT

it’s not over.

well, we all thought it was over. except george. who suddenly says, “i
have a suprise for you guys”. henri looks up, alarmed. george pulls out
his wallet and gets a picture out. “the joke’s on you cos i’ve got a
GIRLFRIEND!” he flashes the picture for the camera. nicole and i
collapse into laughter. henri looks on in disbelief (as if to say,
“there is no way you have a girlfriend”).

yeah, george. joke’s on us. riiiight.

it was just, too awesome. seriously. what a FANTASTIC TWIST!! after
nicole and i stopped laughing, we gave george a really hard time (on
camera too). i was like, “george, what if i had i said yes?! what if i
had fallen for you?!! this would have been a CRUEL BLOW.”

the best part is that he was really taking us seriously. “well, girls,
i would have given you the gift certificates.” (a “successful”
connection meant that the two daters would go out again with a pair of
gift certificates).

wow. talk about awesome.

so that was the end of our “date”. once the cameras were off, the crew
totally stopped pretending that they liked george. it was kinda sad,
really. nicole just kept trying to flirt with henri as we drove back to
the alamo. she didn’t seem to get that he wasn’t interested now that
the show was in the can. maybe it was that buffalo billiards story…

so, my friends, there you have it. this episode will be aired at the drafthouse downtown on may 8th.
i can’t wait!! there’s even a Q&A (i can only imagine what the
audience will be asking us… fortunately i’m probably the most
“boring” on film so i think i’ll be treated as the nice normal
person… hopefully).

if you live in austin, i’ll see you there. oh and you can meet george’s girlfriend too!!

as henri said later, “i’ll believe it when i see it.”

pantsing around austin

Published by
Sarah
April 11, 2005 in tasty business. 0 Comments

this weekend, i got to know austin a little better.

hi, austin. i feel like we’re so much closer. and i lurve you.

i went to THREE restaurants i’ve never been to.

1) on friday, i checked out chinatown (that’s the name of the restaurant) with
my dear high school friend jessica and her husband jim. best part of
the meal: i got to take ALL of the leftovers home cos jessica and jim
were staying at a hotel. SCORE!! downside: my fridge really smells like
chinese food. strongly. but… that’s ok. a small price to pay for a
week’s worth of food. yum.

2) frank & angie’s pizza!
[josh this is right by yr new digs] jessica and i went there on
saturday and had pizza with grilled eggplant. while we were there, our
friend randy called me to report some high school gossip: the drill
team coach was just INDICTED for embezzling money from the silverado
activity fund!!! SCANDAL! and so hilarious too. i mean, sure it’s a
crime, but so were those blue and silver tasseled silverado outfits.
yikes.

3) rudy’s bbq.
this place is AWESOME. they have this weird machine that washes yr
hands. it’s kinda scary, actually. you stick yr arms in the two holes
and then the machine sprays water and soap on you for 12 seconds. the
sign says it’s a “jacuzzi for the hands”. it did feel good but i’d
rather be in a regular jacuzzi. although those are not very clean.
so now i’m questioning why you would want to compare a hand washing
device to something that is completely full of bacteria and germs. um
gross. OH but the best part! they have stickers that say, “i have clean
hands”. aw yeah. i wore mine with mega pride. in fact i think i will
make it into a button so i can wear it every day. cos you guys know what
a germphobe i am.

on saturday night i saw the south austin jug band
at momo’s [side nerd comment: this website uses "eight track", one of
my favorite old fonts from fontalicious. this font is EVERYWHERE. ok
end nerd comment]. they play fantastic bluegrass but look more like
they should be in a punk/indie/alt-country band. check it out:

do these guys scream “austin” or what? SO MUCH fun. and so is the
audience. i pinpointed one drunk macdaddy early on and then watched him
COMPLETELY FALL OVER on a girl he was dancing with. holy crap it was
hilarious, especially after i was sure that the girl hadn’t split her
head open on the floor (it was a pretty awesome fall). what doesn’t
make sense is that the girl KEPT TALKING TO mr. drunk dancer pants
AFTER the fall. WTF? walk away, honey, or he might fall on you again.
or worse. and it won’t be pretty. like that time i nailed my head on
the steel trapeze bar in kindergarten and my friend beth told there was
“blood raining” on my shoulder before my teacher saw me and screamed.
yeah. not pretty.

seriously, this weekend affirmed why i heart
texas. bbq. bluegrass. bluebonnets on the side of the road. all the
b’s. even baseball.

yes you read that right. i actually WENT TO
A BASEBALL GAME this weekend. no, i didn’t take any crazy pills. my
friend from work, denise, invited me and k.c. (another awesome girl
friend from work) to go see the round rock express.
it’s a triple A team or something (i don’t know what the hell that
means). all i know is that the kid behind me was fantastic. he was
probably about 5 years old and kept yelling, “HIT! THE! BALL!” and (my
favorite) “FOCUS!! FOCUS!!”. i asked him if the express was his
favorite team and he looked at me like i had asked if t-rex was the
most kickass dinosaur. “YES! DUH!” with a big roll of the eyes. but
then i asked him about his favorite players, and he just shrugged and
got all nervous. “i don’t KNOW!” as if to say: stop asking questions,
cos i’m trying to watch the game and you’ll probably give me COOTIES.

this
kid knew WAY more about the game than i did. i was barely aware of the
score and just kept wondering when we’d finally get to the 7th inning
stretch so i could sing like a big fool. we also did the chicken dance
at one point (yes i really stood up and did it) but i have no idea what
inning that was. i just ate my hot dog and drank my $4 beer and tried
not to get hit by foul balls (one came really close but a seven year
old sitting nearby put his mitt over my head– i guess my shrieks and
“bomb drill” posture gave him a clue). ah sports. you scare the shit
out of me. i think my favorite part (besides the little boy and the
company) was when they showed that scene from ferris bueller where he’s
lip synching to “twist and shout” in the middle of the parade on the
big baseball screen. don’t ask me why. i was already on media overload
from the fact that every time something happened, they played the
beginning of a really catchy song (”start me up” or “we will rock you”)
and then cut it off right when i started getting my groove on. it was
quite frustrating, actually.

so all in all, it was a nice weekend. completely full of food. so of course that made me happy.

on a non-food and briefly serious note:

i
just started reading anne lamott’s book, “plan b: further thoughts on
faith” (thanks special k!). i’ve thought a lot about this:

“… peace is joy at rest, and joy is peace on its feet…”

yes. i believe that is true. but i would like to *feel* that it is true.

someday.

severe weirdness

Published by
Sarah
April 7, 2005 in cray. 0 Comments

lately, the days have been weird. not just in my life, but really for
almost everyone i know, in some form or fashion. not that the weirdness
is always bad, but it’s there. things are shifting, changing, sometimes
only slightly altered with no difference visible to the naked eye (what
is up with that phrase, btw?). i keep thinking that the moon has, like,
altered its orbit or something (”would you eat the moon if it was made
out of spare ribs? well, would ya?”). i’m not sure, but all i know is,
things are weird.

so, in honor of this feeling, i am posting weird shit. here we go.

first comes an alarming ad from mcdonald’s. folks, this is real. i swear. check the source. but you still won’t believe it cos it is so entirely fucked up. and scary:

i will now spend the rest of my life trying to obliterate this image
from mind. at least i won’t be alone. sorry guys. i just couldn’t deal
with this picture by myself.

and, from the same source, i give you THIS:

�����������������������

sure, this looks like a cute little “awareness” ribbon. i mean, who
wouldn’t want to proudly display the symbol of pi? not so fast, mr.
math nerd pants. if you wear this ribbon, you will be showing
awareness/acceptance for:

PAARC

Polyamory Awareness and Acceptance Ribbon Campaign

What This Ribbon Means

The Poly Ribbon displayed on a website indicates that the owner of that
site supports the acceptance of polyamory as a socially accepted
lifestyle. It does not necessarily mean that the owner of the site is
practicing such a lifestyle, merely that s/he is in support of it. A
link to this page serves to promote general awareness of the lifestyle
and of this campaign.

The ribbon itself is based on a flag originally created by Jim Evans.
A small version of the flag is shown in the border at left. As Jim
states, the colors are significant: “blue, representing the openness
and honesty among all partners with which we conduct our multiple
relationships; red, representing love and passion; and black,
representing solidarity with those who, though they are open and honest
with all participants of their relationships, must hide those
relationships from the outside world due to societal pressures. The
symbol in the center of the flag is a gold Greek lowercase letter ‘pi,’
as the first letter of ‘polyamory.’ The letter’s gold color represents
the value that we place on the emotional attachment to others, be the
relationship friendly or romantic in nature, as opposed to merely
primarily physical relationships.”

yeah, um, i think i’ll just stick with my breast cancer awareness pink chocolate ribbon pop.

continuing on… my friend meredith introduced me to guy bourdin,
this totally fabulous and strange photographer in the 70’s. i lurve his
photos, but they can be a bit creepy. here’s a weird one to maintain
the theme of this post:

i believe this photograph was for a shoe ad. i’m not sure if guy
truly understood how the consumer mind works… then again, those shoes
do look pretty hot.

and now, for something that will COMPLETELY FREAK YOU OUT. i mean, you thought that mcdonald’s ad was scary? LOOK AT THIS:

some scientists are working on these “real dolls” in order to… who
the fuck knows?!!! all i know is, this talking doll head named eva
really scared the hell out of me!!� watch this movie!
make sure you see the whole thing, cos at the end eva says, “right now,
i am just a machine. but someday, i may be fully conscious and aware.”
WTF?!! i swear people act like they’ve never seen “terminator” or
“blade runner”. it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that
ROBOTS WILL TAKE OVER THE WORLD at some point in the future. obviously
the phrase “rocket scientist” needs to be retired cos the creators of
these robots WORK FOR NASA. gah the irony is killing me.

if this doesn’t scare you… you have serious problems. or you’re a
robot. if you are a robot, don’t tell me. it’s just to scary to think
about.

ok, i think that’s enough weirdness for one day. i’ve got a serious
case of the heebie jeebies just from posting that robot head picture.
GAH!

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Published by
Sarah
April 6, 2005 in growing up. Enter your password to view comments

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beer bike 2005

Published by
Sarah
April 5, 2005 in voyages. 0 Comments

so yeah, beer bike 2005 was 100% ridiculous fun. ok, well, maybe 95%.
cos there were a few solid serious conversations. although i might bump
it back up to 96% when i think about friday night at the marquis which
was COMPLETELY RIDICULOUS. and awesome. as only a dive bar packed with
rice alums nursing long island ice teas can be. a lot of people didn’t
recognize me with long hair. then again, it could have just been the
tea.

did i mention i got to eat at chacho’s?! and also jenni’s?! (i got to
see photos of jenni’s new baby boy. which of course made me squeal and
go “aww” a lot). so, my food dreams came TRUE! and i was happy. happy
happy posh pants. oh and on sunday we had brunch at the hobbit cafe! we
ate outside, which was splendiferous, except for the tree crap that
kept falling in our food. tim screamed a lot, which made everyone in
our vicinity stare at us with hatred/wonder. basically, we were the
“shitty table” that the other patrons wish would just eat and go away.
so we took our time. aw yeah.

although i still mostly hung with my houston peeps (josh, ray, erica,
jessica) i thoroughly enjoyed the chance to catch up with rice folk i
don’t normally see. for example, grandpa tim was in town!! tim is only
24 (23?) and i really don’t remember when/why we started calling him
grandpa, so don’t ask. at any rate, tim screamed like a girl during the
first five minutes of our conversation, so once again my dreams came
true. if you’ve never heard tim lott scream, i’m very sorry for you.
tim and i also indulged in a lot of stupid-speak, culminating in the
massive repetition of “suck it” with complimentary hand gestures.

now when i say “suck it”, people just look at me like i’m extremely
obscene and vulgar. hmm. probably not the most professional of terms…

ALSO, as josh pointed out on his xanga, ray developed a new awesome
character named “bernard”; this transformation requires only jessica’s
soft pink hoody and a cigarette (well, and a wife beater underneath
with a bit of chest hair showing… ew). ray wore this ensemble the
entire time we were at brasil. i think he forgot he was acting. in
fact, i think he really enjoys being bernard. frankly, he wouldn’t stop
doing it, even at josh’s apartment. ray, maybe we need to talk…

josh’s apartment on saturday night was the scene of lots of ridiculous
fun. jessica showed us how her high school pop choir performed “shake
your groove thing” and erica joined in for choreographical support.
this led to me shouting “pop show pride!!” throughout the evening (or
was it “pop choir pride”? can’t remember). eventually josh, erica and i
ended up doing some pretty sweet axl rose impressions. i’m not sure
what the neighbors thought, but hell they weren’t complaining.

at beer bike, i realized that i’m getting older. and that some people
are getting older, faster. my friend matt told me he’s getting married
(hurrah!), and i got to see my friend mayra’s beautiful baby, julia. i
can’t explain how surreal it was to watch former wiess party boys
goo-gooing over a sweet baby girl. it was like “three men and a baby”
with no annoying ted danson character. or steve guttenberg. ok, i guess
that’s not really a good comparison. but you know what i mean.

overall, it was just good. good to see people. good to be in houston.
good to catch up (although several inebriated people in the alumni tent
told me that they would regretfully not remember our conversation, but
that’s ok).

good to be *young* and yet, not in college anymore.

i’ll miss you, mitch.

Published by
Sarah
April 4, 2005 in this post will conform to no category!. 1 Comment

beer bike was AWESOME. and i will post about it later today, when daylight savings stops biting me in the ass. GAH.

but sad news: mitch hedberg died!
kendall told me this weekend. can you believe it? what a damn shame. he
had a heart attack… at 37… so… um… drugs anyone?

mitch. i will miss you. and slappy the frog will miss you too. thanks
for making me laugh so hard i almost peed in my pants on multiple
occasions.

 

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